Did anyone order Emma-centered Neverland angst? No? Well you're getting it anyway.

Takes place after Dark Hollow.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that most children, at one point or another, desire to go to Neverland. Perhaps the idea of never growing old appeals to them. Perhaps it is the thought of flying. Perhaps the thought of adventure. Perhaps the lack of adults. But regardless of the reason, children long to one day journey to Neverland, especially those who don't have a family of their own.

Emma would know. Many a night, she would gaze out her window to the heavens, wishing she could fly to the second star on the right and straight on till morning. Peter Pan was her favorite tale, after all.

As the years rolled on, Emma lost her faith in Peter Pan and Neverland, scoffing whenever she thought of her childish fantasies. Neverland was never real, you see. Neither was Peter Pan.

Emma huffed at the thought. Turns out Neverland is very real. Her son was somewhere on the island, and she had followed him in an effort to get him back. Oh yes, Neverland was real, and Neverland was hell. And Peter Pan is the little shit in charge of the hellhole. And the one who had kidnapped Henry.

So yeah, Neverland wasn't exactly very appealing anymore. Especially as she wiped another trickle of sweat from her brow. God, it was humid here. Her clothes were sticking to her body, and her hair was sticking to her face and neck. She felt sticky and gross and wanted nothing more than a shower.

And for her eyes to stop itching. In hindsight, she probably should not have left Storybrooke to go to who-knows-where in another damn realm without some saline solution and a case for her contacts. If she leaves Neverland without an infection, it'll be nothing short of a miracle.

Some sort of bug buzzed in her ear, and she waved it away. Another one, or maybe the same one, landed on her arm, and she quickly slapped it. Gross. Yet another reason for a long shower when we get back to civilization, she thought as she wiped her hand off on her pants.

Maybe her coat would've helped with the bugs. She quickly disregarded that thought. She was so glad she left her coat back on the ship. She'd rather deal with bugs than the heat that would come from another layer. She didn't think anyone would wear a coat on this godforsaken island.

She glanced to her right to look at the man fiddling with a piece of wood, decked from head to toe in black leather, including a heavy coat. Well, at least no sane person would.

She looked away quickly, her gaze falling back to the dwindling fire in the middle of their little camp. She tried not to scowl as she felt her anger bubbling to the surface, the urge to storm out of the camp or hit someone exacerbated when she realized Neal was staring at her from across the camp.

She couldn't believe she was stuck on Neverland trying to rescue her son, and those two were acting like 300 year old children. Fighting over a lighter over all petty things when there are more important things to worry about. Like saving Henry.

It wasn't the lighter we were fighting over, love.

She grit her teeth at the sound of Hook's voice in her head. She was not some prize to be won, and she certainly didn't appreciate their little pissing match over her. She'd damn them both to hell if they weren't already there.

There was a weird tension filling the camp. Her parents seemed to have gotten over their issues, but they obviously were still struggling with the aftermath of Echo Cave. Emma pursed her lips as she looked at her mother. Now that they were all settled for the evening, the memories of the secrets revealed in the cave crept in.

What we have with her is unique, but it's not what I wanted. I want another baby.

Unbidden tears sprang to her eyes, her anger at Hook and Neal quickly transforming into anguish as she remembered her mother's secret. She quickly wiped her eyes, and stood up. She needed to get out of there. "I'm gonna go get some more firewood." She left without looking at any of them. Not Neal, who she didn't even have time to unpack her relationship with. Not Mary Margaret, who had hurt her without even realizing it. Not David, who was either trapped on Neverland forever or dying. Not Tink, who she didn't even really know. And certainly not Hook, with his blue eyes that always seemed to see more than she wanted him to.

She should have known better than to wander into the forest without paying attention to where she was going. Easy to get lost like that and all. But she needed space, and didn't care how she got it.

She found a small clearing with a view of the starry sky that never seemed to change, never shifting to day. She sat down on smooth, flat rock. The sounds of crickets and various birdcalls filled her ears as her mother's painful words resurfaced.

Mary Margaret had been her first friend in years. Her best friend, in fact. The sweet teacher who had been kind enough to offer her a place to say had quickly wormed her way into Emma's heart, despite her best efforts to remain unattached from anyone besides Henry. Maybe that's what she gets from agreeing to be her roommate. Memories of staying up late talking filled her head. Pictures of her friend that had seemed to disappear as soon as the curse had broken. Mary Margaret had gone from the best friend she'd ever had to the mother she'd never had, the mother she'd been looking for her whole life and had given up hope of ever finding.

When they'd both fallen into the portal to the Enchanted Forest, she got to see a side of Mary Margaret she had never seen before. And it was weird at first, but she was starting to get used to it.

What she couldn't get used to was her trying to be Mom . It felt like she had lost her friend when she gained her mother.

With David, it felt more natural when he tried to be her dad, and maybe that was because she didn't know him that well before the curse. But she could see herself eventually calling David "Dad." Or maybe she could if she didn't know he was never going to be able to leave Neverland.

Grief welled up inside her, threatening to choke her. She was going to lose her dad, and she had only just found him. It wasn't fair!

And her mother would probably stay with him. They were sappy like that.

For a moment, Emma bitterly wished she had never broken the curse. Then Henry would never have been kidnapped, David would never be trapped here, and Mary Margaret...

She let out a choked sob. Mary Margaret would still be her best friend. She wouldn't be her mother.

What we have with her is unique, but it's not what I wanted. I want another baby.

She would want her. Just like she is. And maybe Emma wouldn't feel so replaced at the thought of her having a kid in the future.


The impact MM's secret had on Emma was not addressed in the show at all, and I will be forever disappointed. It wasn't even originally going to be part of this fic, but now it seems to be the main premise. C'est la vie.