Using "Jaskier" instead of "Dandelion" b/c I just can't take the name "Dandelion" seriously I'm sorry.
00
Imagine a world where soulmarks exist. While not exactly rare, they're still fairly uncommon.
Little Jaskier's soulmark is on the inside crook of his elbow. The face of a fierce silver wolf. For as unrealistic and stylized as it is, it's still undeniably a wolf. His parents sneer at it. The servants and teachers are all uncomfortable when they see it. Little Jaskier, though? Oh how he loves it. He doesn't know what it is, doesn't know what it means, doesn't know its significance. But he loves it nonetheless.
Jaskier's only five years old when he learns what a Witcher is. He's only five years old when he's taught to fear Witchers.
Jaskier's twelve and he's being held down as he begs and pleads and screams. He screams as the other boys bring a knife to his soulmark, laughing all the while. Because, what soulmate could a monster have than another monster?
Jaskier's twelve when he makes the connection between his soulmark and Witchers.
He runs away less than a week later, wound still fresh, and ends up somewhere outside Oxenfurt. He decides to stay there, study there. The injury scars. He keeps it covered at all times with black cloth. Sometimes, it's so tight it hurts. He never shows anyone his mark ever again.
00
Jaskier's twenty-three when he meets Geralt, and he immediately recognizes the medallion. It's the spitting image of what his soulmark looked like. He feels some residual anxiety from meeting a Witcher, but has learned humans can be just as monstrous as they claim Witchers to be. The black strip of cloth on his arm is proof enough.
So he takes a gamble and follows Geralt. And he continues to follow Geralt for years to come. He learns everything he was taught was a lie (something he's suspected since the moment that knife touched his mark). He makes it his goal to change the world's mind about Witchers. And if he hopes, deep down, that if he continues to follow Geralt he'll meet his soulmate? Well, that's his secret fantasy.
00
Years pass and eventually Geralt invites him up to Kaer Morhen for the winter. Jaskier says yes in a heartbeat. He's as giddy as he is nervous and babbles the whole trip up.
When they get there, Eskel's the one to greet them at the gate, not that Jaskier notices. He's too busy still babbling nervously about nothing at all and removing his packs from his horse. He struggles to hold everything as he goes over to the two, intent on introducing himself to this new witcher. Except when he finally looks at Eskel, his breath catches and he drops everything he's holding. He can do nothing but stare, pale and shaky, at the scarred face in front of him.
He doesn't register how the man shifts so he stands with his scars less on display. He doesn't register Geralt's defensive and angry tone. He doesn't register the third, angry, man who threatens him for making his brother uncomfortable in his own home. All Jaskier can think about is the shape of those scars.
Lambert's outright hostile to him, not that Jaskier blames him. Geralt's also cagey and defensive. Even Vesemir, despite keeping the peace between the wolves and the bard, makes his disappointment of Jaskier clear.
It takes another two weeks before Jaskier manages to catch Eskel alone and apologizes. He wants to explain himself, but every time he tries, his throat tightens and the words die on his lips. So instead, he works to befriend Eskel in earnest.
The first time Eskel smiles at him, really smiles at him (an entire month later), Jaskier feels like the wind's been knocked out of him. The way Eskel's eyes crinkle at the corners, the way his lips curl awkwardly, the way his whole demeanor seems to light up. It's breathtakingly beautiful. He can't keep the dopey smile off his own face the whole day.
Eskel smiles more after that, and it seems to be enough for the others. Lambert's no longer actively hostile and Geralt's back to himself. Vesemir no longer looks at Jaskier with disappointment either. And if Jaskier scratches at the crook of his arm, that's no ones business but his own.
Until, one night when Jaskier has long since stumbled off to bed, Lambert asks. It's just the three of them, Lambert, Geralt, and Eskel, still drinking in the kitchen.
"So what's," Lambert pauses to hiccup, "what's with the bard's arm?" He asks.
"Hmm?" Geralt grunts squinting at the cards in his hand.
"That damn bandage of his," he continues motioning at the crook of his own elbow. "Wears it when he– when he fucken bathes too."
"Maybe it's covering a scar," Eskel offers, "or a weird birthmark."
Lambert scowls. "He's got plenty other scars."
Geralt snorts. "And weird birthmarks too," he adds thinking about the vaguely cock shaped birthmark Jaskier has on his shoulder.
Lambert grumbles as Geralt and Eskel continue playing their game of gwent.
"What if it's a soulmark?" He eventually asks.
"Humans don't present them as easily as we do," Eskel says at the same moment Geralt says:
"Not a chance."
The two stare at him, clearly wanting an explanation.
Geralt grumbles and downs what's left in his mug. "Jaskier's a hopeless romantic," he explains. "Wouldn't shut up for weeks when he saw mine. And then he wouldn't shut up for the better part of a godsdamned year after we finally met Yen," he pours himself another drink and downs that too with a shudder. "Believe me, if he had one, we'd know."
A few hours later, when Geralt's fighting to stay awake, Lambert slams his mug on the table. It startles Eskel and Geralt enough that they're more awake than they were an hour ago.
"I wanna know," Lambert growls.
"Then ask him," Eskel says.
Geralt yawns. "He always changes the subject."
Lambert nods vigorously as Eskel frowns. "Then leave it."
"But I wanna know!" Lambert complains.
Eskel gets up. "I'm not doing this," he groans. "I'm going to bed."
Lambert calls him a bitch as he leaves and grumbles into his drink. He and Geralt continue drinking for a few minutes before Lambert asks, "You grab him and I pull that damn cloth off?"
Geralt, too drunk and too tired to think about all the times Jaskier's flinched when grabbed by the elbow, nods.
It surprisingly takes them a few days to catch Jaskier alone. He's confused when Geralt grabs him but otherwise doesn't struggle. It's not until Lambert pulls at his sleeve that he panics.
Jaskier thrashes in their grip the moment he realizes what they're doing. Decades old panic grips him as he screams and begs for them not to hurt him.
Lambert and Geralt stay frozen as Jaskier fleas down the hall. Vesemir is there demanding to know what happened while Eskel runs past them to catch up with Jaskier. Lambert and Geralt can only stare in the direction Jaskier fled, the stench of his fear hangs heavy in the air around them.
Geralt knows what Jaskier's fear smells like. It's hard not to when Jaskier often gets too close to a monster, but he has never smelled of fear because of a Witcher before. Not when he'd first seen Eskel. Not when Lambert threatened to gut him right after. And not even when the snow had finally blocked off the path down the mountain and he was subsequently trapped in the keep with four unwelcoming witchers.
They don't see Jaskier for a solid week after that. They know he's still in the keep, they can smell him in the kitchen, in the baths, through the halls, but they don't actually see him. Lambert's on edge, quicker to anger, and Geralt's quieter, more prone to get lost in thought.
They both try to apologize, in their own way, standing outside Jaskier's door. Jaskier doesn't say anything, doesn't even make a sound. The only reason they know he's in there is because his heart's racing and he smells of anxiety and residual panic.
Eventually Eskel's able to coax him out and he tentatively resettles into the routine he's established for himself. Jaskier now has a constant underlying scent of anxiety to him. He smells of panic whenever someone focuses on his arm too long.
It all comes to a head one evening. Vesemir reaches to touch Jaskier's elbow to get his attention. Jaskier flinches so hard he nearly throws himself into the hearth they're sitting around. He doesn't smell of fear, but his panic is palpable. Vesemir apologizes but Jaskier assures him it's fine, even as Lambert storms away shouting abuse and Geralt slinks away miserably.
Eskel cracks that night. It's late, the others have all gone to their rooms in their attempts to avoid Jaskier, and it's just Eskel and Jaskier in the library. Jaskier's leaning against him, fighting to stay awake as Eskel simply enjoys his company.
"What…" Eskel asks tentatively. "Happened to your arm?"
Jaskier tenses against him, heart rate picking up as his hand goes to cover the spot. He sits up slowly, stiffly, and Eskel immediately kicks himself. "Sorry," he says quickly, "I shouldn't have asked."
But Jaskier shakes his head. "No it's okay," he says weakly. "It's stupid really. It happened so long ago, almost thirty years," he laughs shakily, voice impossibly quiet. "But I guess I still get scared someone's gonna finish carving off my soulmark at times."
Eskel feels like he's been punched in the throat. Soulmarks are special. They're Destiny's will. All Witchers have soulmarks. Something about the trails make them emerge, almost like Destiny herself is desperately trying to preserve their humanity. Eskel knows his own soulmark all too well. Four little yellow flowers floating down a stream painted on his ribs. At times, if he just focuses on the general shape, they look like music notes. He knows the mark ties him to Jaskier. It's why Jaskier's initial reaction to him hurt so much.
"I'm sorry," Eskel says lamely, because what else can he say? He could demand the name of the people that hurt Jaskier, but that won't repair the damage. He could go after Geralt and Lambert again for their stupid stunt, but they're suffering enough as it is and Jaskier's doesn't really hold it against them.
Jaskier barely shakes his head. "Don't be. I've… actually wanted to show it to you for some time," he admits quietly. His hands shake as he rolls up his tunic sleeve.
Eskel catches his wrist, stills the movement. "Stop," he breathes. "You don't have to."
Jaskier leans towards him, his forehead coming to rest against Eskel's. "Please," he whispers.
Eskel reluctantly lets go. He watches as Jaskier halting works the black cloth off. There's red marks across Jaskier's skin where the edge of the cloth dug in too tightly. But Eskel's breath and attention is immediately stolen by the mark. He feels fury and an unimaginable sadness wash over him in equal measures.
It looks exactly like the wolf school medallion. Or it would were it not for the angry scars distorting the right side of its face.
Eskel runs a thumb over it before he even realizes what he's doing. Jaskier shivers at the touch and Eskel can smell the tears the bard is desperately trying to hold back. "I'm sorry," Jaskier whispers, voice thick with emotion. "I didn't mean to upset you when I saw you. It's just…"
"The scars," Eskel murmurs. "They're identical." He has a sick feeling that Jaskier's mark was defiled the same day his face was slashed.
Jaskier explains himself fully that night, as he cries in Eskel's arms. It feels strange to finally show his mark again after almost thirty years. He's not sure if he's scared or relieved or if its even good or bad. It just is.
The following morning, he's understandably exhausted and spends breakfast tucked against Eskel's side. Lambert and Geralt get to the kitchen and try to leave before the even enter it. Jaskier reeks of tears and misery and Eskel. Eskel asks them to at least stay for breakfast. Lambert still wants to run but seeing as how Geralt pitifully sits down, he refuses to be the only one that runs and sits down too. Breakfast is awkward with how exhausted Jaskier looks and smells, they're both happy to go off and do their chores for once.
Jaskier spends most of the morning sleeping in Eskel's room. When he emerges for dinner, it's almost like nothing's happened. He's back to his loud and carefree self. The smell of anxiety is almost unnoticeable now. Vesemir claps him on the shoulder and Geralt's less quiet.
Lambert's still unsettled, though, still easy to anger and prone to snapping. He doesn't believe the bard's act for a second. That level of fear can't just be forgiven that easily. It has nothing to do with the fact that it was his plan that caused that reaction and made his brothers upset.
His brothers and Vesemir tell him the bard's fine. Even Jaskier himself assures him that it's okay. He doesn't believe it for a second. No amount of chattering with Geralt, or helping Vesemir in the library, or spending nights with Eskel will convince him.
But maybe seeing how Jaskier lets Eskel settle a hand over his arm helps. Seeing how Jaskier smiles all shy and happy when it happens helps. Seeing how Eskel returns the looks helps. Seeing how Eskel doesn't shy away when Jaskier touches his scars helps.
Maybe seeing and smelling how happy the two are helps ease the guilt. Because what else could be under that black cloth than a scarred over soulmark?
