Previously: Lily realizes that she completely forgot that Slughorn had given her Felix Felicis in her first year, and when she looks up what it does, she swears that she will keep it very safe and never use it until she has to. The first years attend a dueling club, and Lily gets angry at a sixth year. She ends up knocking him out with her signature Knockback Jinx, and quickly becomes a source of gossip around Hogwarts. James and Sirius really want to help Remus out with his "sickness", and James finally figures out what's going on. However, he decides to keep that information to himself. James and Sirius have their first run-in with Mrs. Norris.
Chapter 23: Of Monsters and Men
"Psst!"
Something prodded James's shoulder none too gently, drawing him from the lovely dream that included him joining English team in the 1974 World Cup and Ludovic Bagman renaming the Bowman Wright Hall of Fame in his honor. It had been great: his friends were all around him cheering him on, his parents were in the crowd telling anybody who would listen that he was the best son ever, and Evans watched enviously from the crowd.
"Wake up! We're gonna miss breakfast."
James grumbled before he rolled over, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had gotten back very late last night after observing Remus and Madam Pomfrey hurry out of the castle in search for a safe place to transform during the night of the full moon. A quick glance at his clock told him that it was almost eleven and that he had slept in later than normal.
"Finally, you get up," said Sirius from in front of him.
His friend had not changed out his pajamas yet, but he was still up and moving, which was more than James could say for himself.
"Another minute of your dead-but-still-breathing thing, I would've called Mama Poppy up here."
Lifting a hand to shield his face from the brightly burning lamp, James squinted around the room, settling on Remus's empty bed, which was still as conspicuously empty as it had been last night, but that did not surprise him. Werewolves probably needed some rest after the full moon, and there was no doubt in his mind that Remus was indeed a werewolf.
It was weird to imagine the quiet boy who he had shared the same dormitory as him turning into a werewolf – that, by the way, would like nothing better than to eat him – once a month, but that was how it usually was according to his mother, who had some experience with werewolves during her tenure in the Department of Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. She had always taught him to look through to a person's character to judge one rather than take to opportunity to discriminate at the slightest glance.
"Well?" asked Sirius, drawing James back to the present. "What are you waiting for? C'mon!"
The morning routine that followed was, on the surface, the same as always, but underneath, it was as different as a dragon and a horklump. Through it all, the battle over the shower, the desperate search for a clean pair of trousers, the automatic movement to avoid bumping into each other, James could help but keep thinking, Remus Lupin is a werewolf. I know, but neither of you know. Not even Remus knows that I know. Isn't there something that should happen next? What now?
Now you must act natural until you know more.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ 1972 ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
"I heard that she punched him for good measure too."
"No, she didn't, you idiot. She wiped his memory."
"Seriously? Second years can't do things like that yet – who's the idiot now?"
The next morning had come at last, but much to Lily's displeasure, the gossip about the series of events that had taken place in the Dueling Club several days prior had not died down at all – Alice was not helping at all either as the blond had gone past slightly modifying conversations of various passerby and now kept vividly recounting the incident to anybody who stood still enough to hear her. Lily kept telling herself that those whispers would eventually subside, but it was apparent that it was not going to die down anytime soon.
In fact, it became apparent that very afternoon: The four girls had been innocently making their way towards Charms class when they were stopped rather rudely by Lockhart and his little entourage of friends – Lily did not know any of their names, but they hung onto his every word. Lockhart had swept in front of her, flashing a winning smile and tossing back his hair with a flourish. Beside her, Mary sighed, but Lily felt no such way towards that obnoxious Ravenclaw who was, most frustratingly, almost on par with her when it came to the Engorgement and Shrinking Charms they were studying in Flitwick's class.
"You're in my way, Lockhart. Move," she said quite bluntly, not bothering to keep the flat dislike from her tone – it was not as if the self-obsessed git would notice anyways.
"Now, now, Lily, let's be reasonable here. After all, I've given you ample opportunities to learn from me," said Lockhart.
He actually had the nerve to wink at her – wink at her! From the way he spoke, it was as if they were two best friends in on a secret that nobody else knew when the simple reality was that Lily was dying to sock him right on that perfect nose of his.
"And yet, I don't want to learn a single damn thing from you," retorted Lily, this time mixing in some sarcasm as well. "Strange, don't 'cha think?"
Lockhart sighed heavily.
"I understand you're intimidated by me, Lily, I really do, but that is no reason not to try to improve your magic – I hate to say this, but it is only average. Sorry, Lily."
Lily felt fury rise up within her as she said, as scathingly as possible, "Duel me at the next meeting, Lockhart, and you'll see just how average my talent really is, you insufferable, jumped-up, little –"
"That's enough, Lily. We need to get going."
Marlene, who was clearly done with the little conversation, stepped in, placing a calming hand on Lily's tightly curled fist.
"Excuse us, Gilderoy, but we have some … learning to do," she said, pushing past him and dragging an unwilling Lily along with her while Alice and Mary scurried after them, though Mary did pause long enough to give Lockhart a breathless hello, which only added to Lily's ire.
When Lockhart and his gang of friends were out of sight, Marlene let go of Lily, giving her a stern look.
"You really should just ignore him, Lily, for his sake and for yours – seriously, you looked about ready to kill Lockhart back there, and while that would fulfill your contribution to society a million times over, it would kind of suck to have to visit you in Azkaban."
The initial reply was gnashing teeth before the redhead fumed, "He's just – he's just so …"
"Irritating?" supplied Alice helpfully with a wry quirk of her lips. "Pompous? A complete and total arrogant arse of a wizard?"
"Yes!" cried out Lily furiously, clenching her red locks in her hand.
"Sheesh. Don't hold anything back, Alice. Let us know how you really feel," muttered Marlene derisively.
Her words went unheard, however, as Lily had escalated to giving her friends the full rant about just how arrogant she found the Ravenclaw: "… never even thinks about what others are thinking – seriously, does he even realize that everybody else hates him?" growled Lily, running her hands through her hair. "Whywere we the year that got stuck with him? I wanna know who pissed Dumbledore – right now."
"Breathe, Lily," said Marlene, calmly placing one hand on each shoulder and imitating slowing inhaling and exhaling. "Just breathe."
While Marlene held Lily still, Alice tottered over in front of her and bobbed her head into Lily's line of vision, chattering in a matter-of-fact voice, "You know, Lils, if you don't stop ranting about everybody, Hogwarts is going to run out of boys for you to hate; I mean, there's Mulciber, McLaggen, Lockhart …"
"Potter," growled Lily in a low voice, narrowing her eyes.
"Oh, yes – him. Who could forget Potter?"
"Nobody, I hope," said Potter, appearing at Alice's side and cutting her rambling off rather unexpectedly.
He was wearing his usual mischievous grin that was identical to Black's, who was standing at his side – though unless Lily was mistaken, the glint was not one of playfulness or knowing, but something else. However, Lily did not have time to dwell on that because once again, Potter had opened his mouth.
"I'm unforgettable, Prewett. After all, who could fail to recall James Potter, Marauder extraordinaire and –"
"And that pain in my ass," interrupted Lily, rolling her eyes. "What do you want, Potter?"
For whatever reason, the Marauders (there were only three of them at the moment as Lupin was mysteriously missing – but three was bad enough) had chosen to make her morning even worse after the encounter with Lockhart. Of course, they were always around when Lily did not want them near her – which was always – but now was an especially bad time as Lockhart alone had almost pushed her to the limit…. It was a wonder her hair was not already torn out.
Potter dropped his grand demeanor to glare at her for interfering with pronouncing his full title across the Hogwarts grounds for all to hear.
"Do I have to want anything if I happen to be in the same corridor – no, don't answer that," he said, holding up and silencing Lily just as she started to open her mouth. "And if I really am such a 'pain in your arse' then you're more than welcome to settle that score during the next Dueling Club meeting – in fact, we could duel it out right now, or was that bluff meant just for Lockhart?"
Those words tempted her badly, but the girls were already late for Charms class. Though Flitwick probably would have let Lily get away with murder, she could not bring herself to be purposefully tardy for any class, let alone one of her favorites. So instead, not wanting to sound like a coward and let Potter get away scot-free, she said, "I wasn't bluffing."
"Could've fooled me," Potter countered without missing a beat.
"I didn't think you had a death wish, Potter."
"I don't, which is why I chose to duel and beat you,"
"Well, that's not gonna happen anytime soon," snapped Lily. "Sorry to say this – well, I'm actually not, but whatever – the only way you could possibly beat me is by dueling dirty, and even then, there's only a sliver of a chance that you'll be victor. If you want to have a chance at defeating me, then why don't you use one of your little prank ideas when I'm not expecting it, since that's the only way you could win."
"It's called chivalry," retorted Potter with a condescending smile that Lily wanted to permanently wipe off his annoyingly pretty little face.
"And it's called stupidity when you fight me fairly."
The moment would appear amusing to any random passerby: all the other second years watched Potter and Lily, swiveling their heads back and forth as if they were in a tennis match rather than a battle of words. If Lily did not know better, their expressions almost resembled waiting for one of the two to break and start cursing the other – it was quite an enticing idea, but even though Potter got under her skin more than anybody else who had the guts to test her temper, she restrained herself.
"Um … let's do this later," said Marlene, swiftly and bravely placing herself between the two Gryffindors.
She held out her hands to prevent them from stepping any closer.
"Right now there's a desk in the Charms classroom with our name on it, and we should minimize any more delays since every time you two fight, somebody ends up in the Hospital Wing with pus squirting for their nose or something."
Lily gave Potter one more glare before allowing Marlene to pull her towards Flitwick's class, but Potter glared right back.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ 1972 ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
James was not sure how much longer he could wait. The impatience and frustration he felt had already beat his better judgement several times: he had barely touched his kippers that morning (which was far from normal James behavior), he had engaged in a particularly nasty sparring match with Evans, and now he could not take his eyes from the flock of owls descending upon the students to deliver the morning mail, not even to watch Sirius keep sneaking salt into Peter's pumpkin juice when he was not looking. Ever since writing to his mother for advice on the situation with Remus's newly-discovered lycanthropy, he could not think of nothing else.
And then, as if right on que, he heard the call of the eagle – or in this case, the eagle owl.
While receiving post in the evening was not unheard of, Quaffles still drew a fair amount of stares as he carried a thick envelope in his talons and flew straight for his owner. Once he had alighted next to James's plate, Quaffles dutifully stuck his leg out and silently pleaded for some of his food. James, who had snatched the letter as soon as it was within his reach, absentmindedly waved his hand in allowance and did not even notice Quaffles drain his goblet and gobble down both slices of toast before taking off to the Owlery for even more food. Instead, James ripped open the envelope addressed to him in his mother's handwriting and read:
Dear Jaime,
I really wish nobody your age ever has to deal with the effects of lycanthropy, but from what you've told me, it sounds like your friend really is a werewolf despite being so young. It's horrible that a boy was bitten before he even came of age, but sometimes bad things simply happen to good people.
However, before you go up to your friend and tell him all of your suspicions, remember that while he may undergo a transformation once a month, he's still a human. From my experience, a werewolf's biggest fear is rejection from his friends and family upon discovery of their curse, and since Hogwarts is full of kids, I would be very careful who you choose to divulge this information to. Werewolves have often been rejected from the rest of our society since many think that they are dangerous when not transformed.
Though you should always keep that in mind, I think you should still tell your friend what you know. It'll be good for him to see that he still has friends who will still stick by his side even with his condition. If he knows that there are people out there who won't think any less of him because of the lycanthropy, it will help immensely in making him feel more welcome in the general population since werewolves often feel like outcasts among their peers.
Again, it is ultimately your decision of what to do with that knowledge, but I know that whatever you decide to do, your father and I will always be so proud of you. If your friend ever wants to talk to somebody, I know some people who understand him and would be willing to help him find his place in the world.
We love you so much, Jaime.
Mum & Dad
"What's that?" asked Sirius through a mouthful of lasagna.
His jovial attitude lessened when James did not respond immediately, instead neatly tucking the letter into his robes and staring at an invisible spot on the table, uncharacteristically quiet.
James had already convinced himself that asking his mother for help was a good decision. However, he already knew that she held no prejudice towards werewolves and championed for them during her tenure as Head of the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and his father only cared if a person would stay by one's side and fight or run away like a sniveling coward. His friends on the other hand….
What would they think of Remus if they knew the truth? Would they look past it and resume their friendship like nothing had happened, or would they treat Remus as an outcast? All of those thoughts raced through his mind as James considered his other two friends. If there was ever a more intolerant family, it was the Blacks, but Sirius had already proved he was not his family. He, Peter, and Remus were best friends, and best friends stuck together….
"Um, hello?" demanded Sirius, waving a hand in front of James's blank face. "Anybody in there?"
It took a moment for him to decide: "Follow me," whispered James in a hushed voice. He did not wait for either of them to ask questions as he quickly slid out of his seat and hurried from the hall with Sirius and Peter stumbling after him, looking rather baffled.
They finally ducked into one of their many secret rooms in Hogwarts, this one a low-ceilinged, dusty chamber piled high with moldy wooden boxes none of them had ever been able to open, and James took a deep breath before turning to face his friends. While Peter was merely curious, giving James a questionable look as he quietly waited for an explanation about the odd behavior, Sirius seemed wearier, his grey eyes guarded as he surveyed James and the letter he was holding.
"What's this about, mate? If you're going to pull a Remus, do it here because I like my bedroom without the smell of vomit, thanks," said Sirius.
James answer was shoving a piece of parchment that he had carried with him all yesterday, and Sirius cocked an eyebrow haughtily as he examined it and said, "This is just our moon chart for Astronomy class – wait, don't tell me you've been carrying this around in your pocket. Should Mama Poppy check you out?"
"Look at it, Sirius, look at the circled dates," said James.
"So? It's all the full moons. What's so special about that?"
James fervently shook his head.
"No, it's not. That's the thing, Sirius: I didn't circle the full moon nights; those are the nights Remus gets sick."
Realization slowly dawned on Sirius's face as he fully processed all that James was telling him.
"Oh, so you think Remus is …"
"That's the only thing that fits," said James. "Look at the facts: he's sick as could be every night proceeding the full moon, he comes back with half-healed cuts, he's always going to Madam Pomfrey, and whatever his illness is, it's been incurable so far."
Sirius's expression remained blank as he fully comprehended the new onslaught of information, but James intrinsically knew that he had not made a mistake in telling his best friend. From somebody who had to fight to distinguish himself from his family, it would not be hard to accept that one of his friends was fighting that very battle right alongside him.
Peter, however, still looked confused.
"What has Remus got to do with Sirius's Astronomy grades? I don't get it," he asked.
Sirius rounded on his plump friend, the previous blankness replaced by poorly concealed impatience as he rolled his eyes.
"He's a werewolf, Pete. Get with the program, don't you?" he said, not even bothering to keep the rudeness from his tone.
At those words, Peter's eyes went round with a fear James had convinced himself would not appear on Remus's closest friends' faces, and he made a small "Oh!" of surprise as comprehension dawned on him. His eyes darted to Remus's empty bed, as if expecting Remus to leap up from beneath the covers, and he chewed his nails nervously as he tried to think of something to say.
"Is Remus … do you think he's still safe?" asked Peter in a hushed voice, and at the murderous look on James's face, he shrank back and hurriedly added, "I just want to be sure that he's not dangerous to me – to us. I mean, we've all heard the stories of werewolves, right? They're supposed to be all Dark and stuff, and I just –"
"Shut up!" hissed James furiously, and Peter fell silent under the mutinous glare he shared with Sirius.
"When did Remus ever hurt anyone? How could you think that? He's your friend for Merlin's sake! If he was a Dark wizard, then I'm very sure that he wouldn't be the one ignoring the Slytherins."
Peter said nothing, though his eyes clearly stated that he was still scared.
"So what now?" asked Sirius after a moment more of silence. "Are we going to tell him we know?"
"Yes," said James, flashing back to his mother's letter and her subsequent advice. "He needs to know that there are people out there who don't think any less of him. We're still his friends."
Here, James gave Peter a very pointed look, and the squat boy just muttered something unintelligible under his breath, which James took as an agreement.
"Well, at the very least we won't have to hear anymore half-assed excuses for his absences," said Sirius optimistically as they exited their hidden room.
However, it was not until later that night that Remus showed up in the doorway to the Marauder's dormitory. Though it had made the wait harder, James had not been entirely surprised – after all, that was often what happened when he showed up after his "bouts of illness" were over and done with – just another clue to his true affliction. What did not often happen was that James, Peter, and Sirius were all waiting expectantly for him to show up, the Bawling Bouncing Ball they had been tossing around now screeching louder than ever as it lay forgotten in the corner.
Remus stopped when he noticed his three friends staring at him: James with sympathy, Sirius with knowingness, and Peter with distress. He did not look too worried, but there was still a trace of weariness there as he crossed over to bed, collapsed onto it, and finally broke the silence.
"What?"
James took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Sirius blurted out, "Remus, mate, we know you're a werewolf."
The initial response was automatic: Remus's jaw dropped to the floor as he stared with staggering disbelief, growing more motionless than a statue, and for a second James was worried that somebody had just sneakily placed a Full Body-Bind Curse on him.
"I-I-I don't know what you … what you're talking about," he lied after the initial shock was over while James simply rubbed the bridge of his nose at Sirius's complete lack of tact. "I just had a bug, and Madam Pomfrey wanted to keep me overnight. That's all."
"I saw you leave," confessed James, and Remus switched over to him. Along with the astonishment, there was now a dread in his eyes. "You were going wherever you go to transform – wait, let me finish," he said as Remus opened his mouth to interrupt. "We don't care, alright? I get that you're worried that this … this furry, little … problem will turn everybody against you, but you could have told us, Remus – we don't care!"
Sirius looked rather impressed, but Remus was still nervous.
"Most people think I'm a monster," he admitted, eyes darting between his friends. "I wouldn't blame you if you went to Dumbledore requesting a separate dorm."
To this, James rolled his eyes while Sirius barked, "Mate, what did we just – well, what did James just say? So what if you're a werewolf? You're still Remus, and the Remus we know doesn't go around tearing everybody apart like some half-crazed, bloodthirsty monster." Remus flinched at that part. "The only person we consider a monster is that Dark Wizard bloke, and he wants to hurt people. You don't – you're just … you."
From the look on his face, Remus still did not look convinced, and he said, "Are you sure? Most people would be frightened of me if they found out the truth."
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"A werewolf who sings Queen in the shower and irons his socks – how absolutely terrifying."
