El had never before minded being alone with Mike and her family. Now she dreaded it.

Part of El wanted to try again, to endure all the heartache and suffering to be with him. But she couldn't do that to herself or to her heart. She knew it would be an endless cycle of destruction and tears. She was desperate to know, was it possible for her heart to still grieve after thousands of wretched sobs have poured out of her mouth? The cries always wringed heavily in her ears - they were loud - glass shattering, gut wrenching that to El every tear was sending her into a spiral of emptiness.

Complete nothingness.

She was scared, utterly terrified, that she knew. What she didn't know was how much more pain she could inflict on herself by being near Mike. Hell, his presence alone was enough to slice her heart into two. But to watch him with her family, everything seemed like how it once was before.

Before Emily, before the betrayal had begun, when they were happy and oh so in love with each other.

She still loved him, it was suffocating her and she could feel herself resenting him for it.

El's eyes scanned over him, she wanted to cry within that moment. She knows the burning tears will come in fleating waves, like it always does and she was over it. The tears had to stop, the heartache had to come to an end because she wasn't so sure how much her body could handle.

After all her heart felt like it had collided against glass as it teared and pulled at her heartstrings, leaving her empty and broken.

As broken as she once was before Mike seemingly entered her life, and how ironically, the one person she gave her heart and soul to completely had let her mind whither it's way into a black hole. One that she didn't know she'd be able to escape from on her own and it was all his fault, hatred began filling her heart and brimming it's way onto the surface that El's knuckles were achingly turning white as she clenched them into fists tightly.

She ran her tongue along the insides of her teeth as she bit back a hiss that threatened to escape her mouth. Her nails where wedging down into her porcelain skin, threatening to break the surface if she chose to dug any harder.

It was Will's comforting voice that pulled El back into reality, "I didn't realise how much I missed you until these last few months began to fly by so quickly, is everything alright? You know you could always talk to me, even if I may be a thousand miles away. I'm still your brother. You're still my best friend." He than placed a soft, warm hand onto hers and let out a small smile. She knew he was only trying to help and she loved him for it but it was his eyes that gave it away.

Pity swirled in them heavily, almost as if he knew Mike had been spluttering bullshit moments before to him. His pale-blue eyes bored into hers, and for a second she was ready to combust. To spill out every single detail that he had missed out on knowing, how crushed and lonely she had felt since he left home and when Mike decided to have an affair, but most importantly how this pregnancy was only a scam but a small part of her wishes it had been true in a way and she hates herself for being so weak.

El tried not to breathe too deeply, because the room smelled of sugar cookies and Mike's scent and it was almost too much for her to bare. Her heart turned over heavily, almost painfully as Will waited for a response patiently but her mouth went slack. She pulled through though, she wasn't going to let Mike speak for her again.

Not now, not ever.

"Nothing to worry about," she said, her voice low, her gaze floating off and focusing on her empty plate in front of her. She couldn't look at him, she wasn't good at lying and Will knew that with every fibre of his being. So her gaze remained on her plate, "Work's just been getting to me lately, I'm not getting much sleep from it so I'm just a bit tired all the time."

When El finally managed to look at him, her heart raced and thumped heavily as Will's lips pulled into a frown before the topic blowed over by Joyce's ramblings.

"And you Mike? How's the job going?" Everyone watched in shock as Mike began rubbing El's belly in slow, steady circles. The corners of his mouth turned upright as his other hand ran steadily through his mass of unkept curls. He was nervous - that El knew - he only tugged and pulled at his hair when he was lost for words.

In reality, Mike had lost his job months back due to financial issues so they let him go. This was before ciaos filled El's everyday life, and yet, she couldn't help but feel a small part of her was responsible for that. The fight's had been bad, they fought endlessly which resulted in Mike leaving the apartment for hours. But he never dared to touch her, he wouldn't, Mike wasn't like that. Back then, he was still her sweet boy. His lips would never frown around her, his words would lift her spirit and indulge her heart and soul.

But now? El was speechless.

This time she answered for him as he had done for her. El reminisced on the sweet memories and innocent gestures they shared. She didn't want to hate him, hate wasn't a word that came close to Mike Wheeler until now.

Even though she may not be his wife for much longer, she felt protective over him, and for the first time in a long while - El pushed back the hatred and held onto the love that still lingered. "Well," El said, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of her throat. She continued on, "Mike offered to leave work to help me with the pregnancy. I didn't realise he had already been saving for this moment and I didn't want him to leave a job he's been working so hard for. But every child needs it's father, and with the money Mike saved, I realised I didn't want him anywhere but my side."

Mike let out a shuttering breath as he leaned over ever so gently and placed a kiss against El's forehead. It lingered for a moment too soon but El fell into his touch anyway. She knew what it implied - it was a thank you - a small gesture.

Joyce nodded mutely before Will muttered, "Where's Dad?" Over the years, Hopper had gained a strong attachment to the boys and El. They realised he deserved a proper title, after all, he was apart of the family. El's brain wondered off to where Jonathon and Nancy were, they finally had there baby girl Eureka, a little bundle of joy with expressive eyes and a smile that melted the coldest of hearts.

El loved her with every fibre of her being, hell, she was the reason why El wanted a child. She didn't mind whether or not it was a boy or a girl - all she knew was she wanted it to be Mike's.

Yet now? She wasn't so sure about anything anymore.

All except that she needed to leave and she was ready to take Mike along with her. El wasn't through with him, she desperately needed answers to stop the raging questions invading her thoughts as she slept at night.

Before Joyce could reply, El hastily pushed her chair back and quickly stood up; She drew in a long breath and grasped Mike's arm as she gently tugged him upright and off of his chair. Without even a second thought El put his hand back against her shaking belly and she swallowed down her nerves.

His black, stunned eyes met hers and she didn't know that it was still possible for her heart to break all over again as she watched him intently as tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. He was strong though - they both knew he was the anchor between the two of them - but for the first time she was the strongest.

She averted her eyes from everyone's penetrating gaze and Joyce's scowl as she began mumbling, "I think I need to head outside for some fresh air, the baby's already making me feel nauseous. Mike will you take me please?"

The sight of him was killing her. She loved him, needed him like she needed air to breathe but she knew that there time was over. She need all her questions finally answered and than with her head held high - she would let him go. She tried to shake away the unwelcoming images and memories from her mind that had been clawing at her violently but they wouldn't flee.

El was tired. So tired.

Without anymore words being spoken, they left the room soundlessly as they made their way onto the patio. The only thing that could be heard was the pitter patter of their rushed steps before Mike grazed his fingers against the shell of her palm and forced her to halt her steps once they were nowhere to be seen.

He pulled her into his side and she let him just this once, already loving the soft feel of him against her. She continued to hug him on her side that her head now rested neatly just below his chin.

It was their unspoken goodbye.

El waited for him to say something, but he was quiet as she felt him breath her in and began hugging her tighter against his clothed side - almost as if he was afraid to let her go - to watch her disappear from him forever.

El wedged herself onto her tippy toes as she pulled his head towards hers, this is when she felt his warm tears against the swell of her neck. He was crying, and she knew within that moment that she had been Mike Wheeler's undoing. That she had broken him as he had broken her and that alone terrified her.

Mike's body shook as his cries didn't seem to slow down, he began choking back on his tears as his shoulders shook with such force that El was lost for words. Mike than slid his arms around her waist and continued to clung to her for a long time. She stood there in his arms, not saying a word, just listening to his cries.

After a few minutes, he whispered. "I will always love you. Never doubt that." She pulled back and swipped his tears with the pad of her thumb. Entwining her hands in his hair, she returned the favour and kissed him. The kiss was earth shattering, it gripped and pulled at her heart as she knew she'd be able to move on.

But he'd keep a small piece of her always.

"As will I - but for us to have a proper chance at a fresh start - we need to talk."

AUTHORS NOTE:

I'm sorry for not updating for awhile, life has been hectic and chaotic as of recently and to be honest with you guys I did lose a lot of inspiration for this story! I'll try and update whenever I can, Let me know what you think darlings! Missed you all.

L xx