Previously: Lily is shocked when Charity Mueller tells her about an incident involving Snape, the rest of the Slytherins, and a Muggle-born's cat. Lily is quietly furious with Snape. The Marauders start researching how to become animagi. Lily asks Snape about the cat. When he doesn't deny it, Lily refuses to speak with him until he apologizes to the owner.


Chapter 51: Unanswered Questions

Lily lay in her bed, staring up at the canopy of her four-poster as she absentmindedly traced the scar on her wrist with her left middle finger – one and a half years had passed since that fateful night back in her second year, but Lily knew the scars, both physical and emotional, that Bellatrix had left her with would never fully heal.

Though Lily normally was a late riser simply because she always preferred to sleep in, this time she had another reason to stay in bed.

She was avoiding Severus.

They had not spoken since their fight, and Lily was not sure whether she wanted to speak to Severus until he apologized to Charity and her friend Beth for his part in the incident with her cat. Lily hoped that she had been convincing enough, but with each year that passed, Severus got harder and harder to read, something that disturbed Lily greatly. He was supposed to be her best friend – she should know him well enough to understand all his expressions and quirks, but the more Lily dwelled on it, the more she realized that they were becoming two very different people.

It did not help the situation that Marlene had seized the opportunity to try to prove to Lily that she should just make a clean cut with Severus now rather than waiting until they reached a breaking point, and unlike all the other times she had tried to convince Lily to drop him, this time she had evidence to back her case. But Lily could not just ditch Severus – despite everything that had happened since they first arrived at Hogwarts, she had to believe that the little boy from the playground was in there somewhere, hidden somewhere under that cool, blank expression.

From the other side of the room, she heard Mary shift in her bed. Lily turned her head to check the time: 6:13 am. She sighed – even if she was feeling sleepy, it would only be a matter of time before Alice woke her. So with nothing better to do, Lily rose and started to get ready for the day.

She was one of the first people to arrive for breakfast, which meant that she had her pick of spots. Lily chose a seat about halfway down the table and, after helping herself to some waffles, took out her Transfiguration homework that she had pushed back in favor of talking to Severus. When she was halfway through the first roll of parchment, she was interrupted by somebody standing right behind her.

"Tut, tut, Evans – shouldn't you know better than to leave your homework until the last minute?" said Potter as he plopped down on the seat next to her, casually leaning back against the edge of the table with that trademark grin of his on his lips.

Lily groaned.

She should have known that Potter would be at breakfast early. Alice had mentioned on several different occasions that Potter always got up early to train for Quidditch, despite the fact that Kingsley Shacklebolt, the new Quidditch captain who took over for Riley Wallows after she graduated at the end of last year, always preferred to schedule practices in the afternoon. Lily could not understand Potter's motivation for getting up early just for practice – she herself had chosen dive team during the summer specifically because their practices started later than swim team.

"Potter, do you even do your homework?" she responded, hardly glancing up.

"On occasion," said Potter with a shrug. He suddenly leaned closer, and for smallest, craziest moment Lily thought he was going to kiss her, but he was only studying her essay with interest.

"You're wrong," he said, pointing at one of her sentences.

"Beg pardon?"

"Reparifarge is the general spell to counter transformations, not Finite Incantatem – that's better for charms, and even though there's a chance it'll work, Reparifarge is going to have a lot better luck reversing transfiguration spells," he said, and, without even waiting for Lily's approval, he then proceeded to cross out the incantation Lily had written and replace it with his own incantation.

"Wha – how do you know that's right? Have you done the homework yet?" asked Lily, eyeing the revised portion skeptically.

"No," said Potter bluntly. "But that's the spell I always use for our pranks if they go awry, and it's worked pretty well for me – besides, Sirius and I are at the top of the class in Transfiguration, remember?"

"Hard to forget," muttered Lily dryly.

"And now," said Potter with a grin that made Lily uneasy. "Since I've helped you with your homework, why don't you help me?"

"If you're going to ask me to Hogsmeade, Potter, then the answer is no."

Potter, who had opened his mouth to say exactly that, closed it at her flat denial, and Lily felt a brief pang of guilt at the sight of his crestfallen face – which he quickly covered up with another one of his grins.

"C'mon, Evans – why not? I helped you with your homework," he pointed out.

"And if memory serves, Potter, you also kept erasing all of Amos Diggory's answers on his homework – that wasn't much help to him, was it?"

"Yeah, well …" said Potter, reaching up to ruffle his hair and giving her a half-hearted grin, "You have to admit – it was kind offunny to watch Diggory freak out over that …"

"No, Potter – it was not funny. It was mean and completely uncalled for, and until you realize that, I have no interest in going to Hogsmeade or anywhere else with you. Now goodbye, Potter," said Lily. The dismissal could not have been clearer, and Lily kept her eyes firmly focused on the essay in front of her, refusing to look up at Potter.

"But what if –"

"Goodbye, Potter."

Potter stood there for several more seconds, looking like he was going to try to argue with Lily, but he must have realized defeat because he sighed one final time before rising from his spot and walking away. Lily did not watch where he went after that – she was too busy deciding whether or not to keep the new, spidery inscription that was now scrawled across her paper. She scrutinized it quietly for several more minutes and, glancing around to ensure that nobody else was watching her, quickly tapped the words Potter had written while whispering the spell under her breath. At once, the ink wiggled around, changing shape until the writing could pass for Lily's own.

Several tense moments passed, but when Professor McGonagall did not appear at her shoulder to serve her detention for Lily's brief moment of cheating, Lily breathed a sigh of relief and continued to write the rest of her essay, pausing only to rephrase certain parts so that it would match what Potter had written. She was so absorbed in her homework that she did not even notice that Marlene, Alice, and Mary had all entered the Great Hall until the three of them took up seats around Lily.

"I can honestly say it was a bit of shock to open the curtains to your bed and discover that you had vanished – honestly, Lils, we were worried that somebody had abducted you in the middle of the night or something," said Alice cheerily as she helped herself to some ham-and-cheese casserole and pumpkin juice.

"Oh, very funny," said Lily as she reached for the second piece of parchment to continue working on her essay.

"But seriously – why are you up so early? We normally have to drag you out of bed by the ankles," Alice pointed out.

"Couldn't sleep," said Lily evasively – Marlene was watching her with critical eyes while she silently chewed her scrambled eggs, and Lily had no wish to fuel her unspoken resentment towards Severus.

"That's a surprise," said Marlene, her tone completely neutral.

Lily spared a glance her way, frowning heavily. Marlene's expression was almost as hard to read as Severus's was, but Lily did not doubt that Marlene was well aware of what exactly had kept Lily up – Charity had likely filled her in on all the gory details regarding the cat incident and the subsequent conversation in the library. Lily tensed, nervous that Marlene was going to force more out of her regarding Charity and the resulting confrontation with Severus, but to Lily's relief, Marlene did not press the matter and returned her attention to her breakfast.

Neither Mary nor Alice seemed to notice the tension between Marlene and Lily, and it was only when the mail arrived that it finally broke. Lily scanned the crowd of owls for one carrying the newspaper. Finally, a handsome tawny alighted in front of her, dutifully sticking out its leg. Dropping several Knuts into the pouch tied to the owl's other leg before untying the newspaper. She was about to unfurl it when, to her surprise, two other owls quickly swooped down and landed in the same spot – one owl carried yet another poem from Terry while the other one held a Muggle envelope that could only be from her parents.

Lily barely read Terry's poem, which had something to do with summer and the sea, because she was too preoccupied with the Muggle letter. She wasted no time in ripping it open, and in her mother's soft cursive, it read:

Dear Lily,

I know it's been over a week since I've written, but all's good at home – it's a bit lonely because Petunia moved to London last week for her typing course that she was always going on about. From the sound of it, she's been offered a job as a secretary for a drill company as soon as she's finished the course. She's sounds really happy about it, so I'm excited for her – hopefully she follows through with her plan of just using it as a steppingstone.

Your father is doing well, and he says hello. There hasn't been much change in his condition, but the doctors are still trying. I've tried to keep him from doing anything strenuous, but you know how your father is about that. He and the doctors are still very optimistic about the outcome, so don't worry too much about it – focus on your schoolwork. Jane Prewett recently told me that next year you'll be taking your O.W.L exams. I don't know exactly what those are, but they sound important – so study hard!

Love,

Mum

Lily tried to smile at the letter, but she could not – it was impossible not to worry about her father's health, no matter how many times they tried to reassure her. She gently tucked the letter between the pages of her Transfiguration book and turned to the newest edition of the Daily Prophet. For the first couple of pages, there was nothing very interesting save for a few pieces regarding the politics in the Ministry of Magic. She was about to toss it aside when she noticed a little section tucked away under an advertisement for Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop. The article was short and only accompanied by a small picture of a middle-aged witch who looked vaguely familiar.

ANOTHER WITCH JOINS THE LIST OF DEAD

While He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his faithful Death Eaters have continued to gain notoriety both within the country and among the international community, the number of wizards and witches to be murdered or go missing has grown exponentially over the past years. Sadly, there is now yet another name to add to that list.

Early yesterday morning, the body of Bianca Rawlings (53) was discovered in her home by her husband, Harrison Rawlings (55) who serves as a Mediwizard for the Auror Office, and their only living child, Sage Rawlings (23). According to a source close the investigation, Mr. Rawlings and his daughter had just returned home when they found the Dark Mark shining above their house. Mr. Rawlings immediately reported back to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement while Sage Rawlings, an Auror herself and ex-professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, entered to find her mother's body.

However, the rumor is that the Death Eaters, whoever they were, did not stop with the Killing Curse. While reporters have been unable to get the full story from Aurors, the rumor is that the Death Eaters dismembered her body in some way and used the remaining parts to write a message – though exactly what or to whom that message pertained to remains a mystery. Millicent Bagnold, the Head of Auror Office refused to release the details to reporters and subsequently threatened to curse their quills should she be asked again.

A spokesperson for the Rawlings family thanked the Wizarding community for their support and asked that their privacy be respected during this troubled time.

Lily slowly lowered the paper to the table, fighting to keep her food in her stomach. It must have showed on her face too because Marlene noticed and frowned, silently asking her what had happened before reaching across the table to read the paper for herself, tossing aside her newest edition of Witch Weekly without a second glance. As Marlene read the article, her frown deepened into an outright scowl, and both Alice and Mary, who by now knew that something was not right, quickly scooted closer to read alongside Marlene. Alice, who had been sitting beside Lily, leaned across the table and tilted her head as far sideways as it would go.

"Poor Rawlings," said Mary as Marlene, having realized that the other two were also done reading, pushed the paper aside. "Why would anybody ever want to kill her mother?"

"Obviously she was doing something that the Death Eaters didn't like," said Marlene as she snatched up her magazine and ripped it open as if it too had been involved in Rawlings's mother's murder. "That's how it always is, isn't it? That's why they killed Victoria Gobsworth, that's why they killed Professor Stoughton, and that's why they killed her."

"They killed my grandmother too – she spent several months placing protective enchantments on all her Muggle neighbors' houses, and when the Death Eaters found out – obviously we didn't call them that back then – she refused to lift them, so they killed her," said Alice, viciously spearing her bacon with her fork.

"When was this?" asked Mary, surprised.

"A couple months before we started our first year," said Alice. She held the bacon up to the light, scrutinizing it as she continued, "I hate them, all of them – Death Eaters, elitists, anti-Muggle lawmakers … They can all burn in hell for all I care. You know, as soon as I get out of here, I'm gonna join the Aurors and …"

Lily's attention drifted away from Alice's rant, instead focusing on one small line in the article that pulled her in, sending her gears whirring as she stared at it, reading and rereading the same sentence to ensure that she had interpreted it correctly.

and their only living child, Sage Rawlings …

Those words nagged at her mind, drawing up the image Rawlings leaning over her while Lily insisted on practicing the Patronus Charm and the conversation that Lily had not thought about for almost an entire year.

"You mentioned somebody named Shiloh – who is he?"

"Shiloh is my brother."

Lily had heard those exact words come out of Rawlings's mouth – is, not was. She had another sibling, she had said so herself – but then why was the Prophet forgetting to mention that little detail? Something was off.

And Lily did not like it when things were off.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ 1974 ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

"That slimy git needs to stop following us around, or I swear that I'm going to hex him so thoroughly that he's not going to be able to graduate," muttered Sirius viciously as he glared at the corridor that Snape had subtly glided into. "I mean, what does he expect? That we'll suddenly give him a reason to have us expelled? It's pathetic!"

"Just ignore him, Sirius," sighed Remus. "Otherwise, we'll be late to Herbology."

As it turned out, they were early for Herbology. A group of fifth years were still cleaning up from their lesson with menacing plant that, from the faces covered in dirt, sweat, and bits of leaves, had put up quite a fight. Amongst the crowd, James spotted Amos Diggory still clearing up his things, and, remembering his conversation with Lily earlier at breakfast, inspiration suddenly struck. Quickly maneuvering around the assorted fifth years and careful to avoid the plant, James hurried to Diggory's side.

Diggory did not notice him until James was less than a foot away, and when Diggory did notice him, he jumped backwards, nearly tripping over the tables in the process. James did not blame him – the last time they had met, James and Sirius had erased all his homework and the pages of his books (although Lily had seemingly never been told about the last part). Their charms wore off after a week or so, but still – Diggory's reaction was understandable.

"Diggory," acknowledged James in a cool, polite tone.

"Potter," responded Diggory in kind. He narrowed his eyes and added, "I can't say I was expecting to see you here. What do you want this time? I've already charmed everything so that you can't erase it again."

"No, it's not that. I –"

Here, James paused, unsure of how he should proceed. He had never actually apologized to anybody for his pranks before – the urge never presented itself until now. Looking at Diggory, who was regarding him warily, James decided that it would be best if he just said what he had to and get it over and done with.

"I'm sorry for what happened with your homework," he said bluntly before sticking his open hand out as a gesture of good faith.

Diggory, however, did not take his hand.

Instead, his eyes narrowed with suspicion, and he crossed his arms defensively as he said rather harshly, "Is this supposed to be a joke, Potter? I can't believe you'd think I'd be gullible enough to fall for another one of your pranks twice."

James raised his eyebrows, too stunned to respond. It should not have been surprising, considering everything that he and the other three Marauders had pulled during the past three and a half years, but James still could not help but feel offended that people always assumed the worst of him, believing his incapable of remorse. After all, Lily herself had told him as much on several distinctly different occasions – really, why was he surprised that the rest of the school felt that way as well?

Unable to find an adequate response, James simply shrugged and said, "Well, it was worth a try," before turning back around and heading over to the table where Sirius, who was regarding their conversation from afar with suspicion, sat with Remus and Peter.

When he finally reached the spot that his friends had saved for him, James collapsed into the seat, unable to shake the feeling that he had just been slighted in one of the worst ways possible.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ 1974 ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

It was getting close to curfew, but the library was still packed with students trying to finish their homework so that they would not have to worry about it over the weekend. Most of the students completed their work with diligence and quiet, but with this many people, it was impossible to have a complete and total silence. A soft hush of murmured whispers snaked its way through the room, accompanied by the formidable and short-tempered Madam Pince, who hunted down the sources of the noise with rather chilling determination.

Lily paid no attention to the babble – the chances of the conversations being anything other than useless gossip were close to zero – and quietly made her way through the maze of students. Thankfully, it did not take her long to reach the section of the library which housed old editions of the Daily Prophet. The size of the stacks was rather intimidating, but Lily took comfort in the fact that she would not have to page through each one of the newspapers individually.

She quickly glanced behind her to ensure that Madam Pince was nowhere in sight before taking out her wand and whispering, "Accio."

The tower of newspapers teetered slightly, and Lily hoped that they would not topple over. An old, yellowed bundle towards the bottom of the pile struggled to escape the crushing weight of the other newspapers. After several moments, it finally broke free and zoomed right into Lily's outstretched hand, who spared the teetering pile an anxious glance before ripping open the paper in her hand to the obituaries section, desperately scanning the list of names.

Most of them she did not recognize, though she gave a start at the mention of a Henry Potter (1846-1955), reading it before she could stop herself, realizing that she was reading the obituary of James Potter's grandfather. She gave her head a little shake before continuing down the list of dead. Occasionally she would spot someone who shared a surname with one of her friends, but Lily refused to let herself get distracted again until she finally found what she was searching for.

Shiloh Rawlings (1947-1955)

Shiloh Rawlings (8) passed away following a Thestral accident. Family and friends of Shiloh are welcome to attend a memorial that will take place this Saturday at 11:00 am. He is survived by his parents, Harrison and Bianca Rawlings, and his younger sister, Sage.

Lily scoured the rest of the paper for any others scraps of information the related to Shiloh Rawlings's death, but after ten minutes of hunting, she was forced to accept that the Daily Prophet had simply not bothered to report on the death of an eight-year-old boy – and really, Lily should not have been surprised. Though rare, Thestral accidents were not unheard of, and the Prophet must have simply thought that there were more important issues to report on.

She leaned back against the chair, biting her lip as she mulled over what she had just read.

It just did not make any sense. Why would the Prophet say that the boy had died if it was not true? Though it was clearly a secret, she had no idea how closely guarded the information was. Rawlings had been talking to McGonagall about it, so clearly at least some people knew he was still alive, but at the same time, Rawlings's family must have had a good reason to fake his death – at least as far as the Prophet was concerned – as well as lie about what had happened, seeing as Lily had a hard time believing that Shiloh's family would go through all of this because of a mere Thestral accident.

"What are you doing?" demanded a sharp voice, and Lily jumped, startled to see Madam Pince towering over her, looking like a vulture protecting an animal carcass from other predators.

"I was just researching some things," said Lily evasively. No matter how quiet she was in the library, Madam Pince always acted as though Lily was up to something.

"No books? Quills? Parchment?" pestered Madam Pince relentlessly. "Whatever you have planned, take it somewhere else – I don't want it in my library."

Lily knew better than to argue – she had tried and only ended up with a three-day ban as a result – so she reluctantly folded up the newspaper and placed it back onto the pile before shuffling out of the library, Madam Pince hovering over her the entire way.