So.

I hope you've been enjoying the story thus far. As usual, thanks so much for all the wonderful feedback you've been giving me. It really makes writing this a pleasure, as I wasn't sure how I'd fare outside of my usual fandom, so thank you so very much for that. Question for you – I've noticed that a lot of writers will end off with a little sneak-peek of what's coming up in the next chapter. I don't tend to do that, but I've been wondering if I should. Does it matter? Opinions welcome.

Take good care of yourselves, okay?

ssg.x.

CHAPTER 12
THE MIND IN AFFAIRS OF THE HEART

Calm yourself, control yourself.

Elsa turned her back to Hans, leaning her cheek against the chamber doors, and let out a long, shaky breath as Hans plucked button after button open along the length of her dress. His cool hands slid beneath the heavy cotton fabric and cupped her shoulders. He slowly peeled her bodice apart like the skin of a fruit, baring much of her back and corset to him. The tips of his fingers traced the trail his lips left almost reverently on her skin from one shoulder to the other. Elsa reached up behind her head and, with both hands, scooped up her long, white hair, holding it aloft to grant Hans better access, showing off the lines of her long, elegant neck and slender arms in the process. Elsa shivered, fighting the deeply ingrained inclination to curl in on herself or cross her arms when she felt eyes lingering on her for too long, as Hans' eyes were doing just then.

He was quiet and perfectly still for so long that she began to worry that she'd been too brazen, and that perhaps it had put him off. She peered back over one shoulder, gnawing nervously on her bottom lip. Hans had taken a considerable amount of footfalls away from her. Elsa let her hair back down around her shoulders. Mortified, she pulled her sleeves over her shoulders and crossed her arms, turning the expanse of porcelain skin that seemed to offend Hans so much towards the chamber doors. Fully facing him now, she was confronted with the unsettling sight of Hans standing clear across the room, wide-eyed, lower lip trembling, and arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"Hans?" Elsa called to him slowly. When he looked up at her, it was as though he'd just returned to her from another world.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice catching in his throat. Worried, Elsa took a few steps towards him but he started shaking his head. "Please don't come any closer."

"Hans, tell me what's wrong."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

Respecting his wishes, she stayed put, concern etched on her face. Hans buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

"Did I…?" Elsa's face flushed. She squeezed her eyes shut, continuing to hold the front of her dress up with her crossed arms. She felt so stupid standing there with no way to button it up. If an icicle fell and cracked her skull open just then, she wouldn't be sorry. "Did I do something wrong?"

Hans' gaze softened and the ghost of a smile lit a fire in the pit of Elsa's stomach.

"Of course you didn't."

"I must have done something. We were…and then we weren't," she stuttered.

"It was your neck," he said, the tears in his eyes shimmering like river stones.

"I don't understand," she said, bringing her hand to her throat. "What about my neck?"

Once the words were out of her mouth, though, she understood. Her jaw dropped just the tiniest bit. As if Hans had read her mind, he gave her a short nod. He was remembering that day out on the fjord. They had talked about it so many times, but at no great length or depth, and Elsa preferred it that way. She didn't want to talk about anything just then. All she wanted was for him to kiss her again and never stop, not until they were both dead, which probably wasn't a long way off. There really was no time to waste as far as Elsa was concerned.

"When I saw your neck, I just…You have such a beautiful neck, and I…" Hans stomped his foot in frustration. Elsa noticed the blast of brilliant blue light splashing out from beneath his boot but tried not to call too much attention to it by staring. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice quivering. His eyes pleaded with her. "I'm so sorry."

There it was. An apology. The one Hans swore he'd never give her.

Damn his timing.

"I'm sorry, too," she said. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Because I can't forgive you."

They stared at each other, wide-eyed and silent.

We really shouldn't talk. Like, ever.

"I…I'm not ready to forgive you," she clarified.

"I see," he replied, his expression unreadable.

"I…um…Is-is that okay?" she asked, flinching a little. "I mean…are you alright with that?"

Hans' eyebrows shot up in surprise and he broke into a smile. She couldn't help herself – despite her nervousness, she found herself smiling back.

"It's only fair," he began gently. "I'm not ready to tell you I think I'm in…I'm…um..." he uncharacteristically stammered.

Elsa blushed. The freeze coiled itself tightly within her, ready to spring forth at any moment. A tremor moved through her as she tried to keep her powers from getting the better of her. She was certain he was going to say what she thought he was going to say – what he almost said to her when they were sitting together on the bed earlier. It never occurred to Elsa that Hans might have any genuine feelings for her. The only real proof she had that he had ever loved anyone or anything was in that box hidden beneath the floorboards.

"Probably for the best," she replied primly, standing straighter and pulling her shoulders back. She began walking towards him. "Because I'm not sure I'm ready to hear it."

Soon they were standing so close again that she could see nothing beyond him and his dazzling green eyes. It was right where she wanted to be. He leaned into her ear.

"What are you ready for?" he whispered thickly.

Elsa stood on the tips of her toes, using both hands to pull his head into a fierce kiss. He pulled her body tightly against his, reciprocating the kiss with the same intensity. The snow they stood almost knee-deep in began to rise from the ground and orbit around them. Elsa smiled against Hans' lips as she lightly scraped her fingernails down the length of his chest and stomach. She tugged him towards the bed by the waist of his trousers. He gasped and let out a little laugh at her cheek. How marvelous the experience of not being afraid for the first time in what seemed like forever felt, even if it was probably fleeting.

She was starving and exhausted, and at her wit's end with worry over what might come to Arendelle as a result of her egregious error in judgment coming to this kingdom alone. She knew it wouldn't be the last mistake she'd make. She'd fallen in love with the one person in the world she had no business falling in love with, and over the course of only a few hours - after giving Anna such a hard time for having once done the same, no less. With the same man. And that was before he had left her to die and tried to chop off Elsa's head.

But those thoughts, those feelings, were fleeting, and now the only thing Elsa was sure of just then, the only thing that mattered as far as she was concerned, was that she needed Hans. She would wrench what little control she could in these dire circumstances. She would wrench it out of Hans.

They handled each other a lot rougher this time around. Hans rather impatiently yanked the bodice of Elsa's dress down around her elbows, practically pulling her arms out of the sleeves himself. She was just as eager to rid herself of the dress as he was. The sound of fabric tearing gave Hans just a second of pause, but it could have been a whistle in a windstorm for all Elsa knew. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears – she could hear little else.

Once the dress was in a bundle on the floor, Hans sat down on the side of the bed. Elsa shimmied out of her petticoat and kicked off her shoes. Hans pulled her towards him so she could stand between his legs. He turned her around slowly, sucking in his breath. One hand ran up the back of her corset.

"This looks like it's going to be complicated," he said. Elsa looked back over her shoulder at him to read his expression. He smiled at her. "But worth the trouble."

Elsa exhaled, returning his smile with a small one of her own.

She wondered if he'd ever seen a woman undressed this way before, or if his measured, breathless exploration of her body was because it was her he was seeing undressed. If he was nervous, he certainly wasn't showing it. His hands on her body were steady. He toyed with the hem of her drawers, and, before she was ready for it, he latched on to one of her nipples with his teeth through the thin fabric of her chemise. She cried out in pain, then drove her hands into his hair and pulled his head closer, wordlessly encouraging him to do it again. How something that hurt so much could feel so good she couldn't quite explain. She climbed into his lap and straddled him, placing a hand over the mark on his chest and delivering an icy jolt to it. He sucked in a breath through his teeth.

"Minx," he growled against her breast.

He kissed the long, white neck he had called beautiful, then cradled the weight of her white hair in his hand, weaving it through his fingers before closing his fist around it and using it to pull her head back. He decorated her throat and collarbone with exquisite, open-mouthed kisses that left her feeling so weak, if he wasn't holding her up she would have ended up a pile of useless limbs on the floor. He was hard, and this time Elsa was able to recognize it for what it was, and how they could mutually benefit from it. She wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, rocking against his erection, setting a rhythm for Hans to fall into. He pulled her down to increase the friction between them, and Elsa moaned his name. He kissed her ferociously, his lust for blood finally being put to good use as he snagged her bottom lip between his teeth and buried his nails into the flesh of her naked thighs. Elsa kissed him back with equal ardour, tasting blood – hers, or maybe his. She pulled away from him and he leaned back on his hands to watch her unfastening his trousers and undergarments with trembling hands.

"What are you thinking right now?" Hans asked her hoarsely.

"I'm not," Elsa admitted coyly, bravely slipping her hand into the opening of his trousers and grazing the as of yet unexplored appendage beneath it with curious fingers. Hans' breathing hitched and Elsa felt so incredibly powerful just then. She squeezed him - hard – and sucked very slowly and deliberately on the tip of his tongue. Hans groaned and grasped her around the waist, practically throwing her down on the bed beside him, then rolling on top of her. He hooked his thumbs into the waist of her drawers and tugged them roughly down her stockinged legs. Elsa yanked his trousers down around his hips and kicked the drawers around her ankles off her feet.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Hans asked, settling very solidly between her thighs. In response, Elsa closed her eyes and, lifting her head, kissed him softly. For several long, luscious moments, they exchanged kisses and nothing more. She forgot who she was, who he was, where they were, the circumstances that brought them together, and those that would ultimately tear them apart. It was bliss edged in black, but Elsa greedily pocketed every single detail of it. There would be plenty of time for harsh realities later.

He began to push into her slowly, gently instructing her to relax, to breathe deeply. He asked her if he was hurting her, to which her answer was a simple shaking of her head. She was beginning to feel a little lightheaded, regretting being in too much of a hurry to be with Hans to let him unlace her corset. Her heart was hammering against her ribs. He continued to move forward inside of her, and she began to worry that there might be too much 'him' and not enough 'her' to accommodate his full length. Tears sprang to her eyes and Hans kissed them away.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Please, no," she whispered. "Don't stop."

Hans looked unsure, but he slowly began to move inside her. Elsa wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her back. "Don't stop," she said again, this time with enough conviction to make it sound more like the command she wanted it to be rather than a mere request. The feelings of discomfort had almost all but vanished, an incredible feeling of rapture taking its place. He was no longer a foreign entity invading her body – he was a part of her now.

"Then I won't," he said thickly, a conceited little smile on his face. "Not until you beg me to."

Elsa was about to laugh at his arrogance when he suddenly thrust into her with so much force that she saw stars. She cried out his name and dug her nails into his pelvis. He kissed her hungrily, absorbing any other noises she might have made with his clever mouth, driving into her harder and faster. She encouraged him to slow his pace with a firm hand on the small of his back, summoning him back from a feral edge. Their coupling balanced precariously between agony and ecstasy, and she wanted to do her best to keep the scales from tipping one way or the other, at least for now. But she couldn't deny that she loved seeing him undone this way.

"I'm sorry," he panted. Elsa, following her instinct, began moving her hips in circles around his length. "God, that feels good," he chuckled breathlessly. The impish grin that accompanied it set her heart racing. She reached up and held his face between two trembling hands, unsure whether or not she was about to make a huge mistake.

"I promise you'll never be alone again, Hans," she said, pressing her forehead to his. Hans pulled back to look her in the eye, mouth agape, breathing heavily.

"You don't mean that," he whispered, eyes suddenly filled with an immeasurable sadness. Elsa stroked his hair, gazing into his eyes earnestly.

"I swear it," she insisted.

Hans' shook his head. A tear traveled alongside the bridge of his nose that Elsa wiped away softly with icy fingers, leaving a faint trail of frost and lace behind them.

"A hell of a time for you to tell me that," he said, sniffling.

Elsa frowned and bit her lip.

"I'm sorry. I know it came out of nowhere, but I just…I needed to say it. Did I just ruin everything?"

Hans cupped her cheek and smiled, running his thumb across her bottom lip.

"Impossible, Your Grace. I think you just made it better," he whispered.

He kissed her with more tenderness than her heart could bear. She kissed him back, whimpering when she felt him stirring inside her. It wasn't long before he was filling her completely again. She hooked her ankles behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He slipped an arm under and around her hips, using it to change the angle of his thrusts just enough so that he struck a spot deep inside her that launched Elsa's body into a frenzy. She bucked against him, the combination of euphoria and unexpectedness stealing her breath from her, and, for a few seconds, she panicked that she'd never get it back. Soft grunts of effort spilled from Hans' lips as he continued to drive himself into her. The sound of his voice kept her grounded; reminding her that she was tethered to something - something safe. She relaxed and acquiesced to the pleasure his body was giving hers, barely recognizing her own voice as she begged him to drive into her harder.

He did.

She felt herself tightening around him, the entire lower half of her body tensing, her legs practically a vice around his back as she arrived none-too-gently at her completion. Within a few short thrusts, he was right by her side, Elsa's name on his lips. Her legs went lax, releasing him from their binding. Once his arms gave out, he dropped down beside her on the bed.

His fingers reached across for hers.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," Elsa nodded, even though his eyes were closed and he couldn't see it. "Are you?"

"Mm-hm," he murmured. He gave her fingers a squeeze. "Had you…?"

"Done that before?"

"Yes."

"Of course not," she said indignantly. Her eyes darted in his direction. "Had you?"

Hans shook his head. "No."

Elsa's eyes widened with surprise. "Really? But you –"

"Seemed to know what I was doing? Remember what I told you? You take control, whether you think you're capable of handling it or not."

Elsa and Hans lay silently side by side for a while, catching their collective breath, letting what they'd just done sink in. Hans was the first to break that silence.

"I won't hold you to that promise you made," he said quietly.

Elsa sat up and leaned over him, concerned. "What do you mean?"

Hans looked away. "I mean people sometimes say things when they want something from you – things they don't mean. And once they get what they want -"

"Well, then it's a good thing my parents raised me right," she grinned. "I keep my promises."

"Low blow," Hans smirked. He reached up and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her back down beside him. "I like it," he growled into her ear. "Do it again."

Elsa stuck her nose up in the air. "Fine. Your lips are too thin."

"Your eyes are too big for your head."

"Your chin is too big for yours."

They both burst into fits of laughter. Elsa ignored the nagging voice in the back of her mind that told her to enjoy these few intimate moments with Hans as much as she could, because they could very well be her last.

We're getting out of here alive if I have to reduce this palace to a pile of rubble and wood chips, she thought, nestling against Hans as he reached across the mattress to pull some blankets over them. It was the last thought she had before falling into a heavy, desperately-needed sleep.