December 27th, 1976
Lewis and I went to the ministry the day after Sirius met the family. Sirius had tried to convince me to let him come with me, seeing that he had some business to attend to regarding his uncle's will, but I had told him that I needed to do this on my own. As I sat in the waiting room, waiting for Lewis to come out with the forms that I needed to complete, I started to regret my decision. It seemed that no matter how many people I told, and how well it went, the pit in my stomach grew every time I was in a situation where I was going to have to talk about what happened.
Lewis came out from the office a few minutes later and handed me a form and a quill. I filled out the basic information – name, age, blood-status, wizarding school – and then looked towards the more difficult questions. It asked me to identify whom I was filing a complaint about, and to briefly describe the nature of the crime. I spent a moment writing the incident in the third person, hoping that by detaching myself from the situation it would ease the urge to vomit that I was experiencing. When I had finished writing, I looked at Lewis. He was sitting with his leg crossed over his knee, his professional black robes perfectly pressed, the perfect picture of a wizard at ease; but based on the look he was giving me, and how clammy his hands were when he touched my bare knee briefly, I knew that he was feeling just as uneasy as I was.
"All done, Addie?" He coughed awkwardly, his hand still on my knee in a gesture of comfort.
"I think so. What happens next?" I answered, nervous that I was going to have to sit in front of some stranger and answer intimate details about what happened. Lewis swallowed and took the papers from me. He looked over them briefly, skipping over the part where I described the attack, to make sure I had completed all of the required fields.
"Nothing today. I was able to get your case fast-tracked, so they will review the paperwork and then will bring that basta–" He cut himself off and cleared his throat, looking around the room to see if any of his colleagues had heard him. "The defendant in for questioning, within the next week. We're going to try to get him in before you go back to school at the end of the week, but if I have to pull him out I will."
"And what happens after that. When do I have to…you know. Talk about it?" I was definitely nervous. It felt different talking in front of a group of strangers about what happened than it did telling people I loved – people who I knew deep down would love me no matter what.
"Depending on what he says, you may not have to. If he pleads guilty, then he will be sentenced without you ever having to get involved. If he pleads innocent then a trial date will be set, and we will call you back in to give a statement and possibly to testify," Lewis explained gently to me. "Most of the time, in these cases, the defendant will choose to plead innocent and set a trial date. During the trail you'll both be called up to testify under the influence of veritaserum and then a panel of judges will vote on whether to rule guilty or innocent."
"Okay. So for right now, I don't have to do anything else, and what happens next will be up to Jase telling the truth or lying," I was trying to wrap my head around everything, but even this small amount of work had left me emotionally drained. I knew that I was doing the right thing, and that Jase needed to face the consequences of his actions, but the process was going to take a lot out of me. I hope I'm strong enough to do it – for my sake and for all of the other girls that Jase may have hurt before or after me.
"Yes. I'm sorry, but that's the way it works," Lewis bit his lip, looking like he was thinking hard about something. He got up suddenly, "Alright, let's get out of here. Let's get a butterbeer at the Leaky Cauldron before I have to head back to work."
"That sounds…perfect," I admitted, waiting for him to file the paperwork for me with the clerk sitting at a large mahogany desk at the front of the waiting room. The older witch sitting behind the desk took the papers and looked them over brusquely. She waved her wand and the papers flew into a magical filing system behind her desk. Lewis nodded his thanks and turned back to me. He threw his arm over my shoulder and ushered me out of the room. When we reached the magical lift, it dinged and the golden gates opened to Sirius rushing out.
"Sirius!" I cried, shocked to see him. It was surreal – seeing him in the hallway of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, looking like he belonged at a rock concert in his faded muggle jeans and signature leather jacket. I was overwhelmed with something upon seeing him – even though I had told him not to come, he knew I needed him and he showed up anyway. I threw myself into his arms, surprising him a little. He quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing the top of my head. The contact was like a reset button – my emotionally drained battery filled almost immediately.
"Hey there, kitten. Did I miss it? I'm sorry, I know you said you wanted to do it alone, but I was here looking over Uncle Alphard's will and I felt weird not being here with you. I came as quickly as I could but the bint in the Magical Will Office kept making excuses to keep me there," Sirius said quickly, rolling his eyes, and turning his attention to Lewis.
"Pleasure as always, Sirius," Lewis laughed, clapping him on the back. "We were heading to the Leaky for a drink, shake the nerves out. Fancy coming with us?"
"Always up for a drink," Sirius said, falling in to a mock bow and ushering us on to the lift that he had just exited. "So how was it? What do you have to do next?"
"It was…fine." I said, thinking thoroughly for a word to describe the experience. Fine was the only one that truly encapsulated how neutral I felt about the process. "I filled out some paperwork. They'll call in Jase for questioning and then we'll move forward from there."
"Isn't that going to be dangerous for her?" Sirius addressed Lewis now. The elevator had plunged down to the atrium level, and we stepped out into the bustling room. "If he knows that Addison is pressing charges, won't he likely approach her at school?"
"It's definitely a possibility. We can issue a restraining order, so he won't be able to eat while she's in the Great Hall, or be in the common room when she is. The problem is, unlike magical restraining orders where the defendant is physically propelled away from the plaintiff if they get too close, muggle restraining orders are trust based. Because they'll both be cooped up in the same school, we can't legally issue a magical restraining order," Lewis went in to a description of the law – passed by a Malfoy ancestor a few decades ago – that had made it unlawful to pass a magical restraining order when it would cause "undue harm" to the defendant.
Sirius and Lewis chatted about the law the entire walk to the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius was heated, knowing that the Malfoys had used their pureblood influence to get the Wizengamot to pass a law that would only benefit those that had done wrong and needed a loophole to get out of it. Undue harm would mean that those accused of a crime could get out of a magical restraining order if they worked with the victim, ran in the same social circle, or even lived with the victim. Purebloods had been using the loophole to abuse co-workers, children of friends, and their own spouses and children for decades.
"It's disgusting! You're telling me that even if my cousin Narcissa wanted to get away from her husband, she couldn't because the bastard can't be forced out of his own home – even if he's abusing his wife in every room of the manor?" Sirius growled, throwing his hands in the air. "The only way for her to get away from him is if she leaves the house and lives on the streets? It's not like anyone in my family would take her in after disgracing the family name by leaving her weasel of a husband."
"If that law pisses you off, wait until I tell you about the Pureblood Purification Act," Lewis laughed, launching in to a description of the law that makes it legal for the Sacred Twenty Eight to challenge any non pure-blood wizard to a duel. It was mainly used as an excuse to seize the land of half-bloods and muggle-borns, in exchange for calling off the duel.
As Lewis and Sirius argued, I motioned to Tom, the owner, for three butterbeers and a plate of chips. They appeared in front of us, and I took a sip of mine. The warmth filled my whole body, all the way down to my toes. The sweetness of the butterscotch coated my mouth, bringing me back to my senses. I savored the sip, sighing when I swallowed, and both Lewis and Sirius turned to stare at me.
"Better?" Sirius laughed, grabbing his own pint and taking a large swig. "Ugh, I have to say, Rosmerta's brew is great, but there's nothing like a Leaky Cauldron butterbeer."
"Pass on over the chips, I'm starved," Lewis asked, grabbing his own pint. I slid the plate over towards him. Sirius and him dug in enthusiastically, table manners gone to the wind. We chatted for a while about different things, Lewis and Sirius arguing about Puddlemere United's season, before Lewis stood up. "Well, as fun as this has been, I've got to get back to work. Addie, I'll stop by the house later in the week to let you know what's going on. Love you, little sister. Sirius, good to see you again."
Lewis walked out, after throwing a couple of sickles down on the table. I rolled my eyes at his cockiness – like I couldn't afford to buy him a butterbeer. Sirius slid around the booth, closer to me once Lewis had walked out the front door back in to London.
"Hi," He said cutely, looking at me through his eyelashes in a way that reminded me of a puppy.
"Hi," I giggled, my eyes roaming his face and breaking in to a huge smile. Sirius smiled back, but the grin faded quickly as he took my hand.
" Are you okay, truly? I was worried about my tiny kitty cat," He asked, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. I scrunched my nose up at "tiny kitty cat" and he barked out a laugh. "No, don't like that one?"
"Not my favorite, puppy dog," I joked back. He laughed again, much harder than the joke called for, but quickly sobered up.
"But seriously, love, how are you doing?" He was looking at me sternly, letting me know that he was done joking. It was time to be serious.
"I'm okay. I just filled out paperwork today, but it was still a little nerve-wracking." I admitted, biting my lip. Sirius brought his finger up and pulled my lip out from me teeth gently. He traced my mouth slightly with his finger before moving his hand to cup my chin. I knew he was trying to be comforting, but he was doing a much better job distracting me than comforting me. I pulled myself together and continued, "I am a little nervous that he's going to know that I'm pressing charges and if he pleads innocent, we'll be stuck together at school until whatever date they set the trial for."
"You know that we'll all be looking out for you. And Lewis's office will notify Dumbledore and McGonagall, so they'll be looking out for you too. We promised each other that we'd keep each other safe, and I intend to keep my promise," he was looking at me with a look of such intense determination, that I had to give in and kiss him. That feeling from the hallway earlier was back. It was like my body was being filled with sunshine, warming me faster and more fully than even the butterbeer had been able to; my heart was thumping in a happy dance, and my magic was reaching out towards Sirius in a desperate attempt to link us in a more permanent way. It hit me out of nowhere – love. This was love that I was feeling – total and complete love. He had shown up when I needed him the most, even though I hadn't known myself that I needed him. He was always there for me, through the good and bad. He had gone from being the person I hated the most, to the most important person in my life. I pulled away from him slightly, leaning my forehead against his. I felt my mouth split into a huge grin, and saw Sirius give me a confused look.
"What? Was it something I sai–"
"I love you," I interrupted him, breathlessly. I smiled harder upon seeing his face whiten in shock. I loved being able to surprise him; it seemed like he always was one step ahead of me lately, and I loved the look of awe in his eyes as he regarded me. "You don't have to say it back, if you don't feel it. I just had to say it."
Sirius was frozen for a second before he seemed to snap out of his shock. He leaned in to kiss me ferociously, devouring my lips with his own. He kept the kiss intense for a minute, before slowing down to a gentler pace. He pulled back and peppered my lips with little loving kisses before pulling back. His lips, which had been smiling slightly before, fell to a straight line.
"Say it again?" He was looking at me with such an insecure expression on his face, that my heart fell for him. I could only imagine that those three words had never been spoken to him in his life before – maybe by James, Remus and Peter – but certainly never by a woman, including his own mother.
"Sirius Orion Black, I love you so much," I said in a sweet voice. I smiled when Sirius broke in to a huge grin at those words, looking like the sweetest little kid being told he could pick out a piece of candy from the store.
"I love you too, baby," He reciprocated, huge grin on his face. "I have for a long time, but I didn't realize it until the very first night you spent in my bed. I didn't think I was capable of love, coming from a family like mine. But you changed all of that in one night; the night you told me about Jase, it awakened something in me that had been dormant for a long time. I wanted to protect you, I wanted to take away your pain, I wanted you to be…mine."
"I am yours, Sirius. I have been since the moment I told you about Jase, the first moment I was able to breath again. You made me strong again, you made me feel whole. You taught me what it feels like to be loved by a man, and to love a man back. The oddity of our bond is that it was formed through pain; if I hadn't been in pain, you never would have felt the need to protect me. We'd still hate each other. But we proved that through pain and suffering there is light and joy."
"I have something that I want to show you. Come with me?" Sirius said as if the thought just struck him. When I shot him a look, he laughed and kissed me nose. "Trust me, kitten."
"You're ruining our big romantic moment," I whined, although my interest had been piqued.
"I promise to make it up to you," He said mischievously. My interest was definitely piqued now, so I grabbed my bag and stood up. When he stood up in front of me, I smacked his butt and winked at him. He turned and with a look of fake outrage on his face said, "Woman, we are in public!"
I laughed and slapped his butt again to get him moving. He walked, wiggling his hips in imitation of a seductive woman, and I giggled as I followed him. This is the man that I'm in love with…Merlin help me.
He pulled me through Diagon Alley until we came to a pub called The Mystic. It was a brick building, three stories tall, with pretty black windows and flower boxes hanging from the windowsills. The pub looked homey, with red chairs and photos hanging all over the walls. A fireplace lit the entire bar in a warm, flickering glow. It looked like the kind of place I could imagine all of us hanging out in and laughing the night away. I loved it immediately.
"Sirius…what are we doing here?" I asked, confused. Did he just want to get a drink? We could have had a drink at the Leaky Cauldron and not trekked all the way here.
"You are looking at my new home!" He said, gesturing at the building in front of us. My jaw dropped, and I looked at him in shock.
"You bought this building?" I asked incredulously, walking to the front door and peaking in. It wasn't full – it was the middle of the day – but there were about three patrons inside chatting with the bartender. The bartender was an attractive man, in his early twenties. He had floppy blonde hair, tanned skin, and the whitest smile I had ever seen.
"Well…" he scratched the back of his head, looking in the bar with me. "No, I bought an apartment inside the building."
"But how? How did you afford it?"
"My Uncle Alphard. Turns out he did a little more than support my morals…he actually left me a fair bit of gold," Sirius said sheepishly, looking a little embarrassed.
"Sirius, that is incredible! Why didn't you tell me?" I slapped his chest in mock anger, looking up at the building, wondering which floor his apartment was on.
"It just felt like something I needed to do on my own. I told Mum and Dad – Mr. and Mrs. Potter – but they didn't take it so well. Told me I was too young to be on my own and that they wanted me to stay with them until we graduated. But I'm 17 now. I'm of age, and I'm tired of being a burden. It's time to take care of myself," Sirius explained, putting his arm around my shoulder as we both looked up at the building. I was quiet for a minute thinking about what he had said. It made sense. Sirius hated other people looking out for him – he was fiercely independent. He needed to feel like he was taking care of other people, so of course he did this on his own.
"Well…Can I see it?" I asked brightly.
"Of course you can, kitten. Maybe, when we graduate…you'll consider calling it home too?" He asked me hesitantly, not looking at me. He was avoiding my eyes, not wanting to see my reaction to his question. His question didn't floor me, like it should have. It didn't scare me that we were moving too fast. It filled me with excitement and joy that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I almost wished we were graduating this year, so we could move in together and begin our lives already.
"I think I'd like that, love. Now let me go see it, already!"
The apartment was the top floor. It was a lovely two bedroom, one bath with exposed brick and those big beautiful windows that I had admired outside. It had a large kitchen with new appliances, and a fireplace crackling merrily in the living room. Sirius had already decorated it in Gryffindor colors, the entire apartment comfy and homey. The hearth was decorated with pictures of the Marauders, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and me. I smiled when I saw the picture that Sirius had framed of me; I was sitting in the window seat of the Gryffindor common room, reading a book, not looking at the camera. The light filtering in through the window made me look almost ethereal; my hair was shining, my skin was clear, and I looked…content. Happy.
The best part of the apartment was the staircase from the living room, which led up to a glass door. It opened up onto the roof, which Sirius had decorated with string lights and couches. He had a rustic, wooden bar set up in one corner, stocked with more alcohol than we could possibly hope to drink in our lifetimes. We sat on the roof for a while, cuddled up together; Sirius had charmed the roof in almost a bubble, so that the roof would be warm even in the dead of winter.
True to his word, Sirius had made it up to me; several times over. As I lay naked in his arms, I looked up at him and realized that this was my future. This was the man I was going to marry, the man I was going to have a family with. He smiled down at me contentedly, and I knew that our future could bring nothing but happiness, as long as we were together. I was looking at my future, and nothing could ruin it.
