Caution: This entire series heavily revolves around characters being OOC and mass vituperation. You have been warned.

I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog, but I do own the OCs that I name in Simply Stupid unless someone wants more characters involved other than the main cast.

Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Heliopolis, Sol Kingdom, Mobius...

"*BOOM! BOOM!* What is going on, General?!" the princess cried out as she took cover from multiple energy blasts. She is a cat from a royal lineage with special powers... But whoever was attacking Heliopolis, the capital city of the tropical Sol Kingdom, meant to destroy that lineage and possibly take over the Sol Kingdom.

"We have no time to explain! Someone is using a robot army to attack us! We need to take you somewhere safe outside of the Sol Kingdom's reach!" the general ushered the princess back into her room and had her pack her things. He then flipped over her bed, where a tunnel laid. "*groans* Go through here, Princess. We have a boat that can smuggle you to one of the provinces of the nearby Acorn Kingdom."

"Can't I help, General?" the general shook his head sadly. The princess packed her favorite purple and red tailcoat, her hair ring, her catnip doll, some shirts, undergarments and two pairs of shoes into a large backpack with important essentials and special relics.

"Sorry, Princess. This is worse than when my wife had a tantrum in my sister's wedding! And that was HORRIBLE!" the princess winced when she heard that. General Mung ushered her into a lone kayak, holding a plasmic SMG and a shield. "If I do not survive-"

"General-" she was scared.

"-if no-one survives-" Mung walked over to the mooring line, brandishing his SMG's bayonet like what he used to be as a butcher.

"General, please-"

"Do the best you can to live how you wish to be... *shlick!* Tell my son that I love him!" The blade disconnected the Princess's kayak to the mooring line.

"Wha- General! General!!!" the Princess's cries were in audible as Mung watched with remorse. The lone ape wiped a tear off his eyes as he heard metallic footsteps from behind. An egg-shaped robot raised a blaster at the base of his skull. With it were more of this model, giving menacing stares as they began forming a half-circle around the two.

"General Mung Kong. Under the order of Dr. Eggman, your penalty for aiding the renegade Princess is death by PINGAS Blaster." Mung grimaced as he raised his shield and blocked the blaster's muzzle with it.

"*growls* An honorable fate I shall have then." Mung then began thrashing and blasting the robots. He was slowly overcome by the amount of robots that were entering.

Outside, Heliopolis burned. Smoke drifted to the sky as the Princess drifted on the water on her little kayak. A massive ship laid siege on her city, firing missiles of all kinds. Seeing all of this caused the young princess to weep: She lost her home in two hours...

"*sniff* Maybe this will make me feel better... *plop!* I love listening to the Sonic Underground..." Putting on a pair of headphones, the Princess tried to cheer herself up with a song written and sung by a certain blue hedgehog. "*hums before dancing...* Aw yeah! Rolling around at the speed of sound! Got places to go, gotta- *nearly falls out of the kayak...* Ah! *splash!* O- Okay... N- Never d- Dance on a kayak! I- I guess I'll have to sing, hum and listen to music..."

Rowing away, the Princess couldn't help but look back. Now, she's just a cat... A homeless cat. "Worst day of my life..."

South Island, Acorn Kingdom, Mobius (the next day)...

(Play Sonic CD OST- You can do anything (Toot Toot Sonic Warrior)...)

"WHOO!!!" A naked blue Hedgehog that wore nothing but shoes, socks and gloves shouted out in glee as he ran across the shores of South Island. He ran across the hills, rolled on the loops, leapt into the air and used his hoverboard across the rivers. "Yeah!!!"

The hedgehog hopped off his hoverboard and pulled out a golden ring. He then inhaled and exhaled with content as he pulled out his audio recorder as well to document on his daily life (Documentations will be done through this: ["Hi!"]) once he is asked to make an autobiography about himself.

["Hmm... How can I say it this way? Hi! I am Maurice Needlemouse. Singer and the savior of the Acorn Kingdom against the tyranny of Dr. Ivo Robotnik. You may know me as Sonic the Hedgehog even though Sonic is my nickname and Hedgehog is literally the name of my Mobian species. My adoptive mother's name is Longclaw, and she took care of Manic, Sonia, Tails and I. Just so you know, she's doing okay. Sonia is taking care of her at Mobotropolis."]

Sonic muttered out the words "Bygone Village." and threw the ring. Showing Tails and his' home, Sonic walked through without a second thought.

(Swap with Sonic Colors OST- Tropical Resort Act 2...)

["I was given other monikers as well: Blue Blur, Blue Devil, Speed Demon, The Chaotic Daddy Long Schlong; The last one, I don't get why other than girls staring at my junk. Just because I don't wear pants does not mean that I don't want privacy, people! Some of the girls that are staring at me are in highschool. Highschool! I gotta end this audio log soon and understand this: Everyday, something in going on. What that means for us is that we might not be able to go back. It's kinda like what happened with ol' Robuttnik. Sally and I took down his empire, now we don't know when he is gonna come back. I'll introduce you to my household right now."]

Sonic's house is pretty simple: A white and blue house with two floors, an attic, a basement, a laundromat, two living rooms, six rooms, a front yard, a backyard to the beach, a garage, and a swimming pool because Tails wanted one when they first moved in. Where did they get the cash to get this place? As mentioned before, Sonic is a singer. He raised funds all over the planet to help aid the Acorn Kingdom in recovering. His success led to albums being made every year and helped lesser known band be known as well such as Mina and the Forget-me-knots.

"*sigh* It's good to be home. Pinwheel? Combusto? Fault? Nacho? Boat? Flaccid? Wall? Jester? Tial? Chewie~?" voices squeaked and chattered as nine wisps bumped into him and hugged him.

["These are my wisps. Pinwheel is pink n' spiky (she's almost like me without loving the delicacy known as chili dogs, but likes mint candy just like Tails.), Combusto is red and uh-"]

"Fμ(k 0ff, (#3w¡3!"

["I don't wanna translate that. He's too fiery! Anyways, Fault is orange and bumps onto everything even though he isn't blind, Nacho is well... He looks like a nacho and is Yellow (I also like to extend the A in his name into Naaacho~) Boat likes water even though he's green, Flaccid is cyan and everything about him is floppy like Cream's ears, Wall helps me make blue walls of light to prevent fangirls from breaking into the house and kidnapping me (He's a true blue!), Chewie is purple..."]

"*squeak* 00f!"

["And he's blind unlike Fault. Jester's white and has two curls on his head like a jester, and Tial..."]

"*gives adorable invisible puppy eyes...* (#¡ll¡ d0g (Chilli dog)?"

"*sigh* Okay Tial. I'll make some chilli dogs. I'm pretty hungry also." Sonic sighed and prepared chilli dogs for everyone. The wisps (minus Pinwheel) cheered as they then made a dancing circle above Sonic and the stove.

["The reason why I am talking about Tial last is because she is the youngest and most naive wisp that I have. She is a cyan wisp, but something made her into this weird violet-colored wisp. If she eats something to the point that she is satisfied, she will transform back into a cyan wisp. So she has planet-sized craving problems that mostly involves chilli dogs... Specifically the ones that I am eating. I put maggot powder on my chilli dogs! I need that for my dietary supplement! *lowers to a raspy voice* Ah need mah prowtain!"]

Tails walks in with a smirk on his face. The two-tailed kitsune walked into Tial attempting to eat Sonic's chilli dog. The wisp paused, giving Sonic time to grab his chilli dog before the violet wisp could swallow it hole.

"@w... (#¡ll¡ d0g..."

["Miles is my adopted brother. Longclaw found him during Robotnik's invasion of Mobotropolis. Manic and Sonia were hesitant at first, but he's the one of the best little brothers I can ever ask for. Smart, intelligent, good at music also, he was our autotune expert when we created our albums. One of his best qualities is that he can create new machines from the top of his head! That's it for today. Sonic out!"]

Tails smiled and waved as he picked up a chilli dog and gave a piece of mint candy to Pinwheel. "Hey, Sonic."

"*bites his chilli dog* Hey bud! What's the newest thing that you made today?"

"Let's go to the laundromat. That'll show you what I made!"

"Sounds good to me- *Tial grabs the hotdog of his chilli dog...* Tial! That is my chilli dog!" Sonic groaned out as he stared at the wisp.

Tial payed no heed as she deepthroated the thing until it was halfway in her mouth. She then took a bite and moaned happily. Her complexion changed from a violet blackhole head with tentacles to a cyan ball with a fin on her head and tentacles. Sonic had to turn away with disgust.

"Let's go to the laundromat while Tial finishes my food." Eating the bun and chilli sauce, Sonic walked of with Tails to the laundromat.

"So this machine that you meant, Tails? Sonic asked as he, Tails, and the wisps gathered around a mind reading-cloning machine in their laundromat.

" Yep! I call it a Species-Transfer! You go inside, select the species you want to be and that avatar will come out of the other pod with you controlling it! Quill, please!" Sonic pulled out one of his quills and watched his brother connect it to the Species-Transfer.

"Huh. I still wonder how is it that I am a walking battery."

"Thanks though!" grabbing Tial, who just finished eating and tossing her into a pod, Tails pressed a few buttons and ushered Sonic and the other, colorful wisps outside. "Sonic, close your eyes!"

"*wraps his eyes with a scarf...* Got it, bud!" the wisps stared at Tails as he went back into the laundromat. When they heard the pod's doors open, they were confused as to what a short cyan colored female hedgehog with a weird hairdo reminiscent of Metal Sonic. Oh great! An organic Metal Sonic recolor. All she wore was a black bodysuit and red shoes with white circles on them. Said cyan hedgehog opened her orange eyes and gave a mischievous grin to the still blindfolded Sonic the Hedgehog. The other nine wisps gave looks of horror the moment they saw that grin. Her...

Said hedgehog (Sonic), did not know what to do the moment Tails urged him to lift up his blindfold. He was cut off by a pair of soft blue lips locking with his mouth. Sonic opened his eyes and gave a goofy grin when he saw that a hedgehog the same age range as he is was doing it with him. Pulling her head back and ending it, the mysterious hedgehog gave a light chuckle and asked him in a soothing, but seductive voice...

"Did you like it? *winks*" Sonic could only. blush and stammer before going into a low voice reminiscent of Johnny Bravo to mask his excitement.

"Uh... I- I- Uh... *lowers voice* You look like you need a good time..." Jumping into Sonic's arms the two fell to the floor and started making out in front of the wisps. Tails walked out snickering before the two fell to the floor. He will go upstairs to his room and record it for safekeeping...

(Play Sonic the Hedgehog OST- Labyrinth Zone...)

The wisps were watching in disgust before Combusto couldn't take it anymore.

"T#¡$ ¡$ d¡$gμ$t¡ng (This is disgusting)! #0w c@n 0μГ 0wn3r t0l3Г@t3 t#¡$ (How can our owner tolerate this)?!" Pinwheel had to raise her tentacles and shake her head.

"#3 d0$n't kn0w (He doesn't know)!"

"#3Y (HEY)! T#@t's T¡@l (That's Tial)!!!" Fault stared at him with a dull look.

"#3 c@n't #3@Г y0μ, y0μ kn0w t#@t, Г¡g#t (He doesn't hear you, you know that, right)?"

"Fμ(K!!!" barging into the room and pried open all of the pods, he heard cries of disgust coming from the other wisps. When Sonic opened his eyes, he noticed that something round was on his mouth... Where his lips are. He removed the object from his lips and looked at what it was. He then stared in horror as he realized what happened. He felt his lips and touch the object he was kissing. Then again... and again...

"*giggles* $μГpГ¡$3 (Surprise)!"

"*hrk!* Tial?!" said Cyan wisp nodded.

"*nods...* #¡ (Hi)! ¡ l0v3d t#@t (I loved that)..." that mysterious hedgehog Sonic made out with... That was Tial! His pet for crying out loud!

The hedgehog then gently placed the wisp on the floor and felt queasy. Tial gave an excited stare as her owner stared at her awkwardly By excited, I mean excitada. Sonic then made an announcement to the wisps.

"Uh... Watch over the house, okay? Tial, we will have a talk later."

"Y3$s!/Y@y!/W00!/B00!/@lГ¡g#t!/By3! L0v3 y0μ, D@ddy!/T#@T'$ F@(K¡NG D¡$GU$T¡NG, T¡@L!!!" the other wisps backed away from their cyan sister as she focused only on Sonic. Said hedgehog gave a visible cringe as he calmly walked outside. He then broke out into a scream as he ran to the next zone.

"*girlish scream* AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

(End the song...)

Later that night...

"Tial, you have been a naughty girl!"

"μ#μ# (Uhuh)?"

"You are my pet, and I am your owner."

"Y33 (Yee)! Y0μ cμddl3 P¡nw#33l (You cuddle Pinwheel)!"

"I do not! I will get arrested for beastiality if I do that! Next thing we know, you some how get knocked up!" Sonic blanked at that moment.

Imagination land just like Mega Man: DeafMatch, yay...

IT HURTS SO BAD!!!" Hedgehog!Tial laid on a bed as she went into labor.

"Push harder, harder!" Sonic cried out nervously as he watched his pet give birth to his children.

"AHHH!!!" Dear god... I don't want to scar myself. Let's leave!

Back to reality...

"*Pbbbt!* Ew." Smelling manure from Big the Cat's backyard, Sonic returned to reality.

"O# (Oh)! $0 y0μ d0 cμddl3 P¡nw#33l (So you do cuddle Pinwheel)!"

"No, I don't. And I don't want you overeating!"

"W#y (Why)? ¡t #3lp$ m3 tμГn b@ck t0 n0Гm@l (It helps me turn back to normal)!"

"*groans* Fine, but don't blame me if you get used as a party balloon."

"0k@y..." Putting the sleepy wisp back into her bed, Sonic walked out and looked outside. There was a kayak for some reason.

"What's a kayak doing there?" He also noticed that there are glass prints that lead straight to the garage... THE GARAGE?! "Sugar Honey Ice Tea! I gotta check the garage!"

Grinding down the stairs quietly, Sonic felt something warm and can faintly hear a familiar song he and Sonia made a few years ago called Vela Nova. It must be from the kitchen. Picking up Tail's stun gun, he opted to inspect the kitchen.

With the intruder...

The lone survivor of Heliopolis was sitting there, partially shivering after reaching the shore. Putting on her headphones just to ignore the cold, she listened to her favorite song, Vela Nova, while setting her tail on fire. She grabbed a whole tuna, lit her claws, and cooked it in a few seconds.

She raised the seared tuna with her claws and beamed with pride. She finally made food for herself! "Yes! Tuna!" licking her lips, she was about to bite it when the door opened and a foot landed... on her tail.

"MEEEEEEOOOOOORRW!!!" the Cat jumped into the air and clung to the ceiling with her claws.

"AHHHH!!!" a certain blue hedgehog cried out in surprise before zapping her with a stun gun.

"*z-zap!* Meow! *thud!*" the cat then fell to the floor, motionless. She just got stunned by Sonic the Hedgehog!

Poking her with a stick, Sonic opted to carry her to the couch and check on her health. When he did as what he planned to do, the smoke detector blared.

"Oh... Sweet lord..." running back to the kitchen, Sonic made a wind vacuum while making as little sparks as possible. "*huff huff huff huff- fwoosh!* There we go! I should probably get a new table- *sniff sniff* maybe more tuna for Boat. That'll make him feel better!"

Later at midnight...

The cat woke up in a cold sweat as she looked around. Sonic was sitting next to her, watching TV.

"...'sup." she quickly rummaged around the living room before stopping at the kitchen. "I wouldn't go there if I were you."

"Why?"

"Your tail left scorch marks in my kitchen after your attempt to swallow one of my pet's food." Piecing things together, the cat scratched the back of her head and gave a nervous chuckle.

"Whoops... Sorry!" Changing the subject, Sonic tried to break the ice with music.

"So... Why did I hear my music being played before I stunned you? Sorry about that!"

"It's fine. What do you mean by 'your' music? I love listening to music made by the Sonic Underground."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Uh... No? You look familiar, but I don't know how."

"Name's Maurice. I think you may know me as Sonic the Hedgehog." Realizing where she is now, the cat got excited.

"S- Sonic the Hedgehog?!"

"Yep!"

Growing jittery with excitement, the cat shouted in happiness. "I am a big fan of you! You're a Freedom Fighter, a singer, you're extremely fast and- *blushes* I- uh... You aren't wearing any clothes."

"... Eh! It's fine."

"A- Anyways, my name is Blaze. I'm the Princess of the Sol Kingdom!"

"So why are you here?"

The now named Blaze paused and slowly teared up. "S- someone attacked the Sol Kingdom... I- I think I'm the only one that m- made it..."

Hugging the cat, Sonic decided to tell her something. "You know... You will be the third princess that I helped so far. It's not often that I can help rulers in any way possible."

"Princess Sally and someone else?"

"Yeah... I don't really want to talk about the second princess that I helped. She's a literal chicken."

"You mean Eli-"

"Please don't."

"Sorry!"

"It's alright. Anyways, you can live with Tails and I under one condition."

"What?" Blaze tilted her head in confusion.

"We talk to Princess Sally about sending a team of Freedom Fighters and I to the Sol Kingdom."

"Yes! Thank you so much!" seeing her backpack and opening it, she pulls out a spring-pad mask. "Can you sign this mask?"

"Eh. Why not? *signs it...* Wait..." Blaze looked at Sonic in confusion.

"What is it?"

"I think I recognize this mask from a few years ago when I visited your kingdom. It was when we sang Rush, Rush Adventure and Colors. The show was called-"

"Red myTail, Rail. That was the first time I watched you guys perform! It was AWESOME! The lights in Leaf Storm, Ska Cha Cha and Starlight Carnival, the fireworks in Plant Kingdom, and the solos of Tropical Resort, That was great!" Sonic was flattered and grasped the mask lightly

"Yeah... The reason I asked was because the owner of a mask like this called herself Spring-chan and gave cute poses to Manic and I. *yawns*" Blaze scratched her head in confusion. "I'm gonna go back to my room and sleep. Call for me if you need anything. Night Blaze!"

"Hmm... I don't know what to say. Thank you for offering to help, Sonic. Have some good sleep." the Hedgehog waved his hand and nodded. "Dang... Did I really do that with this?"

Tails heard the commotion and wrote something silly on his whiteboard, which was: SONIC RUSHeS AFTER SOME HOT FELINE PUSSY.

"Hehe-"

"Tails! You better be asleep right now!"

Chapter 1 end...

Well! I hope you guys like the inclusion of drama and other stuff in this chapter! As a custom in Simply Stupid, I add in references that are like puzzle games to some readers.:

1. Donkey Kong

2. Sonic Underground

3. Sonic's name being Maurice

4. Longclaw

5. 10 Wisps, just like in Sonic Colors (DS Wii)

6. Mega Man: DeafMatch

7. Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) and electric powers!

8. Elise from Sonic 06

9. This is AU, as mentioned before, has everything in real life crossing over with fiction. This incorporates elements from the following Sonic series:

a. SATam (Freedom Fighters and Mobotropolis)

b. Sonic Rush/Rush Adventure (The Sol Kingdom)c. Sonic Underground (Sonia and Manic)d. Sonic Colors (The wisps)e. Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) (Longclaw and chaos energy production)f. Sonic (06) (Soleanna)g. Sonic Riders (Just like Jet, Wave and Storm, the citizens of Soleanna are birds)e. Sonic Boom (Bygone Island is Bygone Village in South Island and the residents in the TV show live there as well

That's it for now, folks!