Hello again! :D
This chapter is pretty important, so I hope you like it and everything is alright!
She remembered the first time she had slept with Okita Sougo like it had been yesterday. She had lived in Yoshiwara for about three years and she had been working as some kind of geisha during that time. Entertaining men, but never sleeping with them. Tsukuyo had made that clear. The blonde had only agreed to let her live there under one condition -she would never work as a prostitute. However, Kagura had refused to stay without contributing, so they had reached that agreement.
Kagura had been sixteen when someone had first shown interest in her. It was her third month there, and he had walked in one night with some friends. They had booked a room and had asked for a few courtesans. Kagura was among them, still learning the basics.
It had been peaceful for most of the night, with the typical laughs and some people leaving, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, the girl hadn't missed the man's gaze on her throughout the soiree. He was attractive, with black short hair and hazel eyes. He must had been in his mid thirties, and the girls were all over him. He had spoken briefly to one of the women in charge, and she had shook her head looking in her direction. Nothing had happened that night.
From there onwards, the man would come back regularly, always accompanied with other men. Sometimes they saw each other, other times they didn't. They did small talk even if she wasn't interested -it was her work, after all- and from time to time they took walks through the garden. He had never suggested anything, yet it was obvious he had talked with Tsukuyo about her. She had told her nothing about it, though.
When her eighteenth birthday was approaching, however, things changed. He wasn't subtle anymore, he was downright courting her. Not that courtesans usually needed that, but she was not the typical one.
At first she had been confused. She wasn't used to that much attention, even if she had been in the Red Light District for more than two years. She was pretty, and people commented about her exotic looks and her curvy body. She was aware of that, though she had never paid it any attention. This man, however, wouldn't leave her alone and she started to dislike his company. He was like her shadow.
It wouldn't have been a problem if times were different. She would have ended up kicking his ass. But one thing was sure - the White Plague was taking its toll on everyone and the money was needed. The amount that man was offering for a night with her -her first- was exorbitant.
When she went to talk to Tsukuyo about the topic, she wasn't faced when the Death God Courtesan looked at her with fury in her eyes and told her to stop talking nonsense. There was only one rule the Yato had to follow. But Kagura knew her way around the older woman and she alleged that she would be old enough, she had nothing to lose and she didn't mind. Besides, considering she was a Yato, she was off age already and the Hyakka Boss couldn't do nothing about that. What was a stupid thing as her virginity compared to the money they could use to eat? It took time but, in the end, she somehow convinced the blonde.
And then, the day came.
She had spent the whole afternoon getting ready and the only thing she wanted was it to end soon.
Saying that Kagura was nervous was an understatement. She had never really thought about what was to come, because she had wanted to help and it was the only way she could think of. If that man was willing to pay a huge amount of money in exchange for a night with her, she wasn't going to refuse. Still, that hadn't stopped her from pushing the topic to the deepest corner in her mind. Because everytime she thought about it, her legs wobbled, her stomach constricted and her heart ached. Not because she wasn't ready to sleep with him, but because when she thought about intimacy, about her first time, a certain sandy haired samurai came to her mind.
Her cheeks burned, and she shook her head. This wasn't the time to be thinking about that. Said samurai had nothing to do with her anymore.
Even with that resolution, though, she had cried herself to sleep the night before. That would be the only time she would allow herself to mope about the topic.
A shadow appeared behind the door, and she breathed deeply.
'This is it. It's alright, I'll be fine. I've had it worse.'
The door opened, revealing the man, whose name she didn't really remember -not that it mattered- who entered the room like he owned the place. Kagura plastered on her face one of those fake smiles they had taught her and offered the man a seat beside her.
"I'm glad to see you're as beautiful as always."
"Thank you, sir. It's a pleasure to be here tonight."
'Oh my god let this end soon.'
The man fumbled inside his kimono and brought up a bottle of liquor. It looked expensive.
"I hope you don't mind drinking this, but I thought a special occasion deserved a special bottle of sake."
"I appreciate your thoughtfulness, and I'll be more than glad to drink it with you, sir."
He poured down the sake in two cups, and offered her one. She accepted it and looked at its content. The liquid was a pale shade of pink, and she wondered how it would taste. She sipped, and the liquor scorched her mouth. She thought of spitting it out, but that didn't seemed very lady like, and she wasn't ruining this now. She gulped and let the too sweet, too hot sake go down her throat.
When she looked up again, the man was smiling at her, ready to serve her another shot. His glass was already empty. She smiled again and offered her cup.
'Fuck off already. Just finish what you've come here for.'
They started small talk, and the man kept serving her sake. She tried to slow him down by taking small gulps, but in her third cup she was starting to feel nauseous. When he tried to serve her the fourth, she excused herself.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not feelin-" The cup slipped between her fingers and crashed on the floor.
A throbbing pain shot through her head and she started to feel dizzy. She attempted to take her hands to her head, but they fell limply against her sides. She was soon on the floor, lying on her side.
It was confusing. Her body was not reacting and, as much as she tried to make her brain work, she felt it shutting down. Her breath became laboured and the room was suddenly too hot.
"Ah, I see it's already making effect. I'm sorry, Kagura-chan, but I plan to have a very nasty night with you, indeed. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't run away. But don't you worry, please. You won't regret anything of it when you wake up tomorrow. I promise you it will be worth it, and you won't forget the sensations that will flood through your body tonight."
She felt a hand took a strand of her hair, and the last thing she remembered before passing out were his lustful eyes and the strange feeling in her stomach.
When she opened her eyes again, something was off. She had to close them immediately, as the dim light illuminating in the room made her brain protest. She guessed she was lying on a futon, and the room was hot. Too hot. With eyes still shut, she tried to remember what had happened. Lustful eyes appeared on her mind and, even though she should have been disgusted, something within her stirred.
Someone moved beside her, and her eyes shot open again, regarding her surroundings this time. Surprise and relief flooded through her when she saw a familiar pair of red eyes looking at her, and her blood run faster.
"Well, China, you're finally awake."
The other bastard was nowhere to be seen. Kagura opened her mouth to answer, but her throat was dry and she was having trouble to think properly. Okita continued his talking.
"Here I was today, ready to enjoy myself, when I saw you being dragged by a creep. I should have left you both alone, considering he was ready to ravish you there and then, but he was so damn gross I decided not even a monster like you deserved it. I wonder what he was looking for in the hallways with you at his back. You looked like a potatoes sack."
"I... Th- that asshole has d-drugged me..." She was talking more to herself, her tongue raspy and slow, but the samurai didn't miss the way her hands trembled.
"I know."
Kagura looked at him questioningly when he confirmed her suspicions.
"He said it was a special aphrodisiac for Yatos. Lowers strength, rises libido. Though I didn't believe it was possible for someone to want you that bad. Besides, wasn't he gonna spend the night with you nonetheless?"
Kagura's cheeks burned -more than they already were- and she wondered how was he able to talk about this kind of topic so naturally. Sure, they were in Yoshiwara. Hell, she was working there, but still...
'Oh, fuck. Why am I surprised? He has always been this way.' She still wondered, though, how did he know about this.
"That should be none of your business, but yes."
"Didn't Tsukuyo forbid you to sleep with customers?"
"She did, but this is an exception. Where are we, by the way?"
"I brought you to the nineteenth floor. I guess that man won't be able to come up here in the state I left him." He smirked and his eyes glinted. Kagura's stomach twisted weirdly again. She incorporated, using her hands as support, and the room spinned around her.
"Ugh, Sadist, I don't... I don't feel good. How long have I been sleeping?"
"It's been two hours since I brought you here."
'You've been here for two hours?'
The room was already dark, so she decided he was telling the truth. Her heart beat faster. That good for nothing idiot had actually taken care of her. Happiness filled her. It wasn't being that bad of a night after all. The stupid man had paid them already, so she didn't need to worry about the money, she had got out of trouble and the Sadist was actually being nice.
She fixed her eyes on him. He was sitting, his back leaning on the wall and his stance relaxed. His sword was to the side, and he had taken off his scarf even though it was winter. She had to say the room was quite comfy. And hot. Too hot.
She thought then about how easy it would be to close the distance between them, sit on his lap and kiss him senseless. She had no experience in kissing matters and she didn't know where this thoughts were coming from, but for once, she didn't care. So she followed her suddenly awakened Yato instincts in a whim and did as her mind -or the most irrational part of it- was telling her.
When Sougo realised what was happening, she was already straddling him, her hands cupping both his cheeks and her lips pressing against his.
It was strange, kissing the man she had been in love with for so long. However, she didn't have much time to dwell on it. The kiss ended as soon as it had started when he grabbed both her shoulders and pushed her away, his glare severe and his hands cold against her.
"What the hell are you doing."
"I want to sleep with you." The statement was bold, she still had no idea where these thoughts were coming from and she said it so calmly she was surprised herself.
"Excuse you?" Sougo stared at her with disbelief, his eyes widening in surprise. At least, she had got something out of him besides the deadpanned look.
"I'm sure you've heard me the first time."
"You're drugged, brat." His glare intensified, and he made the attempt to put her in the floor, but she locked her arms around his neck and steadied her legs at his sides. Now he couldn't move, considering her Yato strength was on her side.
"Is that the only impediment?"
"Hell no!"
"Because if it is, I will let you know you don't have to worry about it." To prove her point, she punched the wall, her fist creating a whole inches away from his head.
Her strength had come back, and she was fully aware of her actions, but there was a feral and primitive something in her gut telling her to fuck this man senseless. If she was still drugged, it had nothing to do with her consciousness and her awareness, and a lot to do with her sexual drive.
Any other day her cheeks would have grown warmer at the thought and she would have told herself to calm down, but maybe the remainings of the aphrodisiac were what she needed. The last push to do something about her feelings. After all, it would be a one night stand. Nothing more. Many of the girls she usually worked with had already slept with him. It was only natural for her to feel curious, both about him and about this whole sex thing, and maybe after that one night she would finally forget about him. After waking up alone the following day, her brain would finally process he was not a good idea. Then, after two weeks of enduring a broken heart, she would be fine again.
That's what she had told herself at the moment, but a little, tiny voice in a corner of her conscience told her things would go wrong if she kept going.
"I said I'm not sleeping with you."
Ignoring the last rational bit of her brain working coherently that told her this was not a good idea, she rolled her hips, eliciting a low growl from Sougo.
"China..." That was a warning.
"Why not? What's the difference between the other girls and me? I'm not drugged anymore, and I want to keep helping here. To achieve that, I need to actually sleep with customers. If you're not my first, I will look for another one. I was just giving you the chance to have free sex. You've spared me a rough night, and you've come here to fuck some random chick. So what's the problem? We'd both win something out of this."
Sougo kept staring at her, but something in his eyes had changed. Kagura observed him warily, wondering what was going through his mind at the moment. There was a time when they didn't need words to understand each other, before everything had gone wrong and before her feelings had gotten in the way. They had known what the other was thinking with just a glance, and they had helped each other more than once. Now, it was impossible for her to read the man in front of her.
Without a warning, and taking advantage of her sudden distraction, Okita turned them around, her back against the floor and her head knocking the wall. She covered the sore spot with her hands, a curse escaping her lips.
"What the hell, Sadist..." She lifted her gaze to make sure he knew he was in trouble, but her words caught in her throat and she gulped.
Okita was staring at her with eyes akin to those of the man who had tried to rape her not three hours ago, but he wasn't moving and something within her awakened.
"Let me get this right." His voice had dropped a few notches. "This is your first time and you are fine with sleeping with me tonight."
Seeing her words weren't coming out yet, she nodded once.
"And you give me permission to do whatever I want to you."
Hearing that statement made some bells rang in her head.
"If you dare to hurt me in some sadistic way I swear to you won't make it out alive of this room."
He didn't answer her, but his eyes had become slits.
"And if you ever tell anyone, I will also kill you. This is a secret."
"If you don't want anyone to know, how are you supposed to keep helping here?"
"That's not your problem." She glared daggers at him. He was right. She just couldn't tell Tsukuyo she had slept with some random guy, but she would have time to think about it. As soon as her top priority changed from "fuck Sadist" to "think straight again".
"Fine. Are those the conditions?"
Kagura pondered the question for a moment.
"I guess so."
"Alright then."
Without giving her time to respond, he lowered his head to hers. This kiss was nothing like the previous one. She had had no idea what she was doing, and it had been so brief she hadn't really had time to enjoy it properly. This time, as soon as his skin met hers, her brain shut down and her heart skipped a beat. He started slowly, his lips tracing her own and moving against them. She kissed him back not long after, and he decided to take it step further biting her bottom lip. She sucked in a breath, and he broke the kiss, not before tugging at her lower lip.
She bit said lip, and Okita looked down at her.
"You are sure, right? I'm not going back after this."
Feeling a craving she had never felt before, and starting to get impatient, she grabbed a handful of sandy hair and tugged at it, effectively getting Sougo back to work again.
Not long after, she found herself panting on the floor. The first layers of her outfit laid open beneath her, the golden and red clothing contrasting with her now loosened orange hair. She was not familiar with the new sensations running through her body, but every single one of them had to do with the man currently eating her neck. Because the kissing had turned to licking, suckind and biting and her skin was on fire.
It hadn't been much trouble suppressing the sounds making their way up her throat before -her pride told her not to let him heard her cries-, but as soon as Sougo pecked a certain spot right above her left clavicle, she moaned out loud. He felt the man smirking against her skin, and she frowned. She was sure he was up to something now. Not wasting any time, said man bit her hard and she sucked in a breath.
'What the hell?'
Sougo was hell bent on getting something out of her from that spot and she knew he had what he wanted when her back arched out of reflex towards his. Her chest flattened against his, and he pushed her body against the floor. The temperature only got higher when he pressed his leg between hers, and she writhed beneath him, whimpering.
Something carnal and animalistic pulled at her senses and the next thing she knew, she was on top of a surprised Okita, her hands pulling at his uwagi and her lips craving his hardened skin. Her hands roamed his chest and his abdomen, the muscles flexing under her touch. She had not miss the scar adorning his right side, the one she had had the luck to tend to some months ago. This time, however, her Yato instincts told her not to be gentle. At all.
Sougo squirmed under her touch, his features darkening and his eyes half-lidded. Something in her mind told her he was not used to be the one dominated.
"Brat, what are you-"
"Now." Her voice was hoarse.
"What?"
"I want you now."
"You are not even completely aroused. You want it to hurt that much? Are you suddenly an M?" His words weren't serious, but his eyes regarded her with wariness.
"Yatos don't need that kind of human thing." At his expectant glare she continued. "A race that is always killing needs quick ways to reproduce. What would you do if you were a Yato and I decided to kill you before fertilization? Foreplay, if ever done, is reserved for loving, married couples. So no, I'm not about to lose my time with you like that."
Something about her cold tone made her cringe, and the sadist must have sensed it too, because he was up in a second, carrying her on his arms towards the futon.
"Then lets end up this quickly."
He threw her on the cotton bed and lifted up her legs, his hands running down her almost white skin and coming close to her underwear. She gasped and he reached for her last piece of her kimono, tossing it aside and leaving her chest exposed. Her cheeks heated up, but she was not about to cover herself up now.
He regarded her for a seconds before speaking up.
"Protection."
"Uh? Oh. I-uh... I'm not even human, Housen never used it and I have yet to see little Yatos running around. We'll be fine without it."
"I'm not about to risk it and get you pregnant." He sighed impatiently.
"I said it's alright. Besides, won't it be more pleasurable for you that way? Stop complaining and hurry up."
"Don't come running to me in nine months, then."
That being said, he took off the remaining clothes he was wearing and giving Kagura no time no peek, he lowered his head to her bosom.
Her first reaction was to scream. Loud. She had never had someone fondle her like that and, the longer his mouth grazed her skin, the more she wanted. The caresses didn't last, though. He started to nibble her right breast more roughly, making her writhe under him while he used his hand to play with the left one. His other hand was busy making its way up and down her leg, getting closer to the baby blue lingerie she was sure wouldn't be there for much long.
"Sa-sadist- oh god." She gasped for air when he squeezed her mound rather hard. "I-I told you to h-hurry up."
He raised his head a bit to answer and she was tempted to grab and bury it again in her chest.
"The fact that you don't need foreplay doesn't mean I don't need it neither. Now shut up and let me enjoy."
His mouth returned to its previous place and, after some more minutes were Kagura thought she was in heaven and her body was ablaze, he scattered some kisses on his way up to her mouth again. After pecking her lips lightly, he looked at her straight in the eye. He was also panting, and his voice was so raspy and low she decided she couldn't wait no more. He spoke kind of soft to her, nonetheless.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah."
"Alright then. I don't know about Yatos, but some girls say it hurts the first time. Don't blame me for it."
Kagura nodded her head, already aware of the oh so infamous rumours about the first time. Living in Yoshiwara had taught her all the theory she needed to know, more if it had to do with this time in particular. She wasn't scared, as she was more than able to endure some insignificant pain. It didn't stop her, however, from wrapping her arms around his neck, her face pressed against his shoulder as his hand returned to massage her breast. She whined. He used his other arm to support himself and, as she bit her lip and closed her eyes, he carefully thrusted into her.
It didn't hurt, though it was a bit tight. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and she tried to concentrate. The feeling was weird, to say the least. She wasn't used to have anyone inside her, and Sougo waited still for some moments to let her adjust a bit. Then, he started moving slowly. Quite slowly, to be honest. She didn't complain though, silently thanking him for letting her take her time and for being considerate for once. She bit her lip again as a new feeling in her low abdomen started to replace the odd one. It was different from anything she had experienced before and, if it kept growing, she was sure the kisses and the touching from before would be left to shame.
This new sensation made her heart skip a beat and her stomach flip. It soon turned to something pleasurable and, as Sougo kept incrementing the pace, she found herself needing more, rolling her hips to meet her thrusts. She was starting to understand why people liked sex so much.
Or maybe it had to do something with him?
It was a given fact that if you were in love with the person having sexual relations with you, it would be more than just enjoyable. However, and considering she was absolutely not gonna open the door leading to her feelings, she tried to view as what it actually was for him- just sex.
It wasn't only how he moved inside her, but his hand playing with her breast and his mouth biting her ear and the way his body made hers fit perfectly. She was not thinking straight, so she decided to rely in her instincts, that up till now kept telling her how to move against him.
Not long after, the pressure inside her was almost unbearable.
"Faster." She tugged at his hair, and Okita growled and complied. For the first time since she had met him, she thanked all the gods above for his seemingly unlimited stamina. The title of god the girls had given him made suddenly much more sense.
Clasping her legs around his waist, she moved her hips one last time before feeling all the tension dissipate in waves of pleasure. She cried and closed her eyes, her hands entangling in his hair in an attempt to keep herself from falling limp on the futon as he pounded inside her a few more times before suddenly stopping.
"China, let me-"
Instead of letting go of him, she somehow managed to tighten her hold on him, and he cursed. Too late.
He collapsed on the sheets, Kagura under him, but she was more focused on trying to even her breath again. Sougo was as breathless as her.
"What the actual fuck, you brat!" He was mad, but she didn't pay him any attention.
For the first time since she had woken up, her mind had cleared up completely.
'Oh god.'
Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea.
Sougo regretted what he had done as soon as he lifted his head to look at her. For the first time since this now to be mess had started, he could see her eyes clearly. When she had woken up, and during the physical activity they had just been engaged in, her eyes had been cloudy. He had concluded it had something to do with lust, maybe it was related to her clan heritage. But seeing her face now told him something different.
Forgetting his anger towards her, he saw himself reflected in shades of blue. Her cheeks were red and she was puffing hard. She was looking at him as if he was some kind of someone that shouldn't be there. She was scared. Even if her face didn't give it away, he knew those eyes. They were the eyes people had before he killed them, when they knew there was nothing else they could do and they were done for.
Nonetheless, what was she afraid of? The situation? Him? His outburst from before, while comprehensible and excusable, was not enough to deter her. It had never been.
Pushing the thoughts aside and putting his mind to work again, he tried to stand up as he looked for a way to lessen the suddenly found tension.
"Are you a koala?"
Kagura snapped back to reality, blinking a couple of times and looking down. She still had her arms around his neck and her legs were firmly holding his waist.
"Sorry." She disentangled herself from him, and he thought how out of place it was for her to apologize. Finally getting up, he made a beeline for the adjacent room, where a basin filled with water was surely waiting for him. There were two adjacent rooms for every principal one in the luxury floors, where they were actually in. One for the customer and the other for the courtesan. They were used for cleaning purposes. He needed to splash his face with water urgently.
When he finished about fifteen minutes later and donning a kimono, he came back to the first room to get dressed. However, something made him stop dead in his tracks and he turned his head around to look at her.
She was fumbling with the sheets, covering herself with a sleeping robe as she tried to unfold another futon on the floor. The sandy haired man was amazed she had been faster than him.
Sougo watched the Yato lie down and then she stopped as well to look at him.
Her expression was back to normal, and her eyes showed no emotion, but her hands were tightly gripping the hems of the comforter.
"I guess this is... mmm... the moment you leave?"
He would've clapped his hands at her eloquence if this weren't the most awkward situation he had ever been in.
And she was right. This was the moment when he left without a second thought, no matter how begging the girls were or how warm their beds seemed. Add to that he wanted to flee this place as soon as possible because he was more than certain than it was what the alien girl wanted at the moment.
Still, when he was about to turn around and leave, and despite his number two rule -never stay the night- , a silver perm raced through his mind and he sighed to himself.
"Make room."
He made his way towards the girl and Kagura looked at him dumbfoundedly.
"What?"
"I'm sure you've heard me the first time." Using the same words that had left her mouth before, he crouched down. "C'mon, this futon is big enough for the both of us."
Seeing that she was not moving on her own, he pushed her to the side, lying down with his back to her.
He didn't know why, but he did not have the heart to leave her alone. Not her. Not the girl he had seen grow beside him, as his one and only rival. Not the girl that had been so dead inside for the past three years. If he owed that lazy ass something, he was going to pay this way. Taking care of her in his own way. He couldn't undo what had happened the hour before, but he could try to amend it this way.
Kagura couldn't believe her eyes as she stared at the back of the man next to her. Here he was, the cold sadistic bastard who would always leave after he was done, getting ready to sleep.
Her cheeks heated up again and she tried not to think about the things he had done to her in this same room. It brought her conflicting feelings, and she decided it was best if she went to sleep. She would have the rest of her life to decide why she had slept with Okita Sougo. And to regret it. She didn't need a good night sleep to know she would regret it.
So, lying down as well and trying to keep her body as far as possible from him, she closed her eyes and prayed for slumber to come and take her to a world where she hadn't screwed herself up.
Also, I'd like to thank you all for your reviews. I've been checking the previous chapters for grammar mistakes and typos, though I'm sure they're not completely perfect yes, so please please tell me the chapter and the part of it that needs changes if you ever see mistakes.
I'll update every two weeks instead of once a week because the chapters are getting longer and I don't want them to be rushed.
Again thank you for reading this story!
P.S. to little puppy: I wrote about Sougo's feelings back in Words (chapter 7), so check it out again :)
