It was like a cavalcade of gunmen all shooting at once.
The footsteps, quick and ferocious, drawing closer and closer with every passing second. There were some gasps, of course, even a few exclamations of surprise and shock, but none of that mattered. It would've taken a train to stop him, and even then there was no guarantee that he'd be derailed completely. Slowed down, definitely, but even with a body full of shattered bones, he'd still find a way to crawl forward to spread his rage with the rest of the world.
It could've been anything, truthfully, from the most minor inconvenience to the most grievous dishonor upon his family. There was no issue too great nor small to incur his wrath, and no matter how ridiculous he may have been at times, the sheer ferocity contained in his relatively tiny body was rather impressive.
That relatively tiny body practically ripped the sliding door out of alignment when he threw it open, and he gripped the sides of the doorway so tight it was a wonder he hadn't ripped chunks of them off.
"Morinaga!" he shouted, his orange eyes all aflame with anger, his breaths coming in fast, ragged pants.
With a soft, invisible sigh—he didn't need any of that anger getting turned on him, after all—Tetsuhiro set down the test tube he'd been holding and turned toward the door. "Yes, Senpai?"
"Have you heard it?" he asked, his voice practically a growl.
"Heard...what, exactly?"
"The news!" he shouted.
"What news?" Tetsuhiro asked. "There's a lot of news, you have to be more specific."
"The news from America," he hissed, once more throwing the sliding door shut. "In California?"
Tetsuhiro thought for a moment, then said, "Oh, about gay marriage—yeah, I think I saw something about that recently."
"How dare they?" he growled, stomping angrily through the lab. "I knew Americans were obnoxious and disgusting, but this? This of all things?! It's downright obscene! And it's in California, no less—it's like they're just trying to piss me off!"
They absolutely were not trying to do so but Tetsuhiro knew better than to say that out loud. This was Souichi Tatsumi, a first-year doctorate student in the agricultural science department of N University, but most people knew him as a devil, tyrant, slave-driver, or some other title. Not only was he infamous for having an extremely volatile temper, he was notoriously hard to work with and near-impossible to please, which had resulted in the dismissal—and mental breakdown—of many of his assistants over the years. Tetsuhiro had definitely had his fair share of stress and strain in his time under Souichi's reign, but after almost five years, he'd gotten fairly used to it—though getting hit by a book or a beaker didn't hurt any less than it had the first five times. At least Souichi remembered his name now.
Along with all his other glaring character flaws, however, Souichi was also incredibly homophobic in every sense of the word. He'd always expressed disdain for the gays, but a combination of almost being sexually assaulted by a male professor as well as his younger brother moving to America and starting a relationship with his landlord had only exacerbated things further. And now, learning that gay marriage had been legalized in California, which just so happened to be where his brother and his lover lived, he was absolutely livid. Yes, this was Souichi Tatsumi: a crass, unstable, violent, homophobic tyrant.
And the man that Tetsuhiro had inexplicably fallen for.
It had all started early on in Tetsuhiro's freshman year. He was just walking about campus after class when he saw him, one of the most beautiful men he'd ever encountered. His eyes were a beautiful shade of orange, covered by a pair of rounded glasses that gave him a scholarly look and complemented his thin features. His hair was a lovely shade of ash blonde that stretched down to his slender waist, and while he was fully clothed at the time, Tetsuhiro knew his body was toned underneath. It had taken relentless, incessant pushing, but Tetsuhiro had managed to secure a spot as Souichi's assistant, the perfect position to bask in all of his graceful, scholarly beauty.
Oh lord, how wrong he'd been.
Souichi's rage continued for a good portion of the day, and though it had quelled enough that Tetsuhiro hadn't had anything thrown at him, it was still alive enough that he'd gotten a verbal thrashing more than once. At least nothing had ended up broken this time.
Souichi let off steam very vocally and very aggressively, but Tetsuhiro chose to just lament in a bar instead, like a normal college student. Most college students weren't doing so in gay bars, but he'd always seen gay bars as a place of refuge, especially after things had gotten messy with his parents back home, so when he'd moved to Nagoya for school, that was one of his top priorities. He'd found a home in Adamsite, a small but nice place just a few blocks away from his apartment, and he'd found a friend in Hiroto, one of their bartenders, with whom he shared most of his woes.
"And you say he didn't break anything?" Hiroto asked. He had both elbows propped up on the bartop and held his chin in his hands.
"I thought for sure I'd have to clean up a pile of glass, but no, nothing broken," Tetsuhiro replied. "Just a lot of yelling. I'm surprised we didn't get a noise complaint."
"Well, based on everything you've told me about your senpai, that's kind of like a death sentence."
Tetsuhiro chuckled. "You're not wrong."
"Oh, little Angel," Hiroto sighed. "He's got you completely captivated—it's such a shame, really. You used to be so playful, but now you just drink your fill and leave alone every night. At this rate, you'll actually become an Angel—and I never even got my turn with you, either!"
He rolled his eyes. "You're exaggerating. Besides, you're not really my type, anyway."
"Oh, what, am I not angry enough for you? How you even fell for him is still beyond me—based on everything I've heard, he absolutely hates our kind."
"It would seem that way," Tetsuhiro said, "but I am kinda skeptical, to be honest. I mean, if he really hates gays as much as he claims, then why keep me around, especially after I came out to him and confessed my feelings? We even kissed! Granted, he vomited shortly afterward, but he still let me stay on as his assistant."
"Well, I feel like anyone would have a hard time letting you go, even someone like him," Hiroto said. "You're a hard worker and very pleasant to be around overall. Who knows? Maybe one day he'll feel the same about you."
Tetsuhiro had been considering that since the day he'd seen the man, but with each passing year, what hope he'd had seemed to dwindle away ever further. It was almost five years at this point—did love have an expiration date, he wondered? Even after he graduated, after they parted ways forever, would Tetsuhiro's feelings remain the same? Or would they gradually fade away, as if they'd never even been there to begin with?
"Those are pretty lofty hopes," Tetsuhiro said, swirling the ice about in his drink. "I may be tall, but I don't think I can reach them."
Hiroto cast a glance to the side, then leaned even closer. "Hey," he whispered. "Come to the back with me."
"For the last time, Hiroto, I'm not going to sleep with you."
"Not that," he said. "I have something I want to give you."
Admittedly he was confused, but rather than question it, Testuhiro decided to just follow him back to the room where employees could stash their personal belongings. Hiroto set about unlocking one of the little lockers lined up against the wall as Tetsuhiro stood behind him.
"You know my birthday's awhile away, right?" Tetsuhiro asked.
"Of course I do—this is just a gift I want to give you as a friend and trusted confidant." He withdrew a glass bottle from the locker and presented it to Tetsuhiro. "Here you are—a tool to aid you in your quest for your senpai's heart."
Furrowing his brow, Tetsuhiro took the bottle and examined it. "What is it? Some kind of alcohol?"
"It does contain alcohol, but that's not all." He lowered his voice to a whisper and said, "Let's just say that it helps them get drunk with pleasure."
Tetsuhiro stared at the bottle for a few moments, then widened his eyes and shoved it back. "No way—I'm not gonna drug him!"
"Come on, what's the harm?"
"There is a lot of harm," Tetsuhiro said. "I can't just give this to him—that's rape! Besides, even if I used it on him, there's no way I'd live to tell the tale. They probably wouldn't even be able to find my body!"
"Oh, quit overreacting. It's just a little something to sweeten the mood, that's all!"
"Look, I appreciate the gesture, I just...I don't wanna violate him like that. It's not right. Besides, he literally almost got raped less than a year ago. What kind of person would I be if I took advantage of him, especially after I was the one who saved him in the first place. The fact that he let me remain his assistant after I came out to him is relieving enough—I don't wanna ruin things just because I haven't had sex in a while."
Hiroto rolled his eyes and stashed it away once more. "Fine, fine. God, you're no fun. I'm just saying, if you ever do want to let off some steam, I know firsthand just how strong this can be, and I'm definitely not opposed to trying it out again."
Tetsuhiro sighed. "You never give up, do you?"
He shrugged. "You'll never get anywhere if you're not proactive. The same applies to you, Angel. If you don't do something, things will never change. It's been almost five years—do you think your heart can handle a sixth?"
It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about that, too. Beyond just being pent-up sexually, he'd definitely felt emotionally stunted as well. He'd tried to engage with others, and though he'd had some casual encounters early on, those had all but dried up, too. Was clinging to an unrequited love worth it, he wondered? Or would his heart just shrivel up again, the same way it had done the first time?
"Let's just go back to the bar," Tetsuhiro said. "I want another round."
Hi everyone, glad to see y'all again. I told myself I wasn't gonna dive into doing another long, drawn-out Fanfiction series again, but in typical me fashion, that has clearly backfired.
Koisuru Boukun was one of the first yaoi I ever read and the series that truly got me into the genre. I was absolutely obsessed with it in middle and high school, and even now, at college age, I still go back to it every now and again for nostalgia purposes. However, even though I do love the story, I cannot ignore how absolutely terrible Souichi and Tetsuhiro's relationship is from a moral standpoint. It started out with rape, there was heavy manipulation and blackmailing early on, and the amount of miscommunication or just lack of communication in general was astonishing. So I decided that I'd rewrite the story with a much healthier dynamic and properly address the intense internalized homophobia that Souichi clearly suffers from in the manga. Don't get me wrong, I still love the original and respect Hina-sensei to no end, but yaoi is a genre that is FULL of problematic writing and negative stereotypes about gay relationships, and I feel like our boys deserve better.
For now the plan is to rewrite and re-tell the story up through at least Volume 8, which is where the main storyline technically ends, but I have no idea how often I'll be updating this, so please bear with me. Regardless of what happens to my motivation, though, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Be sure to check out my other fics as well if you're interested!
~Anton
