A/N: Hey guys! Big thank you to everyone who has followed or favorited! I'd love some reviews to let me know how you are enjoying the story so far, and especially this chapter. Enjoy!


October 17th, 1976

When I got upstairs, Lily was fuming. She was pacing back and forth across the floor, with the other girls on their beds staring at her with stricken looks on their faces. She was muttering words heatedly, such as "prat" and "wanker". I cleared my throat and she turned on her, her red hair whipping behind her like a flame.

"You!" She screamed at me, marching forward. I thought she was about to hit me, but instead she threw her arms around me. "Are you okay, Addie?" She asked, her voice muffled into my neck. I felt myself relax into her embrace, and gripped her back just as tightly.

"No." I admitted, my voice catching and sobs erupting from deep within my chest. That one sob broke the seal and before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably into Lily's arms. It felt like there was an anvil sitting on my chest, with the sobs getting stuck in my throat and breathing becoming hard. I tried to take a couple of deep breaths to calm myself, but it wasn't working and I ended up making this awful heaving noise. Lily backed me onto her bed and pulled me down next to her, her arms never loosening from around my neck. She put her chin on top of my head, tucked me into her neck, and rubbed loose circles on my back. We sat like this for a few minutes, and when I finally was able to look up, I realized that Alice, Mary, and Marlene had joined us on Lily's bed and were watching me with concern in their eyes. I took one more deep breath to center myself before speaking, and pulled away from Lily. Telling James had ignited a confidence in me that I hadn't realized I had before. And after the debacle downstairs, I was going to need confidence to ensure that I didn't crumble upon myself during the next few weeks. Having my friends by my side, fully informed of what was going on in my head, would only help me.

"Last term, right after the final match…Jase got me really drunk and…he…raped me. That's what the fight was all about. I told James tonight and he lost it. Sirius knows too, he was the first person I told." I said quietly. Alice gasped, and threw her arms around me. Mary started crying quietly, and Marlene jumped up, looking ready to kill. But it was Lily, sweet Lily, who surprised me the most. I expected her to get up and get into "problem-solving mode". I expected her to ask me a thousand questions, including why Sirius knew first, had I gone to Professor McGonagall yet, had I been to see Madame Pomfrey? But Lily looked at me, her green eyes blazing, grabbed my hand and said, "We've got your back from here on,"

The girls all nodded at me, solemn looks on their faces. Mary successfully stopped her tears, sniffling a little, and threw her arms around me, joining Alice. Before I knew it, we were all in one giant dog pile on Lily's bed, where we remained for the rest of the night. We spent the night together, speaking every so often about random unimportant topics. They never pushed me to say more, and every time I felt like I was going to get stuck inside my own head, Alice would speak up about a Witch Weekly article she had read, or Lily would remind us of a story from when we were younger. By midnight we were all close to falling asleep and decided to retire to our own beds.

I lay in my bed, as Mary flicked her wand to turn the lamps out, and thought about how lucky I was to have friends like these. How lucky I was that they had reacted as perfectly as one could expect. How lucky I was that despite how isolated I had felt at the beginning of the year, these girls, plus Sirius and James, had my back. They hadn't blamed me, or called me a slut, or insinuated that I had led Jase on. They had just held me and reminded me that they loved me.

"Thank you, guys. I love you." I said into the darkness, possibly the first words I had spoken aloud since I had told them.

"We love you, Addie." Lily said simply. As I drifted off in to sleep, I realized that I felt lighter than I had in six months. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, and hope in my chest.


October 18th, 1976

When I woke up the next morning, it was just me and Lily left in the dorm. She was sitting on her bed, lacing up her shoes. She looked up at me when I sat up and smiled.

"The girls all went down already. They wanted to scope out a spot for us at the table. Make sure the coast was clear for you. We'll be with you in between every class too." Lily said, throwing me my wand. "Now get up and get dressed, or we'll be late for breakfast."

"You know that you guys don't have to babysit me, right?" I asked, touched that they had a coordinated plan for to take care of me.

"We know. But we want to. That prat won't come anywhere near you while we're with you. And everyone gossiping will think twice once I hit them with a tripping jinx, or Marlene makes them cry." Lily laughed.

"Why Lily, I am shocked! Our perfect prefect would never jinx a fellow student," I laughed back, grabbing my wand and doing a quick charm to untangle my hair.

Lily flushed, but simply said, "Nobody hurts my friends. Plus, I've never actually been caught jinxing anyone."

I dressed quickly, tying my tie hastily, and glancing enviously at Lily's perfectly pressed skirt and perfectly tied tie. Even if I had woken up an hour earlier, I would never look as put together as Lily managed to effortlessly look every day. We walked in to the Great Hall together, and Lily walked past the girls giggling behind their hands, and the boys not-so-subtly looking me up and down, as if it wasn't happening. I tried to copy her indifference, but my cheeks began to warm without my consent. I saw the girls sitting towards the center of the table, having taken up a large section for us. Lily and I slid in next to Alice and across from Marlene and Mary.

Marlene slid a cup of tea (cream and two sugars) across the table to me.

"I already had to deal with Davies. We passed him on our way downstairs and overheard him saying that he should have taken you up on your offer to go to Hogsmeade. That maybe he would have gotten some action if he had." Marlene said conspiratorially, leaning on her elbows towards me.

"That's disgusting," I said, my heart dropping into my stomach. I had known that this was going to happen, I was prepared for this. But that didn't make his words hurt any less.

"Alice called him a tosser…Alice! Our sweet Alice. I was so proud!" Marlene continued, beaming at Alice. Alice flushed but turned to look at me.

"He was being a tosser. But that's not the best part! Marlene hit him with a jelly-legs jinx and he fell down the stairs." Alice defended herself. I looked over towards the Ravenclaw table, and spotted Davies sitting with a black eye forming.

"He was too embarrassed that he was jinxed by a girl to go to the hospital wing, but now he just looks like an idiot," Mary joined in, turning to look behind her and laughing. Davies must have seen Mary looking, because he put his head down into his plate and began eating at record speed. He fled out of the Great Hall moments later, head down and bag flailing behind him.

"You are not going to believe when McGonagall decided our detention is going to be," Sirius complained, slamming his bag down next to me. I had been so distracted by Davies, I hadn't even seen Sirius and James walk over to us. James slid in next to Marlene quietly, and glanced at Lily, but she was pointedly staring away from him. He looked down at his plate, his face full of regret.

"Sunday! We're going to miss the Halloween feast! I love the Halloween feast…all of those homemade pumpkin pasties." Sirius continued, shoveling eggs onto his plate, oblivious to the looks the rest of us were shooting him.

"And you deserve it; assaulting a housemate and causing a scene! Let alone the damage you've done to Addison." Lily said stiffly, shooting James a nasty look, although he had not been the one complaining. James didn't say anything, but buttered his toast silently.

"Oh yeah? And what do you know about what happened last night?" Sirius said hotly, his temper flaring up. He banged his hand onto the table, causing James to jump in alarm and finally look up from his toast.

"Sirius. Stop" I said, putting my hand on his. "I told them all last night. I figured I needed more babysitters than just you and James."

"I'm proud of you. Are you alright?" Sirius said, cooling off immediately. He had flipped his hand from underneath mine, so that his palm was facing toward my palm; he entwined our fingers together. It seemed almost second nature now, for him to grab my hand when he was trying to comfort me.

"Yeah. I'm feeling really good." I smiled back at him, grasping his hand tightly. I knew that I was supposed to be mad at him for last night, but with him looking at me with those grey eyes, I couldn't find myself to care anymore. He looked back at me, stupid smile on his face; I only realized how long we had been smiling at each other when Marlene cleared her throat.

"Well, this is a lovely development. Were that bastard's accusations true?" Marlene quirked her eyebrow at us, the sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Jones wishes she had the chance to jump this panther," Sirius winked back at Marlene, dropping my hand and instead putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me towards him. I rolled my eyes, and was about to retort, but Remus interrupted before I had the chance.

"Panther? I think you mean puppy dog," He said with a laugh, plopping down next to James. James laughed loudly, the first noise he had made all morning, and Sirius pouted. It was clearly some kind of inside joke between the Marauders. Speaking of Marauders, I realized I hadn't seen Peter in a couple of days. I turned my head from its place on Sirius's shoulder to ask him, but when I did I saw that Sirius was already looking down at me.

"Remus knows too. He doesn't know the whole story but he knows enough to be another pairs of eyes and ears for you," Sirius whispered to me.

"How?" I asked, trying to confirm the suspicion that I had. I had figured that Remus's werewolf hearing would have allowed him to listen to our conversation with Jase on Saturday.

"He demanded an explanation for why you were in my bed," Sirius said slowly. My heart swelled, remembering how well Sirius had handled that entire night. I impulsively leaned up and kissed Sirius on the cheek.

"Thank you. For everything that you've done. You made me feel safe again. You always make me feel safe," I said honestly. Sirius's look of suspicion morphed in to a look of total and utter shock. It was true. The oddity of our bond had revealed to me that while I had thought he was the person I hated the most, he actually had been the person I trusted the most. He was the person who made me feel safe; the person who challenged me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.

"You're welcome, Addison." Sirius said, bringing his hand up in disbelief to touch the place where my lips had touched his cheek.

"Well, I guess dragons really are taming themselves," Lily said with a laugh, sharing a look of glee with Alice to her left. I blushed and realized that I had just kissed Sirius in front of all of our friends.

"Yeah, yeah. Big news. Sirius and I no longer hate each other. You can all find some other form of entertainment," I said nonchalantly, stabbing a bit of sausage and popping it into my mouth. I glanced at Sirius, noticing he was still sitting shell-shocked.

"Pads. You act like a girl has never kissed you before," James launched a bit of toast at Sirius, hitting him in the face. Sirius blinked and picked up the piece of toast. He removed his arm from around my shoulders and bit into the toast. He stuck his tongue out at me, bits of chewed toast falling from his mouth.

"Do you want to kiss me, Addison?" He said with his mouth full, puckering his lips and making kissy noises. I laughed and pushed his face away, happy that he was joking around with me and hadn't made this weird.

"Gross! Black, don't get any closer!" I squealed, leaping up from my place next to him and avoiding him as he got up to chase me. I grabbed my bag quickly and ran from the Great Hall, Sirius trailing behind me. I made it up one flight of stairs, into a deserted corridor, before Sirius caught up to me; all of James's crazy workouts must have been working for me. Sirius grabbed me around the hips and I yelped as I tried to break his hold. I was laughing through, aware that Sirius would never hurt me. He didn't trigger my fight-or-flight response, like anyone else would have if they had been touching me so intimately. I turned in his hold, and discovered that Sirius had gently pushed me into the wall behind me. He was looking at me, the laughter gone from his eyes.

"Did you mean it? When you said I make you feel safe?" Sirius asked me quietly, pushing a piece of hair out of my face. Sirius's gaze made my heart start beating fast, and an unfamiliar warmth spread throughout my body. The way his steel gray eyes were looking at me – not like I was fragile, but like I was strong – made me feel strong. I realized that he had never, not once, looked at me like I was broken. That he had always believed I had the strength to face this situation head on, but that he had always made sure I knew he would be there to catch me if I couldn't do it.

"Yes. You've always made me feel safe." I admitted, letting him lean even closer to me. My heart beat even faster, not from fear, but from excitement at what might happen.

"I shouldn't. I'm dangerous. People around me end up hurt. Remember what I did to Snape last year?" He nearly growled, his hot breath sending goosebumps down my neck and arms.

I did remember. A couple of weeks after Christmas Holidays last year, Sirius had ended up in a month of detention. The boys had told us that Sirius had pranked Snape into believing they were practicing Dark Magic beneath the Whomping Willow, and that James had run after him to save him before the tree could injure him. Lily – after speaking to Snape and confirming our theory that Remus was a werewolf – and I had known the true story but everyone else had brushed it off as just another Maurader prank. Sirius had been hoping that Snape, who had been suspicious of Remus for years, would be injured or scared senseless by what he saw beneath the tree. It had been dangerous, and Snape could have been killed. I understood why Sirius would bring this up right now, trying to convince me that he was dangerous, like his family.

"I remember. You made a mistake, and yes, Snape could have been hurt. But he wasn't. One mistake does not make you a bad person. One mistake does not make you your family. One mistake does not take away that fact that you made me feel safe when I never thought I'd be able to breath again," I said, bringing my hand up to his face and placing it gently on his cheek.

"You don't understand!" He exclaimed angrily, slamming his fist near my head. That did make me jump and for the first time I started to understand that I was alone with a boy who was very close to me. I took a breath and willed myself to calm down; no matter what he said, or what he tried to convince me of, I knew that he would never hurt me. "You don't understand what I really did that night. You don't understand why I am more like my family than even I realized,"

"I know that Remus is a werewolf," I said simply. Sirius's mouth gaped open like a goldfish.

"And I know that it was a shitty thing that you did to Remus. And I know that it was dangerous what you did to Snape. And I know that you have felt bad about that since the moment you realized how incredibly stupid it was. I also know that you have actively been working to change. You left your family. You left! You had the strength to do that because you saw the person they could influence you to become, and you didn't want to be that man. You are a good man, Sirius Black. And nothing you do will convince me otherwise." I continued, when I realized he wasn't going to speak.

"How long have you known?" asked Sirius gruffly, staring down into my eyes.

"Since third year. Lily and I figured it out when we studied lunar cycles in Astronomy," I admitted.

"You've kept that secret for three years? Never treating Remus any differently because of what he is? Never told anybody?" He asked, his voice getting huskier.

"Of course! Why would his lycanthropy affect how we –" My sentence was cut off by Sirius's lips descending upon my lips. He kissed me gently, but with insistence, like if he didn't kiss me right then he may never get the chance again. The hand he had resting on the wall came up to tangle into my hair, his other hand cupping my cheek. His tongue darted out to meet mine confidently, and the hand on my cheek slid down to my neck. He played with the wisps of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail on the nape of my neck; my skin was on fire everywhere that he touched. I responded in kind, letting my tongue come to meet his. Kissing Sirius felt better than any kiss I'd ever had before – not that I had many to compare to. Before this, I had snogged Frank Longbottom once on a dare, Damocles Belby after my first date to Hogsmeade (Sirius and James had teased me mercilessly for going on a date with a Slytherin, but we all agreed that he was one of the good guys), and of course Jase. Kissing Jase had always felt rushed and persistent; within seconds of kissing his hand was always sliding up my skirt or down my shirt. Kissing Sirius felt relaxed and comfortable; he made no move to deepen the kiss past snogging. After what felt like an hour, but probably was only a minute or so, Sirius pulled back. He rested his forehead against mine, breathing deeply, and opened his eyes to look at me.

"Was that okay? I mean, it was okay for me…way more than okay. Perfect, maybe. But was it okay? Oh, Merlin, you probably didn't want me to kiss you. Fuck! I am such an asshole, I didn't even ask if I could kiss you," Sirius said, backing away from me quickly. I grabbed his shirt, and pulled him back down towards me.

"Sirius, that was the most perfect kiss I have ever had," I said, before angling his face down for another quick peck. That action made Sirius grin, his white teeth sparkling against his tan skin, but he quickly sobered up.

"Are you actually okay? After Jase, I should have asked. I shouldn't have assumed. I know what you've been through and I fucked it up. I just got caught up in the moment, realizing that you had kept Remus's secret for years, and you looking so enticing up against that wall," Sirius said genuinely, looking pained that he may have hurt me.

"I'm…surprisingly okay. I thought after Jase that I was never going to be okay with another person, let alone a man, touching me ever again. I sat in my room all summer, avoiding my parents so they wouldn't accidently touch me. Every time James touches me, it feels like my body is on fire, but not in a good way. Like I'm being electrocuted. But I don't feel that way with you. Well it feels like fire when you touch me, but more like a nice warm campfire. I feel safe with you; I have ever since you found me outside the portrait hole in first year. You've always made me feel safe, and cared for, even if you did it while insulting me. You've had my back just as much as James has, and I didn't even recognize it until recently." I admitted to him, figuring I should let all of my feelings out while he was listening.

"Can I be honest with you? And do you promise that if what I say makes you uncomfortable in any way, we will forget I said it and pretend nothing happened?" Sirius asked, looking almost scared.

"You can always be honest with me," I said with a nod, feeling hopeful that I knew what he was going to say.

"The night of the party, when you were asleep in my bed…I realized that I have feelings for you. I didn't want to say anything or make a move before, and I had promised myself that I wouldn't say anything, but here I am two days later having just snogged the shit out of you," Sirius said hastily. I started laughing so hard I slid to the ground.

"That laugh can't be good. I haven't ever made it to the feelings stage with a girl before, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to laugh when you tell them…" Sirius trailed off, and slid down next to me.

"No…no, that's not it. I'm laughing because in the middle of confessing your feelings for me, you used the phrase snogged the shit out of," I laughed, wiping tears out of my eyes. Sirius started laughing as well, grabbing my hand in his.

"Not the most romantic declaration I could have made, huh?" He chuckled, "But that does that mean…you feel the same way?" He looked so hopeful, sitting next to me, holding my hand, that I couldn't resist leaning over to kiss him again.

"I've been denying it for a while. I didn't want to get my hopes up, since you've never dated…anyone before. Plus, I really didn't know if I'd ever feel okay after Jase. But since telling you about it, you've convinced me to play Quidditch again, you've gotten me to tell James, you've inspired me to tell the girls, and you've been there to support me every step of the way. I'd be an idiot if I didn't fall for you; you've made me feel whole again," I said sincerely.

"I can't promise I'll be a good boyfriend. I don't know what I'm doing, so I am going to mess up. But I can promise you that I will do my best to make sure you are always safe and that we move at your speed. I promise to control my temper, and my darker tendencies. I will never let you feel like you are falling apart ever again," He promised me.

"I promise not to compare you to Jase, and to try not to let my trauma overcome my sensibility. I promise to always tell you what I'm thinking, even if it's bad. I promise to fully communicate my boundaries with you, even though they are probably going to constantly change. I promise to overlook some of your darker tendencies, but to always remind you that you are a good man…that you are my man," I promised back. He threw his arm around me, and kissed my temple. We sat like that, side by side on the ground, until the bell rang signaling the end of breakfast.

"Are you ready to do this?" I asked him tentatively as I stood up. He stood up with me, grabbed my hand back in his own, and began walking towards Herbology.

"Kitten, I'm never ready for anything, but I've made it this far. Let's go break some hearts," He said with a breath-taking grin sent my way. I reveled for a second in the turn this morning had taken. This weekend alone I had faced Jase, confessed my secret to James and the girls, and professed my feelings to Sirius. And it had all turned out fine…better than fine! It had all turned out better than I could have ever hoped. As I walked, hand in hand with Sirius, I thanked Merlin that Jase had shown his true character. He had made me stronger. He had made me realize that I could overcome anything; that I could be powerful. With Sirius by my side, I felt invincible.