This was it.
Her breath came out short through her lips as her heart hammered heavily in her chest. It had been months. Her emotions had been dragged out long enough. In the span of such a short time El never felt so defeated; so worn out.
Although this time El didn't hate her ex husband as much anymore. It didn't mean she was ready to forgive him just yet, no, it was time to move on. She was at a standstill, a part of her longed to move on and have Mike back in her life but that was what her heart wanted desperately. Her head though, that was a different story, one that pointed out if El chose to forgive Mike would she actually ever trust him again.
Could she ever look past the affair? All those secrets that seemed to unravel the moment El decided to open her eyes. El blames herself though, Mike had always been someone she could trust. Hell, Mike made it pretty god damn clear to the whole town of Hawkins that she belonged to him just as much as he belonged to her.
And because of that, because of his heroic actions and romantic gestures, it just made everything shatter around her. Her relationships broke within months, her family worried about her and it was El's responsibility to pick up what was left of herself. But she's never done that before, because Mike never let it get that bad.
She was half a person without him; half a heart and half a soul and that's when she realised that wasn't how it was supposed to be.
Yes, she couldn't deny she'd always love Mike and that no one would ever compare. But love wasn't supposed to be ugly, it wasn't supposed to make us grasp at our chests in pain. No, love wasn't like that at all but what El had to figure out for herself within those months was that love wasn't a fairy-tale either.
Love can be beautiful. So beautiful that it can consume you, it's like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders when your around them. The smallest things matter all of a sudden; it starts with little glances, touching hands, shy first kisses and then finally their touch begins to burn.
It burns and burns when there not around you everyday, when there side of the bed is empty. Your throat burns and your lungs ache because the tears just won't fucking stop. The pain is excruciating and doesn't seem to ever end, even when you try to pick up the broken pieces in your life, your still remembering the reason behind all this mess.
And the reason is because of her.
El used to blame her for everything. Why wouldn't she? She was the reason for their broken marriage. That's what she'd remind herself over and over, it couldn't be anything else but that. But she was wrong, it hadn't just been all of Emily's doing.
No, Mike had a big part of it. With his doe eyes and charm that left every girl either congratulating El or sending envious glances her way. But this time it hadn't been just glances, or passing smiles between Mike and another woman. El knew that she couldn't stop girls from admiring him, he was beautiful, El knew that wasn't what most wives would call their husbands but it was just the truth.
Everything screamed out beautiful when you heard the name Mike Wheeler. Between his toothy smile to his alluring presence he was simply just that word; beautiful.
Her beautiful boy.
Well, was, but in her mind she'd always refer him as just that. Hers.
El's head snapped up at the sound of his front door beginning to open. El nearly doubles over as she takes him in, breaths him in. It's him, it's really him. She didn't know if he'd answer her. As he stood there silently, his hand twitching at his side as though he was desperate to touch her, El knew he still felt it.
There connection was somehow still there.
With a shuddering breath she collected herself before he could see she was beginning to slowly crash down at the sight of him. She squared her shoulders and met his eye before murmuring the words;
"We need to talk."
AUTHORS NOTE;
Here's a little updated tease for u all.
I'm sad, have boy problems of my own, so I hope u liked it. :(
L x
