He felt the rip deep inside, where what he used to be and what he is now connected, he felt the tearing as if it was his own flesh being ripped from him, incapable of doing anything but watch and bear it. But his flesh was held together, his body as strong as ever, it was a ghost searing pain in every nook and cranny of his being
He couldn't even feel his own magic any longer, everything was pain, a cold burning his insides worse than fiendfyre.
He feared it.
This is what death would feel like.
The cold emptiness, the dark nothing spreading inside him, embracing him.
He thrashed, fighting with his healthy physical body what his magic couldn't. It did nothing. The coldness spread to his mind and soon he was immersed in darkness.
He was disjointed from himself, separate, away from everything that made him Him. The pain was long gone and what was left was hardly recognizable, everything was blurred almost as if fading, a part of him was frantic, desperate to awaken but too lethargic to move, to understand what was happening.
A flicker of light made him recall he had senses to speak of, he realized he was surrounded in darkness, it wasn't inside him, not yet, he could see the little flicker of light taunting him to follow.
So he followed.
It was a thin thread, warm and alive, he gripped it with all his might and felt a surge of warmth spread so painfully slowly, as if attempting to reach every inch of his being.
His eyes didn't open to reality though, far from it, he was still inside himself, somewhere. Wherever the thread had taken him was slowly coming to focus. It was one of Hogwarts Corridors. No. The seventh floor corridor. Where the room of Requirements hid. Where a part of him hid.
His stomach sank as the full picture of what had happened took full form in his head.
Someone had killed him, killed the diadem, a part of him.
His rage was muted, as if he was screaming underwater, he was so deep in, his own emotions didn't reach him. He walked up and down the corridor attempting to get in, nothing happened.
He tried other corridors, classrooms nothing opened, and everything was empty.
A scent caught him off guard when he moved near the Room of Requirements again, it smelled like summer and nature.He didn't realize his surroundings changing until the walls around him blurred and blurred and became thick tall trees.
He followed the summery scent running, he was scared, he needed to hide, but why would he, the Dark Lord doesn't hide.
His movements didn't stop though until a whooshing sound brought his attention to the sharp flying object going straight to him, his hand moved uncontrolled and with a wave the arrows were stopped by an invisible dome with a slight golden glow.
His feet never stopped moving, and his fear only increased as he heard the sound of hooves coming closer, he didn't dare look back.
His fear turned into relief as he found what he was looking for, he plunged headfirst in the small pond and everything blurred back to darkness...
He felt a rush as he floated in what could only be water, the slow influx of energy warming him until now increased in mere seconds.
He couldn't describe it as anything else but a rush of power, long forgotten was the heady sensation he received as his body was being built by his ritual, this was a thousand times stronger.
It felt untamed, like flying through a storm only wilder.
He remained in that state for a long time, his body soaking up every ounce of power flowing through, he was strong enough to tell by now which connection was feeding him.
But try as he may he couldn't breach it again , the tiny thread he could follow before was too bright to find, it was as present as ever, he could feel it bright and clear, but reaching for it was another matter entirely. It felt like looking at the sun directly and trying to find dark spots.
He pulled back slightly and soaked it all up.
He woke up in his chambers, it took him less than a second to know he wasn't alone, and the thought of someone witnessing his unconscious state only fueled his rage.
It was Bellatrix, cooing and moaning nonsense kneeling at the foot of his bed.
He moved slowly feeling every inch of muscle rejuvenated as if a part of him hadn't just been killed.
He pushed Bellatrix's grovelling form away from him, and turned to the door.
The meeting hall was darkened by night as much as fear, he could almost smell it.
He summoned Nagini to his side and watched as most of his servants hunched in fear over themselves like misbehaving children, he felt disgusted at calling them followers. He used to rejoice in it, but long gone was the time he believed fear was a sign of loyalty.
They had disappointed him greatly, all of them.
"Lucius..." He called softly.
The man flinched discreetly and moved closer with all his poise, he kneeled in front of him and waited silently.
"Seventeen years ago, I entrusted you a valuable object, Lucius...it's time you hand it over." He felt his gut twist as the poor excuse of a wizard's poised demeanor crumbled like a castle of cards.
"Mm...ma...Master, it...it was destroyed... my Lord." He finished his statement in the smallest of whispers.
"Destroyed..." he repeated.
The agonizing screams of the man came abruptly, but with no surprise, they lasted long and then they stopped.
"By whom..?" He snarled at the whimpering man.
"Po...Potter..." Exhaled Lucius, barely holding it together.
"And how did it come to pass Lucius?"
The crying man increased his nonsensical whimpers until nothing he said was clear.
He pointed his wand and abruptly directed his hunching head to look him straight in the eyes. Then he plunged inside his mind, the thought was near the surface since he had been just asked and his ire only grew when he saw the state of his diary.
Any sign of life was ripped away, dead.
The screams started again and didn't stop until he was unconscious.
He turned to Lestrange.
"What of you Bellatrix? Have you misused what your Master has entrusted you with?" He asked, barely raising his voice.
"No... Master.. it is hidden, safely, where no one can steal it, or... Or touch it." She squealed looking at his feet in reverence.
He pulled her down on her knees and clutched her throat without touching her, "bring it to me".
"Y..yes Master." She moved up and ran out of the room.
He disapparated with Nagini outside the run down wooden shack, and slipped inside in silence. Fear gripping him as his magic caught the traces of himself before his eyes caught the evidence.
A huge black spot in the disgusting rotten wooden floor, only made by magic. The place had been vandalized, and the Marvolo ring was no longer.
His death still clung to the air. He screamed in rage and fear.
Another popping sound took him and Nagini to the entrance of a dark cave, he entered hurried and desperate to dissipate his worst fears and flew to the little island where the locket hid under a potion.
He removed the potion and didn't need touch to tell him it was fake, a mere copy. His locket wasn't here.
The spark of fiendfyre that ignited from his wand went in par with his rage. He was been murdered, Killed piece by piece like an animal.
The fire grew and ate away at the little island he had been standing on a second ago.
Nagini clung to his shoulders as he floated over the flames and his scream directed the fire to touch every corner of the cave.
It had been his. His secret and now it was useless. Someone else's mocking message.
Four. Three of his horcruxes were destroyed, another missing.
It couldn't be the old man. Dumbledore didn't know, no one did. Unless they had been told.
He apparated back into Malfoy Manor, summoning every last one of his followers.
He had a Slug to find.
He kept to himself mostly. Everyone was cheerful, too fucking happy. It was Christmas break and Mr Weasly had survived, but no one was questioning how he was put in danger in the first place .
He wanted to scream most of the time, scream that he was sorry he couldn't stop it, that it felt like he did it himself, even though he knew he didn't.
Nina saw it too, she must have, she was horrified herself, and everyday he woke he hoped it would be the day she sent him a letter. A word. A fucking postcard. Anything instead of utter silence.
He found himself holding her stupid diary most of the time as well, opening it to arabic letters he couldn't understand, he lost count of the times he had tried the translating charm and ended up reading english gibberish. He wanted an answer, just one answer, he could be patient for the other hundred until the day she deigned to answer them.
Just the one.
He hid the infuriating thing under his bed and went to hang out with buckbeak for a while.
The others stayed away as well, he was too angry to be around, quick to bite back, but most importantly, he didn't want their eyes on him. He didn't want to prove to himself that they Indeed thought he was a batshit crazy murdering freak.
He didn't notice the form hiding at the top of the stairs, watching him move away from his room. But he'd notice the notebook missing a few hours later.
News came from the Department of Magical accidents and Catastrophes, even though no members of the Order were a part of it. It was in everyone's mouth, the gossip of the season.
Fiendfyre consuming a cave in a muggle beach.
Twelve hours it took to reign it in, another three to stop it entirely, by the end of it, wizards and witches from all departments and all kinds of professions had come to offer their help.Even if it was just to provide food and a place to sleep.
It made his heart warm, to see such kindness in the midst of difficult times. Most refused to address it, but fear was their companion, even if they didn't believe his word, even if they had no reason to believe the Ministry's.
The mere idea of Lord Voldemort being back was enough to spread unease.
He was there to offer help, but his true intentions were different.
This was Tom's cave. The place where his mind showed for the first time the level of wickedness it could reach. This was the place he had intentionally injured a child for life and one way or another he would mark this place as his temple of strength.
After all these years, his speculations didn't disappoint him but they were useless now.
He held the piece of paper open again and read it.
'To the Dark Lord
I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more.'
Signed R.A.B.
The locket fell under a basin, through fate or luck, the metal burned enough to be unrecognizable, but not enough to destroy the message within.
Nina Morgenstern's terrified face flashed through his mind as her eyes made contact with the Marvolo ring. Her words haunting.
She was scared of him, because she could see exactly what he saw in his reflection.
It tasted bitter, this small victory. He had secretly hoped for years to be seen as he was.Far from perfect, a man drawn to power, bewitched by justice and aware of his misdeeds, for he had many.
She was right to take the Queen piece of his board, it certainly felt like he'd lost a valuable piece now that it was crystal clear he didn't count with her trust.
She knew more than he expected and she was steadily moving forward, she was killing Voldemort piece by piece and that also meant killing Harry in the near future.
Perhaps she knew what her task would eventually lead her to.
Would she do it?
A piece of Voldemort's soul connected him to Harry, and his blood to Nina. They were intertwined now and he suspected no one knew to which extent, Nina would never trust him with everything, she was similar to him in that regard, and only she could clarify the depth of their connection.
Harry was already feeling Voldemort's influence, and Nina seemed to have found a way to cloud herself from him for the moment.
He watched them from afar, like two separate pieces connected, always drawn back together, one way or another. Sometimes a shared look across house tables during meals, other times just reassurance that the other was near, or a soft smile. Whatever feelings they had were buried under a mountain of circumstance.
She wouldn't kill Harry.
Dumbledore placed the ruined black thing on his desk and waited for the younger man's opinion.
"It wasn't cursed, whatever substance it was submerged in for so long left a small trace, now it's only a destroyed trinket. Why is this necklace important headmaster?" Asked Severus, feeling the turmoil in the man's stance.
"I don't believe it is important anymore, but all the same we should make sure, do you have any suspicions that Ms Morgenstern had left the grounds at any moment." He asked, lost in his own thoughts.
"Headmaster?" He couldn't help his surprised tone, The old man had been helping with the fiendfyre incident, it was all over the prophet after all.
'Dumbledore suspected to cast Fiendfyre, is this an attempt at gaining back favor and sympathy from the wizarding community?'
The headlines blamed him of course. He repeatedly reminded him what a bad idea that was, to be seen at a catastrophe spot when a big part of the Ministry was only looking for a way to fire him from Hogwarts or send him to Azkaban, or both. He clearly had other things in his mind though, like the burned to hell necklace in front of him.
"Did she Severus?" He asked sharply a second time.
"No, headmaster."
He nodded and sat down again looking exhausted.
"I'm afraid Tom has been pushed to act, Severus. He will be reckless, desperate and unpredictable, this can mean a hard downfall or a quick victory." He said leaning back and taking off his half moon glasses.
"Perhaps it's set in motion", he said and continued when the old man motioned him to.
"Something happened the night Arthur was attacked, the Dark Lord fell unconscious, riddled with pain, unresponsive for an entire day. I could not determine the source, his body was healthier than most and it remains that way.
He asked for Lucius when he awoke, he wanted him to return something of his that Potter destroyed. He never mentioned what it was, but I'd say it's something valuable. He turned back to Bellatrix and asked her to bring what he'd entrusted her with. Then he dissaparated for half an hour, came back and summoned all his followers to capture Professor Slughorn alive and conscious."
The old man had leaned in mid explanation, eyes fully open, long gone was the exhausted old man he saw a few minutes ago.
"When was this?" He asked.
"Fifteen hours ago"
"We'll do the same then." He said smiling in triumph for some reason.
"He's an Old Potion Master, what could he want from him?" He asked, astonished.
"It matters little Severus, our focus now must be keeping him as far away from his goal as possible. I'll send a message to the Order."
It looked like the exhaustion and worry had vanished, it actually worried him at times the sanity of this man. Genius as he may be he acted like a lunatic sometimes.
"There's something else,...Magorian reported an intruder today." He said without much hesitance.
"Miss Morgenstern saw fit to enter Centaur territory and stay there for almost twenty four hours." He spat out, still disbelieving.
Dumbledore stood slowly from his chair, his mind clearly too busy to react, "Did Magorian specify where?" He asked sharply, turning to him.
"The pond"
The old man chuckled softly, "clever girl, yes, very clever."
"I certainly find it stupid headmaster, she is of age and Magorian threatened to claim her, the agreement you have with the herd could be taken as illegitimate, treasonous, if we follow the current political climate. He has no reason whatsoever to follow your orders, and if it reaches the Ministry."
"You think they would abide by the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures?.. My boy, they're laws were made to insure their extinction. Our agreement is beneficial to him."
"Well he clearly doesn't believe it anymore since he had set his eyes on one of the students."
"Miss Morgenstern has her own agreement with them Severus, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to leave unharmed... If I dare say, Magorian's eyes might have seen further than ours do, it seems as if his abstinence of all things involving wizarding kind disappears when it comes to Miss Morgenstern." He explained, waiting patiently for him to understand.
"He was trying to keep her away." He whispered slowly after a few seconds.
"The pond's magic is natural, wild, Miss Morgenstern might have succeeded in overwhelming her connection to Voldemort, but their connection is still wide open, I'm afraid some of it might have leaked through. He should've been weaker by now."
"Weaker?.. how?"
The old man only smiled, "leave it to me Severus, I already give you more than your fair share of responsibilities."
He frowned at the old man.
To guest: I understand your impatience to know everything at the get go, but I don't like putting all my eggs in one basket, I find it suits me better to uncover details about my character slowly, I think it gives a reader time to know them. I hope you kept on reading because the answers come in later chapters.
