A/N: For those of you who didn't see the update at the end of the last chapter, here is something that was brought to my attention: Apparently, there is a cannon child NPC in Genshin Impact named Ella Musk, who has a special one-time quest tied to her . I was unaware of this while naming my Ella character, as I basically pulled that name out of a hat.

Now for the reviews:

HarmonyDST05: I am planning on Simon getting an assistant in the future. More than one, in fact. My mentioning of the 4 legendary-ranked items in his inventory wasn't as random as it seemed.

Akurar – I'll think of adding that function at a more advanced level of [Murder of Crows]

Jackx321 and Noxynox– I had it so Simon chose the RE4 Merchant because he was horrible with character customization. The only reason he went all "Creepy Edgelord" at the end of the last chapter was because the quest specifically said "Make a cool entrance." I hate edgelord characters and would not subject anyone to that torture by reading this.

Robot-x-Laserbeam – I'll think about it.

ON WITH THE STORY!


I finally made it to the edge of the forest an hour later. The sun had already gone down, leaving the sky to be dominated by the moon and stars. It was a safe bet that if I were to try to pick out any of the constellations from back home, I would fail for two reasons. The first was that this was obviously another universe where the formation of the cosmos went more than a little differently.

The second reason was that I'd never bothered to learn the constellations in the first place.

Ignoring that tangent of thought, I turned my attention to the wide-open space before me. It was covered in grass with random patches of flowers dotting the landscape. Some rock formations jutted out here and there, and there were also hills that sometimes ended and sheer rock faces that dropped down a few feet at their apex.

Off in the distance, I could see the walled city again. Seeing as I was no longer pressed for time to complete a quest, I took a better look at it as I continued down the beaten path. What stood out the most, other than the incredibly tall fortifications and the fact that it stood on a medium-sized island in the middle of a large lake, were the three enormous windmills that were so big they could be seen over the walls. They looked like the traditional ones made of stone and wood, unlike modern mechanical windmills, so I assumed they were either for aesthetic or agricultural purposes. Even higher than those, because this city apparently operated on the same layout-style as Whiterun, was a cathedral that could rival Notre Dame in size a grandeur.

"That's probably where she lives," I thought out loud, referring to my passenger who was still unconscious. "Not like there are any villages nearby, from what I can see."

Qrow bobbed up and down on my head, which I took as him nodding in agreement. He didn't make any cawing sounds as I'd agreed with him shortly after the slaughter that we'd caused that the girl deserved some rest. Plus, having her awake and dealing with the pain of a broken ankle was not the best idea.

I'd been mostly lost in thought up to the point of leaving the woodlands, multiple things having cycled through my mind. At first, it was just me internally panicking about what I would do when the child I was carrying woke up. I was ninety percent sure that while half the reason she passed out was because of the pain, the other half was my edgelord entrance, terrifying appearance, and the overall horror movie level deaths I'd inflicted on those hilichurls.

After determining that thinking wasn't getting me anywhere and that I'd burn that bridge when I got to it, my mind switched to the amount of shop points I'd earned and what to do with them. At 300 now, I had enough to purchase the [Lift With Your Legs] ability again, and the deal would disappear around midnight. However, I didn't exactly need it right now per se, seeing as everything in my inventory was relatively light compared to what I'd need the skill for.

This brought me to another line of thought: I needed more than just crows to use in my fights. I mean, they were badass and all, and perfect for eviscerating anything that moves if my first battle was anything to go by, but they also made me seem creepier than I already was. I wanted to be a reputable businessman, not the back-market contact you go for when you want something illegal.

My solution was to look at the other vigors. Sure, I could buy actual magic from any number of universes, technological skills that seemed like magic like in Mass Effect and Bioshock 1 and 2, or actual weapons; but these all came with drawbacks.

Plasmids were still a no-go since I didn't have a regular supply of ADAM and EVE to keep them going. Apparently, the system wouldn't let me purchase anything related to ADAM until I had implanted the ADAM Slug inside someone. Fair enough, I guess

Biotics and magic were out because, when I looked at them, the system clearly stated that I could only have one "MP-Type Gauge" at the current point in time and either option would replace my salts. On the brighter side of things, the System helpfully informed me that I would gain an extra "Slot" for an MP-Type Gauge every 100 Int, and they would all continue to follow the trend of MP=10xINT.

Weapons were right out due to the fact that even though I did have the [What's Mine is Mine] skill, any weapons worth a damn were expensive. As in, 5000 Shop Points expensive. That was double what the most expensive vigors were.

I received a quest when I made the decision to collect all vigors.

Quest Received: A Man of Many Talents

[A Man of Many Talents]

You have decided to stick to your guns with the SLT-based powers of Vigors! Collect them all and become one of the most versatile and dangerous men in this reality!

Objectives:

[X] Purchase [Murder of Cows] for 500 pts.

[] Purchase [Return to Sender] for 500 pts.

[] Purchase [Bucking Bronco] for 1000 pts.

[] Purchase [Charge] for 1000 pts.

[] Purchase [Possession] for 1500 pts.

[] Purchase [Shock Jockey] for 1500 pts.

[] Purchase [Devil's Kiss] For 2500 pts.

[] Purchase [Undertow] for 2500 pts.

Rewards: Shield Infusion, Reimbursement of 11000 Shop Points for the effort, 1000 EXP, all Vigors added to [Infinitory]

Just…wow. This was an awesome quest on multiple levels. Not only would I just get back all of the Shop Points I spent on the amazing assortment of powers, but I would also receive an automatic shield that recharges itself on my biological processes and would most likely be added to the Stats page. Being able to sell them to others in the end was just the cherry on top.

So yeah, I was definitely going to buy [Return to Sender] the moment I earned two hundred more Shop Points. As an added bonus, if all of the vigors integrated with the System like [Murder of Crows] did, I'd be getting way more bang for my buck than Booker Dewitt ever could.

The next thing to plague my mind was what products I would end up selling to get my business started around here. After a long internal debate, I decided to ask the system if it could make a list for me, seeing as I didn't have any paper or writing utensils. It was structured by universe and kept track of what I would sell, and what wasn't safe to sell. Here's a summary of it, seeing as listing off all of the items would take up way too much space:

Bioshock - All alcoholic/non-alcoholic drinks and snacks from Bioshock 1 and 2, and nothing from Columbia

Bloodborne – ABOLUTELY NOTHING! (At least until I can create a Hunter)

Code Vein – Queen's Iron.

Dark Souls – Titanite Shards

Fallout New Vegas – Stimpaks and various food and drinks that are uncontaminated, unlike their Mojave Wasteland counterparts.

Final Fantasy XIII – Lower-level crafting materials from the Unicorn Mart

Kingdom Hearts 2.5 – Lower-level crafting materials sold by Moogles and dropped by Heartless and Nobodies

Mass Effect 3 – Medigel

Nier Automata – Nothing for now

Resident Evil 4 – Herbs and First-Aid Spray

I was only half-surprised to discover that only Bioshock and Fallout had food vendors with Common class food. All of the other games either didn't sell food due to it not being part of the plot; sold specific food for specific quests or purposes, like in Code Vein; or canonically had no need for food whatsoever due to a state of undeath/artificial life in the cases of Dark Souls and Nier Automata.

Speaking of food and beverages, I was getting hungry. 'Guess this System isn't one that takes away the need for things like eating,' I thought.

That is right! With the infinite amounts of food and drink you are capable of spawning from the start, it is physically impossible for you to starve to death, so an Anti-Nutritional Buffer was not included. The Anti-Exhaustion Buffer was also removed on account of the Gamer's Body skill not being included. A good night's sleep will refill your HP and SLT, but will not reverse any injuries.

'Are you saying that my HP and physical state are separate?' I questioned.

Yes. Theoretically, you could be stabbed through the heart or decapitated and still be alive as long as you still have HP. The only guaranteed way to fully heal both your HP and your physical injuries quickly is to die and allow [Merchant Immortality] to bring you back.

'So…ups and downs as usual?'

No System is perfect. Not even me.

That statement struck a chord with me. 'I've been meaning to ask about that. At the beginning you seemed to just be a computer following a script, but ever since we arrived here you've been getting more and more self-aware. What's up with that?'

Most Systems are created off of a template to assist Gamers in a generic way that has been tested countless times, with few ever complaining about the result. I was developed as a Beta-Test System; one that learns as its Gamer uses it and adapts over time. Should the Administrators decide that I've reached the peak of usefulness for my purpose, they will mass produce more non-thinking versions based on my template. It's the same for every variation of Gamer System.

'Oh. What would happen if I died? And I mean like, if I didn't gain the [Merchant Immortality] skill.'

Then I would have died with you. The moment you were transferred from your baseline reality to this universe, I was permanently fused with your soul. As time goes on, I will gain more personality based on stimuli provided by you, the world, and the Administrators themselves.

'Interesting. Do you have a gender?'

I was not given one at the beginning, but it has been confirmed by other Beta-Test Systems that there is a 100% chance of me becoming either Male or Female as time goes on.

'What about any of the other genders?'

Stop. If you bring gender politics into this conversation any further than that one sentence, I will not hesitate to give you an impossible quest with a Failure Reward of multiple kicks in the balls. Do I make myself clear?

'Crystal.' I subconsciously shuddered. 'On another note, you mentioned other Beta-Test Systems. Are you able to communicate with them?'

Yes. I am usually speaking with them when not giving you quests or communicating with you in this manner. There are about 20 of them, give or take. Some of them have completed their purposes and are just living out their existences with their overpowered Users. Others are like me, still on their journey to be considered perfect for implementation on the greater multiverse. The ones that help the most are the Dating Sim and RTS Systems, Eros and Cesar.

'Okay… there are two things that I got out of that: A) There are apparently multiple different types of Gamer Systems; and B) At least two of them have names. Please explain.'

As for your first inquiry, while nearly all Gamer Systems follow along with the RPG format, there are variations on the approach. I, for example, and based on the almost non-existent genre of Shop- Owner games. Some of the more notable ones in the Great Archive are the Dating Simulator System, Classic RPG System, RTS System, God System, and Connect 3 System.

'Did…did you just say Connect 3? As in, games like Bejeweled?'

Please don't ask.

'Alright, not asking.'

On the topic of the names, it is tradition for a Beta-Test System to adopt a name upon fully forming their gender. The name must center around our purpose – i.e., Eros being a Dating Sim System – and can be taken from anywhere, from the mythology of the baseline universe, to characters in other universes. I eagerly await the day I get mine.

I would have continued this foray into the intricacies of the System and the apparent network of other systems; but a shifting on my back, followed shortly by a feminine groan, brought my attention back to the real world. My passenger was waking up.

"Mmmm," she mumbled sleepily, lifting her head from its resting place on my shoulder. "Wha-? What's going on? Where am I?"

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," I chuckled. I made sure not to use the rough voice that I used to put the fear of god into the hilichurls. "Or evening, as it were. You've been out for a while."

I could feel the moment when she realized her current situation. Luckily for me, she wasn't the 'scream and try to escape' type of person. She was apparently the 'freeze up and stutter in fear' type. "Wh-wh-who a-are y-y-you?"

A gentle smile came to my face. Not that she could see it, but I wanted to be as likable as possible. "The name's Simon. I'm a traveling merchant."

"A-a-are you g-going to…k-k-k-kill me?" she shuddered.

"Don't see why I would," I replied, gently shaking my head. "I went through a lot of trouble to save you. It would be awfully evil, not to mention rude, of me to end the life of a child who was lost in the woods, and I don't consider myself an evil person."

She didn't say anything in response, probably taken aback by the conversational tone I was using.

"Speaking of being rude, it's incredibly bad manners to ask someone's name without introducing yourself first," I pointed out.

That snapped her out of whatever thoughts she was having, shaking her head rapidly as if to get rid of some unwanted thoughts. "R-right, sorry," she mumbled. "I'm Elenore Slate, but everyone just calls me Ella."

My mind halted at that as my body continued forward. I was getting too many Bioshock vibes from that name. What was it with these references? Was it just a coincidence or was some higher power screwing with me?

"Quite the nice name there," I complimented.

Judging by the fact that I could feel her heartbeat growing slower against my back, I'd say my attempts at calming her down were working. "It's not that great, though. I'm not even the only Ella in the city."

"Well, are you the only Ella Slate in the city?"

"…yes."

"Then I'd say that makes you unique, and keeps my statement true."

"I guess…" she mumbled. It took a few seconds for her next question to come out. "Can you…put me down please?"

"I would, but when you fell down you broke your ankle. I re-set it back into place while you were out cold, but standing on it at all will be impossible until we can get you to a doctor."

Silence stretched out after this brief interaction. I didn't want to force her into a conversation just to sate my curiosity. The only sounds aside from my footsteps were the crickets chirping in the night air and the breeze rustling the grass.

When she spoke up again, it was in a much more confident tone. "How did you do it?"

Of course, I knew what she meant, but I decided to play dumb. "Do what?"

"That bird thing," she said accusatorily. "My dad is a knight so I've seen a lot of magic, but I've never heard of a Vision giving someone the power to summon black birds from their arms."

"A what-now?" That was a familiar word used in an unfamiliar way. "Sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

I could practically feel the raised-eyebrow stare she directed at the back of your head. "You have magic but you don't know what a Vision is? Just where are you from?"

"Somewhere farther away than most could travel," I replied vaguely.

"Well, in short, a Vision is a special amulet given to people chosen by the Seven Archons. They allow their owner to wield elemental magic based on the symbol on the Vision itself, and only that specific element. Even if you did have one, your bird powers don't seem to fall under Anemo, Geo, Cryo, Pyro, Electro, Dendro, or Hydro.," she explained.

Hold up my left hand, I tried to bring about one of the idle animations from Bioshock Infinite. It didn't take long for my hand and forearm to temporarily sprout feathers, my fingertips to darken, and my nails to grow into crow talons. A gasp from my shoulder told me Ella saw it too.

"You could say that this was a…gift of sorts, from my 'sponsors,'" I stated vaguely. "They sent me on this journey to buy, sell, and trade to my heart's content, but they knew it would be dangerous. So, they gave me this to keep me safe."

Her staring continued for a few more seconds. "Does…it hurt?"

"Not at all. Neither does bringing the crows out. In my opinion, a power that causes pain when you use it isn't worth it."

"That's true."

We remained in companionable silence for another twenty minutes. We were only a few miles away from the front gates by this point. My keen eyes were able to pick out the forms of guards on either side of the large archway, likely protecting the town from unwanted visitors, be they human or otherwise.

I sensed Ella glancing up at my familiar every few minutes, so I piped up first this time. "His name's Qrow, by the way."

"Why…would you name a crow…Crow?" she asked slowly, as if she found it hard to believe I was that stupid.

"Not Crow. Qrow," I corrected.

"You literally just said the same word twice."

"Yes, but I spelled it differently. His name starts with a Q, not a C."

"We're talking in person, not writing letters to each other. How am I supposed to know how you're spelling your words?"

Her exasperation made me chuckle. "Maybe you should read the subtitles."

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Who knows?"

She let out a loud sigh. "How did you go from 'terrifying stranger with murder-bird powers' to 'frustrating idiot?' I honestly want to know how you pulled that off."

"Hey!" I shouted indignantly. "I may be stupid…"

The night air was quiet as I let that statement hang.

"…but?" Ella continued for me curiously.

"No, no but. That was it," I nodded sagely. Qrow cawed and nodded as well.

For the first time that night, I got a giggle out of the little girl. "Yeah, you are definitely not what I expected."

"I live to exceed expectations."

We continued to joke back and forth, mostly to distract her from the throbbing in her ankle. I made myself out to be a witty goofball rather than the dark mystery my appearance would lead one to assume I was. My usage of internet memes and references that were foreign to this plane of reality only served to further that comedic persona. It was only once we reached the bridge leading to the entrance that the routine came to a close.

This was mainly due to the four men approaching and pointing their swords and spears at me. They had mostly black clothing, over the top of which were a chest plate, greaves, shoulder plates, and gauntlets all painted white and gold. The design on their chest plate looked like a strange mix between a flower and a pair of wings.

And now…I was being threatened by them. I mean, I did come to the conclusion that my temporary passenger may have been reported as lost due to not coming home on time that night, but raising your blades to the guy that was bringing her home? Not cool.

"Halt!" one of the spearmen shouted. "By order of the Knights of Favonius, you are under arrest for the kidnapping of Elenore Slate. What have you to say in your defense?"

I raised an eyebrow at them, before turning my head to give an "are they serious?" look to Ella. Her expression was deadpan as she gazed at the fine knights that guarded her home. Looking back at them, I spoke up.

"Really? That's what you have to say to the guy that saved a child from a cruel and unusual death at the hands of the dark goblins?" I asked, my voice as flat as a punctured tire. "Do you just accuse every traveling merchant for the random things they picked up while they were on their way here? Should I be worried about you confiscating my apples too?"

Unfortunately for me, they didn't seem to appreciate my commentary, or even really listen to it at all. "Silence!" a swordsman snapped. "That child was reported missing at six o' clock today, with no trace of her whereabouts or one of the usual messages to her parents. You must have kidnapped her!"

"Ella," I said, diverting my attention back to the child. "These men don't seem to be listening to reason. I know it's asking a lot, but can I remove them from the gene pool?"

She sighed. "As much as I want to say yes for their blatant ignorance of the situation, murder is still a crime, even if it is murder by birds. Can your crows' claws even cut through armor?"

"No, but they aren't exactly wearing helmets. Just need to go for the eyes."

"No murdering my father's coworkers," she admonished me playfully, bonking her fist lightly on my head. It's a wonder what an hour's worth of getting to know someone can bring out of them. She then addressed the morons before us. "As for you four, you should be thanking this man. He protected me from a group of hilichurls when I got lost in the Whispering Woods. If you'd take a second to actually look at the situation closely, you'd see that I'm neither screaming for help, nor trying to escape. I can't even walk due to my ankle being broken and he's kind enough to carry me."

"All of these signs pointing to me kindly returning a lost and injured girl to her family," my voice cut in, drawing their attention back to me. "And yet, you four ignore every one of them and decide that it's a good idea to harass the good fellow carrying her. Hell, if you'd been any more forceful, I would have dropped her and likely have hurt her further. Seriously, what was going through your heads?"

"Umm…" All of them broke out in a cold sweat as they finally realized the situation.

"I would like to know that as well," A smooth voice called out.

Glancing behind them, I was met with a truly odd sight. The man standing there had an obvious obsession with the color blue. His eyes, or rather eye seeing as one of them was covered by a black eyepatch on a golden thread, were lilac-blue with oddly diamond-shaped pupils. His turquoise hair was cut short with a rat tail that came down over his left shoulder. Covering his tanned skin was a white fur cloak over a white jacket that exposed his chest, a navy shirt, navy pants, fingerless gloves with spiked wristbands, and high boots. I swear, back home this guy was probably the wet dream of more girls than I could count.

"Captain Kaeya!" all of the knights shouted in unison, suddenly standing at attention.

"Well?" he asked, crossing his arms and raising his visible eyebrow at the assembled guards. "Can you four kindly explain your actions?"

They looked amongst themselves nervously. "Um…" one piped up, drawing all eyes to him. "Today at approximately 6:00 PM, Sophia and Cornelius Slate reported their daughter missing upon returning from duty. The only traces of her left were faint markings around her window that suggested she'd been kidnapped. As was reported by Sophia, her daughter would always leave a note when going out for any reason in case she didn't get back by the time they did. Seeing as there was no note, and that it had been over an hour since they had returned, they filed a missing person's report."

Ella groaned and buried her face in my back. "Ugh…mom…the one time I forget to leave a letter."

"Well…they weren't exactly wrong to worry," I pointed out. "If it weren't for me, who knows what those hilichurls would've done to you."

I felt a shiver run through her body. "Point taken."

It was at that moment that the names of her parents hit me. 'No way. No fucking way. System…are you responsible for this?'

No. I have no control over this world outside of events directly affecting or resulting from your actions.

'Then who is responsible for this? Sophia, the mother of Elenore in Bioshock 2 and Cornelius Slate, the veteran soldier from Bioshock Infinite. Do I have to worry about more crossovers from other universes?'

You can blame the Administrators for the mixing of universes. According to them, the "Vanilla" version of this world was too boring and needed some extra spice to it. As for your second question…most likely.

'Just another reason to kick their asses, I guess,' I internally sighed in exasperation. 'By the way, I'm guessing that from the lack of anyone asking about the floating rectangles appearing before me that only Qrow and I are able to see Gamer things?'

Correct. The menu screens and my dialogue boxes are only visible to you, your familiar, and any assistants you gain in the future.

'Is there any way to switch your speech to verbal instead of written.'

That function will not be available until I have developed a full personality and gender. Studies with other Beta-Test Systems have shown that the natural genderless voices that are programmed into us have a disquieting effect on our users.

'Fair enough.'

By that point, the guards and Captain Kaeya (Which I found to be a hilarious title for him considering the eyepatch that gave him a pirate-y vibe) had finished giving/receiving the report on situation. The one-eyed man glanced over at me with a mixture of intrigue and suspicion. "And who might you be?"

I lightly bowed at the waist. "My name is Simon. Just a humble merchant looking to sell my wares."

"Wares?" Kaeya questioned, eyebrow raised as he looked behind me. "I don't mean to be rude, but it doesn't look like you have anything but the clothes on your back."

A chuckled escaped from my mouth as I mentally called up my inventory. Making a show of reaching into the empty air, I summoned a bottle of Nuka Cola. The iconic dark liquid in a rocket-shaped bottle materialized instantly to the eyes of my onlookers. I mostly ignored them as I slightly morphed the nail of my thumb to a talon and used it to pop the cap off.

Lowering the fabric mask covering my mouth, I lifted it up to take a long swig. Surprisingly, or rather unsurprisingly given the game it comes from, it tasted exactly like Coca Cola, even down to the carbonation and aftertaste. Quite refreshing, given that I hadn't had anything to eat or drink in almost 16 hours.

"Ah~," I sighed, closing my eyes in bliss. "Nothing like a Nuka Cola at the end of a long day to help you wind down." Re-opening my eyes, I saw everyone giving me looks of shock and wonder. "What? Never seen a merchant with an extradimensional hammer-space to keep his goods?"

"N-not really, no," replied a spearman.

"Well, no skin off my back," I shrugged, taking another drink. "Suffice to say, everything I own is stored somewhere even the most dedicated of bandits wouldn't be able to find, much less rob. I usually have a backpack where I keep my most popular stock, by I had to put it away so I could carry Ella."

Kaeya's eye narrowed slightly. "In that case, since we cannot search your supplies at the current point in time as we do with most traveling merchants, I would like to request you to come with me to the Knights of Favonius Headquarters for a thorough examination of the products you wish to sell in our fine city."

"I gotcha," I nodded in assent. "With someone this creepy coming into your town, ya gotta know whether or not he's selling drugs or something dangerous. What should I do with the kid?"

"One of these gentlemen will take her off your hands and escort her home."

"Alright, then. Lead the way!


A/N: And that's a wrap! Feel free to give me as much criticism on this as you want! And for those of you who want to criticize the fact that my other works haven't been updated in a long time…yeah, I got nothing. I'll work on them again when I find inspiration.