One Cantankerous Dwarf Does Not a Company Ruin…..Maybe
Thorin stared at her for a few seconds in complete astonishment, and then smirked, "While your desire to defend your husband is recommendable, you have no part in this conversation."
Jael let out a little laugh, extremely angry, and retorted. "The fact that you think the only female who would defend a male is said male's wife says only that you are sadly lacking both in your education and your relationships. Friends have just as much right to defend each other as spouses."
The rest of the dwarves were uneasy. This little showdown between Thorin and Jael seemed that it would go on forever, but, thankfully, for most, Gandalf intervened.
"Thorin, Bilbo, and company, I am pleased to introduce the last member: Ms. Jael Tolkien. She's come quite a long way to join you..." He smiled, "Across worlds in fact."
That gave them all pause, Jael most of all, because how did Gandalf know: 1) that she was from another world, and 2) her last name. She never told anyone her last name. It just created a huge mess, and she hated dealing with it.
Her attention was brought back to the conversation when Gandalf addressed her.
"It is wonderful to see you again, Ms. Jael. Did you enjoy your trip? I would have welcomed you myself, but I was unfortunately detained."
"Hold on! You brought me here?! Or at the very least, you know how I got here?!"
Gandalf nodded, "Yes, I did bring you here."
Jael's jaw tightened, and she grabbed his arm, dragging him past the stunned dwarves, and an immobile Bilbo, and out into the garden.
"Listen here, Mr. High-and-Mighty-I-Won't-Ask-For-Permission, you better have a bloody good reason for bringing me here or so help me, I will find some way to end you!"
"When I first met you, we had a conversation about the horrible ending of the third movie while still in the theater. That was when you told me that you would do anything to change it. The second time we met was when I followed you to your job and asked you to train those dogs in Elvish. I met you several more times after that to give new instructions…" He trailed off as he saw her darkening expression.
"You were that dapper old man in the nice suit with the sweet grey beard? You were the one who increased my workload by one hundred percent? You brought me here because I said, in the heat of the moment, mind you, that I would do anything to change the line of Durin's end?"
Gandalf paused for a second and then nodded. "Yes, I was."
Jael sighed and put her head in her hands. "Have you never heard of asking? What if I decided to sabotage the journey because I was angry at you?"
Gandalf seemed surprised at the notion that she was angry at coming to Middle Earth. Jael still just couldn't believe that someone thought it'd be a good idea to just rip someone from their home without permission.
After two minutes of staring at each other, Jael caved. Fine! I don't care anymore. I'll help, but….
"I'll help, but I don't know what I'll be able to change. Is that ok?"
Gandalf smiled and said that that would be fine. Slightly relieved, Jael nodded.
Before he could head inside though, she asked, "How long will it take for you to gather enough magic to send me back?"
He paused, refusing to turn around, and answered in a very quiet voice, "Six months."
She stared at him in disbelief as he continued inside. Her loud groan of frustration brought both her dogs to their feet, and in the time it took to pacify them, she had managed to calm down a little. So, telling them to lie back down, she headed back into the house.
Once she was inside, Thorin stared at her with suspicion. Jael sighed, very much annoyed. Although Thorin was her favorite character, his "majesty" turned into stubbornness, high-handedness, and the need to be right in real life. This made him extremely irritating, and Jael congratulated herself that she hadn't already punched him.
However, she was going to be the bigger person, and so…..she completely ignored him, walking right past him to the table where she sat down and began to eat.
Kili and Fili came up to her, with Ori following, and they began to excitedly ask her about the other world.
She answered their questions patiently for a while, and then sighed, "Give me a second. I know I brought…."
She trailed off and headed to her backpack. Please be here!
She exclaimed in relief when her hand found her atlas of the world. Hallelujah! This will help a lot. It's not like I have a photographic memory. How am I supposed to know half of the things they want to know?
She brought the "extremely heavy" book back to the table, stating, "This is a book of my world. It has maps, statistics, facts, etc. about the countries and peoples of my planet."
Jael is adamant that she was not at all surprised by how quickly Ori took the book from her, not at all.
Once the three youngest dwarves were occupied with the Atlas of earth, Gandalf, Balin, and Thorin came over to her to talk to her.
"Are you an experienced fighter?"
"Well, yeah. I can shoot a bow with 90% accuracy on a moving target, and I can hold my own against most males."
Thorin was clearly suspicious, and she sighed, continuing, "I grew up in an orphanage. I was the one who protected them all. I mean, Billy was a nerd, Sam played the flute, George was in drama, and Andy was four-foot-three. None of them would have been any help, so I stepped up."
"And why would you help us?"
She glared at Gandalf who looked innocently back at her. "Someone decided that I could help, and dragged me here. It will take at least six months for him to have enough magic to send me back. So, since I have no way back, and I'm a crazy person who thinks going up against a dragon with only sixteen people will be fun, I'm coming with you."
Although unsure what to think of the fact that she had literally called herself crazy, Thorin could find no other reason to refuse her, especially when Gandalf said that he had had a vision that the quest would fail without her. So with extreme reluctance, Thorin gave in and the fifteenth member of the party was chosen.
Since Thorin had given in, Jael headed back to her plate of food, where Kili, Fili, and Ori bombarded her with questions that she, once again, did her best to answer patiently.
Meanwhile, Thorin turned to Balin who was taking out the two contracts that he had made. He placed one back into his pack, and carefully unfolded the one remaining. "I shall have to change the contract. It was not written with a woman in mind."
Thorin nodded, majestically, but was interrupted by a very unladylike snort. "Oh please, I don't care. I'll sign that contract whether you use male, female, or plural pronouns. It doesn't matter to me. So you really don't have to spend hours or whatever fixing it."
Both Balin and Thorin were taken aback at the thought of not using the correct pronouns, but at the sight of her unimpressed face, Balin turned to Thorin with a questioning look. Thorin thought it over for a few seconds, and then sighed, "Very well."
So, Jael sat at the table five minutes later, reading a contract that was clearly meant for a male, and not caring. Oh, the horror! Seriously though, why would they think they had to change this beautiful contract. The writing is gorgeous. Why can't my writing be this good?!
However, she paused at the aspect of travel money to be provided by herself. She glared down at the contract, and then she glanced at Thorin. She shook her head, having read Stirring the Leaves [an amazing Thorin/OC fanfic by the way!], she knew that he would not help her out with money, especially since she had "undermined" his authority earlier.
So, instead, she stood up and walked over to Gandalf. She cleared her throat, and he glanced up to see her with crossed arms, the contract dangling out of one hand, and looking extremely displeased.
"So, I assume you will be providing me with traveling expenses since you brought me here against my will?"
Gandalf seemed to be in shock at the question, and Jael rolled her eyes.
"Did you expect me to just have money from this world with me? Or did you expect that I wouldn't need anything to take with me? I hate to have to give you an anatomy lesson at your age, but I'm a girl! I have quite a few things that I will need as traveling necessities that males won't consider, especially if this journey takes months."
Gandalf cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "I will provide you with money."
She beamed at him, and he had the strangest feeling that he had just been tricked, even though he knew that she had not been lying to him about the necessities.
However, a snort from the majestic dwarf who was most certainly not sulking in the corner made her frown.
"I assume the money from your world would work here. Gold and silver rarely change their value between regions."
She turned and made eye contact with him and slowly stalked toward him while reaching into one of the pockets in her cargo pants. She pulled out her wallet and unfolded it.
"Look through this."
He took it, puzzled, glanced at its contents, and then raised his head to look at her.
"What of it?"
"That is my world's currency. I assume since you have said that I can use my world's money in this world that you will be exchanging it for me? There is a thousand dollars on one of the credit cards. The others only have about twenty each, and I have five dollars cash. So, may I have the equivalent exchange?"
Somewhat ashamed of himself, but absolutely not willing to admit it, Thorin handed her wallet back to her. "This cannot be exchanged for the money in our world."
Jael rolled her eyes, "No, duh."
However, she decided to be nice, and left him in his totally-not-sulking-corner, and headed to the table to finish reading the contract.
The Dwarvish thing will be a problem, but….he is already in a bad mood, and I am not about to make it worse. Well, if they won't allow a translator….I'll just speak German so they can't understand me. Perks of training a German Shepherd for a German man. Although I don't know much, I can totally fake it.
So, after "much consideration", Jael signed the contract and handed it back to Balin.
"Did you write this? Because it is beautiful."
He smiled at her, "Thank you, I did."
After he had glanced at her signature, he started, "Is this how they sign things in your world?"
He gestured to the initials JRRT, and she sighed, "I mean, I could write out Jael Rachel Renee Tolkien, but I have absolutely no interest in doing so since those four letters are still me."
Dubious, he glanced over to Thorin, who nodded once firmly. "Since everything is in order, welcome to the Company."
Just because there's one cantankerous dwarf, that doesn't mean the journey will be horrible…..right?
