Senpai is oddly trying to cheer me up.

"it's not the end of the world, was the guy who saved you cute?"

"Senpai!

" "well?"

I nod

"well I guess he would be more handsome then cute"

"see go for him"

"what! I just met him

" "so?"

"that's too fast"

"Usami-san gave you a hand job the second time you met him"

I turn red

"fair point but he is not that pervert"

"he is probably doing the same to brother right now anyway"

I freeze, I have been trying to not think about that. I look down at my lunch.

"I was mainly joking"

"but you are probably right"

i finish eating and take out my phone.

"I am feeling sadder now than I did all day. My Senpai brought up a good point about he and my brother are probably doing right now and I feel the need to throw up" I type to him.

"don't let your mind wonder, focus on your classes, you need to build a good future for yourself, not worried about what someone else is doing" he replies

"thank you"

"text me when you are here and I will come and meet you"

"okay"

I smile and head to my class which sadly for me is with the demon. I keep my head low and listen as much as I can. I do not want him to throw chalk or a book at me today. I smile as I leave school. I think today has gone good so far. I am trying not to think what Usagi and my brother are doing. It is none of my business, they can do whatever they want. I shake my head and get on the train. Do not think about it, do not think about it.

I can feel my stomach start to hurt. What the hell is wrong with me. be happy, be happy, be happy. I arrive at work and text Takano-san. He meets me in the lobby

"I cleared it so you will be with us from now on, we need the help and you are free hands"

I nod

"okay what happened?" he asked

I shake my head

"look let me give you some advice" I nod

"check all your feeling at the door"

he takes my hand and leads me outside

"this will help you visualize it"

he pretended to be taking off a coat. I watch him

"now this is mean taking off my personally life and putting one my work one"

he motioned for me to do that same

"we all have problems but we check them at the door before we work, otherwise your work will be half assed and that is something I will never tolerate"

I nod

"okay"

"good now come on"

I follow him instead

"so what exactly what will I be doing?"

"watching, running and learning"

"huh?"

"pay attention to everything, ask questions if you have it. there is no such thing as a stupid question"

I nod

"can you tell my professors that?

" he chuckled

"leave school at the door as well, when you are here it is all about the work"

" yes sir"

"good"

I follow him to a ground of desks. A young-looking man looks up at me

"hello he smiles brightly at me" I smile back

"hello"

"so you are Misaki-chan, the boss told us not to be nice to you just because you are cute"

"what?"

Takano-san hits him on the head with a piece of paper

"that is not what I said not where is your work"

he growled at him

"its coming calm down boss"

he turned to me

"I am Shouta Kisa"

"nice to meet you, do you need anything?" I ask him

"not at the moment, but here let me show you a few things"

I pull up a chair to his desk. He seems nice enough and he explains some things to me. I decide to ask all the stupid question.

"Misa-chan can you make copies for this for me?"

"sure Kisa-san" I go and do so. I come back and there are two more men there

"hello" I wave.

"Hello

" one of them smiles at me but the other looks focused on his laptop. I just sit next to Kisa and do whatever he says.

"so I guess it gets stressful at the end of the cycle huh" I ask

"oh yeah, you will see it" I nod

"Have you been interested in manga for long" asked the focused man from his computer

"oh sorry that's Yoshiyuki Hatori" said Kisa

"well I mainly had love for one but manga's are probably the only books I read"

he nods

"so you want to go into editing after you finish school"

"well I am not sure to be honest, Takano-san was nice enough to let me look into to see if it I something I would be interested in"

he nodded

"Takano-san nice?" whispered Kisa

"he seems nice enough to me, he only yelled at you a few times"

he blinks

"if you think that's nice, I would hate to see what you think rude it"

I laugh

"well it doesn't seem so bad so far"

"so it may be something you are interested in" asked Hatori. I nod

"yeah I want to find something I will be able to pure all my heart and soul into"

"good if you are doing something half assed it is not worth anything" said Takano-san

"anyway your work day is done"

I nod

"thank you so much" I bow at him.

"come here" I walk over to his desk

"what?"

he flicks me on the forehead

"what's that for?" I ask covering my forehead

"today was a good first step, keeping stepping forward, do not look back" I nod

"I will try"

"I know" I give him a smile

"thank you, see you tomorrow"

he nods and I leave and head back to the apartment

"Misaki" yelled Nii-san

"what are you doing here?"

he comes over and hugs me

"I'm sorry about coming over short notice but I wanted to see you

" he smiled at me and I give him a smile back

"I am always happy to see you nii-san, I should get dinner started what would you like?"

I turn into the kitchen and choose to ignore Usagi-san who is sitting on the couch

"anything you make will be good, how was school?"

"school was good, luckily I didn't get a book thrown at me today"

"huh"

"sorry one of my professor is famous for having a short temper but it went well"

"you were at work" I nod

"yup" and I get started on dinner

"so not to be rude or ungrateful why are you here nii-san?"

"oh, I took two weeks off from work and decided to spend it here as long as you do not think it would bother you" I feel cold again,

"of course not nii-san"

i start cooking. I can feel Usagai-san looking at me but I refuse to meet his gaze. I do not need him to look at me and say with is eyes that it is over. I knew it was, I didn't need him to confirm it. I take out my phone

My brother has decided to take two weeks off and we are all going to be living together.

Are you okay?

No

What are you doing?

Making dinner, cooking and cleaning calms me down

You should talk like a grown up

Stop that'

I'm serious.

I know but I cant

Why?

I cant face the pain, I cant deal with it. I just feel so cold

Do not hurt yourself

I am not planning to

Just call me right away if you think you want to

I know

Talk to them, tell them that you are in pain

Never! I want my brother to be happy

Okay then, as soon as you can get a way call me right away

Okay I will after dinner

Promise me

I promise I will call you as soon as I can after dinner

Thank you

I put my phone and finish cooking. We all sit at the table and eat.

"your cooking is always so good"

"thank you, nii-san,"

I smile but I can still feel the eyes on me

"I am so sorry I do not want to be rude but I have a test tomorrow"

"oh of course, I will clean up" he offered

"oh I can do that

" he shakes his head

"don't worry about me, go study"

I nod and leave without looking at Usagi. I go up to my room and lock the door. I sink down to the floor and lean against my door. I keep my promise

"hello" I say calling him

"where are you?"

"in my locked room"

"good just breathe"

"they are going to be all lovey dovey in front of me for two weeks, how am I going to survive it"

"well you could"

"do not tell me to be a grown up"

"I can't believe I am about to say this to a kid I just met but you can stay with me for two weeks"

"what?"

"if you want you can stay with me"

"really?"

"do you want to stay there?"

"hell no"

"then pack and I will come and get you"

"are you sure about this?"

"no but like I said I have been in your shoes before, I do not want you to do what I did to deal with the pain"

"thank you"

"here stay on the phone while I get ready, I just got home from the office you know"

I look at the clock

"that's early"

"luckily today went smoothly but you will see a rough day"

I laugh

"I guess so"

"everybody has good and bad days"

"true"

I pack some clothes and my school books

"I guess is should go tell them" I say to him

"okay I'm almost there anyway"

"thank you"

I hang up and head downstairs

"hey Nii-san" I say to my brother who is on the couch with Usagi-san

"why are you packed?" Usagi asked but I ignore him

"I have a crazy few week coming up with assignments, test and what not so I am going to stay with a friend until it is all over"

I can taste the glare I know I am getting

"oh you don't have to do that if I am a bother I can leave"

I shake my head

"no its okay, you should be with your best friend during this time"

I go and give him a hug

"I am sorry about the bad timing or otherwise I would be there for you as well"

He hugs me back

"I know"

I let go and almost make it to the door

"why are you leaving?"

damn it he followed me

"you should be with him" I say not turning around to look at him

"he needs his best friend"

"that doesn't answer my question

" "how doesn't it?"

"because you just lied to your brothers face, you are running away"

I turn and face him

"I meant it, he needs you"

he narrowed his eyes at me and took a step forward. I took a step back

"what are you not telling me?"

"it doesn't matter I am leaving"

he grabs my wrist

"you are not leaving me for two weeks"

he tightens his hold

"it's not your choice to make"

I try to yank my arm away

"why not" I pull harder

"please" i say softy

"let me go, be with nii-san, you both deserve it"

his eyes soften for a moment

"Misaki I think you have the wrong"

I pull my arm away

"I am leaving"

i turn and leave.

"Misaki!" I hear him yell as I get in the elevator.

I can't help but cry. It hurts so much, it was goodbye. I go outside and see Takano-san leaning against his car. He raises an eyebrow at me "

we said goodbye"

i say as tears run down my face. He opens the door and I get in the car. I feel my phone ringing and it is nii-san

"hey I just left"

"Usagi-san said you were upset when you left, what's wrong"

"I am not upset, he is wrong, don't worry about me at all. Enjoy your time together and I will see you soon"

I hear a muffle on the phone

"come back now"

he growls at me

"no goodbye Usami-san"

I hang the up phone with more force then necessary.

"sounds like a goodbye to me"

I sigh and lean my head against the window

"I am sorry for bothering you with this"

"trust me kid it is no bother"

I nod and look at my phone.

"you wish he would have called you himself"

"he used to tell me loved me all the time but he didn't say it at all since he got that call from nii-san. I could feel his cold eyes on me. I knew it the moment I stepped in and saw my brother. It's over, I am just his best friends kid brother again, I do not how I should feel. I feel so angry and hurt but I just want them to be happy"

he nods

"I get that, but I still say you should have talk to them about it"

"what would I say? Hey Nii-san I am sorry your marriage fell apart and you like the person who loved you for 10 years, but I have sex with him now so can you two just not be together, life doesn't work like that" he rubs my head

"was he your only relationship?"

I nod

"then maybe you should try dating"

"huh"

"do you prefer just men or do you like girls as well"

"I don't know"

"then go on a date with a girl then and find out"

"you think?"

"to honest with you, I would like if you talked like a grown up but that relationship was destined to fail"

"what why?"

"he is an adult and you are still a kid"

"I am not a kid"

"well he has had years of experience and you do not know what you even like. This is the time where you find out about yourself"

I nod

"I guess but girls are scary"

he laughed

"really?"

"all the women I have met scared me or just make me uncomfortable

"so you most likely prefer men, so go on a date with a guy"

"but I don't know if I like guys either"

"did you like the sex?"

"pervert" I yell at him

"it was a question; you were the bottom right"

"if you must know"

"I could have guessed that from just looking at you"

I roll my eyes

"you said dating didn't help you and it was cruel to use people"

"yeah, but you would be discovering yourself, not using someone to get over someone else correct"

I shrug

"isn't it the same thing?"

"no"

"I have no idea about anything"

he nods

"I got that impression"

"but I don't know maybe it is all for the best, his father thinks I am not worthy of him and his brother was in love with me

" "really?" he asked

"yup"

"see looking on the bright side already"

I roll my eyes

"I guess"

we arrive at his building

"some days you will feel like you had no idea why you wanted to be with someone like him and then others you will just want to call him and try to make things work"

" really"

"heart break is horribly complicated"

"tell me you have ice cream?" I whine;

"i do"

"good, where am I going to sleep

" "oh you want just sleep in my bed with me"

I jump back

"huh?"

"don't worry I am not going to do anything to you, aren't you used to not sleeping alone"'

"I had my own room"

"were you two just fuck buddies? The more you tell me the more it sounds like"

I shrug

"I guess that is fair, we never talked about it"

he nodded

"fair enough"

i feel my phone ring

"you should answer it" he said

"I don't want to"

"well too bad be a grownup" I sigh but answer the phone and put him on speaker. I am going to need a coach

"hello"

"Misaki come back now"

"I already said I wasn't going to come back"

"what stupid idea is in your head now"

I flinch and I see Takano-san glaring at my phone. He raises an eyebrow at me

"nothing is on my mind; I just think space is the best thing for all of us right now. nii-san is getting a divorce he is going to need all of your attention, me being there would just make things awkward"

I give Takano-san a thumbs up like I did something

"why would it be awkward, your being stupid, your brother came here because he wanted to be with his little brother but you run away"

I deflate

"I am doing what I think is best"

I hear him sigh "please" he says softly and I snap

"you know what, no, no no,no why the hell are you still even talking to me, he told me he likes you back, be with him. You love him, you pushed all of your love from me on to me because I was the cloest thing you could get right? Well now you have him so stop wasting time talking to me. Make my brother happy, you both deserve all the happiness in the world. That is all I want for both of you, so go get your happy ending"

all I can feel are the tears coming down my face. Takano-san is still just glaring at me phone.

"he said he liked me?"

that is what he says! Not I am sorry, Not okay you're out of your mind, his brain is stuck on that. Takano-san takes the phone out of my hands

"goodbye Usagi-san" I say and Takano-san hangs up

"that's all he cared about?" I ask him. he nods

"that is the part that stuck out to him" I start pacing

"you see, what does talking about it do?"

"closure"

"what?"

"I never got closure which is probably why I was so stuck on that guy, you can get closure and start to heal"

he wipes away my tears

"I don't want closure"

I lean my head on his chest

"I do want to hurt to go away, please make it stop"

I cry harder

"please make it stop"

he rubs my back and brings me on the floor with him.

"if I could take away the pain I would but it will get easier. You need to live your life. Not the life your brother wants, not his dream but yours. What will make Misaki happy?"

he asks me. I lean further into his chest

"ask me for one selfish thing, just one and I will grant it"

"kiss me" I ask him.

He blinks a few times but then leans in and kisses me. I just wanted to feel something, it feels safe, warm and comforting. I pull away and lean back on his chest

"thank you" he rubs my head

"sure thing"

we hear my phone buzzing again and I groan

"do I have to be an adult?

" "no let it ring you gave him enough for one day"

I nod

"thank you"

"its okay, everything will be okay, just take it one day at a time"

I nod