El couldn't seem to wipe the undeniable smile that's been lingering on her lips since she left the grocery store.
And it was all because of him, because of Ben.
Her fingers were continuously tapping against the steering wheel and all that could be heard was El's tone deaf screeches echoing from her beaten-up car.
A silly love song was playing on her favourite radio station and for once she decided to go along with it, so that's exactly what she did.
Even as moments passed and more lyrics seemed to spill out of her lips, her mind effortlessly brought her back to him.
To Mike.
Her pulse began to fasten just by the sheer mention of his name. For weeks, she continued to ignore his frantic pleads over the phone, he called every single day and it infuriated her. It was like he was trying to prove a point, that she couldn't get rid of him even if she tried. She was stuck.
The car began to pick up speed and El noticed a tingly sensation swell within her chest. But this time it wasn't because of Mike, it was for someone else. The thought alone scared her, Mike was all she had ever known.
He was her first kiss.
Her first boyfriend.
The first person she ever whispered the words 'I love you' too.
And now, he was her soon to be ex husband and she couldn't help but feel like the same lost little girl she was when Mike found lurking behind the trees. She remembers being petrified beyond belief, her body shaking at an alarming rate and her breathing shortening as she heard more steps making there way towards her.
Piercing white flashes had invaded her vision and she bite back a gasp as her eyes began adjusting to the three young boys in front of her, holding flashlights. She remembers Dustin, with his toothless grin that still to this day seemed to brighten El's mood no matter what. Next was Lucas. His face had contorted to annoyance at the sight of her yet over the years she had seemed to grow on him.
Finally, she had met a pair of brown eyes against her own. His eyes had locked with hers frantically, searching for any sign of an answer as to why she was here. His hair had been drenched against his forehead, but El could still see the curls beginning to form. His hair matched his dark eyes, deep swirling piles of nothingness that made her numb. It was as if before they had met, they were just as alone and lost as each other.
She shook the thought out of her head as her tyres stopped at a halt.
El began clutching her hands into frantic, uncomfortable fits. Her lips had started to part, but no sounds seemed to emerge from them.
She needed a moment to breathe, to collect herself and her stupid, stupid emotions and remember that she couldn't afford to act this way. Not tonight at least, it was Joyce's annual Christmas dinner and she wouldn't allow herself to ruin it.
But what was Mikes car doing in her driveway?
As El attempted calming herself down but failing miserably, she quickly turned the engine off before shutting her car door with a loud thud. It was so alarmingly loud that the neighbours could've easily had heard it themselves.
"Sweetheart." Her heart had seemed to have stopped within this moment. Only one person in the entire world had ever called her by that name. She watched in a daze, as a pair of hands swiftly turned her rigid body to face theirs.
She knew that body, had felt that body a million times against her own.
"Mike." She breathed out, her heart feeling heavy all of a sudden. He still looked as breathtakingly beautiful as ever, and that alone seemed to infuriate her even more.
She wanted to laugh, wanted to scream, a thousand jumbled thought's were racing through her mind and seeing him like this in front of her wasn't helping El think clearly at all.
"What are you doing here?" She grounded out. El was already rambling, desperate to escape him, and he was studying her with an almost paralysing sadness on his unquestionably handsome face.
"I came to see you, I wanted to speak with you but you've been ignoring my calls for weeks." He murmured, his hands thrusted into his pockets, the sleeves of his pale grey shirt folded back over his forearms. His navy tie hung loosely around his sculpted neck, disappearing into the top of his wool vest.
"El, please talk to me. This is crazy! Can't you see what this is doing to me? What your actions have done to us?" His expression hadn't changed, but she saw hurt pooling in his eyes.
She wounded him.
"Do you really want to talk?" She whispers, her own breath wedged inside her throat. He touches her cheek with the tips of his fingers.
"I just can't stand to look at you, much less be in the same room as you." She pried his fingers off her cheeks suddenly. He wrinkled his nose at her choice of words, and it was utterly adorable.
And there you go falling into the same habit, same trap all over again. Just stop.
"You broke me. I lost a piece of myself the moment I found out you cheated. I'd never wish this pain on anyone, I feel myself breaking within every moment that I wish I was still sleeping beside you-" El calms her breathing again for what seemed the hundred time that day before continuing on, "Then I wake up every morning in my childhood bed and realise you were the one who drove me right back here."
His hard expression faltered and El nervously ran her tongue along the edge of her teeth.
"I'm so stupid," he muttered to himself so faintly that she wouldn't of been able to of heard him if she hadn't been across his lingering form. He began leaning forward, his breath hot and heavy fanning against El's stilled face as his lips edged its way to the shell of her ear. "It doesn't have to be this way El, let me take you home. I know I can fix this-"
El felt a small sad smile tilt up the corners of her mouth. Oh how wrong he was, so incredibly wrong.
"That's just it," She sucked in a deep breath, " I am home, and from this day forward my life is none of your concern. At least not anymore."
She saw his eyes narrow at her sudden abruptness, she then attempted in her hardest voice, "You need to leave."
"El, hurry up and get inside honey. I need your opinion on a few things," She quickly glances at Joyce. The anger had faded from Elevens eyes and were now filled with adoration as she watched Joyce lean against the front door, her arms crossed over her chest.
"I'm sorry Mrs Hooper, I was just leaving-"
"Nonsense, you'll be staying for dinner. And call me Joyce, there's no need for you to start calling me differently. You never have before."
El sighed in annoyance and threw her arm over her eyes. Silence reigned for a full minute, the only sounds left where the heavy breaths that were escaping both of there mouths. She caught her lower lip between her teeth, which had begun to tremble, El's voice was barely above a whisper, "I don't know if that's such a good idea."
El's heartbeat ripples inside her chest and then swoops through her whole body, feeling a tingly sensation, not at all the good kind.
This cannot be happening.
"I'd love to Joyce." He managed to squeak out, a warm smile had soon spread across his face as Mike began making three quick strides to the front door. Joyce returned his smile with a small pat on the back before her eyes were watching his retreating form head further into the house.
It was just El and Joyce now.
"Are you crazy? Why would you do that!" El said, her head jerking up to look into Joyce's as she frantically walked up the drive way.
"It's time, baby."
She remained silent. There was nothing left for her to say, loneliness swarmed around El as she watched Mike from the front window. Will had embraced Mike in a warm hug and she wondered bitterly if he'd still be doing that once he found out what Mike had done. Frantic thought's filled her mind, they were desperate and wanted to be heard by somebody. Anybody.
El watched as Joyce took a deep shuddering breath and her eyebrows pulled in together. "Since Hopper is out of town, I've decided to take matters into my own hands and invite Mike to dinner. After all, he's been like a son to me. I'm sure he has a lot to fill me in on." She said in a soft voice.
"About his infidelities on his wife, I'm sure."
"Oh, for the love of—" Mum managed to bite her tongue a split second before she snapped, "Speak to the boy! I've watched you for weeks looking broken and nows your chance for answers. Do it for yourself at least."
Tears started to swell behind El's eyes as she continued peering at Mike through the window.
God, He was tall.
Tall and broad-shouldered but slender, with breathtakingly clear skin. His hair, black and so utterly tempting that El forced herself not to run her hands through his untamed tresses.
And those lips, laced with red and held every meaningful goddamn word that he said to her, all were lies. Every last one of them.
He was everything perfection stood for and he knew it, the whole world knew it and she had once thought it too.
"You need to forgive him, I'm right about this. If you can't love him, then forgive him before thing's get worse. The only good thing I saw in that boy was his love for you, it was undying and I envied it. Even when you were a little girl, he was always there somehow. It was as almost he was meant to be in your life, El."
El finally latched back onto Joyce's gaze, She tried to catch her breath, She failed. Fuck.
She sighs in frustration before she eases off the door and over to El. Her hands started grasping El's shoulders as she looked at her with such intensity that El's mouth stayed wide open the entire time she spoke. "He's had time to reflect and heal since you've been gone but you haven't. Your still trapped with all that hatred. Hear what he has to say, for both your sakes. You need to forgive him, you need to forgive yourself. Then you can properly move on, without him."
Without him. I've been without him for the last few months, I can do it for many more. El tells herself. She can, can't she?
Joyce looked at El strangely before it finally dawned on her, "Oh no, baby. You have to let him go. For the sake of both of you, don't ruin what you guys had. It can't get better from here, only ugly."
El still didn't say anything. How could she? Everything was getting worse and all she could do was sit back and watch the rest unfold in front of her.
Joyce gave a reassuring smile, placing her fingers on El's hand and gently tracing small circles with the edge of her thumb, creating little tiny patterns against it.
Tiredness hit El then, like a wave, slowly, than all at once.
El felt herself drowning in the memories, of Hoppers sudden disapproval of Mike once he heard El's soft sobs over the phone and now Mike making a sudden appearance in her life once again. "Tell me it gets better from here, please." El whispered, Joyce gave me her a look filled with so much sadness that a knot formed in her stomach.
"Thing's will only get better once you speak to him, let him grieve. He didn't just lose all his friends and family, he lost his first love. He lost you." Joyce reached out and captured her hand in hers, again. Raising it to her lips, she pressed a kiss to El's palm before letting her hand fall to her side slowly.
"I know, it's just so hard." She blew out, pleased that her voice didn't tremble.
She needed to let him go
XXXXXXXXXX
Authors note: Hey guys, hope all is well and you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for it being so late in updating but the wifi has been playing up where I live! Anyways the song for this chapter is 'The man who can't be moved' by the scripts! Should I make a playlist for the story? Let me know in the comments and also do you guys so far prefer mike or Ben?
L xx
