Previously: As Lily is getting ready to board the train, she wants to talk to Petunia. Both she and Petunia are unsure of what to tell each other, and the train leaves before Lily can say anything else to her sister. Lily meets Snape on the train, but they quickly start arguing about his housemates. Lily meets up with her girlfriends. Alice now has curly, dark brown hair. Marlene's started to wear make-up. Marlene tries to convince Lily to get rid of Snape, to no avail. Lily sees the Thestrals, but she's confused when nobody else sees them. In the Great Hall, James sees Lily for the first time since the beach. However, James is too far away to talk to her. Everybody is introduced to their new DADA professor, Sage Rawlings.


Chapter 34: Professor Rawlings

Lily did not sleep much that night.

It was not like she had another nightmare where she woke up screaming and convinced Bellatrix was standing over her, wand out and ready to murder another again, but that did not mean that her dreams were not troublesome either. She had woken in the middle of night, this time right before the flash of green light she had grown accustomed to in her dreams hit her. Gasping for air, Lily had used her forearm to wipe off a thin layer of sweat that had appeared on her face. Afterwards, she had filled a goblet with ice-cold water to drink before flopping back onto her pillows, where she fell back asleep and stayed that way until Alice roused her in the morning.

And Merlin, could Alice rouse.

"Good morning, Lily! Time to wake up!" trilled Alice in an exceedingly loud voice as the rising sun trickled through the windows and onto Lily's bed.

Lily only groaned and pulled her pillow over her head.

"Five more minutes," she huffed through the fabric.

"Sorry," chirped Alice, not at all sounding sorry. "We've gotta get down to the Great Hall before Professor McGonagall leaves for classes, or did you forget that she's the only one with our schedules? Now come on – up!"

She gave Lily's bed an extra shove.

How Lily wound up downstairs thirty minutes later, she had no idea. The only thing she was certain of was that after Alice had charmed her pillow and blankets to float above her as an incentive to get up, she had to wait an ungodly amount of time for Mary to finish up in the bathroom, and the poor girl had to endure her grumblings while Alice and Marlene wisely waited just outside the dorm. Nevertheless, Lily was now sitting at the Gryffindor table with a plate of kippers while Professor McGonagall walked up and down, handing out timetables to all her students. The first thing Lily noticed when she received hers was that she had Defense Against the Dark Arts with that woman Dumbledore had introduced last night, Professor Rawlings, and it was the first class.

"Looks like we've got Rawlings's class first," said Marlene, studying her own timetable with a slight frown on concentration on her lips. "And we're with the Slytherins again – ugh."

"Do you think she'll be good?" asked Mary nervously as she played with her bacon.

Marlene paused, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"I'm not sure. Dumbledore obviously thinks that she's competent if he picked her to teach us, but considering what I saw last night, she looks like she should be taking the class rather than teaching it," she said after taking a dainty bite of her pancakes. She then shrugged and added, "But I s'pose I'll withhold judgment until after our class."

Lily had stayed silent throughout Marlene's speech, her mind wandering to the next hour. Would she be able to hold it together for the class, or would the memories distract her from anything the current teacher was saying? It may have been absolutely no fault to the new teacher, but she, Lily, knew that she was always going to hold adverse feelings towards the subject, no matter how critical it was. There would always be some part of her that shied away from that classroom.

When it was finally time to get to class, Lily was the last and most reluctant to leave her seat, which was impressive considering that Mary was usually the one unwilling to leave the food, but she nevertheless followed Alice down to where their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class would be.

A twinge of hurt flickered in Lily when she saw that Severus had already taken seats with his Slytherin buddies. The boy glanced over to his friend, and she saw an apology in those black eyes, but Lily was too preoccupied to worry over why she had not been Severus's first choice of tablemate, and she took the seat next to Alice, waiting for Rawlings to enter.

The classroom was not actually that much different from when Stoughton had inhabited it, which took Lily a little by surprise. Contrary to what those doll-like looks had suggested, Rawlings's decorative tastes were very much down-to-earth and practical rather than the glitter and cuteness Lily had been expecting. The bookcase was stuffed with volumes written by well-known authors that detailed everything from handling Dementors to the psychology of evil wizards while interesting artifacts littered the shelves, some of them looking old enough to predate Hogwarts itself. A bulletin board was tucked away in a corner with yellowed Prophet articles pinned up to it, though the font was illegible from a distance.

That was when the door opened, and Lily took a deep breath to prepare herself.

"Good morning, class," rang a bell-like soprano voice.

Lily turned around to get her first close-up of Professor Rawlings, and the first thing that struck her was the height – or rather, lack of it. Up at the teacher's table with everybody else sitting, it had not been very easy for Lily to gauge how tall the professor was, but now, it was easy to tell that Rawlings could not have been more than five feet tall. Up close, Lily noticed that the dazzling ice-blue eyes glinted with a sharp determination not unlike Professor McGonagall's. Even though her musical voice sounded like the tinkle of wind chimes, the tone was no-nonsense and serious.

"Good morning, Professor Rawlings," mumbled the class.

There was a fair number of students, the Marauders among them, who looked more interested in Rawlings's ass than anything else while others chuckled at the delicate looks of their very young teacher.

Rawlings finally reached the front of the classroom and faced the class, an inquisitive smile on her lips.

"Welcome, everybody, to your first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson for your third year. Now, I'm not sure how your previous teachers went about teaching you, but I am a firm believer in a hands-on approach to magic, particularly when it comes to defensive magic, which I believe can be among the hardest magic to master –"

At those words, the Marauders – or, well, Potter and Black at least – burst out laughing, and Rawlings frowned at the interruption, though there was also annoyance in her expression.

"Is there something funny, boys?" she asked, one eyebrow raised skeptically as she considered the two students before her.

"Of course not, Dolly," sniggered Black, and Lily felt a flash of irritation – it was one thing to wonder aloud at the breakfast table, but to mock a teacher in her own classroom? The nerve!

"Continue, please," added a chuckling Potter. "I'm eager to learn what exactly you know."

A spark of amusement flickered in Rawlings's eyes as she said, "Since you're so eager to learn, tell me: Do you learn better by dueling yourself or watching other people duel?"

Her tone was much calmer than Lily's would have been.

That cut Potter and Black's laughing short. They both gave each other a confused look before staring back at Rawlings, and Potter asked blankly, "What?"

"I told you that I believe in a hands-on approach, Mister …"

"Potter," answered Potter with suspicion. "This here is Sirius Black, and I'm James Potter."

"Well, then, Mr. Potter – out of your seat. Both you and Mr. Black," ordered Professor Rawlings before turning back to the class at large, "It would seem we now have our volunteers for our first lesson."

Many people in the class snickered, Gryffindor and Slytherin alike, and Lily grinned. She would absolutely hate the tone that was in Rawlings's voice if she were Potter and Black, but right now as a bystander, she was positively glowing with anticipation. Those two always dished it out to others, but now, it was finally coming back to bite them in the bum at last – and it was about bloody time too.

"You have two choices, boys," announced Rawlings, sweeping to the front of the room, suddenly demanding much more attention than her diminutive size would generally call for. "You can either duel each other to show us the proper way to defend yourselves, or, since it is quite obvious the both of you seem to doubt my abilities, you two can duel me. Either one-on-one or two-on-one – it's your choice, but I suggest you make it quickly since I'm sure that there are some people in this classroom who would be very willing to take either one of your places."

The Slytherins in particular looked eager at that, and it was clear that Rawlings was very much aware of the rivalry that existed between the two houses.

Both Potter and Black, seemingly unaware of the fact that they had only started their third year whereas Rawlings was a fully qualified witch – either that or they legitimately believed that Dumbledore had hired a complete invalid – grinned at each other, very confident in themselves.

"You mean we have permission to attack you? With any spell we know?" clarified Black, looking like Christmas had come early.

"Don't hold anything back," encouraged Rawlings. "I would be disappointed if you didn't give it your all."

Black smirked at his friend before stepping forward, making a show of flourishing his wand and preparing to duel the teacher while Potter rummaged around in his book bag for his wand. Then, without warning, Potter whipped around and shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Lily gasped at Potter's sudden attack, but it quickly became evident that she did not have to be worried for Rawlings in the first place. The jet of red light streaked towards the tiny woman with the speed of Nimbus, but just before it could strike her, an invisible shield abruptly erupted in front of Rawlings. The Disarmer swiftly ricocheted off the defense, now heading straight for its original caster, and Potter and Black barely dived out of the way quickly enough before the red spell hit the stone wall harmlessly, dissolving and only leaving some extra dust particles as evidence.

Rawlings smiled shamelessly at the two of them. Somehow, with barely more than a lazy flick of her wand, she silently repelled Potter's spell with hardly any effort. Potter and Black stared and then started jinxing her with a renewed vigor, throwing everything they had into trying to breach their professor's defenses.

"Petrificus totalus!"

"Locomotor wibbly!"

"Engorgio skullus!"

However, nothing they did could deter Rawlings even the slightest bit. She simply stood where she was, silently deflecting each and every spell that Potter and Black threw her way while the boys themselves were growing more desperate with each attempt. It was also getting to be almost painfully obvious that both boys were starting to grow tired of the fight, and Lily knew that it would not be long before one of them made a mistake that would end the duel without even meaning to in the first place.

Lily was starting to like this class and Professor Rawlings very much.

Finally, Potter lost his footing for the briefest moment, allowing Black's deflected Disarming Spell an opening, and Potter could not get out the way fast enough. The spell hit him, and his wand was suddenly sailing through the air. Rawlings caught it deftly, and Black glanced over at his now disarmed partner-in-crime with a horrified look in his grey eyes. Rawlings must have decided that Potter and Black had been taught their lesson well enough because just then she cast her own Disarming Spell, but Black was too distracted to notice that she had added her own offensive spells to the mix for the first time, and it did not take long before Rawlings was in possession of all three wands.

There was a moment of silence as everybody stared at the teacher. If there was any doubt that Rawlings was anything but a ditzy little witch, there certainly was not now, and then the students started to clap and cheer, though Black and Potter stayed noticeably silent. They simply sat back down in their seats, looking rather glum.

"Now that Potter and Black's egos have finally decided to once again grace us common folk," said Rawlings with a cynical edge to her musical voice, "Let me introduce myself: hello, my name is Sage Rawlings, and I will be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for this year. I am here as a personal favor for Professor Dumbledore, but before I started here, I was involved with Auror and Hit Wizard operations around the globe after I graduated top of my class from the Auror Academy last year. Now, any questions?"

She raised her delicate eyebrows expectantly, but nobody raised their hand. Lily herself was starting to understand just why it had taken her so little effort to defeat the Marauders – and by the looks on Potter and Black's faces, they had realized it too. Instead of waiting, though, she hopped up on the desk overlooking the rest of the classroom, legs dangling freely, though not before tossing Black and Potter their wands that she had taken.

"As I said before, I believe very much in a hands-on approach to defensive magic," said Rawlings. "The first thing I want you to do is forget the notion that defensive magic is a list spells to memorize and practice, because it's not. It isn't like Charms or Transfiguration where the mark of your abilities is simply the hardest spell that you've accomplished, but it incorporates everything and channels it into a unique situation where it will either get you out alive or it won't. Sometimes an Exploding Potion would be a better choice as a makeshift weapon than a simple Smokescreen Spell would have, but at the same time, a Patronus Charm is going to be your best defense against a Dementor or a Lethifold.

"Which is why you have to be careful. The thing that gets a lot of wizards is that defense is more than just performing some fancy charms; it is whatever you need it to be, whether it be a Shield Charm, which I have just demonstrated with Mr. Potter and Mr. Black.," – there were some sniggers at that – "or it could be a punch in the face. The last one may not be a very sophisticated method, but it can still be quite useful. Now, who can tell me what the most important thing you can have in a fight is?"

It took a moment for people to jerk awake enough to realize that Rawlings had asked them a question. The speech had been enthralling, and Lily was not the only one who was totally absorbed with Rawlings's words. When all she got were blank stares, Rawlings smiled ruefully before answering.

"Logic," she said. "All the power in the world won't help you if you don't know what to do with it. All the spells you know would go to waste if you don't realize how you can use them. Your enemy has one goal: to harm you, and that's your first advantage. When you know exactly what the other side will do, you must plan accordingly, as two of your classmates have just found out."

While the Marauders still looked a little sore from the embarrassing defeat, Rawlings's brief kind smile she gave the two of them indicated that she held no grudges against the boys. Potter shifted in his seat, but unlike with so many other classes, he and Black still listened intently to the professor.

"In the time I've spent out in the world, I've learned one thing in particular that will be of use: there's always something somewhere that you can use to your advantage, whether it be an object or an idea, which is why you need to think. You need to know your surroundings, know your limits, know your skills. If you can figure that out, then you'll know exactly what your advantages and disadvantages are, and the other guy? Well, they can already kiss their sorry arse good-bye."

It was not long before the bell rang, jerking everybody out of the hypnotic state Rawlings had lulled them into.

"Homework: write me a foot on non-magical ways to defend yourself and explain how they could be used in real-life situations," said Rawlings as the bell rang. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, a word if you please – and Ms. Evans! Don't leave just yet. I'd like a moment to speak with you after I'm done with these two."

Mystified, Lily remained standing by her seat. She glanced over at Alice, but her friend merely shrugged, just as lost as Lily was. Potter and Black she could understand, but her? What had she done for Rawlings to call her out on the very first day of class?

While Lily waited nervously, she watched Potter and Black approach the teacher's desk from her spot in the back of the room. They might not have been accepting of guilt, but it was not like they were not accepting of remorse either. Though she knew that she should not eavesdrop, she could not help herself as she strained her ears to hear the discussion.

Rawlings stood in front of them, and though she was a little shorter than them, she seemed to have McGonagall's gift of making her presence – and displeasure – known.

"I think it goes without saying that I expect a better class next time. I am not going to stand here and demand respect because I know that's something that must be earned, but that doesn't mean I don't expect a certain amount of good behavior when you are in my classroom. Am I understood?"

Black sighed.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Just tell us when we have to show up, and we'll be on our way."

"I would've thought that the spectacle earlier was enough of a punishment, don't you?" said Rawlings.

At those words, Potter and Black stared at each other openmouthed while Lily rubbed her ear, unsure if she had heard correctly.

"Wait," said Potter, "You mean that you aren't giving us detention? Really?"

"For today, I'll let you off with a simple warning," said Rawlings coolly. "But make no mistake: if either of you pull something like that again, the both of you are going to be in for some very interesting detentions." Her eyes softened as she regarded the boys. "I'm not your enemy. I can tell that you two are quite skilled for your age, and I have no wish to throw you out of school or make you spend your time writing useless lines that will do you absolutely no good out in the real world. That means that even if you don't want to listen, you at least need to keep your traps shut. Are we clear?"

Potter and Black nodded eagerly, and Rawlings let them go, saying, "Very well. You can head off to your next class now – Ms. Evans!"

She raised her voice to Lily, who had been faking a catnap so that she could eavesdrop, pretended to jerk awake at the sound of her name.

"Come over here for a moment."

After Potter and Black left the classroom, Rawlings gestured to the chair while she seated herself on the table, which must have been her favorite spot with all the times she went back to sit in it during just one class period. Lily hesitantly placed her bag on the desk and sat on the edge of the seat offered to her.

Rawlings smiled at her nervousness and said gently, "Don't worry, Ms. Evans. You're not in trouble."

Lily did not relax.

There was a pause, as if Rawlings was contemplating what to say, before she finally decided by stating, "I know that this can't be easy for you."

"I don't know what you mean."

The words were automatic and out of Lily's mouth before she could stop them, even if she did want to stop them.

"I know that you were with Jack Stoughton the night he died," said Rawlings, giving her a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry."

Lily stared at her.

"How do you know that?" she demanded. "I never even told Alice."

"Professor Dumbledore told me. I'd known Jack for a long time, and to be blunt, you are part of the reason Dumbledore chose me to be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Jack was a dear and loyal friend, and I am glad to see that his death was not in vain."

Lily hastily glanced down at her twisting hands to avoid looking Rawlings's directly in the eye. The scar on the inside of her wrist was glaringly obvious, and Lily forced herself not to run her finger over it as she usually did whenever she was thinking about what to say.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, "It was stupid to not realize that he had friends and family."

"That's alright. I didn't hold you back just to give a talk about feelings or anything like that," said Rawlings patiently. She paused and had to take a deep breath before she said, "I held you back for different reasons. You see, that night, when you tried to escape, there were some spells that you used that … well, simply put: it takes incredible ability for a second year to escape that kind of situation, and it drew Voldemort's interest when Bellatrix reported what had happened."

"But I didn't do anything," protested Lily. "It was luck, that's all – if it was based on talent alone, then Stoughton would be the one standing here, not me. If I had just –"

"No, you can't think like that," interrupted Rawlings, suddenly stern. "Trust me, Stoughton would have still stayed behind regardless of if you were hopelessly outmatched or not. You couldn't have done anything to change his mind, Evans, then or now."

"But then how can You-Know-Who think –"

"And now you've nailed the source of the problem: unfortunately, he doesn't think like you or me. In his mind, you were the one who survived, so he therefore draws the conclusion that you were the more powerful of the two of you. Trust me when I tell you that I know Stoughton would make the same decision he made in a heartbeat; it was just who he was. But Voldemort doesn't know that, so without the answer that he accepts, his curiosity's been peaked – which is why Dumbledore asked me to help you."

"How?" asked Lily slowly. "If this is same You-Know-Who that we're talking about, then it doesn't seem like there's much we can do to change his mind."

"We can't change his mind," confirmed Rawlings, and a smug smile tugged at her lips as she added, "But we can help prepare you for the future."