Chapter Eight: A Sharp Confrontation

"S-Sammy… I-I'm sorry! I was just trying to help you!" Simon pleaded. Sam was silent for a moment. Simon could see her wrestling with feelings of anger and self-loathing and fear. Simon could tell how betrayed Sam felt. She had trusted Simon with her secret and Simon had betrayed her.
"How could you?" Sam whispered. Her dream had come true. Her nightmare. Simon had betrayed her. She stared at Amanda in horror, her face chalk white.

"Sammy… Calm… Down." Amanda said as Sam bolted, locking herself in her room. She immediately began preparing to leave home. She knew she wouldn't be welcome anymore. Even Simon didn't love her anymore. But where could she go. Surely Luna already knew. And if Luna knew, the whole band knew. She didn't have any other friends in Royal Woods really. She sighed. She'd figure it out. Maybe Lincoln was nicer than he had been in her dream.

She grabbed her diary. Simon had bought a beautiful black leatherbound diary with silver leaf and a silver lock on it for her birthday. He had spent the rest of his Christmas money on it. She got her guitar, her violin and the book she was reading. She couldn't stand not knowing what happened next. She got her smart phone and earphones so that she could listen to music. She had a huge library of Classical Music, Opera, Classic Rock and Oldies and modern rock.

Overall, she had over 10,000 songs in her smart phone. She had saved up to buy the 256 GB phone because she knew her phone would be holding a lot of music. She knew at least 1/3 of the songs on the phone by heart already. She went to the window and opened it. As she was about to climb out, she heard a knock on her door.

"Sammy? I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to betray you! Mom and Dad want to talk to you! They say they're not angry. They just want to talk to you!" Simon pleaded. She heard a series of clicks, and Simon broke into her room Sam actually smirked.

"Not bad. You've been practicing." She said.

"But I have to go." Sam said.

"They may not be angry at me, but I know they won't accept me." Sam said. Simon's face fell when he saw the package Sam had with her.

"Sammy… Please, just listen to Mom and Dad. If they don't accept you, I'll leave with you. I'll go wherever you go.

"No you won't." Sam said coldly.

"I don't trust you, Simon. I asked you to keep my sexuality secret and you betrayed me." Sam said. She saw a flicker of pain fill his eyes. It disappeared just as quickly, but his voice when he spoke again was heartbreaking.

"I-I understand." He said.

"Please don't leave yet though? Give Mom and Dad a chance to talk to you?" The blonde boy pleaded. Sam sighed.
"No." The girl said, heading out the door and leaving the house with her backpack, ignoring what Amanda and Erik said.

-0-

It was chilly that day. Sam was shivering slightly. She knew she had nowhere to go. She still had some money though from Christmas. She tended to save it, and so she went to a diner and sat down, drowning her misery in food and tea. She knew she was going to be sick later from eating too much. But it distracted her from her fear and loneliness.

The waitress came over to her table and filled her cup of tea again.

"You look upset." The young woman said. Sam nodded helplessly.

"Is there any chance you have jobs available here? Even just washing dishes would be fine." Sam said.

"I'm almost fourteen and I'm a really hard worker."

"I'll get the manager. We'll see what we can do." The waitress said. Sam smiled sadly.
"Thanks." She said.

"I get off in about a half hour. Would you like to talk for a while?" The young woman asked. She didn't look any older than fifteen.

"I guess so." Sam said.

"My name is Dana. What's your name?" The fifteen year old asked.

"I'm Sam." Sam said.

"Well, Sam. Enjoy your meal." Dana said, setting the meatloaf dinner on the table. Sam dug in, finishing the whole thing. She felt disgusting after eating so much. But at least she wasn't hungry anymore. She had school the next day. It was getting late, but she didn't really care. She just couldn't be at home. It was getting dark out. Fortunately, that meant Amanda and Erik couldn't go out to look for her.

She waited for the hour, paying her bill and sitting until Dana got off and sat outside with her.

"So, what's up, Sam?" Dana asked politely. Sam sighed.

"My brother betrayed me." Sam said bitterly. Dana leaned in, chuckling wryly.

"Yeah. Siblings can be a pain sometimes. But you gotta know they love you. Even if they don't always show it. But you can't have left home at 8 o' Clock at night just because your brother did something bad."

"Well… What he-what he did… Is-do you think being gay is bad?" Sam asked nervously. She hoped she'd never see Dana again after this. So hopefully even if she did think it was bad, it wouldn't matter.

"Not really. Whether you're gay, straight or other, it matters who you are, not what you are." Dana shrugged. "Sam… Did your parents get mad at you for being gay?" Dana asked, putting a sympathetic hand on the blonde girl's shoulder.

"No. My little brother was talking to our mom and he told her that I'm gay. She kind of tricked the information out of him, so it's not entirely his fault. He's only eight." Sam said.

"But I made him promise me that he wouldn't tell. Now I'm afraid that they won't love me anymore." Sam sighed. Dana hugged Sam.

"Listen, Sammy… You have to give your parents a chance to tell you whether they accept you. If you haven't stayed and let them tell you for themselves, how will you know?" Dana asked. Sam shrugged.

"I had some problems back in my old city. People weren't too cool about me being gay. I'm not sure I feel safe waiting to find out. I'd rather things just go back to the way they were and never have to know. Because if I never know how they feel, I can never be hurt by them." Sam said.

Dana smiled wistfully.

"But what if they do accept you and you're always scared about how they feel. You seem like you're really vulnerable right now. Whatever happened back in your old home, will you ever be able to heal if you don't take this chance and find out how they really feel about you?" Dana asked. Sam looked away nervously. She didn't know how to answer that.

"I-I don't know. I'm just scared. What if they send me to some creepy priest in some freaky camp to try to fix me?"

"If that happens, my parents have a guest room. I'll talk to them. They're pretty open. This is where I live." Dana said, handing Sam a piece of paper with her address on it.

"I know it might be a little forward of me. Trust me, I'm straight. But I can't stand it when people judge other people for who they are or what color they are or who they love. It makes me sick." Dana said. She had an uncle who had recently gotten married to a man, and some of his friends kind of fell away from him after he came out as gay. And she loved her uncle. She couldn't see why his sexuality had anything to do with what kind of person he was.

"Do you think my parents will still love me?" Sam asked. Dana sighed.

"I don't know. But they're your parents. You owe them the chance to tell you for themselves." Dana said calmly. Sam sighed. She was still scared. But Dana was right.

"Yeah… Y-yeah… I-do you know how to get to my house?" Dana shook her head.
"No. But why don't you tell me the address and I can take you there." Dana said.

Sam nodded and the two walked over to Sam's house. Dana hugged Sam.
"Whatever happens, it's gonna be alright." Dana said.

"This is my address. If you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me." She said. Sam smiled and went back into her house, where she was immediately hugged tightly by Erik and Amanda.

"Sammy!" Erik said. It was obvious he'd been crying. His eyes were puffy and red and his face was red. It looked like he had been yelling.

"D-Daddy… Are-are you mad at me?" Sam asked timidly. Erik shook his head.

"Of course not, sweetie." Erik said, taking Sam and sitting down with her.

"Sammy… We're not angry at you. We're concerned. You seemed so out of it. You've been hurt and we want to help you. We know it's not your choice to be gay, and whoever you end up with, we'll be happy for you. If this is just a phase, if you're just experimenting and you end up with a boy, we'll be happy for you. If you end up with a girl, we'll be happy for you." Amanda said, holding Sam tightly.

"How long have you known you were attracted to girls?" Erik asked, seeming strangely disconnected now that he was talking to Sam.

"Um-I… Since close to the end of last school year… I-I started falling for Saoirse in May." Sam said. Erik's face wrinkled with a frown.
"And you didn't tell us? You didn't trust us?" He asked, seeming hurt.

Amanda looked at him meaningfully.

"Erik, you were drunk on the couch at that point in our lives. You probably wouldn't have processed what she said anyway." Amanda said, sounding annoyed.

"It's alright, Sammy… I'm sorry I wasn't here for you sooner. I'm sorry we weren't here to help you. Do you want to talk to us now? Tell us what happened?" Amanda asked. Sam shook her head.

"Do-do you promise you're not upset? I-I know you wanted me to give you grandchildren." Sam said. Amanda chuckled.

"Sammy… What we want is for you to be happy. That's our first desire for you." Amanda said.

"If you have children, we'll be happy. If you decide to adopt, that's great. If not, and you just want to be happy with whoever you end up with, that's fine too." Amanda said.

Sam nodded.

"I-I'm sorry." Sam said. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I… No! I-I tried to tell you!" Sam said angrily.

"I tried to talk to you that night. I asked you for a little bit of your time and you cared more about your job than you did about me!" Sam said, her anger and bitterness returning in full force.

"At least Simon tried to help me! Even if he is a stupid little fuck up who can't keep his mouth shut!" Sam snarled.

Simon, who had come downstairs when he heard Sam come in the door, gasped upon hearing what Sam thought of him. He screamed in rage and pain.

"I hate you too! You stupid fucking dyke!" Simon screamed, storming up to his room. A look of utter alarm and pain filled Sam's eyes. Amanda tried to hug her, but Sam pushed her away and ran up to her own room, collapsing on her bed in tears.

Eventually, she fell asleep, tossing and turning, not finding it easy to sleep. Simon hated her. She felt horrible thoughts drift in and out of her dreams. Her parents were just pretending to accept her. They were just waiting for the right moment to throw her out of their lives. Simon had never loved her. He only put up with her because he needed her to take care of him. Her friends never liked her. Most of her night was like that. But Simon wasn't doing much better.