…Ten years ago May we all drank to the future and all went our separate ways…
…we sang as we stood at the gate - we were ready to take the world on…young soldiers of fate - couldn't wait to go right every wrong - wearing our passion, our hopes, and our t-shirts and jeans - dancin' with dreams…
…Before reality threw up the roadblocks and nothin' was out of our reach -
Time flowed smooth as a waltz, so it seemed - we were dancin' with dreams…
Friday afternoon, October 2022
"I wondered if anyone else would make a visit here."
Mercedes turned around, already smiling at the sound of the voice she would recognize anywhere. "Quinn! Girl, what are you doing here? Last time we talked you said you didn't think you were coming!"
Quinn smiled at her as she made her way across the grass to Finn's memorial tree. Mercedes was meeting Sam for lunch at the school but had decided to come a little early to spend a few minutes reflecting on the friends who could not be there that weekend. She too had wondered if anyone else would think to make a stop by the tree.
"I didn't think I was," Quinn said as she gave Mercedes a quick hug. "Being so close to my due date and all," she added, gesturing at her obviously pregnant belly. "But I had a regular appointment on Tuesday and I mentioned it to my doctor and she said I'm still a month out and measuring on track and so as long as I was going somewhere that had a hospital with maternity services and I didn't fly to get there and we stopped every two hours while driving to stretch my legs, then I should be okay and so I went home and told Ty and I think he could just see how badly I wanted to be here with everyone and so we left yesterday and drove all night and here I am!
"I'm so glad," Mercedes said, hugging her again. "I know I just saw you last month, but it just wouldn't have been the same without you."
The trajectory of Mercedes's friendship with Quinn was an interesting one. They had unexpectedly become close in the final months of sophomore year when Quinn had come to live at her house. Then Quinn's mother had left her father and Quinn went home. By the time school started, they had drifted apart, and it had stayed that way most of the rest of high school – they were friends – but not 'real' friends like they had been that first spring. And then of course, Quinn had gone to Yale and Mercedes to LA, New York and on tour and the distance had stayed, the laws of inertia tending to govern personal relationships just as much as they governed anything else.
But two years ago, at the last big reunion for the dedication of the auditorium in Finn's honor, she and Quinn had both arrived early and found themselves with a big chunk of time to really talk and catch up – and they'd both admitted how much the loss of their friendship had meant to them and they'd decided then and there to start rebuilding. At that point in time, Quinn had been married for just about a year, to the boyfriend she met in her senior year at Yale. He'd gone on to law school while Quinn had started working with a non-profit that specialized in women's advocacy. After their wedding and Ty's graduation from law school, he'd gotten an offer from a firm in White Plains and so they lived less than an hour outside of New York City, Quinn now working for the Westchester County branch of the non-profit. Since the 2020 reunion, Quinn and Mercedes had a pact – a telephone or Facetime date at least every two weeks and once a month, as long as Mercedes was in town and not on tour, either Quinn came in to the City or Mercedes took the train out to her. The only former glee club member Mercedes talked to more than Quinn was Sam and somehow, after all this time, Quinn had truly become her best girlfriend.
"Look at you!" Mercedes said happily. "At the risk of sounding, I don't know, scandalous or something, since you were sixteen the last time, but you have always been the cutest little pregnant person."
Quinn laughed. "I feel huge," she said honestly. "Even with as many years between them, it's true what they say about subsequent pregnancies – the belly shows up way sooner!" Her expression turned a little more serious. "Can you believe – Beth is twelve? It blows my mind when I think about it." She pulled out her phone, tapped at the screen a couple times and then held it out to show Mercedes. "Shelby sent me her school picture just the other day. Seventh grade!"
Quinn had long ago repaired her damaged relationship with Shelby. Mercedes knew that Shelby sent regular updates on Beth and there was even the occasional visit once or twice a year.
Mercedes took the phone from her, marveling at the blonde tween girl in the picture. "She looks so much like you," she said, handing the phone back. "Seriously, a mini-Quinn."
"Nicer than me though, at that age, I hope," Quinn replied. "Definitely smarter." She sighed, looking at the photo again before sliding her phone back in her dress pocket. "That smile though – it's all Puck. It breaks my heart and fills it up, all at the same time."
Mercedes nodded in understanding. "Grief is so weird, isn't it? The other day I had Spotify on and 'River Deep, Mountain High' came on – I had to sit down and catch my breath, it hit me so hard.
"I know. A few weeks ago the weatherman on TV said something about a chance of rain, but more likely to just drizzle and I started crying," Quinn admitted, with a small laugh and Mercedes laughed too, remembering Quinn telling her how Finn had wanted to name Beth that at first, when he'd thought he was the father. "Those moments – just out of nowhere."
They stood together quietly for a moment, gazing at the tree that had been planted for Finn but had come to represent the memories of Puck and Santana as well.
"It's just so surreal," Quinn said finally, shaking her head. "And so unfair. To think that three of us are gone – that we're ten years out from high school and Finn didn't even get a whole year after graduation. And Puck tried so hard but just couldn't stop making bad choices. And Santana – "she stopped, unable to finish the sentence and Mercedes took a step closer to her, reaching out to soothingly rub her back.
"I know," Mercedes said quietly. "It should have been the happiest time of their lives and instead – "her voice trailed off as well. Puck had been gone for almost two years now and in some ways, it had almost not been a surprise to any of them when it happened, the single car drunk driving incident that killed him. But they'd all been left reeling after losing Santana just six months earlier to a brain aneurysm that no one had known, or could have possibly known, that she'd had, just lurking inside her skull. She'd died the day after giving birth to her and Brittany's first child, the stress of labor causing the rupture. The only comfort any of them could take was the knowledge that it was instantaneous – she hadn't suffered, hadn't even known what happened - and that Brittany at least still had a piece of her in their son. It was still devastating.
They were both quiet again for a few minutes, lost in thoughts of their lost friends. Finally, Quinn shook her head and smiled. "'River Deep' – the duets competition. I haven't thought about that in years. You and Santana absolutely should have won that, not me and Sam."
"Well, I certainly didn't vote for you," Mercedes declared, and Quinn laughed.
"Of course not for me. But you'd vote for Sam now, wouldn't you?" she teased. "Or maybe even then?"
Mercedes laughed. "I mean, sure I thought he was cute. But he went straight for your skinny blonde ass, so I wasn't going to waste crushing on him then." She shook her head. "If I could only go back and tell sixteen-year-old me that one day – "she cut herself off, realizing she would reveal herself if she finished that sentence. But really. If sixteen-year-old her had known that one day she would marry that cute boy, that he would make her feel more beautiful, more loved, more wanted than she'd ever thought possible – well, some days might have been easier to get through.
"That one day what?" Quinn prompted and Mercedes just shrugged. "Well, anyway," Quinn said, shaking her head. "He was never really into me, you know that. He was just misguidedly trying to be popular."
"The boy's an idiot, he can't help it," Mercedes shrugged, the fondness in her voice offsetting the actual words and Quinn smiled knowingly.
"Have you seen him yet?" Quinn asked curiously. "Last time we talked, you thought it might be time for a change in status, right?"
Shit. Mercedes had forgotten that she had confided this during their last conversation and of course, she'd also thought that Quinn wasn't coming to the reunion weekend.
"I thought I might go stop by the choir room," she said, not exactly answering the question, but also not yet wanting to admit that she had seen quite a bit of Sam – by more than one definition – in the last few days. So, she changed the subject. "Do you think Brittany will come at all this weekend?"
Quinn frowned. "I don't know. I hope so. I call her at least once a week. Sometimes she answers, sometimes she won't."
Mercedes nodded. "Yeah, same. And Sam's said he's tried to get her to come to dinner or see a movie with him and Jake and Sugar and she never goes. I'm just glad she moved back here so her parents and Mrs. Lopez can help her out with the baby."
Quinn smiled, a little sadly. "I've reached out to Mrs. Lopez a couple times – I think that little boy is about the only thing keeping her going this summer. I called Mrs. Pierce on the way here yesterday – I wanted to make sure she knew about the reunion just in case Brittany hasn't said anything. She said she'll see what she can do."
Mercedes sighed. "I guess that's all that we can do."
"That and pray," Quinn said quietly. "Will you say a prayer? You were always more confident about praying out loud than I am."
Mercedes nodded as Quinn reached for her hand and too late, Mercedes realized it was her left hand and she had her ring on. Hoping Quinn wouldn't notice it, Mercedes closed her eyes and began to pray.
"Dear Lord – thank you for the gift of our friends. We wish that we had been given more time with each one of them, but we are so thankful for the time that we did have. Help us to always be grateful for the memories – the happy ones and the sad ones too. And especially, dear Lord, be with Brittany and little Liam and their family. And be with each of us this weekend as we remember the friends who are gone and spend time making precious memories with the friends who are still here. In Jesus' name – amen."
"Amen," Quinn echoed softly, letting go of Mercedes's hand before reaching for it again, turning it so she could see the ring.
"So that's what was poking my palm," she said. "Care to explain this?"
"I – well – " Mercedes blinked, trying to think quickly enough to come up with some kind of reason for the ring before realizing that a, it was totally pointless – Quinn knew her too well, she'd see right through any story and b, she actually didn't want to lie about her relationship with Sam. He was right, it was dumb that they always tried to keep it a secret and it was truly dumb that she'd thought they could make it until Sunday without anyone finding out. And she was so happy, it was kind of bursting out of her anyway. "It's from Sam," she finally said simply.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Well, I could have guessed that part! What does it mean? Did you tell him how you feel and ended up engaged?"
"Um, well," Mercedes was realizing as she was about to speak that it was the first time she talked about being married to anyone besides Sam and she was finding it very weird to form the words. "So, I actually flew out a couple days ago and surprised him – he didn't know I was coming early – and we talked and then we went over to the courthouse and, um, yeah. Mrs. Sam Evans, right here," she concluded, gesturing at herself.
"Are you serious? You just up and married him?"
Mercedes nodded, the smile on her face so big she thought her face might stretch apart. "I did – we did! We freakin' got married! Isn't it crazy?"
"It's absolutely nuts," Quinn agreed. "But, oh, I'm so happy for you!" She pulled her in a for a hug. "It's so exciting!"
"That's the first time I've said 'married' to anyone but him," Mercedes admitted. "It feels so weird!"
Quinn laughed. "It definitely takes some getting used to," she agreed. "Speak of the devil," she added, catching sight of Sam across the parking lot. "Here comes your husband now," she said, pointedly putting emphasis on the words 'your husband.'
"My husband," Mercedes echoed with a bit of a giggle, covering her face with her hands for a second before turning to see Sam walking towards them.
Both women waved and Sam smiled and waved back as he approached.
"Ladies! Welcome back to McKinley! Quinn, hey, you look great!" he said enthusiastically, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "And Mercedes! Great to see you too – when did you get into town?" He winked at her as he said this and both women lasted all of about two seconds before bursting into giggles.
"What? What'd I say?" The poor man was so confused but despite the look on his face it still took Mercedes a minute or two to get a handle on herself. Finally, she put her hand on his arm and shook her head. "It's okay, baby, she knows. I told her."
Sam looked back and forth between the two women.
"Congratulations?" Quinn offered and was rewarded with a giant grin and "thank you" from Sam before he looked back at his wife.
"You told her? Ms. This-always-has-to-be-secret spilled the beans first?" he questioned cheerfully, and Mercedes shrugged, holding up her left hand.
"She saw my ring, she asked, and I realized I didn't wanna lie about us," Mercedes replied simply.
"Thank God," Sam said. "Does this mean I can tell Blaine at the game tonight? It feels really weird, him not knowing, especially now that your best friend knows."
"Yes, you can tell Blaine," Mercedes said with a laugh. "I know you're dying for your bro moment."
Sam just grinned and turned back to Quinn. "Did Ty come with you? Y'all coming to the game tonight?"
"Yes and no. He's back at the hotel – he of course drove the entire way and we got here about 2 am – since we had to stop for stretch breaks so often – doctor's orders-" she added as an aside to Sam, who nodded, "- it took way longer than it usually does to drive here. So, he was clearly exhausted, he was just waking up when I left the hotel. We're going to skip the game – I figure it's probably not great to be out in the cold – and we need to squeeze in some time with my mom anyway. So, we'll have dinner with her tonight and then be at everything else tomorrow and Sunday."
"Oh, that makes sense," Sam nodded. "Did you want to join us for lunch today?"
"Yeah, when I said I might stop by the choir room, I really had plans to meet Sam for lunch," Mercedes admitted with a laugh.
"Gotcha," Quinn laughed back. "No, I should get back to Ty and see if he wants lunch – or maybe breakfast in his case! I'll see you guys at the picnic tomorrow?"
Sam and Mercedes nodded, and Quinn continued, "If I see anyone else, do I need to keep this news quiet?"
Sam shrugged, looking at Mercedes, who thought for a moment and then said, "I mean, if someone asks about us for some reason, yeah, you can share. But don't tell just to tell, okay? I'm realizing I'm going to really enjoy seeing everyone's reactions!"
Quinn laughed. "I completely understand!"
Note: 2 notes, actually - 1) The title of this story and the lyrics at the beginning come from a Phil Vassar song called Dancing with Dreams. It has made me think of the Glee gang for many, many years, mostly because of the 'wearing our passions, our hopes and our t-shirts and jeans' line - I just picture them in their DSB red tees and jeans and the many other t-shirt and jeans costumes they wore over the years and how, more than anything else, they were all so full of passion and hope.
And 2) I debated for a long time over whether to incorporate the real-life post-show passings into this story and obviously, ultimately decided to do so. Naya's passing is what prompted me to begin a Glee re-watch in the first place this summer, leading to me being able to write again for the first time in years. Ultimately, honoring Santana as a character feels like a way to honor Naya.
