"I have to love myself more than I love him, in order to leave him."
― Kay M. Rutherford
El was nervous, no, giddy.
She cleansed her face, never missing a spot as the scent of fresh lilies filled her senses. The face wash was sweet-smelling, she needed everything to be faultless.
She wanted it to be absolutely perfect, just this once.
She left the bathroom and was standing in front of the mirror that pressed against the wall of her bedroom. She started to watch herself, her cheeks flushed, her wet hair clinging to her. El let go of her towel and glanced at body, her eyes now resting on her breasts. They're rising and falling beneath her touch. El's dusty-pink nipples pebbling out of the cold. She cupped one of them, scattering her fingers across it. She tossed her head back, shuddering. She hadn't touched herself for so long; she felt surreal. She wanted more.
Her mind was envisioning Ben, trying to picture how his body would feel against hers. The way his hands would feel against her breasts, or the way he would make her come with nothing more than a flicker of his tongue against her clit.
She was aching.
She immediately looked at herself, again. Her hands were already going further down, brushing against her thighs. She bit her lip, her legs trembling as she got closer to her pussy. She was blushing now, her heart throbbing against her chest.
Her thoughts began to drift away from her, eventually, finding there way right back to Mike Wheeler.
That stupid, stupid boy.
But, damn it, he knew how to make her come. He knew each angle, every sweet spot of hers; he knew everything about El's body. Mike was the only one who knew the way her mouth hung open when he devoured her pussy. He always looked ravenous every time his gaze landed on her. He would surge at her, he would push her hips down with such force and rock his face against her core.
Never, ever, letting her catch a breath.
He was the epitome of heavenly.
El's chest hurt for a moment; he was her entire being once upon a time. She remembered that; she vowed to follow him anywhere; anywhere. El would have hurtled and blackened anything that would've led him away from her...
That's how much she loved him. If he ever dared to question her, she would have ripped her heart out and placed it on a pretty silver plate; only for him.
She steadied her breathing, her fingers becoming faster as they circled around her, almost in a frenzy. El tried thinking of Ben again, of his scent, of the way he smirked at her. El groaned as she imagined Ben eyeing her hard, his fingers covered with her wetness. The heat in her stomach was building, warmth was pooling inside of her. Her eyelashes quivered as she fell back onto her bed. Her legs were spread, "Fuck," she whimpered, her eye's closing as her hips rocked against her hand.
She was gasping for breath, she was so close to her release.
Fuck, she craved it so bad.
Her pace grew faster, harder, her hips arched up to her hand in desperation. El imagined Mike in her ear, his voice daunting her; "Come for me, Show me how much you want me, sweetheart?"
Her chest hurled forward, one hand was pumping inside of her, and the other was pinching her nipple achingly. She couldn't breathe, she stroked her clit one more time before she soaked further and further down into her mattress.
Holy shit.
El watched in awe as she drew her fingers away from her tender center and watched her come drip down her fingers.
She didn't move, she wasn't ready just yet. Her head turned as she locked at the time. Fuck, it was almost seven. Ben would be waiting for her at the shop, she could already picture him. He would be waiting for her, his hair never disheveled and his eye's brightening at the mere sight of her. She wondered if he would know;
Know that she fucked herself into oblivion moments before meeting him there.
El smirked at that.
She dragged herself off the bed and winced as her pussy pulsed with pain, she hadn't touched herself in months. She had grown familiar with the feeling of nothing. She used to hate feeling tender down there, but now, she fucked worshiped the feeling of it.
El's hair was somewhat dry now. She laced her fingers in her curls and began teasing it with her fingers, she craved to look sexy; no, she wanted to look like she needed to be fucked.
That's exactly what she needed. After what just occurred, she grasped the fact that maybe she wanted so much more.
Even if that meant it was from someone other than her old lover.
She reached her for black stilettos, they were without doubt her finest fuck-me heels. That was the goal, so she strapped them on her before clutching the lingerie that dangled off her bedpost. They were taunting her to be used, she placed them on her as well. It barely covered her, her nipples peaked through the mesh, as for her underwear, it barely covered her. If she moved the wrong way or even bent down too quickly, Ben would see her bare.
That's exactly what she wanted.
As for her dress, the back of her neck pricked as she gazed at it dangling on her coat hanger. El's heartbeat fluttered as she tugged the dress off, holding it against her body. Her eye's jerked forward at the detailing, it was all lace. She knew that this dress would hug every curve she owned. There was a detailed slit that went up her thigh midway, it made El's legs look infinite.
Taking another deep breathe in, she lifted her chin and shimmied the dress over her shoulders and onto her torso. She gasped at the sight of her, she looked beautiful.
Ben wouldn't be able to resist her.
El checked the time again and panicked. "Shit," she cried out, panic rising in her chest. She dashed for her purse quickly, her legs sill a bit stiff in her heels. Without fail, she made it to the front door in one piece. Her frantic steps came to a halt, her eyes drifting to the night sky. She shivered as she tilted her head back to see the little speckles of stars surrounding her.
A sense of stillness flooded through her this time, she felt calm, she felt ready. El turned her head and made her way to her parked car. The ignition had already turned on before she brought her hands to her lips and smiled. The memory of Ben kissing her for the first time made a smile linger on her lips.
A fire sparked within El and for once, all she could think about was;
Ben.
AUTHORS NOTE: Hey guys,
What did you guys think? Do you think we can get upto fifteen comments my loves? I'll be answering any questions you guys give me at the next chapter. I will be replying to all of them :)
I hope you enjoyed!
L xx
