IMPEL DOWN: PRESENT DAY

A little over a month or so had passed. Impel Down was in the initial steps of reconstruction. Koby's paperwork was still gathering signatures from all the Vice Admirals. Impel Down's staff had been for the most part receptive to the changes. Sadi-chan was wild as ever, but Koby was surprised that no one else seemed particularly upset that they were basically uprooting the entire prison - on the contrary, the staff seemed for the most part, relieved.

"I don't have anything of note to report Alvida," said Koby. "These things don't happen overnight."

"Oh how delightful," said Alvida. "You've brought me a newspaper!"

"What? Oh, no - I just had this," said Koby, looking perplexed at the newspaper.

"Hmmm...well surely you wouldn't mind sharing?" she yawned.

"Can't you get your own newspaper?" said Koby. "It's just news."

"I can, but the news is far more interesting when it can be shared and debated," said Alvida. "Of course I could ask any of my numerous acquaintances to share the news with me, but none are so informed and involved as you are, Koby. Why would I trouble myself prattling with some guard when I could speak with you ? The golden child of the new government."

"You flatter me" said Koby dryly.

"Be thankful, I don't flatter much," said Alvida. "All I would like is to be able to share a cup of tea over the day's politics with you. We can play that game of backgammon."

"You still labor under the delusion we're playing backgammon, Alvida."

"At least share the news," she sighed. "You're a dreadful bore."

"Things are a mess," said Koby, holding the newspaper broadly. "We barely have a government. Helmeppo and I are trying to make sure people don't get tortured, but there's an obnoxious woman who is blackmailing me. Fleet Admiral Tsuru is trying to do her job but unfortunately nobody really wants to take a woman in her eighties very seriously. The Revolutionary Army is running the news and everyone is trying to come up with a new definition of piracy because we're rewriting laws." He folded the newspaper and tucked it into his back pocket. "Happy?"

"Re-writing the laws around piracy?" said Alvida brightly. "Oh that sounds excellent. Use that in your fancy paperwork to help my case."

"Nice try," said Koby. "We've decided there's two kinds of pirates. People who get in a boat and go treasure hunting, and people who get in a boat and go treasure hunting and attack people. You fall in the latter category Alvida. I saw much of it in my youth, you forget."

"Oh Koby, that was ages ago, running shotgun to a warlord was much more lucrative," said Alvida. "Your judgmental attitude continues to be unbecoming."

"Ah, forgive me," said Koby blandly. "You would prefer me cheerful and delighted that I am being blackmailed.

"I can be very civil when I want to be," said Alvida. "I'd even share my nail polish with you if you came in here. This one would match your hair, see? It's call Come Hither."

Koby laughed. "'Come Hither?" Nice try. Why would nail polish be called that?"

"No, it actually really is," said Alvida, holding out the little pink bottle. "They're all called things like that. Come Hither. Oral Fixation. Frankly Scarlet. See for yourself."

Koby reluctantly drew up the bars and examined the lewdly named nail polish.

"Where do you get all of this?"

"A girl from the North Blue sends me trinkets once a month, and fan letters," said Alvida, as Koby turned away. "You sure you don't want to try it? Pink isn't really my color, I tend to stick to reds."

"I think that's my cue to leave," said Koby, starting to walk away.

"At least let me read you your horoscope!" said Alvida. "What's your sign, Koby? I could never bother to remember your birthday when you were on my ship."

"May 13th," said Koby, automatically. "No wait, I-"

"Hmm, Taurus…" said Alvida, eagerly. "You may be expecting some exciting news, Taurus! Perhaps a windfall, the return of an old friend, or a promotion? Who knows! Your love life will be heating up too, don't be afraid to try some new tricks in the bedroom! Oh my, how scandalous, perhaps I shouldn't be reading this to you. Just remember to stay grounded and keep and open mind as you ride the tides of change!"

"Did you just make that up?" said Koby, turning back to to stare at her, chuckling in spite of himself.

"No dear, it's here on the back page of the paper." said Alvida, looking up from a newspaper. "Have you never read your horoscopes?"

"You had an newspaper the whole time?" said Koby. "Why did you make such a fuss of asking me for mine?"

"This is yours, silly," said Alvida.

Koby stared at her.

"Please silly boy, pickpocketing is hardly a challenge for me," she said, waving a hand, her shackles clanking. "You were distracted by my trinkets and got too close, and turned your back to me. It was an easy misdirection. Hmmm, now for Pisces...romantic passions are flaring this week, heh, wouldn't that be nice…"

Koby was inside the cell before he had even realized he had thrust the key into the door..

"Give it back," he said.

It wasn't about the newspaper at all. It was about her. It was about boundaries.

"Gladly, sailor boy," said Alvida, smirking playfully up at him, draped across the couch. "But now that you're finally in here….how about that game of backgammon?"

She had that satisfied look in her eyes, like she had when had corned him into agreeing to this nonsense in the first place.

Koby stared, incredulous, suddenly realizing what he had done. She had played those boundaries.

He wanted to be angry, and yet he was...

Indignant. Annoyed.

….and vaguely impressed.

"Okay, I give," he said raising his hands. "Not bad."

Even Alvida looked surprised.


"Now, my backgammon board," said Alvida, as she unfolded the splintering wooden box from under her couch. "Is made of mahogany and rosewood, with mother of pearl inlay. The pieces are gold and silver. Real velvet on the inside and the die cups, with dice made of onyx...to die for, really. Nothing like this old piece of trash."

"Why aren't we playing with your set?"

"My personal effects are all locked away, Koby. Obviously, I'm not allowed to have them." said Alvida, laying the pieces across the board. "Fortunately I have been able to re-amass some necessities over the years, but this is all they would give me. Believe me, I've tried."

"Necessities, of course," said Koby, looking around the cell with its books, flowers and furnishings. "Only necessities."

"Oh hush, don't be patronizing," said Alvida. "It's very unattractive. Do you know how to play backgammon?"

"Of course."

"I'm quite surprised you got me in here," said Koby, in spite of himself. He had been trying to tune out the most of his Observation when he was around her, he clearly hadn't felt her snatch his newspaper.

"Sleight of hand is one of the first tricks a thief learns. That and lockpicking. And I am very good at both," said Alvida, rolling the dice. "Really, such a fuss over the news. Your lovely Fleet Admiral Tsuru visits and brings Doflamingo the news, you know."

"What?" said Koby incredulously. "No!"

"I swear it," said Alvida, raising a hand, her shackles clanking. "She even lets him out for a stroll once in awhile. Not outside of course, just around Level Six. He follows her around like a lovesick teenager."

"You are making this up," said Koby, sliding his piece across the board.

"I swear on Roger's grave," she said. "Besides, you and your boyfriend are surveying the place, right? You ought to know who gets what special privileges. I do love gossip."

She leaned back on the couch and began ticking off on her fingers. "Let's see, Drake is pretty chummy with Magellan and Hannyabal, Marine history and all. Lafitte gets his oh-so-special eyeliner and lipstick sent in from the West Blue sent in...he's too good for those of us who just get regular contraband makeup. He is not allowed tap shoes however," she chuckled, moving her piece over Koby's onto the next marker.

"You hear all this from the guards?" asked Koby, rolling the dice.

"Mhmmm, I have a couple whom have learned to trust me," she said, smiling with lidded eyes. "Basil Hawkins does tarot readings fairly religiously for several staff members who are superstitious, they give him stuff for it. Doflamingo's family has become fairly comfortable over the years, though none of them behave very well. Baccarat and Whitey Bay are both pretty popular with the gentleman, they get lots of fancy things, and supervised time outside - though of course they're not in solitary. Annnnd van Auger requests books on birds. I'm sure you could find out more if you wanted."

"Fascinating," said Koby, still not entirely sure he believed her as he slid his piece over hers.

"I do try to be informed," said Alvida, waving the newspaper. "I can hardly court visitors all the time. It's called solitary confinement because I have such dangerous information. So I try to make the most of what I can find out. Hmmmm, not bad," she added, moving her piece onto the triangle next to Koby's. "Of course, one never knows what to believe anymore these days. So much disarray."

"Well, the revolutionary army has been a great asset in establishing freedom of the press," said Koby.

"Yes, but it will take some time for the people to trust what they read," said Alvida, rifling through the newspaper as she shifted her piece two rows down. "That's how rumors get started…" she added, raising her eyebrows. "Rumors about even the most upstanding of Marines."

"Alvida, I'm doing what you ask, begrudgingly," said Koby, fighting a swell of anger. "I'm even in here playing backgammon with you. You telling the staff here about our relationship will not get your out of here. Taking down one Marine out of pettiness does not absolve you of a life of crime."

"For the love of Roger, you're so dramatic," said Alvida. "So noble and pure. Yes, please tell me more about my tragic lifetime of crime and sin. Perhaps if you say more self-righteous things my wicked black heart will be overcome with sadness."

Koby sighed, and rolled the dice. Alvida grinned as she beared off two of her pieces, turning and flipping through a few more pages of the newspaper.

"Oh heavens, are they still running that drivel Sora, Warrior of the Sea?"

"Hey now, Sora is very popular!" said Koby, defensively. "They have been printing re-runs for a few years now."

"Of course you like it, you goody-two shoes, they wrote bullshit like that to get kids to join the Marines. Sora is just Marine propaganda," said Alvida, dryly. "Sora was a woman, but that got changed quick when they wrote the comics."

"What? Really?"

"They had much better comics running when I was a child. Go read about the Germa kingdom, as in the history, not the nonsense that gets shown in the newspaper. Women get written out of everything," said Alvida, rolling the dice.

"Hey, we have Tsuru in charge now at least," said Koby, bearing off one if his pieces.

"About damn time," said Alvida. "How long did Garp and Sengoku make her sit on the sidelines? Years. That woman should have been running things ages ago. Maybe we wouldn't have lost so many good people out of of this hell hole."

She looked very pointedly at Koby. Koby felt a needle of agony creep into his stomach, as Luffy's empty cell swam into his mind.

"You win," said Koby quickly as Alvida rounded the last of her pieces the board. Alvida looked very pleased, fanning herself with the large ostrich plumed fan.

"I think I'll going then," said Koby, standing up.

"Thank you for indulging a bit of time with your old captain," purred Alvida. "Koby, would you be a dear and quickly bring me some of the strawberries from the staff room?"

"I beg your pardon? How would you know what's in the staff room?"

"Oh, Leopold mentioned it this morning," said Alvida, gesturing vaguely, her cuffs clinking. "He said he might try to bring me some."

"Great. Then get him to do it," said Koby.

"Derision doesn't become you, Koby," said Alvida. "What's trotting up to the staff room quickly?"

"No," said Koby. "I said that I'm not running errands for you."

"Koby, don't be petty," said Alvida, narrowing her eyes.

Koby turned to leave.

"Now listen here, cabin boy-" said Alvida, standing up, her hands clenched.

"No," said Koby. "Good night."

Koby shut the door, the click in the lock ringing. He could feel her stare all the way down the hallway. He didn't dare let his emotions and his Observation whatever was in that intensity of hers that followed him down the hall into the lift.

Those words crept back into his head.

"Maybe we wouldn't have lost so many good people out of of this hell hole."

The thought that he could have been sitting with Luffy over a piece of meat tugged at his chest, weighing his footsteps.

Instead he was drinking tea with a woman he hated.


Koby did go to the staff room, out of some uncharacteristically vindictive desire to the eat whatever was left in the staff room.

Helmeppo was in there, chatting with some of the guards.

"Rear Admiral! How are things going?" said one of them warmly upon him entering.

Koby was overall relieved that the staff did not take him and Helmeppo to be a nuisance for coming in and essentially overturning their entire workplace. On the contrary, a majority of them seemed to be fairly pleased with the changes that were being made.

"Koby, you'll never believe this," muttered Helmeppo. "You thought Alvida had things nice? Lafitte gets high-end eyeliner and lipstick sent in to him, he has a contact just for that. And don't get me started on Doflamingo's wild family."

Koby snorted into his coffee.

"I was just saying to the Commodore here," said a staff member. "I can finally sleep at night again knowing I don't have to get up and torture people in the morning."

"Yeah, and the heads think very highly of you," said another, a grateful smile on his face. "Well Domino's not thrilled, but she's not about to complain about it."

"What?" said Helmeppo. "Domino has been incredibly helpful to us. Everyone has, all of the staff. I mean, Sadi has been a little 'dramatic' about the changes, but otherwise -"

"Tch, Sadi's fine, she just wants her pets taken care of, and to get to keep her arsenal of toys," chuckled a woman, leaning on a chair. "Nah, the one you wanna watch out for is Domino. Anyway, all these changes, it might seem like its in opposition of what Impel Down is known for, but it's for the better."

"Thanks," said Koby, pouring himself a cup of coffee. A whole lot of good that had done Luffy, he thought.

He sat down on the couch, feeling drained. He paused a moment, it looked very familiar.

"Pardon me, if this is unrelated," he said. "But doesn't the prisoner down in one of the Level Four solitary cells have a couch like this?"

"Oh, you mean Alvida?" said one of the staff. "Yeah! We gave her one of our old couches."

"Oh, do tell why," said Helmeppo tersely, drinking his coffee with raised eyebrows.

"We switch them out of the staff rooms every few years or so; they get worn down pretty quickly," said another. "They're all the same, she'd been begging for some kind of furniture, guess we figured give her an old couch instead of just tossing it in the furnace with the rest of the junk."

"We gave her a nice couch though!" said the first man quickly. "Not the gross one from upstairs that was covered in chemical burns from Magellan sitting on it all the time. We gave her the one with the least coffee stains."

"Yeah, Doflamingo got the upstairs one!" laughed the woman.

"Well he's too tall for it, so it just looks rather silly."

"Delightful," said Helmeppo, looking wholly unimpressed.

"If this is an issue," said one of the guards hesitantly. "I mean, I suppose if we're honest, we might be a little indulgent with a few of the prisoners…"

"Ha!" snorted the female guard into her coffee. "Indulgent? You bring Cinnamon her 'morning coffee' with breakfast nearly every other day!"

"And you bring Baccarat that fancy conditioner!"

"Well you're over there making sure our tap dancing friend has his couture makeup."

"Lafitte is...v-very persuasive! Even without his devil fruit powers!"

"I do suppose we might have gotten a little lax on a few things over the years," said an older-looking staff member with a mane of grizzled hair, leaning on the couch next to Koby. "Some of these things got a little more relaxed when Hannyabal took over. I suppose in the case of someone like Alvida, she gets barely other privileges because she's in solitary, so we might be a bit more… generous."

"A bit?" muttered Helmeppo.

"I mean, some books to pass the time," said the guard, with a bit of a sheepish shrug. "A few things so she wasn't sleeping on the floor... -"

"Oh, you just like her feet, Leopold," giggled the woman into her coffee. "Her smooth feet. Do her feet tell you all her deep dark secrets? Do they tell you naughty things?"

"If this is a problem, Rear-Admiral," cut in another staff member, apparently in an attempt to spare his colleague further embarrassment. "We can make some adjustments."

"No, it's fine," said Koby, thinking that if he made them take Alvida's stuff away she would probably piss her off and put him at risk.

"It's kind of sad," Koby said quietly, as he left the staff room with Helmeppo.

"That the world's greatest prison has half its staff fencing contraband all day for their little crew of favorites?" chuckled Helmeppo. "Well it's not the best look, but I suppose it's better than torture."

But that wasn't what was on Koby's mind.

To think the woman he had feared….and still feared, the woman who was once co-captain to a warlord, covered in jewels and finery - had now been reduced to lording over scraps of old coffee stained couch, a pile of books and other junk, and some strawberries from the staff room.