Eight days, that's how long it'd been since Matt had killed his father but to the blonde it felt more like eight seconds. His mind was trapped in his memory of the horrible still stained his fingertips, the sound of his fathers last breath lingered in his ears, he could feel the cold handle of the knife in his hand and see the light disappearing from his fathers eyes. His heart ached and his body no longer felt like it belonged to him, he didn't even recognise himself anymore, he'd truly lost everything.
Just like every other day shortly after waking up and getting changed he was led into a large canteen for breakfast, automatically he grabbed his food before sitting down at an empty table. He didn't take a single bite, he hadn't eaten anything since he'd arrived in the prison, in fact he could barely remember how to breathe. Once breakfast was over he was vaguely aware that he was being taken to a familiar small room. Over the past few days visits from sergeant Voight had been a regular occurrence, the detective had been attempting to question him about his father, but Matt hadn't uttered a word since his sisters visit; he had nothing to say. He was guilty and that was all that mattered to him.
As he stepped further inside the room surprise washed over him, Voight was stood in the corner of the room which wasn't unusual, but what had shocked Matt was the two boys sat at the table. He couldn't believe they were there, especially given the fact they hated each other. He wondered for a second if his mind had finally snapped and he was starting to see things.
"Hey Matt" greeted Jay as he offered Matt a small smile, but the blonde simply glared. It didn't matter to Matt if they were a hallucination or not, he didn't want them there.
"What are they doing here?" Matt asked turning towards Voight ignoring the two boys staring at him hopefully. He doubted they really wanted to be there. He hadn't spoken to Kelly since their fight and Jay only ever looked out for him out of pity.
"They care about you Matt" replied Voight. The detective didn't seem bothered by Matt's standoffish nature, after the past week he'd grown used to it. Matt could tell by the way the corners of the detectives mouth quirked that he was relieved to finally hear his voice again. Matt would never understand why the man cared so much.
"Since when" scoffed Matt, he wasn't in the mood for their pity. He wanted to be left alone, he was too tired to listen their fake concern.
"Matt I'm sorry-" began Jay but he was abruptly cut off by an annoyed Matt.
"I don't need your pity or your guilt, I don't anything from you", Matts voice sounded tired and any attempts to sound angry quickly failed. He was slowly shutting down, with every day that passed it became harder to function, he doubted he'd last another week.
"Come on Matt you've got nothing to lose just sit down" instructed Voight, the boy looked at him him a sullen expression before dropping down in the empty chair.
"How are you Matt?" Asked Jay with a friendly smile. Both Matt and Kelly shot him an incredulous look.
"Right, stupid question" admitted Jay sheepishly. Before the boy had chance to speak again a thought popped into his head. He looked at Jay a hopeful expression as he struggled to contain his sudden burst of faith.
"Have you heard from my mum". Matt regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, identical expressions of pity appeared on his friends face and Matt felt his heart shatter. He should've known, she didn't care about him anymore. As a tense silence descended on them Matt's thoughts became unbearable, it was like someone was screaming inside of his head. How could he have been so stupid? Of course his mother had left now she finally had the chance, she'd been dreaming of her escape for years but for some reason Matt had always believed she'd take him with her.
"She's gone isn't she" whispered Matt when both Jay and Kelly gave him a dejected look. He already knew the answer but he needed to hear the words.
"Yeah, I don't think she's coming back Matty" admitted Jay softly.
"God everything's so messed up".
"Matt it's going to be ok" assured Jay lamely Matt could tell Jay didn't believe his own words. His mother was gone, his sister had left too, and his dad. His dad was dead. He'd killed the one person Matt knew would have never abandoned him. Matt had wished for years the older man would disappear but his father had assured him he'd always be there, unlike his father. A large wave of guilt surged inside Matt's chest.
"I didn't mean to kill him, I swear", he didn't know why but it was important to him that they knew he never planned it.
"We know Matt, and the jury will see it that way too" cut in Voight startling Matt, in his upset he had forgotten about the man's presence. Before Matt had chance to argue Jay spoke up again, it wasn't lost on Matt that Kelly was yet to say anything. Matt didn't understand why he'd bothered to come.
"You'll be out of here soon Matt".
"What's the point, there's nothing left for me back home, hell I don't have a home anymore". His house had never been a place of comfort but at least he had somewhere he belonged.
"Come on Matt, you cant give up now"
"I can't do this anymore" his voice shook and eyes began to sting with unshod tears. He started to stand up when Kelly reached out across the table placing a hand softly on his arm.
"Please Matty don't give up, I cant loose another friend".
"You've got to get him out of there" pleaded Kelly as soon as they reached Hanks car. Hank scrubbed a hand across his face. It had filled his heart with agony when they had to leave Matt behind in that horrible place. He would never understand how Nancy Casey could walk out on her son. Matt reminded him so much of Justin especially his loyalty and love for his mother. But that only deepened his hate towards Nancy. Voight's little boy was currently faced with losing his own mother, but Camilla was fighting with every fibre of body to be there for her, while Nancy Casey had abandoned the son without a second thought, the very son who only ever wanted to protect her. Nancy wasn't coming back meaning Hank had to find someone else and soon. He had one idea left, he'd been reluctant to use it but he had well and truly ran out of other options.
"There's one more person I can try".
A little while later Hank found himself parking outside a cozy house thankfully not too far from where Jay lived. After dropping the two somber boys off at home the car had felt too quiet, he knew he should've been going home but the longer he drove the more his need to help Matt took over. He'd planned to leave this until the next day so he could get home in time to see Justin before he went to bed, but right now Matt needed him more. Hank took one last deep breath before jumping out of his car and starting up the brick path. The garden was overgrown and the house was silent, it was nothing like the lively welcoming home Hank had first visited over a decade ago. But he guessed a lot of things had changed. A tight know was forming in his stomach. This was his last chance at helping Matt, he didn't know what else to do and he certainly didn't think Matt could last another week in juvie. It wasn't the other inmates Hank was worried about it was the demons inside Matt's head, he didn't think the young blonde could hand them on his own for much longer. Not long after knocking the door he heard footsteps approaching. The sergeant smiled when a tired looking woman answered the door, her expression was one of shock as her eyes settled on the man in front of her.
"Hi Trudy, how are you doing?" He greeted calmly but he knew she would instantly see through his calm facade. Hank normally visited her once a month, him showing up unannounced two weeks after his last visit was a clear sign something was wrong.
"What do you need Hank?" She asked immediately. As Hank looked at the bags underneath her eyes he wondered if he was making mistake, maybe Trudy wasn't ready. Before he could change his mind he remembered how broken Matt had seemed earlier, the boy didn't need to be taken in by Mary Poppins he just needed someone to get him out of prison.
"There's a boy who-" but Hank was cut off by a frown appearing on Trudy's face as she began shaking her head.
"No Hank, I don't do that anymore" she declared in a firm voice as a steely look appeared on her face.
"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't desperate" pleaded Hank. He sympathised with the woman and her reasons for refusing, but Matt needed her.
"I can't I'm sorry " she sighed as she looked at Hank with eyes full of pain and grief. Tentatively Hank placed an arm her shoulder, he understood her heart was still broken and he wished he could take her pain away. She'd confided in him a few months ago that she couldn't take another child into her house, she couldn't risk feeling the pain of loosing someone again, not after Nadia. But Hank hoped hearing Matt's story would change her mind, he knew Trudy and he had faith that she'd want to help the teen.
"Please, just take him for one week then I can move him somewhere else" pleaded Hank causing Trudy to still.
"What changes in a week?" she asked intrigued. Hank felt relief wash over him at the shift in Trudy's demeanour, he had a feeling he was close to getting through to her.
"He's awaiting sentencing, his mother took off so he's being held in juvie until then. I can scrape together the money for bail but there's nowhere for him to go even if I do get him out" explained Hank. He hoped that would persuade her, One week meant she wouldn't end up getting attached, she wouldn't end up getting hurt again. She could offer the boy a place to stay and then in seven days he'd be out of her life, another foster family would be able to take him in once he was cleared of charges. Hank's heart thumped in his chest as he waited for a reply, just as he was beginning to lose hope a spark appeared in her eyes.
"Give me a day to sort out the spare bedroom",
"Thank you Trudy".
It's just one week Trudy reminded herself as she watched Hank's car disappear into the distance. The detective had given her the full run down on Matt and her heart ached for the boy. She couldn't let him spend any longer locked up despite her original reluctance. When she lost Nadia her heart had been completely ripped out, she hadn't thought she'd ever look after another child again but Hank was right Matt was desperate. After all it was only for a week, how attached could you get to a person after only seven days?
