The Gotcha Lizard
By: AliasCWN
Hitch carried the box carefully through the market and down the street toward his barracks. Every little bit he would set the box on the ground and lift the lid to peer inside. Then he would pick the box up and start off again.
A group of soldiers standing along the side of the street watched him do this several times. As he drew near, they stepped out into the street to block his path.
"What's in the box?" one of them asked as Hitch was forced to stop.
"Nothing," Hitch answered.
"Come on, there's something in there, you keep looking at it."
Hitch bit his lip. "It's a Gotcha lizard. I found it over by the supply building."
"Gotcha lizard?" The soldier twisted to look at his friends but they all shook their heads. None of them had ever heard of a Gotcha lizard. "What do they do?"
"Nothing special," Hitch answered.
"Then what are you doing with it?"
"Taking it back to my room," Hitch replied.
"Why?"
Hitch shrugged again. "You hardly ever see them and I wanted to take it back to show my buddy."
"What's it look like?"
Hitch smiled. "Nothing special. Kind of plain looking."
"Aw, come on! Let us take a look."
"You'll let it out," Hitch protested. "I don't want it to get away."
"We want to see it," Another of the soldiers insisted. "Come on, hand over the box."
Hitch twisted the box away. "No, it's mine!"
"Come on, all we want to do is look at it."
Hitch hesitated. "All you want to do is look?"
"That's all." The soldier crowded closer to the box.
"Well, all right," the blond finally agreed. "But you won't get mad if you don't like it, will you?" Hitch put the box on the top of a low fence. "You'll have to look through this knothole right here. If you lift the lid, it might get out." Hitch looked around at the men crowding him. "You're not going to get mad if you don't see it, will you?"
"How big is it?"
"Not very big."
"We won't get mad."
"Promise?"
"We promise," the leader insisted. "Let me see it."
"Okay," Hitch nodded, "but remember, you wanted to see it."
The leader of the group eyed Hitch suspiciously before he looked back at the box. "This hole, right here?"
"Yeah," Hitch answered, "You have to bend down and put your eye right up to the hole. It's dark in there so you'll have to let your eyes adjust. Like I said, it's small."
Hitch stepped back to allow the other soldier room to bend over and put his eye to the hole. The soldier maneuvered around until his eye was even with the hole. To keep his balance the soldier put both hands on his knees while he peered inside. Hitch took another step back.
"Why do they call it a Gotcha lizard?" Another of the soldiers asked.
"Because of this." Hitch lifted his foot and placed it on the bending soldier's posterior. When he shoved, the soldier lost his balance and fell sideways onto the ground. "Gotcha." Hitch grinned.
The soldier got to his feet as Hitch backed away with his hands in the air. "Why you…." the soldier growled.
"You promised you wouldn't get mad," Hitch protested.
The soldier charged, but his forward motion came to an abrupt halt as several of his friends grabbed his arms.
"We did promise," one of them managed to get out despite still laughing at his friend.
"We should have seen that coming," another laughed.
"Gotcha lizard, yeah, we should have seen it coming all right," another agreed.
"No hard feelings?" Hitch held out his hand in a gesture of peace.
"Can we borrow your box?"
"You can have it after I'm done with it," Hitch offered.
"What are you going to do with it?"
The blond grinned. "I'm taking it back to my quarters to show it to my buddy."
"That's all?"
"Yeah," Hitch answered. "I got it special to show Tully."
"How about letting us go along? After you show it to your buddy maybe we can take it and show it to some of ours."
"Sure," Hitch agreed, "as long as you don't warn Tully."
"Promise," the leader of the group agreed.
As a group they continued down the street. Hitch continued to carry the box as if it contained something fragile. To help with the deception the other soldiers formed a circle around Hitch so that no one could bump the box. They drew quite a bit of attention as they made their way to the barracks building.
"This is going to be fun," the leader of the group laughed. "There must be lots of guys on the base that we can get."
"Just be careful who you get," Hitch warned. "Some people don't have much of a sense of humor."
"You got me."
"Yeah, but I've seen you around. I didn't know you, but you seemed like you knew how to have a good time. You guys are always goofing around. I figured I wasn't taking too big a chance." Hitch shrugged. "Turns out I was right."
"We could have kicked your butt."
"Yeah," Hitch admitted, and then he started to grin, "but the looks on your faces may have made it all worthwhile."
The leader started to say something but his friends slapped him on the back and started laughing all over again. A few seconds went by before he joined them.
"Okay, okay, I admit it, it was funny. You really got me."
"That's why it's called a Gotcha lizard," Hitch grinned.
"Do you think your friend will fall for it?"
Hitch smiled. "I don't know, but I'm going to try. Tully has a pretty good sense of humor. He enjoys a good prank as much as anyone I know."
"Maybe we ought to wait in the hall, just in case," one of the soldiers suggested.
"That's not a bad idea," their leader agreed.
"Suit yourself," Hitch answered. "Just don't do anything to warn him. Tully's smart, he'll figure it out if we're not careful."
"He's your buddy, we'll let you do all the talking."
"How are we going to explain why we're there?" another one asked. Everyone looked at Hitch.
"I'll tell him you guys found the lizard and I brought it here to show him. I'll just say you're waiting to get your lizard back."
Their leader began to grin. "That ought to work. We are going to take the box after he looks in it."
"It's settled then," the other soldier decided, "that's what we'll do."
"I'll show it to Tully and then you guys can have the box. Just don't tell anybody where you got it," Hitch insisted. "I don't want anybody coming after me for giving it to you."
"Or giving us the idea," one of the men laughed.
"That either," Hitch agreed. "This is my barracks." Hitch turned to enter the building. "Give me room so I don't drop the box." He led the way up the stairs to the room he shared with Tully. One of the soldiers reached around him to open the door since his hands were full. The soldiers crowded around the open doorway as Hitch walked into the room.
"Hey Hitch, what's up?" Tully greeted Hitch and looked past him to the group of soldiers standing in the hall.
"These guys caught a lizard," Hitch answered. "You're always saying how you want to learn more about the desert, so I borrowed it so I could show it to you."
Tully nodded slowly as Hitch crossed the room with the box. "Is it in there?"
"Yeah, we didn't want it to get away. How did you know?" Hitch tried to sound surprised.
"Lucky guess," Tully answered. "Since nobody seems to be holding a lizard," Tully shrugged, "I figured it had to be in that box."
"Your buddy said you were smart," the leader of the group told Tully.
"What kind of lizard did you find?" Tully rose from his bunk and walked toward the box.
"It's a Gotcha lizard," Hitch answered, "I hear they're pretty rare."
"Rare, huh?"
"Yeah," Hitch nodded solemnly, "you have to see it to believe it Tully."
Tully nodded as he looked at the box Hitch still held. "I don't remember ever seeing one."
Hitch gingerly placed the box on his bed and turned it until he was satisfied with its position. "They're quick Tully, so we can't take the lid off to look at it."
"Why not?"
"It might get away," Hitch explained. "These guys want it after you look at it, so we can't let it get away."
"I see," Tully nodded. "So how am I going to look at it?"
"There's a hole in the side of the box. You just have to bend down and peek through the hole," Hitch explained. "See, right here?"
Tully nodded again. "It won't bite, will it?"
"No," Hitch shook his head, "they don't bite."
"Are you sure?" Tully asked. He eyed the box as if he thought Hitch might be wrong.
"I'm sure," the blond nodded.
"Okay, if you're sure." Tully bent over to look into the box.
Hitch took a step back and lifted his foot to kick Tully. Tully twisted to the side and kicked Hitch's supporting leg out from under him. The blond tumbled to the floor with a surprised yelp.
Tully reached up and pulled the matchstick from his mouth. "Gotcha."
The soldiers in the hall howled with laughter. They laughed so hard that none of them could say a word as Hitch got to his feet and brushed himself off.
Tully watched with a grin as Hitch got to his feet and picked up the box.
Hitch grinned. "How'd you know?"
"A Gotcha lizard," Tully scoffed. "Really? That's the best you could come up with?"
Hitch grinned again. "It worked before."
"On who?"
Hitch looked toward the laughing soldiers in the hall.
"He sure got you," the leader of the group gasped between fits of laughter.
"Yeah, he did," Hitch laughed. He handed the box to the other soldier. "Here, you can have it, I'm done with it. Just remember, you didn't get it from me."
"Yeah, yeah, sure. You were right, you know."
Hitch didn't have to ask what the other man was talking about, he already knew.
"Your buddy is smart." The soldier laughed again and walked away with his friends close behind.
"You should have kept it and tried it out on Sarge," Tully suggested.
"Are you crazy?" Hitch demanded. "Do you know what Sarge would do to me if I tried that on him?"
Tully shrugged. "Now that would have been funny."
