Caution, lots of crude jokes ahead because 'why not?'. A hilarious, but serious OOC Sonic can be an entertaining Sonic most of the time. No flaming, please! I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog nor any other series that I implement inside of Simply Stupid- I mention them because I care about them.
Read, Review, and Enjoy!
Sonic's backyard/the beach...
"Okay, you guys! Welcome to Freedom Fighter training 101! For the first half of today, I will teach you guys the basics. Tails and Knuckles will take over the rest of the day with their own lessons. Got it?" Sonic called out like a drill sergeant as he grabbed some broken SWATbots from the Battle for Mobotropolis and strung them up like puppets. The wisps were in their Mobian forms with Blaze, prepping themselves. Blaze raised her hand. "Yeah, Blaze?"
"How will these training outfits help us?" the girls wore shirts and bicycle shorts while the guys wore tank-tops and gym shorts. The wisp-mobians wore armored backpacks that held their actual bodies, while Blaze had a backpack that held bricks. It was mildly unfair for the lilac cat.
"I think my shirt is ripping!" Chewie cried out, tugging her shirt every five seconds.
"Well, blame Nicole, Chewie, for being in the Itty Bitty Titty Committee!"
With Tails, Nicole, and Knuckles...
"Shame, Nicole! Shame!" Tails shook his head while Knuckles went into his tribe's signature pose and spat on the floor with a silly accent.
"You do not know da wae, Nicole!" this made the poor AI split into seven again, with most of the clones trying to comfort White Nicole for her poor choice of clothing. "Da Rookies are not happy."
"I didn't know that Ivory was 4 sizes bigger than me!" screamed White Nicole. Red Nicole stared at the beach with a bloody nose, aiming at Sonic with her tomato cannon MKI.
["Now, many may be wondering why the heck is Knuckles here. That's- huh... That was what I was wondering also at first. Basically, Tails called Knuckles last night if he wanted to join us in training some new recruits. Next thing I know, he came with some old Echidna training supplies, training books, and a whole bag of POW candy! He doesn't know that the wisps are the recruits for a reason: Their fake names are what Tails, Blaze, Nicole and I use as callsigns. If we trick Knuckles, then Sally won't think that this will be a scam. At least the POW candy helps me stay awake most of the time. They are pretty good!"]
Here's the problem with Nicole's fragment clones: They can see through each other's eyes without consent. So Green Nicole and White Nicole yelled at her in embarrassment, causing Tails and Knuckles to break out of character and roar out in laughter at the three pint-sized lynxes. "Nicole, stop looking at Sonic's butt!/What is wrong with you, Nicole!?" Sonic didn't hear that and popped a stick of POW gum into his mouth. He cringed when he read the used wrapper and disintegrated it with some chaos energy.
"Actually, POW gum tastes pretty good. The only flavor that makes me gag is the banana flavor... It doesn't even taste like a banana at all!"]
Back to Sonic...
"*ptoo! splat!* Ugh... I hate the banana flavor! OKAY SCRUBS I FOUND IN MY TOILET WHEN TAILS WAS JACKING OFF TO SEEDRIAN PORN! UNARMED COMBAT PRACTICE RIGHT NOW! THE SWATbots ARE YOUR PRACTICE DUMMIES!" the Blue Blur roared out like a drill sergeant, with everyone complying. Tails, had to deal with Knuckles and the mini-Nicoles laughing at him now. "RECRUITS, COUNT WITH ME DOUBLE TIME!"
(Play Sonic Forces OST- Park Avenue...)
"One two three- Punch! One two three- Punch! One two three- Punch! One two three- Kick!" Sonic called out as he and the others were honing their combat skills. This went on for 10 minutes until the Blue Blur barked out more orders. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES FROM THE BEACH TO THIS STAR POST! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" He then sent them running while Tails, the 7 Nicoles, and Knuckles fired ketchup and tomatoes at them from the attic. Out of all of the participants who ran from the rain of condiments, only Blaze, Nacho, and Wall were untouched. Combusto could have been considered untouched... but he chose to lick the ketchup droplets while constantly moving, still clean somehow.
"I LOVE KETCHUP!"
"SHUT UP, GADGET!" shouted Wall as he picked up a Cube Wispon and made a wall to give them cover from the onslaught. Grabbing the condiment licking wisp-wolf, Wall hurled him like a javelin with the Cube Wispon in Combusto's hands. The moment he landed, his body was enveloped by a massive holographic cube (plus, his head stuck out like a sore thumb).
"*KA-THWOMP!* Hey! I'm stuck in the cube!"
Cyan Nicole noticed this from the attic and gave a smug grin. She nudged Red Nicole, snickering. "Look at Combusto! When he opens his mouth, fire at him!"
Red Nicole complied as she fired a large tomato at the wisp-wolf's trap. "*POP!* Okay!"
"HELP! I'M STUCK IN THIS CU-" The fruit lodged between his jaws, jamming it tight. Poor Combusto was a roasted pig in this red-stained battlefield. "RMMF (OW)! RMMPH RMPFH (MY JAWS)!"
Blaze and the wisps hid behind the cube, with Pinwheel, Fault, Boat, Flaccid, Chewie, Jester, and Tial red with ketchup.
"How are we gonna get Combusto out?!" Fault cried out as he tried to pull the wisp-wolf out of the blue cube he made.
Flaccid took out a Drill Wispon and used it on the cube, breaking Combusto out. "He's out now!" the tomato in Combusto's mouth ruptured, covering the teal-ish-cyan bird in more sauce.
"*splurt!* Hmm... For a raw form of ketchup, tomatoes are pretty juicy!" everyone facepalmed at that. "No time for that, guys. CHARGE!"
All of the eleven ran as fast as they could, dodging as many tomatoes and ketchup bottles as they could. Sonic looked at the attic and gave them the signal for a big attack. The plan was that they send out a tsunami of hot sauce at them... With more tomatoes! At this point, Knuckles dragged up a massive pot and poured a single drop of hot sauce. The hot sauce began filling up the pot by itself as Knuckles did a ritual.
"Oh Sacred Pot of Plenty, I have come to request for more spices! Answer me and fill to the brim with your mighty power!" once the pot was filled to the brim, Knuckles went down the stairs to Sonic and knocked the pot over, aimed at the beach.
(Swap the song with Sonic Forces OST- Nowhere to Run(Prison Hall)...)
The hot sauce grew in size until it was two times bigger than Wall.
"Sweet merciful crap..." Blaze whispered out until she heard a cry from Fault.
"RUN!" the eleven FF recruits turned back, running from Knuckles' Hot Tsunami. They hopped over logs, dodged tomatoes that went through the Hot Tsunami, they even tried to make some cubes to take cover.
Without any options, they nearly gave up if it weren't for Chewie using her Hover Wispon to lift them up as fast as possible. The tsunami passed them, picking up excess ketchup, tomatoes, and debris that were scattered all over the place. Oddly enough, there were two tattered sets of clothing that was picked up also. Whose clothes were they?
"I'M NAKED!" Nacho shouted out, forcing everyone to look away from the wisp-bear.
"I BLAME NICOLE FOR PICKING MY CLOTHES!"
Distracted by the fact that her clothes ripped, Chewie caused everyone to fall not-so gracefully to the sand. Knuckles looked at them, wondering what is going to happen next. All of a sudden, a naked Nacho reverted back into a yellow wisp. This gave Tial an idea when she turned to the yellow wisp for a crazy plan. "Nacho! Are you okay?"
"Qμ¡t l00k¡ng 4t m3 l¡k3 y0μ #4v3 4n ¡d34 (Quit looking at me like you have an idea)!" the cyan wisp-hedgehog looked at him and shook her head.
"That's because I do! I'm gonna do what Sonic does with every wisp that joined him in his fight against Robotnik!" she then did the insane by absorbing Nacho. "I'm gonna make a distraction! While I am doing that, try getting to the porch as fast as you guys can! DRILL! *Badun- dun- dun-dun- dun...*" Tial drilled underground, trying to find Knuckles or Sonic, and begin her plan.
Blaze looked at the hole Tial made and nervously pushed a little bit of sand into it. She didn't know why, but she isn't really focusing on that because of Sonic... who started firing tomatoes from a mortar. The blue hedgehog was cut off by Tial, who popped out of the ground and pinned him down. Knuckles looked at the two in confusion... because of Tial straddling Sonic's chest like Amy on a body pillow. He was then being annoyed by Nacho, who popped out of Tial and pretended to jerk off. This gave time for everyone to make a run for it to the star post. Once again they ran, without any qualms as Tails and the Nicoles continued firing at them. Sonic lifted Tial and began firing tomatoes at her with his mortar. Just before the recruits could reach the star post, however... tragedy struck.
(Stop the song...)
Sonic took his focus off of the limping Tial and began hurling tomatoes and the incoming recruits. Not a single soul was spared from the Blue Blur's onslaught, being pelted only seven times if they were lucky. That was Combusto who was lucky. Wispon barriers didn't work either because of the tomatoes breaking through. Pinwheel, Wall, and Jester learned that the hard way. A red, sopping Blaze was about to reach the post, but took a tomato to the cheek, crumbling down to the floor. It didn't stop her though as she crawled to the post. With a tired moan, Blaze touched the top, ending the run. Sonic looked at Blaze with interest, nodding a little before raising his hand to signal everyone to stop what they were doing. The lilac cat had four words to say:
"*Spits at the floor...* Sonic, you are an 4$$#0l3!"
Later...
(Play Monkeys Spinning Monkeys by Kevin Macleod...)
"Hehehehehe... This is the best prank ever!" Tails chuckled as he and Knuckles used a radar to monitor the locations of each recruit. The two sent the guys to steal Sonic's recipe book, while the girls recreate one of Sonic's biggest fears of drowning in something wet.
"Hohoho~ I gotta hand it to you, Tails for sending the girls out to molest your brother! Hohoho~"
"Wanna know where I got the inspiration from, Knuckles?" the Echidna held in his laughter, took off his gloves, and propped up a camera.
"Where?"
"Sometimes, I hear loud noises coming from their room. I got the idea from the video I shown you guys with Sonic making out with Tial."
"Okay... Hm. Don't you think it's ironic that Breezie looks a lot like Tial after you threw her into the Species-Transfer, Tails?" Tails shook his head in an attempt to change the Echidna's mind. If Knuckles sees the resemblance, her cover may be blown. He'll have to talk to her about trying to pretend.
"Nope. The difference is that Breezie's a... She's basically a lucky gambler that likes to play with cards and give benefits. Tial on the other hand? *whistles* She likes to deepthroat chili dogs in front of Sonic, HARDCORE."
"*chuckles* Woooow! That's pretty messed up."
"Am I right? I wonder how are the girls doing since I sent them to do their dirtiest to Sonic. Dry humping, straddling, snu-snu, you name it!"
"Do you think Blaze is gonna join in?"
"Nope. She can be a closet pervert if she wants to, but I don't think she would like to harass her favorite singer for love or anything like that."
"*cough!* Amy- *cough!*" Tails shook his head at that.
"Amy's not THAT crazy."
"She threatened to dump Blaze into the ocean!"
In Tails' imagination...
Inside a Nintendo DS, Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood!Amy shoved a boulder into Sonic Rush!Blaze's mouth and used her Piko Piko Hammer to smack her into the sea.
"MMMMMMPH! *SPLASH!*" SR!Blaze struggled to get up, but couldn't.
(Swap with I Wanna Breathe from Sonic Rush...)
5
SR!Blaze began dragging herself to the nearest bubble.
4
She found one, but she couldn't reach it!
3
"MMPFH (NO)!"
2
SR!Blaze found another bubble and tried to reach for it also. It failed.
1
She jumped up and grabbed it, but accidentally popped it with her claws.
0
(End of the song...)
SR!Blaze didn't feel a thing, thinking that she got oxygen. she was about to run to the surface *Duhdun!, but she fell out of the screen with a game over! SC:DB!Amy huffed a little and walked off.
Out of the imagination land right now...
(Resume the Monkeys Spinning Monkeys...)
"... Okay. She's a little crazy, but she's still our friend!"
"Sticks is more tolerable than Amy sometimes!"
"Sonic's at her house right now. I sent the girls there."
(Stop the song...)
At Stick's house...
Sonic was out, watching The Terminator at a badger's house somewhere else in Bygone Village. With him was Cream, Cream's BF Cheese, Amy, Nicole, Mighty, Ray, and Sticks, a Freedom Fighter who enlisted a year before the War for Mobotropolis ended in the rubble of Knothole. Sticks laid on top of the couch with her elbow next to Sonic's seat, Amy sat with Sonic on the couch, casually leaning on the poor sap, who minded all of that as he watched, Nicole was in sleep mode in Sonic's handheld, Cream sat on the floor, looking at the antics and jokes on the cyborg assassin, and Mighty and Ray were on two of Sticks' bean bag chairs as they chatted with Amy. The three were chatting about robots and what they would have done to Robotnik if Sonic never took down his Death Egg, while Sonic, Cream, and Sticks were hypnotized by the portrayal of the future and the awesome fights against the T-800. Cheese, however, made chaingun noises while pretending to hold an assault rifle.
["The badger behind me is Sticks. She's pretty interesting and a li'l kooky, if I say so myself. I found her when she was 10, scavenging the remains of Knothole after I blew up Robotnik's Death Egg the first time. She was also the newest member of the Freedom Fighters under my command... *sigh* Everyone was relieved when Robotnik disappeared."]
"C'mon Reese! Show that bucket o' bolts not to mess with the present!" Sticks roared out when they neared the climax of the film. "NO! TAKE HIM DOWN, CONNOR!" Cream decided to join in on the fun and made a voice similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger the moment the T-800 was crushed.
"Mhm! *lowers voice* You are terminated!" this garnered some clapping from Mighty and Ray.
"S for effort!" Cream bowed and plopped onto the floor, smiling to herself. Sonic gave a soft smile and cautiously pushed Amy away. The only reason he even allowed the pink hedgehog to lean on him was that he didn't want her to hug him tight.
Sonic removed the disc from the DVD player and placed in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. After he did that, Nicole woke up and caused the handheld to vibrate. The owner pulled out the handheld and raised an eyebrow.
"What happened, Nicole?" the lynx appeared in the front screen as a chibi and pulled out a radar. She wore a purple robe that had the Sonic Underground and Freedom Fighter insignias on each shoulder, purple slippers, and white glasses.
"*yawn* Can you go to the kitchen? This is pretty important."
"'Kay then. Sticks?" the aforementioned orange badger looked up with a confused face.
"Yeah?"
"Can I go to the kitchen?
"Eh! Why not? You can go to the kitchen." the blue hedgehog left released Nicole once they were alone...
(Play Fluffing a Duck by Kevin Macleod...)
Who was still in chibi form, donning a swimsuit, white goggles, and a duckie tube for no reason. Sonic's face gave a look of displeasure when he saw the lynx in that form. Even more when Nicole turned on the sink's faucet and climbed into it.
"..." Nicole raised her eyebrow and pulled out her tail, playing with it with an innocent smile.
"..." now she let go of her tail, paddling her way to Sonic and leaned to the counter's surface.
(Stop the song...)
"That was nice..." Sonic facepalmed after Nicole said those words.
"Just tell me why you wanted to talk to me when I could have been watching a movie." Nicole nodded, going into her usual form and clothing. She swiped the handheld from Sonic's hands and pointed at two bushes outside the window. Four pairs of eyes were sticking out, eyeing the two before disappearing.
"Stalkers." Sonic shrugged and closed the curtains. He then heard three girls pushing someone out of the bushes and opened the curtains to see what happened... Nothing at all.
"Weird."
"I know, right? From the retinal scans I did there, I am pretty sure your rookies are here for something."
"I wonder what for though..."
With those two bushes...
"What the heck is wrong with you three?!" Blaze hissed out silently. She, an annoyed Pinwheel, a slightly bored Chewie, and a smirking Tial were hiding in the bushes. They tried to use the lilac cat as bait for Sonic.
"Sonic will calm down if we go here! I also don't want to be in my body because wisps have to wear a fricking collar outside their owner's homes!"
"Why not Pinwheel then?!"
"I made the plan. I am not going to be the bait here!"
"We were supposed to lure him to the house by making him freak out!"
"Fine! Kinky or not kinky?!"
"Screw you! I'm gonna wait at the fences until you three have an idea!" Blaze emerged from the bushes and marched off; Chewie shook her head and walked out of the two bushes as well, pulling twigs out of her clothes like a maniac. The ivory wisp-porcupine walked up to the door and knocked...
With Sticks...
"*BADADADADA! BOOM* Please make it please make it please make it- *ding dong!* Comi-!"
"Let me do it, Sticks." Mighty interrupted, getting up and heading to the front door. When Mighty opened the front door, his nose erupted in blood when he laid eyes on who was in the front: a short, beautiful (to him at least), ivory colored porcupine with knockers two times bigger than his fists. The armadillo began stuttering like an idiot because of that. "*SPPPLURT- T!* H- h- h- h- hi th- th- th- there! H- How may I help you?"
"I'm looking for Sonic the Hedgehog. He called me for something important if you get what I mean."
"O- okay! 'tiddiesgoboingboing! tiddiesgoboingboing!' N- No problem a- at all!" Chewie smirked and tapped her foot to the ground.
"You sure?"
At the backyard (Sonic's POV)...
Sweet merciful crap! I heard what Chewie said and crept to the backyard, with Nicole returning to my handheld silently. We were barely past the patio when I heard Mighty shout.
"SONIC THE CHAOS FRACKING HEDGEHOG! GET YOUR ATHLETE 4$$ OVER HERE NOW! YOU GOT A GIRL THAT WANTS YOU TO SMASH!" h- holy cow... That's just WRONG! I was about to jump over the fence when I heard a familiar voice. I then heard Chewie thank Mighty, running off somewhere from the noises I heard at the front.
"GET HIM!" I think that was Pinwheel.
Nobody's POV...
"Oh... $#¡t!" Sonic cussed out in horror.
Nicole vibrated and shouted from the handheld. "RUN, B¡T(#! RUN!" Sonic was about to run when he felt two cat claws try to pull his pants down. Pinwheel pinned him down, struggling to get his pants off.
"AHHHHH!" Sonic began spewing energy as he began crawling. He went from cobalt to navy, then back to cobalt again. He then felt two sets of arms keep him down as he tried to look up, seeing Pinwheel straddle his back, Tial pretending to hump his right arm, and Chewie glomped his left like a drunk sorority member. "LET ME GO!"
Chewie gave a soft,but barely audible whisper. "We kept hearing girls call you Daddy Long-Schlong. Let's test that out, shall we? You're gonna get laid whether you like it or not!"Sonic gulped and tried to wriggle out as fast as he could. With Chewie being a porcupine at this moment...
"Oh, crap... Chewie's influenced by the porcupine mating cycle!" the porcupine leaned closer to Sonic's ears and gave a twisted coo in delight.
"No, I'm not!Hehehehehe...I'm just following orders with benefits!" the victim's ears went flaccid at those words.
"STIIIIICKS! THREE GIRLS ARE GONNA RAPE ME! AHHHHH!" Sonic attempted to worm his way out once more, successfully escaping the trio's clutches and staring at the three in disgust. When Sonic got out of their clutches, the three fell to the floor wondering how did Sonic squeeze his way out. "WHAT THE FRICKING HELL ARE YOU THREE THINKING?!"
"BIRDS AND THE BEES! BIRDS AND THE BEES! BIRDS AND THE BEES! BIRDS AND THE BEES!" Sonic pinched his nose in disappointment. He jumped over the fence, only to see Blaze tap her foot impatiently, waiting for something. Sonic tackled her and shouted out her name, snapping the lilac cat from her thoughts!
"BLAZE!"
"AGH!"
"I need you to distract them from raping me!" Blaze tilted her head and hummed in confusion... even though she knows what they are doing.
"Mmm... Why should I?"
"Because you have fire powers and that means you can make a cloud of smoke! Please make smoke for me!"
"Hmm... Okay!" Blaze lit up her tail and attempted to make a smoke cloud with some leaves. Instead of a smoke cloud, she made smoke RINGS! Pinwheel, Chewie, and Tial climbed over the fence while Blaze held Sonic's bicep to stop him from running. "Hey, you're here!"
Sonic's eyes widened, hoping that it wasn't a trick. He blinked, realizing that Blaze really did trick him! "Oh... Fμ(k..."
"Now..." the four girls surrounded Sonic and backed him up into the fence. "Any last words?"
"Y- Yes! I have a few..."
"Go on!"
"*inhales and exhales intensely... cough cough!* My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't! My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun! *ZWI- BOOM!*" Sonic did a peel-out that broke through the semi-circle, making a sonic boom the moment he was a block away from them.
Blaze gave the three wisp-mobians a weird face and held in her laughter that. That failed and she erupted with a hearty laugh. "HAHAHA! You three were so kinky, you scared him off!"
"Hey! Be in our position as wisps, and you'd need something to keep yourself occupied!" Tial muttered out while breaking out of character.
"*cough!* Fat 4$$. *cough!*" Pinwheel muttered out. Behind her, Chewie also coughed... but at Pinwheel.
"*cough!* Bimbo. *cough!*" Pinwheel heard that.
"*huff!* Hypocri-!" The two were about to get into a fight when Blaze and Tial reached into the two's backpacks and turned them back into wisps. "0w! W#4t w4$ t#4t f0Г (What was that for)?!"
"We gotta catch up to Sonic, remember?!" the pink wisp closed her eye... and slapped herself in the face.
"*slap!* F¡n3. ¡'m g0nn4 b3 ¡ns¡d3 y0μ t#0μg#." Blaze questioned what Pinwheel said until... she absorbed the wisp entirely.
"G- Gah! Where are you?!" the lilac cat patted parts of her body cluelessly, wondering what happened to Pinwheel. Tial shook her head. She found out how by observing Sonic's utilization of fellow wisps of different colors. Also, she felt her heart race when she used Nacho.
"She isn't gonna respond. Say 'Spikes' and then you will use her powers. After that, she'll come out."
"O- Okay... Spikes!"
With Sonic...
(Play Jaunty Gumption by Kevin Macleod...)
A quick blur of light frantically sped through the streets like a lunatic. Sonic was running for his life. He began slowing down a little to cause fewer casualties. When he was slow enough to move at a brisk pace, Sonic watched the energy surrounding him dissipate into nothing. He felt the wind flow past his quills, admiring the scenery as he went. He picked up his handheld and turned on its map.
["So I used my chaos energy to go faster, big deal- Wait, that is a big deal! F4#(K! What I meant to say is this: My body excretes so much chaos energy that it gives an adrenaline boost and a force field for me. The sparks that surrounded me are triggered by focus and stress, alternating in color when I use a white wisp to boost my homing attack speed and acceleration rate."]
"Ugh... Why were they harassing me, Nicole?!" Nicole appeared on the screen, leaning on the map with a confused shrug.
"I don't know."
"Really?" she shrugged again.
"I don't know." Sonic veered to the right, at Meh Burger to hide.
"Okay then."
(Stop the song...)
["Ugh... Meh Burger. I'd prefer my homemade chili dogs over those burgers, but it's hard work growing chili peppers every day. Heck, Combusto and Tial got sick from their food one time!"]
Sonic went to a clothing store and bought a green pair of shades, a red pair of sneakers with white and green trim, a brown backpack, and a new pair of pants the same color as his fur. He put on the new clothes, messed up his quills, and put his shoes and pants into the new backpack. Eating a burger to try keeping his mind off of what just happened, Sonic relaxed at a table. He noticed that something pink was moving in pretty fast. To shield himself and anyone nearby, the Blue Blur threw one of his quills into a trashcan, turning it into a shock elemental proximity mine. It blew up when the hot pink blur zipped by, forcing it to climb up a watchtower's roof. Some of the bystanders watched but ultimately decided that they were better off minding their own business.
With that pink blur...
The pink blur was a small pink ball of spikes that transformed into Blaze, once she reached the highest point of the watchtower. The cat looked at the scenery and focused on the main square on the other side of the village. Realizing that he wasn't where she was looking, Blaze turned around and looked: "Purple chimp, purple bandicoot, purple cat, grape soda, cheeseburger, Sonic lounging around, Green crocodile, yellow bee, purple chameleon- Sonic?!"
Pinwheel popped out of Blaze through the back of her head and pointed at Sonic. "H0w 4Г3 w3 g0nn4 g3t #¡m w#3n t#¡s ¡s 4 pμbl¡c 4Г34 (How are we gonna get him when this place is a public area)?"
"I do not know..." Sighing to herself, Blaze snapped her fingers. She realized that she didn't understand the wisp at all. "...Wait... What did you say again? Did you say 'Rweee oo eee ooo eew'?"
"*slap* d4mm¡t..." Blaze does not know the language Wisps speak, unlike Sonic and Tails.
Back to Sonic...
"Uh... They noticed me already!"
"What are you gonna do now?" quipped Nicole. Sonic shuddered and rocked the chair back and forth in fear.
"Be strong! Be strong! Be strong! Be stro-"
"Sonic?"
"Ah! *Pbbbbbbbbbt!* Ah! *Pbbbbbbbbt!* Ah! *Pbbbbbbbt!*"
"Are you alri-"
"EEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!/ CHILLI!/ CHEELLI! CHIL-E! CHILLY!" Sonic paused when he heard those words and listened to what the words were. "Show us the secrets to Sonic's sacred chili recipe!" was that Boat holding his recipe manual with Fault, Flaccid, and Jester? It was. They were holding a small journal that held multiple recipes that Sonic can cook. What Sonic didn't know was that it was all Knuckles and Tails' idea.
["FAULT?! BOAT?! FLACCID?! JESTER?! YOU FOUR ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOUR NECKS! They have my recipe book! It has secret ingredients and stuff like that! That is SO not cool!"]
"Oh... Looks like I have some business right now!" groaned the Blue Blur. Seconds before Boat attempted to open the journal, a bright blue streak interrupted him by swapping the book with a Meh Burger menu book.
Boat looked down and whined. "I lost it!" Sonic placed the journal into his Warp Ring pouch and continued eating his burger slowly, giving the four a dark look underneath his green shades. "W- Wait... Where's Gadget (Combusto), Vinnie (Nacho), and Stone (Wall)?
With Tails, Knuckles, Combusto, Nacho, Wall, Chewie, and Tial...
"*groans* I look like a barbarian." Wall grumbled quietly. After Blaze and Pinwheel shot off to somewhere, the Chewie and Tial called in quits and head back to Sonic's house. Combusto, Nacho, and Wall were lounging around lazily with Tails and Knuckles watching some John Wick.
"Hey, I have the Madness Series on DVD, you know! We can watch that while we wait for everyone to get here." Tails clamored until Combusto raised his hand. "Yes C- Gadget?"
"What is Madness about?" the kitsune placed in Madness Combat X: Abrogation and grinned.
"Are you a fan of fast, and brutal action?"
"Yes."
"Do you like guns?"
With Sonic...
(Play Rock and Loaded by Locknar...)
Sonic lounged about with a sour face, watching his surroundings until he decided to leave an afterimage and lock the guys into Blaze's room by luring them into there. As for the girls, they're gonna receive the same treatment as the guys. That's equality for ya! Boat continued to look around until the light blue streak struck again, swiftly making a Warp Ring portal underneath his feet and trapping him.
"OWA- *thud!*" one down... The next victim was Flaccid. The wisp-bird was dropkicked through a ring portal similar to Boat's.
"Auaua- *thud!* Ow..." at this point, Fault, Jester, Pinwheel, and Blaze realized what he was doing: picking them off one by one and locking them into the basement. Arming themselves, Jester and Fault equipped their Spike and Laser Wispons and prepped for a hard fight. Sonic made a whirlwind that lifted the two off the ground slightly but failed to catch them with the Warp Rings, with the two landing on the rooftops. Blaze and Pinwheel followed the two in hopes of getting away from Sonic. When they met up, Pinwheel went gone into a cheetah form to increase her speed. Blaze looked behind and saw Sonic using his chaos energy to boost himself. Everyone in the village went into random buildings to avoid getting hit by debris.
What are we gonna do?!" Fault cried out, he narrowly avoided a brick that hit a helmet that was on display. He picked it up and strapped it to his head in hopes that it can block any more debris from hitting him.
Blaze gave a shout that answered his cry. "We have to find a way to overpower him!" the orange wisp-eagle ducked from a lightbulb that flew over his head. He spotted the local park's bridge and broke off from the formation. They looked at him in concern.
"I think I have an idea!" Fault ignored the looks as he noticed Sonic charging at him like a maniac. He jumped over the bridge and landed into the river. What he didn't account was that Sonic jumped in as well, running on the water. The orange wisp-eagle submerged himself but felt something violently drag him across the river. "BLBLBLBLBLBL BBBBBLLE (OH NO)! AHHHH!" Blaze, Pinwheel, and Jester watched in horror as Sonic summoned a ring portal and threw him in as well. The Blue Blur looked at the three and gave a dark grin the moment he ran up the walls.
"You three better start explaining why you are harassing and stealing my stuff or else I'm gonna strap all of you onto the couch when we get back!" this made the three sweat, wondering how they can get away with this. That didn't matter, because the ground beneath them had a Warp ring that they fell into. "*fwoom!* Hehe... *frowns...* Too late."
["THAT is why you don't go round two with the blue!"]
Somewhere else...
"I will avenge you, Snively..."
Chapter 5 end...
References:
1. Heavy Breathing intensifies
2. Itty bitty titty committee...Believe it or not, this was made by a half-white half-chinese freshman student that I hang out with. She made it up out of the blue after my brother was teasing one of our other friends and I asked her if I could use it some time with her permission (Yes, I'm a highschool senior that asked for some inspiration prior to the quarantine)
3. Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood (Amy's 3d model and POW Gum)
4. A Nintendo DS (All I have is a Lite and a DSi...)
5. Cream's Arnold Schwarzenegger accent from the Sonic Zombies series by Balena Productions
6. Sticks the Badger and Sonic Boom
7. Reverse rape attempt from Mega Man: DeafMatch without the Sweet Home, Alabama
8. Boosting from Sonic Rush
9. So far, very few mobians know how to understand wisps
10. Sonic's shoes and shades from Sonic Riders
11. The Chaotix
12. In the Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) film, Sonic was struggling to stay in Tom's truck when he and said cop were right next toThe Piston Pit...
"Stay strong! Stay strong!"
Also the scene when Tom picks up Sonic after knocking down Dr. Robotnik/Eggman
"... [R]ound two with the blue!"
13. Madness Combat and Madness: Project Nexus
14. Gender equality in the eyes of Kazuma from KonoSuba
15. Snively
16. Acting like a Drill Sergeant
17. Seedrians from Sonic X
18. John Wick
That's all, folks!
