PRESENT DAY: IMPEL DOWN, APPROXIMATELY TWO WEEKS LATER

A little over a fortnight later Koby and Helmeppo returned to Impel Down with a fully drafted list of new policies and procedures. Behavioral codes. Incident reporting. Adequate medical care. Regular meals. No, Sadi-chan, torture was not a food. No baptisms. No rabid beasts. No starving. No freezing. No stabbing. No giant cauldron of blood.

"But what will we heat level four with?!" wailed Sadi, draping herself over the table. "We can't have a BURNING HELL without BURNING ANYTHING!"

"Can we trade?" muttered Helmeppo, as Sadi waxed on the benefits of boiling human fluids. "I'll go threaten Alvida to keep her mouth shut and you can deal with Sadi-chan."

While Helmeppo sat with the staff to go over the transition period of implementing these new policies, Koby excused himself to the elevator.

He had a plan. He was ready for her this time. Logical Koby. Turn off the voices. Turn off the emotions, he willed himself. The lift clattered and screeched past thousands of souls. Koby shut them out.

The doors clattered open, and he found himself facing a pitch black corridor.

This wasn't right.

"I don't know how you see anything down here, it's so dark, I'd get lost, shishishi…I thought you were gonna bring Gramps this time, neh?"

He was not on Level Four.

He had let the lift take him to Level 6. He had pressed the button automatically, mindlessly, as if Luffy was still -

His feet were moving on their own.

No, not here, please not here...

Unbidden, as if he wasn't truly in his body, he walked, step by step down the halls of Level Six.

Only a handful of prisoners remained on this floor. The worst of the worst. Blackbeard's crew had been mostly annihilated, the survivors were on level five.

There was the cell, gaping in front of him.

Empty.

"What's going on now, Koby? Did they catch anyone else yet?" said Luffy, swallowing another chunk of meat.

Koby shook his head. "They haven't gotten anyone else Luffy. It's just you. Nobody wants this. Nobody. Not Alabasta or Wano or Dressrosa, but...but, Akainu…"

"Shishishisi. Nah, I knew they wouldn't - my nakama are too good for that! They know what they're doing, just you wait and see. Besides, I've got one nakama right here!"

'It shouldn't be this way, Luffy,' Koby whispered, his hands shaking. ' I tried, I tried so hard. This isn't right…'

He hurriedly brushed the tears from his eyes and stalked back to the elevator.

He ground his thumb into the button for Level Four.

Logical Koby. Black and white. Facts.

He stalked down the corridor to Alvida's solitary little cell.

This was what he was left with.

She was what he was left with.

She was draped across the couch, drinking….for Roger's sake, a cup of tea and reading a copy of Lysistrata.

The fact that she had the nerve to live, when Luffy...

"Why, Koby!" Alvida said brightly, looking up at Koby's arrival outside her cell. "How lovely to see you back, you -"

"That's Rear Admiral Koby."

Alvida gave him a withering look.

"Useless, good-for-nothing, cabin boy, Koby," she drawled. "I beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about our little agreement."

"I have not," said Koby.

"Wouldn't you rather come in?" said Alvida, stretching her legs. "Please, it's much more comfortable in here, I do have a little chair. We can play that game of backgammon."

"Since when would my comfort be of particular concern to you, Alvida?"

"Well if you're going to be dropping by, you needn't make yourself miserable about it."

"Ah yes, I am being blackmailed, but please, make sure I'm not 'miserable."

"Koby," said Alvida, pouring herself another cup of tea, her seastone cuffs clanking against the porcelain teapot. "I do not particularly enjoy being gawked at like I am a zoo animal in a cage. When I have guests, I invite them in."

"And your guests, usually accept?"

"Few would decline to sit at the feet of a goddess," intoned Alvida, tossing her hair.

"Then I shall be the exception," said Koby.

Alvida glared at him. Koby felt a sudden hot spike of anger from her.

He withdrew a folder from his coat. "I have here, a petition for government pardon. I've brought it, so you may take me in earnest." He pulled out the handful of papers and showed them to her.

"However, " he continued on, doggedly, as Alvida opened her mouth to say something. "These papers will represent our agreement. I will petition your case to get you released from Impel Down. In return, you are not going to speak about our previous relationship together."

"Why, of course not," said Alvida, leaning on the couch, smirking into her teacup.

"Furthermore, you will not speak of our relationship upon your release," said Koby. "I am doing you a favor in return for cooperation. That is all this arrangement is. I am not your errand boy, your playmate, your entertainment, what have you. I am here to negotiate an agreement that constitutes your freedom and also your silence. Are you willing to agree?"

"Goodness me, so strict. So many rules," said Alvida disdainfully. "And if I don't agree?"

"Then you won't get out of here," said Koby, shrugging. "You can have my career, my reputation, and the satisfaction of taking me down, but you'll still be stuck in a cell the rest of your life. Decide if it's worth it."

Alvida narrowed her eyes. "My, how uncharacteristic of the beaming new face of this world."

"The choice is yours. Do you agree to mutual cooperation?"

Alvida started him down. Finally, she swung her legs off the couch and stood up.

"I do."

She reached a shackled hand through the bars.

Koby felt his hands go very clammy, as he stared up at her. Why was she so damn tall?

"Oh come now, sailor boy," she drawled, raising an eyebrow. "You're not still afraid of me, are you?"

Her gaze bored into his, sizing him up, a smile playing across her lips.

Willing his hand not to tremble, he took her hand.

Koby immediately felt a swell of overwhelming emotion - hunger, malice, desperation, pounded through his head.

He let go almost immediately, feeling contaminated. She was still staring him down, smirking. Nothing he had just felt from her was mirrored in her face.

"Oh my, was an agreement with me that painful?" she sneered, turning her back to him. "For Roger's sake, I miss the Koby from a few weeks ago who was on the verge of a mental breakdown, not this asshole."

She swung herself down to the couch and began filing her nails. "So when can I next expect updates in our little arrangement?"

"My partner and I will be overseeing Impel Down's transition to new policies over the next six to eight months. You can expect me to visit once every two to three weeks or so. I believe that is reasonable."

"Hmm...new policies? Can I finally get these taken off after ten years?" Alvida held up her shackled hands.

Koby laughed, humorlessly. "We may be implementing reform for more humane treatment of prisoners, but we are not so foolish so as to allow devil fruit users free reign of their powers."

"God, you sound like you're reciting some speech prepared before you got here," she drawled. "I want the old Koby."

Koby blanched. Logical Koby had practiced exactly what he was going to say in the bathroom mirror before he got there and mapped out a reply for every anticipated response Alvida could give him.

"You want the Koby from a few weeks because he was foolish enough to give in to you," said Koby. Because he was Emotion Koby.

"Yes, but this Koby has the personality of seastone," said Alvida. "Nauseating and painful. Won't you come play a game with me?"

"Playing games with you is not part of the agreement. Get one of your lovely guard friends to play with you."

"So this is it?" sighed Alvida. "You flash paperwork at me and call it a day?"

"Yes, that about does it."

"How have you been?"

"Excuse me?" Koby was caught off guard. This had not been one of the questions he had anticipated.

"How have you been?" asked Alvida. She was draped on the couch and absentmindedly straining to trace the stone floor as much as her cuffs would allow her. "There must be a lot happening with so many changes in this world. I'm curious, surely you're doing more than simply babysitting Impel Down. The world is changing, I -"

"I am not your source of news, Alvida. Ask one of your many acquaintances here."

"Oh come now, 'how are you' is hardly an unreasonable question, Koby," yawned Alvida. "Why are you being so obnoxious? It is unbecoming."

Koby stood up. "I will be leaving."

Alvida narrowed her eyes.

I doubt you were so rude to Straw Hat."

Koby whirled around, his body surging, his hands shaking.

"No," his Logical mind screamed. "No. Don't give her the response. She wants that."

"What's going on now Koby? Did they catch anyone else yet? Nah, I knew they wouldn't - my nakama are too good for that! They know what they're doing, just you wait and see. Besides, I've got one nakama right here!"

"Goodbye Alvida. I will see you in a few weeks."

He let go of the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he walked down the hallway. His Emotion self was pleading to feel, and as Koby walked away from Alvida's cell, he felt a needle of rage follow him down the hallway, mixed with something else, something deeper that he couldn't quite ascertain.


Welp, this fic is a year old now and I can barely be bothered to upload it here on ff dot net...