El's eyes flickered around her bedroom with uncertainty. She stared at her reflection through her bedroom window, her gaze never faulted as she saw herself finally. She looked better this time, slowly but surely she crept off her bed sheets and made her way towards her bathroom.

She took a deep breathe, her fingers working there way through her hair. Brushing and pulling away the messy curls that hung low around her. A muscle twitched in her jaw as she noticed her eyes were red raw.

"Come on El, pull yourself together." The words ushered out of her breathlessly.

She lifted her chin, a determined look edged its way across her tired face. Without a second thought, she reached for her mascara that was daring to be used. Applying it with ease, she then reached for her concealer and got rid of the tired circles that never seemed to leave her eyes. She wanted today to be good, to be better, for her sake. Last night weighed heavily on her mind but this time she wouldn't let it affect her like before. A forced smile made its way to her lips, her heart thumping heavily against her chest.

She blinked back at her reflection, she hadn't taken pride in her appearance in so long. She wasn't sad at what she saw though, months before all of this she looked withered away. A shell of the person she once was, but now, she started to look human.

How a nineteen year old girl is supposed to look.

She turned away and headed for her closest this time, her eyes quickly skimmed over with uncertainty before something caught her eye. A soft smile made its way across her feathers, she pulled out a soft pink dress. It was made entirely of silk, with small details of lace surrounding her neckline.

It was perfect.

El stood firmly as she pried the dress over her shoulders. It hugged her figure, making her look heavenly. It latched onto her, her waist looked dainty as her breasts peaked through the silk. She felt sexy, for once she didn't need Mike's reassurance or love to feel this way about herself. Her eye's were burning at herself, and with such force she pushed herself from the bathroom counter and into her bedroom once again.

She reached for her purse, not daring to look back. If she did, she would stop dead in her tracks. She knew wouldn't be able to do what she was about to, she would continue to mope beneath her sheets and sob uncontrollably and she was beyond that now. She grew tired of that, of being the same broken girl she has been for the last few months.

She grabbed her keys now and headed for the front door with such urgency it made her heart skid with want. She yearned to feel wanted, for someone to want her so badly the way she had been with her ex husband. She wanted that desperately and today she was going to get that. The door closed with such force that El had no time to react as her steps grew quicker and faster towards her car door. She swiftly opened the door and the sound of the ignition turning on erupted abruptly. Her tired burned as she pulled out of the drive way in one go. She was on a mission, that she knew. Whatever drove her to this moment, there had to be a reason for it.

El felt breathless as the car drove further and further away from the only familiarity she knew, her home. Her bed that she spent every waking moment in, laying there at night wondering what she could've done to prevented all of this. All of this pain, that left her insides raw and her breathing hitched every single time. She had to get out now.

She drove with uncertainty, yet excitement was bubbling within veins. She welcomed the feeling with open arms and the car now became faster as the destination grew clearer with each passing moment. Without even remotely thinking, she pulled the car to the side and quickly parked before marching out. Her steps were rapid and her breathing hitched, she ignored all the glances she was receiving. She knew she looked crazy, but she didn't seem to care anymore.

Her vision cleared as her brain read over the sign. Happy Peats was sprawled across a bright neon light. It grew closer and her excitement grew along with it. She knew the shop hadn't opened just yet, it had only turned morning an hour ago. But her heart begged her to come here, and for once, it hadn't involved Mike. She took the goddamn leap of faith and now here she was.

Looking desperate and utterly insane.

Her hands were clammy as she knocked once; twice; three times now but she didn't seem to care. Not in the slightest bit. Ben opened the door after the fifth knock and stared at her. A small smile pulled his lips and she returned it willingly.

"Hi." El whispered.

"Hi." Ben ushered back.

"I-," She cleared her throat, playing with the hem of her dress. She licked her lips, "Can I come in?"

He begins to nod slowly, pushing himself off the doorframe. El wedged herself between Ben and the door and breathed him in. His smell was alluring and she liked it. It didn't smell like fresh pine wood, the smell she used to adore. No- it smelled like fresh linen, the small of aftershave arose and her eyes fluttered at him as she squeezed past.

A few seconds passed by as El sat down next to a pile of white Lillie's. She cleared her throat, "I'm sorry I came, I just really wanted to see you." She breathed out, a blush arouse on her cheeks as she waited for a response.

Any answer would've been perfect, the silence was getting to her head. She pushed the feelings away as she saw his eyes widen by surprise. She hoped he wasn't annoyed by her presence, she hoped he wanted her here. Because she knew- right in this moment- that she wanted to be here with him.

She had no fucking clue why.

She continued on. "I know this is all sudden. I don't expect you to understand but." She fumbled with her words, her eyes darting across the shop. She couldn't look at him, not yet. "I. . . I don't know what brought me here. It just felt right. I wanted to ask you something."

He nodded at her, his eyes flickering with something. She didn't know what, put she pushed through the nerves. She was over all this uncertainty, she wanted to feel normal. Isn't this what girls her age did? She wanted to be confident and El knew she looked like a pile of nerves breaking before him.

"Ask me." He pushed on, his steps growing closer to El's shaking form. He was leaning over her now and she began to smell that heavenly scent she drooled for at the shop gates. It made her dizzy and she liked it.

Hell- she loved it.

"Do you want to go to the annual Hawkins fair with me." She mumbled, tucking one of her loose curls behind her ear. She said it so quietly, so faintly, she doubted he even heard her in the first place.

Yet, Ben surprised her entirely.

A grin was plastered across his face, he knelt down and clasped his warm hands around hers. They were at eye level now, but she didn't dare look away and neither did he.

"I thought you'd never ask."

She let out a shuddering breathe, a weight lifted of her shoulders. She felt so heavy, a giggle erupted from her chest and she leaned even closer towards him. They were mere inches apart now, there lips close to touching. The flicker in Ben's eyes continued to grow with each passing moment, she couldn't pin point what it was though.

"I'll pick you up tonight at seven. How does that sound?" He said gently, his bright smile never seemed to leave his lips. She felt giddy inside and for the first time she knew she didn't feel any doubt about her decision.

She nodded her head. Without a second thought, her lips had pressed against his cheek incase he didn't know her answer. Her heart was pounding, she felt like she was so small all over again. "Sounds perfect." She breathed the words out.

Ben arouse from his knees and darted through the store, leaving El all alone to her thoughts. She shoved the wariness aside, pushed the doubt further in the back of her mind.

She heard his steps now, the grew nearer, making there way closer to her with each passing moment that flew past them both. His hands were clasped around something, El blinked a few times before she froze and her heart swelled.

Ben's hands were overflowing with roses of all different shades. There was masses of pink and red roses invading her vision and she wanted to cry but she knew she would look insane if she did.

He knelt on his knees for the second time, his hands grazing against a rose as he plucked one from the large bouquet. He held it out to her, and El took it with ease this time.

"This is for you."

El wasn't used to this. She had never experienced this from another man before, this was all so new, so real. But he was trying for her and for that, she accepted the rose willingly and she smiled down at him.

"Why?" She finally whispered back.

A chuckle filled her ears and his fingers lightly grazed her cheek before cupping it gently. Her brain seized to a halt as her memories from the night before come flooding through her.

Her stupid, stupid dream.

The way Mike had stared at her, holding her cheek, his dark eyes filling up with so much love that old El had wanted to melt and whither away right then and there.

No, hell no, she wouldn't let Mike ruin this moment. He ruined everything beautiful thing she had. Not this, no, she wouldn't let him this time.

"Well," His eye's stared intently into hers, he looked nervous. Just as she was. "Because I want too, because I think your beautiful and every girl deserves a bouquet of flowers. Especially on the first date."

Her chest rose and fell at his words. "Is that right?"

He nodded ever-so-slowly, his jaw clenched as his eyes darted to her lips then back to her. The tension grew rapidly and El couldn't contain herself anymore, she pushed forward and there lips met. A sigh escaped her lips as he dropped the bouquet of roses and both his hands became wedged in her curls.

She let him, she leaned just as frantically against his lips. His lips were so gently yet so firm, she felt something bubbling inside of her.

The kisses grew gentler, Ben's had loosened within her crazed curls but she didn't want this to stop. She wanted all of this to keep on going. She flew onto her tipy toes and pulled his head right back down to hers. Her younger teased across his lips, begging to enter and he let her instantly. A groan escaped his lips and with such ease he lifted her hips and pulled her against him.

Everything around her became nonexistent, she forgot we're she was for a short moment. El was trapped in his never ending scent and his lips. She pushed against him and let all her feelings slide right beneath her.

"Isn't this a sight to see." Joes smile was so contagious that El quickly pulled her lips away from Ben's and froze.

El's legs were still wrapped around Ben's hips. "I," She cleared her throat, her legs detangling from him and she slid down his clothed chest. "This isn't what it looks like."

Joe's smile turned up wright at her response and his brows furrowed. "Oh really?" He chucked, a goofy-like expression now forming on his face.

"Y-yes."

He hummed at that. He started to nod slowly, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he then turned away from the pair and started to head back outside. He craned his neck at them, "I'll leave you two be, don't mind me. I'll be outside if you both need me." He chucked, sending her a wink as he went on his way out the shop door.

Silence now invaded both of them and Ben turned to her. He watched her, he then reached down and picked up the scattered roses that fell once they kissed so brutally. El stared back numbly, standing frozen and unsure of what to do next.

She just kissed him, no not just kissed him. Ate him, swallowed up him up entirely that she could almost breathe all of him in with just one kiss.

"I'll see you at seven," He breathed out, "You look beautiful, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He racked his hands against his hair, a sheepish smile appeared on his face.

"I guess we both got lost in the moment, not that I'm complaining, I loved it actually." They both let out a shuddering laugh. He continued on, "Can we do that again some time?"

El grins shyly at his comment before nodding, "I guess you'll just have to wait and see." She gives him a small reassuring kiss against his cheeks and grasps the roses from his hands. She didn't turn back to watch him as she darted out of the shop.

Cheerful music blared through the mall, and it suited her mood perfectly. That was a kiss she knew would linger in her mind for hours, excitement was building in her stomach and she wanted nothing more for it to happen all over again.

And again, and again, and fucking again.

God, she was screwed.

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