This came to me in the shower (not the bath). I thought it was funny, but humor isn't my strong suit so hopefully it's at least entertaining.


Robbie was running late to lunch. He had paid the price for Rex backtalking some hulking student he didn't want any beef with and was thrown headfirst into the closest trash bin. Once he climbed out and cleaned up, he ran to get the cupcakes he promised Cat then rushed down the hall toward the Asphalt Café. As he started to pass the Blackbox, he stumbled and glanced down at his undone shoelace.

"Jiminy, I could have fallen and broken something. Or worse, I could have crushed Cat's cupcakes," he grumbled, crouching to set them down and tie his shoe. He heard a muffled grumbling from his backpack and rolled his eyes. Rex was being a smart aleck again. Which was why he was stuffed in his backpack in the first place as punishment. He shifted his backpack from his shoulders to the floor and unzipped it, freeing Rex.

"Ugh, finally! I can breathe!" he gasped dramatically.

"Well, if you didn't get me in trouble with those hooligans you wouldn't have-" Robbie started to chastise, but Rex silenced him.

"Shut your trap. You hear that?" he questioned, head turning to the Blackbox. Robbie fell silent and listened. There were familiar voices coming from behind the closed doors. He closed his backpack and slung it on his back then stood up with Cat's cupcakes in one hand and Rex in the other. He approached the door hesitantly and stopped, far enough away that the voices hadn't cleared enough.

"What are you doing standing there? Listen in, Rob!" Rex ordered.

"It's probably private," he reasoned.

"Yeah, so? That's when it's good!" Rex encouraged. Robbie shook his head and stepped away but froze at the very familiar laughter. Bright and sunny. Tori.

"Vega, quit squirming! You wanted this!" a harsh voice joined in, taming the laughter.

"You touched a ticklish spot."

"Whatever. Just relax."

Robbie had never heard Jade go from peeved to relaxed so fast. Her voice almost sounded…soft. Gentle.

"Are you sure we should be doing this now? Lunch is about to start."

"You've been bugging me all day about how much you wanted this."

"Yeah, but sometimes you do it too hard, and I…"

There was a moan and Robbie felt his cheeks warm. He unintentionally leaned closer to try and catch Tori's fading words. Jade's answering chuckle was smug.

"I know, but you like it that way," she teased. If Robbie was blushing, he could only imagine how Tori was fairing. He absently plucked at his shirt.

"Yo, Rob. Do you realize what we're hearing? We just hit the jackpot! Now we can hold this over the wicked witch's head and make her listen to us," he whispered. Robbie frowned at that. Jade was mean, but she didn't pick on him nearly as much as she used to. Probably because unlike him, Tori could get her to do just about anything without bribery or blackmail.

"Well, after the first time I was really looking forward to it, but I didn't think it would be at school," Tori replied, sighing wistfully. Jade chuckled at the following groan.

"Yeah, and aren't you happy I suggested it? Actually, don't answer that. I know you are."

Robbie bit his tongue to stop himself from squeaking. He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be overhearing such a saucy conversation between his friends. It was private.

"Besides, you're terrible at it, so the only way I can enjoy it is if you do," Jade continued.

"Sorry," Tori apologized through a small groan. It would have sounded more sincere if she wasn't currently enjoying said attention.

"Don't worry about it. I have a few things you could do to make it up to me," Jade assured.

"Hot damn," Rex commented a little too loudly. Robbie hastily slapped a hand over his mouth.

"You know, if you're so concerned about getting to lunch in time, we could always pick this up at my place."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"As much as I'm enjoying this, food sounds so good right now."

"I know how much you love your food, Tor. Let's get you something to eat so I can have you all to myself once we get out of here."

Tori cheered then the sound of a shifting chair sliding over the hard ground signalled that she was on her feet.

"Mwah!"

Robbie's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. Lips on cheek most likely. At least he thought so.

"Ugh, Vega! Less spit!" Jade complained. Tori only laughed.

"Come on! Most of the good stuff will probably already be gone!" she urged. Footsteps headed for the door at a quick pace.

"Run, fool!" Rex commanded. Robbie almost tripped over his own feet in his rush to flee from the scene. Years of running from bullies allowed him to fly down the hall and burst outside in record time. He paused to catch his breath, glance over his shoulder to make sure an angry Jade wasn't close behind. Then, as calmly as possible, he walked toward their shared table. He took a seat by Cat and set the cupcakes in front of her. She celebrated loudly and announced to everyone what Robbie gave her, kissing his cheek in gratitude. He sat back and enjoyed the attention as well as Cat's enthusiastic joy with a smile. It was even cute watching her stuff her face with the chocolatey confections.

"Look at you, getting to listen in on some action and then getting some yourself," Rex praised.

"Shush!" Robbie silenced him, slapping a hand over Rex's mouth again. Rex bit him and he yelped, pulling away.

"Don't shoosh me," he scolded with a shake of his head. Robbie was just about to retort when Jade and Tori sat down. He couldn't help but tense in his seat, nervous that they would somehow find out what he had heard.

"Hey, guys!" Tori greeted, sunny as ever. Jade plopped down next to her and just nodded a greeting. Everyone returned it and they struck up a conversation. Robbie silently watched Jade's interaction with Tori and the others. She didn't look angry. In fact, she looked content and completely uninterested in anything other than Tori. Her usually sharp gaze roved over the other girl's face, studying and admiring. Much like Robbie's own tendency to watch Cat.

"She ain't so wicked when she looks like that, huh?" Rex remarked. Robbie nodded. Tori was a good influence on Jade, and vice versa, as strange as that was. The first time he heard they were dating he almost couldn't believe it. Then he saw their PDA firsthand and was shocked that such a thing was actually true. And now he had heard things. Private things that should only stay between couples. He bit his lip, wondering if he should come clean.

"I don't like that look," Rex said, staring at him.

"What look?" he inquired, feigning innocence.

"You can't act for nothin', Rob. You also can't sit there and tell me you aren't thinking about telling them what we heard," Rex said.

"But it was private," Robbie whined, as if that was the only reason he needed. Rex scoffed.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you thought it would stay private when Jade had to help you out of your sister's skinny jeans because you got stuck taking them off when you started to chafe your-" Rex began, only for Robbie to shove him in his backpack. That was a memory he had a hard time living down. He was so mortified. Even though Jade readily helped him, his payment was her teasing him about it openly for all to hear. His sudden decision to shut Rex up drew the attention of his friends.

"Uh, well, it was your fault I didn't finish homework last night!" he quickly thought up, yelling into his bag.

"What?" Rex's confused voice came from within. He ignored him and zipped the bag closed, dropping it at his feet. When he looked up, everyone was still looking at him.

"It was just a small tiff," he explained with a wave of his hand. He laughed nervously and avoided Jade's pointed gaze. She already looked suspicious. The brief eye contact with Tori only showed her concern. Slowly, everyone fell back into conversation and Robbie was left to his own devices. He let out a relieved sigh. The bell rang minutes later, and he jumped up, quick to get to class. Jade's presence alone was making him anxious. By the end of the day, he was relaxed again. He headed out and crossed the parking lot, a pep back in his step, but he skidded to a halt when he saw Jade blocking his path. Her arms were crossed, and a frown pulled at her lips. It was all very normal except for the way her eyes bore into his. She knew! She had to have figured it out and she was there to threaten him or outright stab him with her scissors then and there! He cringed at the thought.

"Hey there, Robbie. Heard anything interesting lately?" Jade addressed him, playing at nice. Her voice was friendly enough and so was the smile she fixed on him, but her eyes held the truth. She was not happy.

"Hey, Jade," he forced out weakly, raising a hand. She came to a stop in front of him. He fought not to take a step back.

"Man up! We have ammo now!" Rex smartly commented. Jade's eyes locked on Rex. Robbie held him close, defensive and protective. He had already lost one too many limbs by Jade's hand.

"For once the puppet is right," she admitted.

"Ha!" Rex exclaimed.

"Shut up!" she snapped at him. His mouth clicked shut. Jade returned her attention to Robbie.

"I know what you heard, Shapiro," she acknowledged, arms unfolding to drop to her sides. Robbie's scared gaze dropped with them, spotting no scissors, just clenched fists. Those were just as bad.

"I should pop your tires and make you walk home for eavesdropping. Or maybe I could make you play scavenger hunt with Rex's limbs," Jade began to threaten, taking a step closer. Robbie squeaked, his eyes closing as he flinched away.

"But I won't," Jade stated, stopping close enough to intimidate him but remaining in place. He cracked open an eye when he realized she wasn't going to attack him.

"W-what?" he stammered. Jade sighed.

"I would…but Vega told me it wasn't nice. Besides, it wouldn't be fair. Here you thought you were perving on us, when really all I was doing was giving Vega a massage," she revealed with a shrug.

"A…huh?" Robbie got out, confused. Jade chuckled, punching his shoulder in a playful manner. It hurt a bit, leading Robbie to believe that she was still getting back at him in some way.

"Yeah, she loves them. Like putty in my hands. Her neck and back have been hurting recently, and I was trying to help, but she was distracted by food. As always," Jade casually explained with an eyeroll and shake of her head.

"Oh, so…you aren't going to beat me up?" he checked.

"Nope," Jade confirmed.

"So…I can go?" he asked next, pointing over her shoulder at his means of escape.

"Sure," she agreed with a nod, stepping aside. He cautiously started walking and had just reached his bike when Jade grabbed his shoulder in a tight grip.

"Just keep in mind, if you try to listen in on us again, even if it's about the most boring topic in the world, I will give you a new haircut and Rex will be in a far worse state than anything that has happened to him before. Got it?" she warned.

"Got it," he squeaked, voice faint.

"Good," Jade said, letting him go with a harsh pat on the back. She turned away and took a single step only for her to stop. Robbie immediately froze on the seat of his bike.

"Besides, what you were thinking? That comes afterwards. We wouldn't want you hearing that, now would we?" she taunted, shooting a smirk over shoulder. His jaw dropped and she laughed, sauntering away. Robbie tried hard not to think about the implication. He really did. He knew a trap when he saw one. Especially when it came to Jade. So instead, he thought of anything else as he made his way home. But he could only stay distracted for so long. In that moment when he allowed himself to think about the shenanigans Tori and Jade got into behind closed doors, he was grateful for Jade's inability to read minds. And with some luck, she would be driving Tori home right about now, so even if she could, she wouldn't be able to run him over. He mentally added Tori to his list of things to be grateful for and peddled faster.