Just so you guys know, The Sol Kingdom is in the same dimension as Sonic's and is the reason why Blaze is so cheerful and upbeat. Her people accepts her abilities and treats her as their Sonic the Hedgehog without a hedgehog nor a band.
I don't own anyone. I own Simply Stupid, but not the characters or anything from real life. After all, this is Simply Stupid. Not Let's make: Corny Jokes by Mixing Family Guy and Sonic Boom Together!. It's not just Sonic, folks! So, without further ado and the request that no flames are posted...
Read, Review, and Enjoy!
Sonic's House...
["You know, Blaze is a welcoming part of the house now despite knowing her for a few days. Other than acting like a literal pet cat sometimes, Blaze sleeps in the basement since that's both empty AND is the least went to room in this house since I practice controlling my chaos energy in the attic. I'm gonna have to uh... do some stuff today."]
The sun rose up with a hideous face that had the 'Forever Alone' meme pasted on the surface. A loud yawn came from Sonic's room as said hedgehog cracked his back and knuckles. Speaking of knuckles, he, Tails, Sonia, Manic and Knuckles were going to hang out today.
"*sigh* The pros of adventure... The freedom to do whatever we want!" the renowned speedster rolled down the stair rails and landed like a trained parkour expert. Blaze sat on the couch like a house cat and held a sign with a 100/100. Sonic chuckled and walked to the door when Blaze mentioned something important.
"Don't forget your pants!" Sonic cringed at that.
"Ugh... You're not my girlfriend, Blaze! You, Amy, Sally, not even Sonia can control me!"
"I'll trick Pinwheel into getting Amy to stalk you again! Or give Flaccid some Root Beer! "
"That won't stop me!"
"HECK, MAYBE I'LL USE THE SPECIES-TRANSFER AND TURN INTO A BIRD TO PECK YOUR NUTS!"
"That's disgusting! Fine! I'll put on my skinny jeans and shades! Maybe even some sports tape, since I'm at it." Blaze gave a smug smirk as she watched Sonic run upstairs with chaos energy sparking on the floor with lights flickering. She must have annoyed him at that last part.
"That was a low blow, Blaze. You went from 'Fire Cat' to 'Flame Kitten'." Sonic gave an annoyed sigh as he stomped down and crossed his arms in annoyance.
The lilac cat chuckled. "You of all people should remember to not be sour!"
"Don't quote me!" he gave an exasperated sigh. "Tails and I will be back... Unless you want to come with us in public."
Blaze gave a nervous look and shook her head in defeat. What if the attackers of the Sol Kingdom set their sights on Bygone Village?
"As much as I want to meet your siblings and friend, I am really scared about placing everyone in danger." seeing the look and nodding in agreement, Sonic grabbed an old dress that Amy left by accident. He then grabbed the shoes Tial wore when she used the Species-Transfer. Setting them down next to her, he gave a sly grin.
"Amy never wanted this dress and Tial wore these shoes the day you broke in."
"So what?"
"You don't have to go as 'Blaze the Cat'..."
"Aw! You made a nickname for me!"
"*Pfft!* Anyways, you can use the Species-Transfer and turn into something when we go out. You can be a-"
"Just to mess with you, I'll be a chicken." Blaze interjected with a look of interest. She then broke into a mock-squawk and folded her arms. "Cluck-uck-uck-uck-uck! Mm! Seeds and corn! Cluck-uck-uck-uck-succ!"
"Dang... That's the most racist thing I ever heard that came from a you, Blaze! The last time I saw a princess go that low, she (Sally) called Knuckles 'No-nipple Seven-wiener'!"
"Hah!" the lilac cat looked down and played with her tail with a somber look. "Jokes aside, I don't want to go out as a different species. I can use the mask, dress and shoes, but that's all I will use."
"Fair enough, I guess."
Tails walked down wearing orange shorts and brown goggles. Seeing Sonic in wearing his clothes with sports tape on his hands and feet, the kitsune shook his head in amusement. After Vanilla accidentally called the cops on Sonic for public nudity, the judge placed Sonic on parole... Which was just having Sonic wear clothes without a parole officer because of how fast he is.
"Are we going out for Extreme Gear riding again?" Sonic nodded while Blaze shook her head in fear.
"I think Blaze needs a taste of Green Hover- *knock knock knock!* They're here!" Blaze sighed in relief and as she grabbed the clothes and went to change. Before she went in through, Sonic grabbed her and dragged to the machine. "Oh no you don't!"
Outside...
["So, my siblings and Knipples the Enchiladder over there were waiting for me to open the door. Apparently, Mighty, Ray, Amy and Cream were there also."]
"Maaaaan! Sonic is taking longer than usual!" Manic puffed out. Sonia, Knuckles and Ray nodded.
["Sonia and Manic Needlemouse are my twin siblings. While I was out every night fighting Robotnik, they helped calm everyone with songs inside of Knothole's bunker and travelled with Tails and I when we fought Ro-fat-prick."]
"C'mon, Manic, he and Tails are probably feeding their wisps again." Sonia replied. All Knuckles did was eat a cold-cut sandwich with a heavy dose of mustard and mayonnaise. (AN: While I like mustard, and not really like mayo, just imagine that Knuckles has mustard and mayo on his mouth.
"*gulp* Definitely true, Sonia. *slurlurlurlurlurp!*"
Amy looked at the door and fumbled with her Piko Piko hammer. "When will he and Tails be out? I want to ask him something."
["Tails and I met Knuckle the Echidna after searching for Chaos Emeralds for the Freedom Fighters. I like to mess with him, he likes to mess with me, and we both like to use our Extreme Gears. Amy Rose? I uh... She's cool, I guess. I think she likes me, but she's 15. I help in paying for her tuition with the cash I make as a singer after the local orphanage couldn't afford it."]
"If you ask if Sonic is still single, Amy, we told you once, we told you twice, and told you thrice... Yes, he is single and no, you can't date him because you are 15 and he is 20. Also, our mom thinks you are an underaged skank." Sonia muttered out darkly all of a sudden. The pink hedgie scooted next to Ray and Cream for comfort.
"Huh. I think you broke her again, Sonia." Mighty huffed out.
"Whoosh. It could have been wors- *bonk!* Ow!" Ray rubbed the back of his head after Amy lightly tapped the surface of her hammer to his head.
["Mighty the Armadillo was a fellow Freedom Fighter like us, but he had an accident in the middle of the war that gave him nasty migraines in battle. Ray is a Flying Squirrel, but he isn't Sally's cousin, and he was one of our scouts. Tails and I met him and Mighty during one of Sally's debriefs. Cream's adorable for a kid that is almost 13. Still can't believe her mother called the cops on me by accident though."]
"Mr. Mighty, what do you mean by breaking her?" the armadillo nodded as he grabbed a stick.
"How can I say it? You see this stick?"
"Yes?"
"This is Amy's confidence. Now, Ray?" said flying squirrel turned to his pal.
"Yeah Mighty?" Mighty patted his armored back.
"Can you hit my back with this stick I'm holding?"
"Sure!"
"So Cream, my back is Sonic's family and what they think of Amy. Hit it- *THWAK!* AHHHHH!"
"Sorry Mighty! Your back was so round, the stick hit your arse!" Ray profusely apologized.
"That's okay... Ow... Let's try again! *crack-ack!* See, Cream? Sonic's family doesn't really like Amy so much that it ruins her confidence. Ugh... I think I have splinters on my butt now." Cream giggled a little before they all focused on the door.
Then, it finally opened! *creak!* Sonic and Tails were dressed up and ready to go. What confused the seven was that there is a masked lilac bird in Amy's clothes. Amy and Cream were shocked, Knuckles, Mighty and Ray held in their laughter and Sonia and Manic gave an amused stare.
["Yeah... Forgive me for doing this guys, since I turned the princess of the Sol Kingdom into a pigeon of all mobians. May Chaos save us all!"]
"... Ha! I knew you were into interspecies, but this takes the cake!" Manic laughed out all of a sudden. "Did you order a call-girl, bro? Or rather... Did you go to 'Hooter's'?"
Blaze gave a stink-eye under her mask, nearly setting herself on fire. Sonic noticed this and pulled a feather from her tail feathers.
"*pluck!* Ow!"
"Sorry. Guys, this is Blaze. She's a bird just like Sonia, Manic and I's mom." Amy looked at Blaze and squinted her eyes. Blaze removed the mask and gave a nervous smile. Being a mobian bird is hard! You can't breathe like other people, you can't fly, your beak is in the way, etc.
Amy then tapped her foot on the ground, blinking a few times before bringing lifting her hammer into the air casually. "Yep! I can kill you!"
"W- wait W- what?!" Blaze stepped back a little in confusion.
"I'll rip your friggin' throat out and wear it like a fracking necktie!"
"AMY!" Sonia shouted out as Sonic and Mighty separated the two from trying to kill each other.
"Do you like eating rocks?" Thinking that this was a joke, Blaze pretended to comply.
"Uh... Yes?"
"I'll stuff you with rocks and drop you into the ocean for seeing someone I like, Twinkle Twinkle!"
"LET ME AT HER!" Blaze nearly ignited herself again, but was distracted by something. "I'M GONNA- Oh hey! A worm!"
She was distracted by the disgusting wriggler so much, she began pecking and running all over the ground for it. Everyone stared in disgust and Ray scooted to Sonic. All Knuckles and Mighty did was grabbing out more sandwiches and eating them. Amy however, was not amused. She turned to the Blue Blur and asked him a simple question.
"Who is this cobswallow, Sonic?" All Sonic did was pat her back and mutter.
"We'll talk about this later, Ames." The ten left, socializing despite the fact that Bygone Village's local yandere just attempted to use her hammer on some older girl she just met. We'll stay here at the house and see what's going on with the wisps because why not? It may be important! Because we will be with the wisps and the wisps only... We will hear them in English!
["So we left the wisps behind... Why do I have a bad feeling that something will happen because of them?"]
With the wisps...
Combusto floated around as he and the other wisps went to the laundromat room. They were looking at the pods and looking only.
After Tial was used to try out the Species-Transfer, Tails decided that he should make a smaller version of the machine in the form of a helmet and wristwatch.
"*click!* So this is what they were working on?" Flaccid muttered out as he slapped the box containing the items open. The watch looked like it has seen better days, but the helmet was missing. "This looks like crap!"
"But they tested it out already! That's just a normal watch. See?" All of the wisps heard Wall's comment and noticed that Blaze was leaning against the the garage door on a stool with both the helmet and the actual watch equipped.
"*snore* I'm not a cobswallow, you pink skank... *snore* Eat a chode, you disturbing 15 year-old wench... *snore*"
Fault stared at Wall before giving a stupid comment in a voice reminiscent of a hillbilly from the south. "Duz dat gib uz pupcorn?"
"Nah!" Pinwheel and Combusto groaned out loud, slamming their faces into the wall. At least Wall confirmed that it doesn't give popcorn.
"What if we use the pod-thing and see what it can do?" Boat asked out loud.
Pinwheel then gave an invisible smirk as she then went into the pod and activated it... *ding!* Out came a naked pink cat.
"... Ew, pubes!"Jester giggled out before being slapped in the face by said cat.
"It's me! Pinwheel! This feel weird and does this tail make me look thi- *poof!* -ick?" Combusto opened the pod and watched the cat body explode without a mess.
Pinwheel rubbed her head and groaned. She got a headache from getting used to two eyes instead of one. "Jerk."
"Meh! I try. I guess I'll use this wolf option. *ding!*" Out came a red wolf. "*poof!* Ow! I'm seeing tripple!" This went on with Fault becoming an orange bird *poof!* and Nacho being a large yellow bear.
"Is there a t-shirt I can wear?" Nacho found one and grabbed some honey. "Ah... This feels nice!"
Boat rolled his eye and coughed or... wheezed? I don't know! "Okay, Winnie the Pooh, we get it. *poof!*" Tial grabbed the honey before it fell and tried her best not to eat it. ""My turn! Hehehehehe! *ding!* I'mma bird?! *poof!* Argh! My eye feels like it got squished!"
Then came Flaccid as a... gecko? "Hehehe! I am a leezord! *poof!*" Wall turned into a bear before exploding and Jester became a white rabbit.
"Hey look! I'm a rabbit!" Said rabbit began squatting with an accent mimicking a certain Bunnie Rabbot. "Oh golly! Ah be Bunion Wabbit! Ah suppoz sunthang real purty ez gunna happun hear!"
All of the wisps were laughing and taking turns (sans Chewie, who can't see and Tial, who began eating the honey straight from the jar.), but now we have to cut away from them and return to Sonic, Tails and Blaze...
["Anyways, back to us. We are gonna visit Sonia, Manic, Tails and I's adoptive mother."]
Needlemouse Residence (Sonia's house), Acorn Kingdom...
A lone purple and brown owl was watering some plants. Her long feathers lightly brushed the sunflowers and rare flora from one of two floating planets called as Little Planet. Planet Wisp is the other one, but wisps are just exotic pets. Almost like puffles and balloms, really.
["This is Longclaw, my family's adoptive mom. She's what? In her late 40's? She took care of Sonia, Manic and I ever since we were born. We moved to Mobotropolis when we were preteens and was roboticized during the war. We got her back to normal just like the other surviving victims. I don't know why, but whenever a girl is with me, she brings out a strange weapon that she calls a 'shotgun' and puts them at gunpoint, royalty or not. All I know is that she's pretty protective of us and that she loves us as if we really were her own kids. She's one of the reasons why the Sonic Underground cares about family above all else."]
Manic, Tails, Amy, Mighty, Ray, and Knuckles rode on their extreme gear to rest their feet while Sonia rode on her motorcycle and Sonic did what he does best: Running... With Blaze in his arms. When Longclaw noticed that a masked girl was in Sonic's arms, her face went from happy to downright sour!
"*screeech!* *pant pant pant* Hey mom! This is Tails and I's new friend, Blaze." Longclaw loosened up a bit before looking at Blaze.
"That's nice that you have a new friend, son, but *shk-chk!* GET OFF MY SON, COQUETTE!" her weapon of choice was drawn: A Luigi Franchi SPAS 12.
"Meow?" this made Longclaw look like she caught Sonia looking stuff up online.
The purple and brown owl stared at the masked bird in Sonic's arms. "Amazing!"
"What is it?" Sonic waited for his adoptive mother's answer.
"She's *BANG! SHK-CHK!* -ing RETARDED!" everyone jumped up from the blast coming from the smoking SPAS 12. "GET OFF MY SON, THOT!"
Blaze complied faster than you can recite Sonic's full name, Maurice Sonic Needlemouse. "Please don't shoot me! I just said that for no reason!"
"Hmm... I don't believe you. Take off your mask." Back at the house, the wisps were messing around until Chewie accidentally removed the Species-Transfer helmet from the bird's actual body...
"*poof!* O- Okay..." everyone was shocked while Sonic and Tails sweated a little. When Blaze took off her mask, her beak wasn't there, her feathers became hair, her hands regained their claws and her ears returned.
"DAAYUM! That's a hairy pussy-cat-" Blaze was going to slap Ray when she looked at her right arm- her feathers were gone and there was fur all over her arm like chickenpox. She's a cat again!
"Wha- Uh oh..." Longclaw cracked her knuckles and prepared to use the SPAS 12 as a bat. "Please don't hurt me! I DON'T WANNA DIE! *THWACK!* MREEEOOOOOWW! *thud!*"
Somewhere else in the world...
"The Sol Kingdom is destroyed. The Acorn Kingdom? I will have my revenge! Hohohohoho!!!" A voice cackled in the dark.
["I feel like something is bound to happen sooner or later... *sigh*
Chapter 2 end...
A cliffhanger?! Yeah... Don't worry about Blaze. She's not gonna die. It'd be too early! But who's voice was that? Here are the references:
1. Forever Alone
2. Extreme Gear riding
3. Sonia and Manic from Sonic Underground
4. Mighty and Ray
5. Amy and Sonic CD
6. Sonic 3 and Knuckles
7. And Knuckles
8. Snapcube's Sonic 06 dub (The 'Amy interrogates Elise' scene)
9. The avatar from Sonic Forces
10. Cobswallow: A word I created in Mega Man: DeafMatch Season 2, that has been a mystery to the students of Renaissance Arts Academy that means: "She who romantically (and successfully) steals a girl's male lover through any way possible." It also translates to the vulgar word 'cobslut' that I also created but recoined to make it a little more PG
11. Winnie the Pooh
12. Italy's infamously illegal Luigi Franchi SPAS 12 Shotgun that appeared in movies in the 80's 1st person shooters and Madness Combat
13. Begone THOT!
Heh! That's all, folks!
