I hear the honking but next thing I know, someone had their arms around me and pulled me back

"are you okay" said a man with his arms around me. I look up and see a brown hair, brown eyed man holding me

"what kind of moron just stands there in the middle of the road?" he says and I break.

I hug the man tight and cry.

"ah what's wrong?"

he sounds concerned but I just hold him while I cry harder. I feel him rub my back

"its okay kid" he says.

"sorry" I say finally pulling away from him.

He lifts my face up and just looks at me "what?" he shakes his head

"you look like someone I used to know, anyway what was that?" he asks

"sorry I was just thinking"

"about dying? That car would have hit you"

I shake my head

"I'm sorry"

"stop apologizing, here"

he takes my hand and pulls me

"what?" I ask

"you are coming with me and we are calling your parents" he says dragging me

"They are dead" I say in a low voice

"oh, your guardian then"

"I'm 19, I don't need one"

"you look 15"

"well sorry for being short" I say to him.

He chuckles

"come on then" he says still dragging me behind him

"you can let go"

"I just pulled some kid from getting hit by a car and then he cried on me for 15 minutes, I am not stupid enough to let you go"

"where are we going?"

"my place, I will make you some tea and you can tell me what you were thinking"

"its stupid and I do not know who you are so let go"

"Takano Masamune, who are you?"

"Takahashi Misaki"

"now we know each other so come on"

this guy is pushy but I follow him. I do not get the creepy vibes from him and maybe it would be nice to talk to someone who doesn't know anything about me. We arrive at his apartment

"sorry for intruding" I say to him

"I hardly thinks this counts as intruding now sit"

he points me to a couch, I take off my shoes and sit there and wait for him

"okay now here is your tea"

he hands me the cup

"so tell me what happened"

I take a deep breath

"it's a little complicated"

"as are many teenage problems, so get to the point"

"someone who I may sort of like at times, is in love with my brother, my brother is getting a divorce and told me he had a crush on said person and so now they are going to get together and live perfectly happy lives"

I sip the tea. He is just looking at me

"hmm" I sigh

"I know I am a horrible person, I should be over joyed for both of them. I care about them so much that I should be doing everything to help them get together but"

"why do you have to be happy for them?"

"my brother is all I have and my whole life I have been nothing but a burden to him. I killed our parents, he gave up university to raise me. it's all my fault" I say pulling my knees to my chest

"that's stupid"

"what?" I yell at him

"how did your parents die?"

"they were coming to get me and I asked them to hurry. If I didn't ask them to hurry and speed then they would still be alive"

"has your brother ever said he blames you?"

"no but I blame me"

"how old where you?"

"8"

"it wasn't your fault you know, accidents happen"

I sigh

"I have heard that many times, doesn't change how I feel"

"have you tired talking to said person?" he asked.

I shake my head

"he loved my brother for 10 years, he got married and then he put those feelings on me. I always knew I am nothing more than a substitute toy"

"you are way too young to have this amount of self-hate"

"hey!"

"trust me I know"

"you do?" I ask him.

He sighs but moves to the couch I am on to sit next to me

"I was in a dark place when I was your age. Drinking, partying, not caring about anything, all because I hated myself because someone who said they loved me, abandoned me"

I look right at him

"I can see where your path is going and it is a dark one, a good friend luckily was able to help me out of it or otherwise I would have been standing in front of that car"

I drink some more tea.

He looks me over

"so Takahashi-kun are you in school"

I nod

"yup I go to my brothers dream school and I am taking economics "

"is that what you are interested in"

"it is what he wanted to take"

"that's what I thought, what do you want to do after school"

I blink at him a few times and then look down

"no idea" I sighed

"seems about right, you live the life your brother wanted, not the one you want"

"I just don't want to be selfish"

"how is living your life selfish? Do you honestly think your brother cares so little for you"

"no he cares about me a lot

" "then what do you want with your life?"

"well, what do you do?" I ask him

"editor-in-chief of the Emerald department at Marukawa Publishing"

"you work for Marukawa" I ask him.

He nods

"wow, you must love your job"

I laugh

"I work there part time actually, my landlord editor got me a job there"

"oh who is your landlord"

"Usami Akihiko"

he blinks

"I am a fan of his"

I nod and finish my tea

"how did you end up living with him?"

"well he is best friend with my brother"

"oh he is the one"

I flinch at that

"huh?"

"he is the one you are sulking over"

"well I mean"

he looks at my hands

"its okay, I am not judging you"

"thanks"

"but I still think you should talk to him, that is what grownups do"

I nod

"you make it sound so easy"

"it really is"

"no its not"

I wave my arms in the air

"I do not want to talk about it"

"then you are going to make yourself feel worse"

I sigh

"I just cant"

I feel my phone buzz.

"if it is him you should answer" I sigh but decide to listen to him

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"at a friends house why?" I ask him

"I am going to see your brother; I may be gone for a few days"

I feel tears run down my face. Takano-san raises an eyebrow at me

"okay I will see you when you get back" I say while smiling

"are you alright"

"yes of course, tell Nii-san I said hi and I am sorry"

"Misaki maybe you should come with me"

I feel myself freeze

"I have school and work I can't just leave, make sure to bring your lap top you have a deadline coming up"

"alright"

"bye"

I hang up before he says anything. Takano-san rubs my head

"he is going to stay with my brother for a few days" I say crying again.

He continues to rub my head

"well you said they are best friends"

"yeah but they are going to be together when he comes back"

"are you sure of that"

I stand up

"I need to come up with a plan, maybe I could try living on my own"

"do you make enough for that"

deflate a little bit

"well i will make it work" I say

"I think you are jumping the gun; he is going to see your brother not marry him"

"well yeah he isn't divorced yet, I don't want to live with them if they are together, it would hurt too much"

"he loves your brother that much to toss you aside without a second thought" I nod

"ten years he loved him, wouldn't you do the same?" I ask him.

"no"

"what really?" I ask sitting back down beside him

"I tried to use people to forget the one I lost and it ended badly. Using people is cruel, if I was dating someone, I wouldn't just up and leave them. I would do what grownups do, talk about it"

I roll my eyes

"thank you oh wise one"

he chuckled

"if he leaves you, then he wasn't the one. You're a cute kid, you will find someone else"

I nod

"thanks"

he nods and takes my cup

"I guess I should head home"

"want to watch a movie?" he asks

"it wouldn't be a bother"

"I am not convinced that you are okay, I think you are good at hiding it. I was like that, so we can watch a movie and I will make you dinner"

I nod

"I haven't had anyone actually cook for me in a while"

"really?" I nod

"yup, that is my rent basically, I do all the cleaning and cooking"

he nods but goes into the kitchen

"would you like some help? I love to cook" I say with a smile

"sure"

and we both cook a simple dinner together. It's nice being in the kitchen with someone who isn't trying to feel me up every few second. I freeze at that thought, I guess that is over as well. I may fight it but I do like the hugs. I shake my head

"thoughts?"

"yeah" he looks me over

"so where do they have you working at Marukawa?"

"I hop around"

"do you have interests there"

"Manga" I say

"really"

"oh yeah my favorite manga is made there"

"which one?"

"The Kan i have been a fan since it came out"

he nods

"have you worked in that department?" I shake my head

"I got to meet Ijuuin-Sensi once but he was so busy I doubt he would remember me. I wrote him a fan letter back when I was in high school as well"

he nods

"if you are working there part time have you thought about working there when your done school"

I shake my head

"no not really"

"if you like it you should think about it, luckily you still have time"

"true"

"but I wouldn't wait until the last minute if I were you"

I nod

"you can always come to my department to shadow me if you want"

I brighten up with that

"what really? that would be so cool"

I smile at him

"I am mean" he warns

"so?" I tilt my head to the side

"okay"

we go to the table and eat

"after the movie I will drive you home"

"oh no that's okay"

"no I will drive you home, do you work tomorrow"

"yeah after classes" he nods

"good I will clear everything so you can work with us, it is the start of the cycle so you shouldn't be in the way"

"thanks?"

"you will understand when you work a full-time job with deadlines"

I nod. He picks a comedy and I find myself laughing

"here I will put my number in your phone"

"okay"

we switch phones

"call me if you are feeling depressed"

"oh I do not want to be a bother"

"then call if you get depressed. You would be more of a bother if you didn't call and made me worry about you"

I nod

"okay" I say softly and he takes me home

"now remember call if you are upset or text or whatever you kids do now a days"

"I'm pretty sure you are not 50 so don't talk like an old man"

"I'm 27"

"oh that's not old at all"

younger then Usagi-san.

"this job has age me" I laugh

"not a selling point for working there"

I get out of the car and wave him away. I look up at the apartment. I sigh and go up to it. I wonder if nii-san will get Usagi to get rid of all his toys and random stud. Probably not nii-san will probably so the same as I do. Care for him and everything in the house. I unlock the door and see everything is how I left it. I clean up the dishes I left after I took off this morning.

I hum while I do the dishes, I finished my homework last night so I am all good for tomorrow. I decide to text Takano-san just to let him know that I felt a little sad but I cleaned up to make myself feel better and now I am going to bed. he replied okay I will see you tomorrow. I smile and sleep soundly.