The Lure of Adventure
Six Years Ago
A few years later, Elsa - now aged nineteen - found herself within her father's study, pacing the length of the room and examining everything he had left behind. Agnar's study remained just as it was on the day he and Idunn had left, with maps in disarray and tomes left open where their reader had left them. In the interim that passed, neither Kai nor Gerda could bring themselves to tidy the study of their former masters. Grief-stricken as they were, they had been content to leave the room undisturbed.
When they had been alive, Elsa or Anna never stepped foot in their father's study. Curious though they had been, Agnar or Idunn were always quick to shoo them away, citing that their work was too sensitive for childlike hands. Now, Elsa stood in her father's study. Some small part of her was sure that one of her parents would come around the corner any minute now, chastising her and ushering her out the door. However, when she raised her eyes to the empty doorway, no matter how hard she tried, she could not summon them. Tears began to sting her eyes. Four years later and the hurt had still not healed. Elsa sat at her father's desk, burying her face in her hands and willing, once again, for one of her parents to appear when a voice called.
"Elsa?"
Elsa nearly jumped, shocked out of her stupor by the voice that had called her name. As she looked up she saw it was Anna - now aged seventeen - standing in the doorway and looking at her with plain concern. Anna took one tentative step forward, peering into the room, perhaps also expecting an invisible reprimand from their parents.
"Wha- what are you doing here? I mean, I know what you're doing here, you live here! I mean... I know that you live here, I uh, I meant more like what are you doing here? I was just heading down to the kitchen for a snack when I um... I noticed you? Um... I mean I noticed that the door was open, and then I noticed you. Err… anyways I… uh…" Anna trailed off as she looked around and fidgeted nervously.
"It's okay, Anna," Elsa sighed as she leaned back in her father's chair. "I couldn't sleep and I felt restless, so I walked around a bit and... found myself in here I guess."
Anna looked up in surprise at how Elsa had exchanged a complete sentence with her. Not wanting to scare her off, she carefully nodded as she sat down in the chair across the desk from Elsa.
"I couldn't sleep either," Anna murmured after deciding on the best thing to say.
A moment of silence passed between the two, as the two sisters continued to contemplate their grief in shared solidarity. Anna stood after a few more moments, pacing around the room and examining the various texts, maps and notes that their parents had left behind. On one wall was a map of the world, with thumbtacks in different locations, marking where they had been. Some were connected to each other by threads of colored string, some red, some black, and some blue. Various photographs and notes tacked to the wall adorned the whole affair, making it resemble a large and complex spider-web of bizarre machinations. Reflections of a troubled mind, forever searching and never finding.
"This was their life" Anna said in a small voice to herself. "Their whole lives, running around the world. For what?" she finished as she spotted a final, unconnected pin over their parent's final destination. Italy.
Elsa watched her sister as she examined their parent's work. She turned her own attention to the dusty books that lay on her father's table as she turned a few of their covers over. Historia regum Britanniae by Geoffrey of Monmouth. Perceval; ou, le conte du Graal by Chretien de Troyes. Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory. Idylls of the King by Alfred Tennyson.
"They never stopped believing," Elsa said.
"Remember the stories they always used to tell us?" Anna said as she turned to Elsa, smiling sadly. "About King Arthur and the knights of the round table?"
"Galahad was your favorite," Elsa replied, matching Anna's soft smile.
"Sir Galahad was the best of them all. He was the bravest and noblest. And he found the grail at the end too," Anna continued. "At least he found it before he died."
"I always liked Sir Lancelot," Elsa admitted.
"Lancelot? But he had an affair with the queen, and then rose up against Arthur when he found out."
"He wasn't perfect… he loved Guinevere. And she loved him," Elsa said in a reverent tone. "It was a romance that could never be. Can you really blame them for following their hearts?"
Anna considered that for a moment, noting the pensive and strangely hopeful look that Elsa was regarding her with now.
"Yeah. I guess even the legends are still human after all," Anna said as she turned back to the map wall. "I miss them," she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Me too," Elsa admitted. "I- I don't... I don't know what to do without them."
Anna regarded the wall for another moment, examining everywhere in the world her parents had ever been and realizing how little of the world she had actually seen. Just then, an idea struck her.
"Maybe I do," Anna said. She turned to Elsa now, who was looking at her with a look of wary anticipation. "What if we pick up where they left off?" she gestured to the wall.
"What? You can't mean..."
"Well maybe not there specifically, but think about it!" Anna's mind was racing with possibility now. "I mean, our upbringing wasn't exactly normal was it? Fencing lessons? Conversations in dead languages? Just look around us!" she swept her arms around her in a wide arc, then paced over to a nearby display. "Look! Look at this! This… this is an Aztec sacrificial dagger that mom and dad found in Brazil! What kind of family just has sacrificial daggers lying around?"
Elsa straightened up in her seat with a puzzled expression. "What are you saying, Anna?"
"I'm saying… I'm saying that maybe… maybe mom and dad always meant for us to follow in their footsteps, you know? To carry on the family legacy and all that!" Anna suggested. "Let's face it, Elsa, mom and dad were never the best at sticking around. I think they wanted to share their lives with us as much as possible but they hated being stuck in one place for long."
"Our lives have been a little strange," Elsa admitted. "But can we really just take off? Drop everything and go on some adventure? We've never done anything like this before."
"Well, they were trying to prepare us, right? I mean, why else would they have taught us about all this old stuff? Why would they want us to learn seven different martial arts? They wanted us to be ready!" Anna exclaimed. "Don't you feel it too? That pull? The need to just… be anywhere but here? I can't stand the silence, Elsa, it's been so quiet since they… since they've been gone. I'd give anything to just get away from it all!"
Elsa thought to herself for a moment. It was true that the silence that had settled upon Arendelle Manor following the death of their parents was unbearable, coupled by the fact that she and Anna still weren't on regular speaking terms. It was suffocating at worst, and stifling at best. Elsa understood where Anna was coming from, and had also felt the urge to escape.
"Yes… I do, Anna," Elsa nodded her agreement. "But I- I wouldn't even know where to begin."
Anna grinned excitedly and bounced over to sit in the chair in front of Elsa again. "We have all their old notes and research. All of dad's thoughts are right here in his journal," she pointed to the old leather-bound journal on the desk that had sat neglected. "We can go anywhere. Do anything."
Elsa was still uncertain, not over the decision to take up their parent's mantle but over the logistics of it all. She chewed her bottom lip in concentration as she mulled it over.
"We can figure it out along the way. I know we can," Anna said.
Elsa met Anna's gaze. She was grinning, and her eyes were brimming with hope, possibility, and potential.
At the back of her mind, Elsa recalled her father's words. You have a responsibility to her.
In truth, Elsa missed Anna dearly. It hurt her every time she pushed her away, every time she shut her out, every time she closed herself off. The reaction that Elsa had to the hurt she caused Anna developed into a coping mechanism to justify the distance she always kept from her. Over time, it was the only thing that Elsa knew how to do if it meant Anna was protected from herself. It hurt them both, but in the long run, she thought it would hurt Anna less. Until now.
Maybe I can make things right, Elsa thought. Maybe I can change. To be better. To be stronger.
Maybe now, she could end the cycle of pain. To repair. To heal. Elsa had severed herself from Anna for so long, she knew nothing else but loneliness, fear, and guilt. This was a chance for her to begin again, to start anew, to mend their broken bond. An opportunity to take back all the pain and grief she caused Anna. A chance to erase the doubts and anxieties that plagued her mind.
Elsa made a promise.
"So what do you say? Huh, partner?" Anna asked hopefully.
Elsa closed her eyes, smiled, and then opened them again before nodding once. "Okay."
