(SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER - VIENNA BY BILLY JOEL)

Mike buried his face into El's clothed shoulder and let out a sigh of contentment. His touch baffled her, the way it endlessly made her heart skitter around her chest. "Mike," El said, choking on his name, "Please."

His gaze dropped to her now, his arms still locked around El's waist. Tears continuously dripped off of his chin. He lets out a slow, shaky breath but that didn't stop the ache forming in El's chest.

"Let's get out of here—" El begins, the words tight in her throat. He tightened his hold around her, almost as a silent no, but she knew that they couldn't stand this way forever. Joyce and Will would soon come looking for them, the pair had been a blubbering mess and I'm sure the sight of them would be questionable to her Family.

Especially to Hopper.

"I'll go anywhere as long as I'm with you." Mike rasped out, his voice hoarse and broken from the unleashed tears. His eyes blazed as El reached over and held out her hand to him.

Mike accepted it, he'd always accept her touch. Would always accept his El.

He looked down at their entwinned hands - he ignored the way his nerves were tingling and ready to combust at any given moment. And together - they abandoned the patio and walked towards the empty streets of Hawkins.

Mike was shaking, shaking hard, it frightened El to watch him crumble to pieces in front of her. But she knew they needed this - now more than ever. "Well . . . ," she says with a broken laugh, "Where do we start?"

He kept his eyes on the pavement, whispering softly, "We don't have to do this, El. I don't want to hurt you. I've already done that enough don't you think?" His hand drifted up, dragging back through his hair whilst the other hand was firmly planted in El's.

He wasn't ready to pull apart from her just yet.

She let out a shuddering breath, her eyes rose to meet his. "No." She shakes her head firmly, "I need to know."

He let out a low, flat laugh. "Of course you do. You've always been strong. I envied you for it - that's not what I'm worried about." Mike lurched forward, a small, whimpering noise came out of him - a desperate sob.

She watched him fall apart, they wouldn't be able to get through this if she didn't stop this madness. "What are you so scared about?"she said, her voice quavering.

And then they jerked to a frantic stop. Mike was blocking the rest of the side walk as his body lurched in front of hers. A feeling of complete and utter helplessness was suffocating El as she watched him trying to compose himself. He had trouble breathing, his chest tightened so much as his heart faltered at the sight of El staring right back at him.

Her make up was smudged, her hair sprung out in wild masses of urban curls that scattered across the nape of her neck, whispy pieces of her hair clung to her dampened cheeks - and yet - she was still effortlessly beautiful to him.

It scared him to death - how could he possibly move on when there would never be another girl like El. His first love, his only love.

"I'm not okay," Mike said hoarsely between breaths. "I've never been okay. But you made it better, you made my life tolerable and worth living because you were always there. You were there through every bad nightmare, through every faulty moment in my life because you never managed to leave my side. And now? Life won't mean a god damn thing because you won't be in it anymore. That's what I'm scared of, I'm scared of waking up realising you won't be there laying next to me every morning and it breaks my fucking heart."

El stood stone still and stared up at him even as tears ran down her cheeks. Then she laughed. A sound so raw that it made him flinch as it invaded his ears heavily. She continued laughing as the tears poured over her cheeks, spilling into her neck and onto her already dampened colar of her dress.

"I hate you." She shoved him hard, ignoring the burning ache in her hands as she continued to shove him over and over. She screeched at the tops of her lungs, "I hate you! I hate you!"

He took another step back from her, his hand going to his hair but he never dared to touch her once. El shoved at his chest with all of her might, she wanted to hurt him, to let him feel and see what he had done to her. Her breath hitched as she fought for air, her arms weighing heavy but that didn't stop her from muttering one last time how much she hated him, despised him even.

They wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't fucked Emily.

Mike winced at the dullness in her eyes as her arms finally fell to her sides ever so slowly.

"You hate me," he repeated, his face void of all emotion. "You hate me?"

"I can't," she whispered at last. "I wish I could, but I can't. I could never hate you."

El's entire body started to tremble as her voice was starting to crack under the weight of her tears spilling over and never seeming to end. And it was all his fault.

Mike tried to touch her but she backs away. It made him sick.

He continues to move closer towards her, El presses her hands against his chest and begins hitting him all over again but this time he catches both of her flying fists in one of his. He broke down, "Come back to me, sweetheart. Please, come back."

Mike latches tighter to her. "I don't want you to go, I'll never be ready for you to go." He whispered hoarsely into her hair. El eases him off of her gently, she touch's his face, her palm moving over the small stubbles beginning to form on his jaw. She watches him silently, almost tiredly, and lets out a small sigh.

"You slept with someone else. For all I know it could've happened more than once on the nights you'd disappear and didn't come back home for hours. Even if I wanted to believe you, how could I?" She watched his face shift, clearly in pain. She sucked in a breath, knowing that this wasn't doing them any good.

Maybe it had been to early for the both of them, maybe she wasn't ready for the answers he was willing to give her.

Mike fell silent. He had to force the words past his throat. "If I could have done it all over again, I would have loved you better. But I could not have loved you more."

AUTHORS NOTE:

TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE NIGHT! I must say, I am pretty impressed but I'd be even more happy to get your honest opinion about the story...don't worry everything will start to fall into place for the pair. But for now, enjoy some angst.

Lots of love,

L xx