Tue, Dec 3, 1811 – Longbourn, Hertfordshire
Musical Accompaniment: Search for Oh Industry Beaches


If Elizabeth thought that somehow, by some wild stretch of the imagination, that her mother and sisters had followed her father's clearly stated instructions, she was to be sadly disabused of the notion. As soon as she walked out of the office, she was accosted by her youngest sister.

"La, Lizzy, your Mr. Darcy is certainly a foul-tempered sort. I am glad I do not have to marry him. Imagine if he is that bad in the hallway, how bad he will be in the marriage bed," Lydia said with a giggle.

Kitty added, "Yes, Lizzy. I imagine you need to work out a way to improve his manner. Maybe –"

Elizabeth gasped in shock. It was not big surprise that she had the two stupidest sisters in Christendom, and two that would be in at least the top half for cruelty, but this seemed far beyond the pale.

With a menacing growl, she yelled, "Lydia Bennet! Kitty Bennet! Those are the entirely stupidest words ever to come out of your despicable mouths, and that is quite a boast. How can you even say something that cruel? How can you even think it? How do you even know what goes on between a husband and wife?"

Ignoring her completely, Lydia said, "La, Lizzy, you are as bad as Mary. Harriet told me about it. She says that Colonel Forster –"

Elizabeth stamped the floor, which did not shut her sister up, so she walked two steps closer and stamped down on her toe.

Lydia let out a great cry. "Mama, Lizzy just stomped me. She is horrid. She deserves to be stuck with that horrible Mr. Darcy."

Mrs. Bennet entered the hallway waving her handkerchief. "Lizzy, what in the world has gotten into you. You have secured the richest man ever to pass through this neighborhood, and all you can do is pick on your sister. I am ashamed of you!"

Elizabeth growled, wondering how in the world the day could possibly get any worse. She rounded on her mother. "I retract my opinion, Mother. Here, a minute ago I thought Lydia was the stupidest female in England, but now you have taken the crown for yourself."

Impervious to all censure, Mrs. Bennet said, "Oh, leave off Lizzy. Have you any idea how good of a match you made, with not a bit of initiative on your part. I do not like to complain, but I must say how you vex me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves. You had the man in the palm of your hands, and it fell to me to secure him. Now, he is yours. Imagine, a house in town! Every thing that is charming! Ten thousand a year! Oh, Lord! What will become of me. I shall go distracted."

Unable to believe her ears, Elizabeth stomped over to her mother. "I have not agreed to marry him, and I shall not."

Not to be dissuaded, the matron said, "Oh, leave off, Lizzy. So, the man is bad mannered! What of it! You can work him. I will tell you all the right ways to do it. You deliver him a son and he will probably leave you alone entirely – though I hope you can do a better job of that than I have. All will be well. You are just too stubborn to see it, but he is a strong man. If anyone can make a lady out of you, he is the one, but he has his work cut out for him."

Elizabeth hissed, "I am already a lady, Mother! I fear Jane and I may well be the only ones who can make that claim in this madhouse."

The elder continued as if nothing at all had been said in reply. "Just think of it, Lizzy. You will be mistress of one of the grandest houses in the land. 10,000 a year and probably more. What pin money you will have – what jewels – what carriages – what parties. Think of the entertaining you can do, or if you wish to be a martyr, think of the charity you can bestow. You landed in the perfect situation and all you can do is whine about it. Well, I for one have had enough of it."

Elizabeth let out another frustrated growl, but her mother took no notice. "Now, Lizzy, you will have to invite your sisters to town. You can throw them in the path of other rich men, and I am certain you will have plenty of pin money to set them up. I would bet my dear Lydia can probably attract a very wealthy man, and Jane, well, Jane shall have a peer."

Shaking her head at the sheer insanity of her mother's drivel, Elizabeth strode across the room, stood toe to toe with her, and hissed, "I have something to say, Mother! You will listen!"

"If you are going to be that way, go ahead and get it out of your system. We need to get you dressed and go into Meryton for some better clothes. Mr. Darcy will not find your present wardrobe suitable at all."

Elizabeth stared at her hard. "Here is what I have to say. I will not marry that man. I will not be trotted through Meryton like a prize heifer. I will not listen to the gossips of this accursed village pick over the bones of the destruction of my life. I have been sent to my room, and there I shall stay."

Panicked about her loss of status if she could not show her daughter around, Mrs. Bennet snapped, "Now you just wait, Missy. You are still a member of this household, and I am still its mistress. You will do as I say. Until you say the words that will put you in Mr. Darcy's care, you are in mine, and you will follow my instructions."

Elizabeth just stared at her mother, and hissed, "No, I will not. Let me tell you how it will be. Listen …"

Mrs. Bennet snapped, "You do not dictate …"

Losing all patience, Elizabeth gave her mother a small rap on the knuckles with her fist. It was not hard enough to do any real damage, but hard enough and public enough to lay down the gauntlet and say that she was serious before she continued, "… Here is how it will be, Mother! You are chaining me to a man who is disagreeable to start with and is justifiably angry about how he got cheated of his own life's ambitions. He has already bruised my arm. I do not imagine he did it on purpose, but it is something he can do entirely by reflex without even thinking, and I hate to think of what he will do if he gets his dander up."

"Now –" Mrs. Bennet started, but Elizabeth just held her hand up to show she would slap her again if necessary, then held it until her mother stopped talking.

Elizabeth snapped, "As I said, he is a vain, proud, disagreeable man. If I am forced to marry him, it does not matter how much my pin money is, because you will never see a farthing of it. I will cut all ties with you. If I see you on the street, I will walk the other way. If you greet me indoors, I will cut you direct. If I decide to have any relationship with my sisters at all, it will be by my choice."

"I never!" gasped Mrs. Bennet.

Elizabeth turned and stomped from the room, unwilling to listen to her mother's ramblings anymore.


Elizabeth was just entering her room when Mary stopped her. "Lizzy, may I speak with you?"

Not quite willing to abandon all civility, Elizabeth gestured to the door, walked in, and turned expectantly to her sister. Mary had always been a bit of an odd duck. The poor girl was stuck between the two tight groups of siblings, trying to find her own way. Elizabeth respected her as a sister, and usually thought Mary to be a slightly different sort of silly from her two youngest siblings, but she hoped her sister would eventually grow out of it.

"Lizzy, I wish you to understand something Fordyce says. 'Remember how tender a thing a woman's reputation is, how hard to preserve and when lost how impossible to recover; how frail many, and how dangerous most of the gifts you have received; what misery and what shame have been often occasioned by abusing them!'"

She looked at Elizabeth as if she was expecting some sort of reaction, but Elizabeth just waited for her to get it over with.

"I do not think you understand how precarious our position is, Elizabeth. It is not our place to pick and choose. God has given man dominion over women for a good reason. If your father has decided that Mr. Darcy is to be your husband, it is your place to go meekly and make a good home. It is not for Mr. Darcy to get over his anger at how things came about. It is for you to ease his suffering through careful application of the womanly arts. Men are made for decision. Women are made for comfort."

Elizabeth growled, "I retract my earlier assertion, Mary. At this moment, I believe you could give Mother and Lydia competition for the role of the stupidest woman in England. You really believe God has created me in his image to have me owned and degraded for life because my parents are lazy?"

"I believe you are just looking on the worst side of things. They say some people see a glass half-empty and others see it half-full. I think you see it as half-empty, with dirty water, that you would not drink anyway, even if you were dying of thirst, just out of spite."

Elizabeth shook her head. "Mary, Mary, Mary – that was – that was – well, to tell the truth, it was an amusing turn of phrase, and I commend you for it. I recommend you spend more time with amusing anecdotes, and less time with your Reverend Fordyce. I think the man is a blithering idiot, and if you want to do something for me, you can refrain from mentioning his name ever again within my hearing."

Mary gasped. "You are being entirely selfish, Elizabeth," and in the first bit of true spirit Elizabeth had seen in years, she continued stridently. "Why should you pick and choose, and make the rest of us suffer for your mistakes?"

Angry herself, Elizabeth walked closer and somewhat menacingly hissed, "They were not my mistakes. Let us review, shall we – I danced with a man at a ball. I asked him a question about a mutual acquaintance. He dragged me into a corner to shout at me, and our mother engineered a vile compromise. Where is my culpability in that sequence?"

"You are always so sure of yourself and impertinent Lizzy, I am surprised he did not drag you off for some discipline sooner."

Elizabeth's eyes shot open at the blatant stupidity of the assertion, and wondered if somehow Mary, Kitty and Lydia only had one functioning brain between them.

Taking another tack, she asked, "So then, if Father decides you will marry Mr. Collins, you will meekly go along, quoting Fordyce as you go?"

Mary shuddered at the question. While everyone in the family thought Mary and Mr. Collins might actually match, Mary had had taken quite a terrible aversion to the man right from the start, and it had gotten worse over time. Elizabeth had been trying to protect her sister from the greasy little rector for days … mostly by attracting his attention away from her sister.

Elizabeth saw Mary struggling with the hypocrisy of her position, as she would almost rather die than marry Mr. Collins; but then she saw the moment her sister resolved the ambiguity in her mind by simply rephrasing it in a way that would allow her to ignore the contradiction.

"There is a very big difference between marrying a man of the first circles, and marrying a pompous, smelly and ignorant clergyman, Elizabeth. Mr. Darcy never asked anyone else in the neighborhood to dance, so you must have employed some sort of arts and allurements to entice him. You are just mad because you have a disagreeable man for a husband, instead of the mooncalf you no doubt hoped to attract."

Elizabeth gasped in surprise at the sheer audacity of the assertion. "You think I enticed the man?"

"Yes, absolutely," Mary replied forcefully, unwilling to back down from the assertion, adding, "You teased, argued, cajoled –how can I say it. Your behavior since he came into the county could not be seen as anything but flirting. You are just angry because it did not end the way you wanted it to."

Elizabeth just stared at her sister. "I have no idea how your mind works, Mary. I really do not. If you think I was flirting with that cretin, well I just – I just – I – well – I mean …", then she just shook her head in confusion, before finally continuing, "… I cannot continue this conversation because we are not even speaking the same language."

Mary, standing up straighter than she ever had, get right in Elizabeth's face. "Do your duty, Elizabeth! You say you do not want to pay for Mother's actions – well I do not want to pay for yours. None of us do."

Elizabeth scoffed. "So, much like sheep, everyone is perfectly calm about the sacrificial lamb, so long as it is not them."

Mary just said, "Do your duty and quit whining!" then turned and stomped out of the room, while Elizabeth slammed and locked the door behind her.