AN: That's it. Why the hell did SIX people follow and FIVE favorite? Get a life.

"Hello, girls. Looks like I found you, and this time I killed a horseshoe crab. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!"

Callie screamed and Marie said a no-no word.

The evil lady laughed. "I missed you two. Do you want to come with me? I have candy."

"Seriously," said Marie. "Do you think we're FIVE?"

"Yeah," said Callie. "There's NO way we would fall for THAT."

"Well actually you probably would've if I hadn't said anything."

"Right…"

"YOU TWO QUIT TALKING. Eh hem."

"Who's there?", Octavio aked from his snowglobe. "Whoever it is, I swear to go if you wake me up again… There will be consequences."

"Whatever."

"Did you just say 'whatever' in front of me, Mary?"

"Oh okay so you don't even remember my name properly that's cool I guess."

The evil lady was getting more and more angry. "I said quit talking! As I was saying, I killed that crabby weapon dude. His murder is my fault, hee hee money money."

"Why did you just tell us that?"

"Hee hee, you won't be able to tell the public, 'cuz you're coming with me!"

The weird wicked woman grabbed a knife out of her pocket and held it up to them. "Die. Please die. Wait, no. Don;t die."

"The hell-"

With a weird facial expression, Callie slapped the villainous OC with her tentacle. Long tentacles were great for slapping idiots, as she had learned when she decided to stand up to the mean girls in fourth grade.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

"I literally just slapped you there is nothing more to it than that."

"Why do you talk so damn fast? Anyway, no one slaps ME with a tentacle."

"Crap."

The 5-second OC cackled like a witch (or maybe like Fassad from MOTHER 3) as she forcefully shoved Marie out of her way. Marie hit her arm on… something? causing a blue liquid to drizzle onto the ground.

AN: Seriously, cepholopods have blue blood. This story is… actually surprisingly educational. But honestly though, in Spaltoon if your [ink/octo]ling steps on something spiky they should bleed blue. Also, did you know cepholopod ink is actually really good to eat? I should try it some time... Sorry. bAcK tO ThE sToRy

"Yeouch," Octavio muttered as he watched. "That had GOT to hurt."

For the past month or so, Octavio had gotten pretty used to Callie giving him weird looks, but even though it was night and was dark out, he could see pretty clearly that she looked like she wanted to murder him. He didn't blame her.

The evil lady krept closer. I forgot to mention, but her name was Broomhilda. Just a fast fact that would help the story progress faster. I don't even know anymore. My head hurts. Ow.

Broomhilda the antagonist OC (I'm sorry I just pretend to can't take this story seriously anymore. Yeet I love this song that I'm listening to. It's called "Dry Guys" from MOTHER 3 it's really good you should listen to it)

Also by the way I just got back from art school. It was on Zoom, but occupied a lot of my time. Sowwy (cringes).

Callie closed her eyes and prepared for pain or something. But then she heard a cutting noise. And she wasn't hurt.

"Aaaaa money money eeeeeeeeeee," screeched Broomhilda. "I cut your unreasonably long tentacles once and for all! The work I've been trying to do for ten years is finally done!"

"Wtf"

"Good question, hee heeeeeee. You see, I originally wanted to marry your father because he seemed like a nice guy. On the dating website, he said he already had a 'seven-year-old daughter who would be thankful for motherly affection'. I was ready to be a mom, but then you… Why the hell are your tentacles so long? I mean, is it natural? Do you use some sort of weird chemicals? Like, seriously. What is up with that?"

Callie didn't quite know how to respond. "Uh, it's natural. My mom's side of the family is all bigfin reef squids. Us bigfins are known for having our tentacles grow really fast. I have to trim them weekly, but I didn't have time to do that when I lived with you."

It's true. I read somewhere that Callie actually is based off of the bigfin reef squid. Though they bare little resemblance, it's a known fact that bigfins are the fastest growing marine invertebrate species out there. There purpose in life is they grow really fast and then die. That's not eve a joke; look it up on Wikipedia or something.

Broomhilda smiled and cackled again. "You think I'll believe that? Tentacles that long are clearly a sign of the devil."

"Crap."

"Now that I cut them shorter, I shall see how long it takes for them to grow long again, and then I will make my decision: Are you, or are you not, worthy of sacrifice?"

"Why the actual heck are you trying to sacrifice me, and uh, I forgot what I was going to say. Sorry. Just go on with what you were saying."

"I just explained it to you. Tentacles that grow as long as yours do are signs of the devil. Were you even listening to my monolauge?

"I have attention deficit disorder!", Callie shouted while dabbing.

"No one cares," Marie muttered as she slowly got up, holding her arm in her other arm. "It's not like that lady wants to listen to what we have to say."

"Aw, squit! I thought you were dead," said Broomhilda.

"It's only a flesh wound."

Broomhilda reached maximum rage. "I HATE MONTY PYTHON"

Callie was offended by the comment.

"It's okay Cal. I see she has terrible taste. Let's take her down together. Even though we're in out pajamas at one in the morning with the person we're trying to fight standing in font of out weapons. We can… probably not do this!"

"Why are you so negative?"

"She has the right to be so," Octavio interfered from his snow globe again.

No one seemed o notice him say it, because no one responded.

"Why do you hate good humor long tentacles so much?", Callie asked Broomhilda.

"Well…" Broomhilda began to cry. "One day when I was twelve, I was walking around my neighborhood with my friends. We were talking about crappy things twelve-year-old girls talk about, when suddenly, an older girl who was clearly old enough to play ink sports approached us. She was carrying an Octobrush and had an Ink Tank on, and she was sweating. She looked like she had just gotten back fro a Turf War. My and my girls were all like 'no weapons in public, that's really illegal', but she didn't care. She just walked to her house and didn't say anything back to us. Being upstanding citizens, we called the cops on her. The cop that came was around five-foot four, and had tentacles that were at least six-foot ten. I mean, they were REALLY long. And beautiful. The cop said something under the lines of 'what is your emergency', and we said something like 'a kid brought an octobrush into out neighborhood'. She looked at us and was like 'well, did she… hurt anyone?', and I said 'She hurt my feelings by not talking back to us.' The cop then said 'you could fine her a little, but that's not a jail-worthy crime.' And then she got back in the car and left."

"So?"

"I hate octobrushes."

"Well, no arguments there," muttered Marie, who feels that way as a salty brush-hating charger main.

She's cool, but no respect to brush-haters. Brushes are my life in-game. If my inkling was forced to use a charger or something, he would die, and my team would loose. I specialize in the Octobrush, but I can also use Carbon Rollers, Inkbrushes, and the Slosher. Also the Octoking HK Jersey, Sneaky Beanie, and Moto Boots look great together, especially with the hipster hairstyle. But don't copy me.

"Brushes aren't that bad," said Callie, a roller player.

"Well, maybe that's because you use the Carbon Roller Deco, which is like, the one thing that can hit a running brush, which is another type of roller. You're probably just biased. Rollers like other rollers, that's why they're always splatting eachother at the exact same time for some reason."

"You don't understand the language of the roller main. Dying together is a sign of respect."

"You made that up just now."

"You're right, I did."

"I don't care about your preferences on rollers," croaked Broomhilda. "The point of my story is that I'm pretty much terrified of tentacles that go past your feet. They're a memento of my betrayal by the law-enforcement."

"Uh, what?"

"You two must think you're too fresh to understand me. I HATE IT WHEN TENTACLES GROW SO FAST"

"But bigfin reef squids naturally-"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT NATURE. Actually, one second…"

Broomhilda the OC got out her squid phone thingy and typed something into the internet. She was scrolling through something when out of nowhere she just screamed "Damn, this is the sh*t!", earning her a concerned look from Marie. The OC pressed some stuff, and then held up her phone in the air. A small red dot appeared on the ground around 478.226 centimeters away from her. A laser-pointer app.

Broomhilda laughed like Fassad from MOTHER 3. The laser pointer moved around the floor of the floor.

"What the hell is this for," Marie asked. "Are you just, like, trying to amuse us, or what? I don't get it."

"You don't get it? Ha! Look at you cousin!"

Indeed, Callie's facial expression had gone blank. Every time the tiny laser dot moved, she followed it like a moth attracted to light.