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TW: Vomit, Blood, Panic from minor suffocation
To-xXx-Realize-xXx-This-xXx-Wish
It was the middle of the night when Sora was dragged out of bed by his Keyblade. He threw his black coat and gloves on and trudged outside into the snowstorm happening outside bitterly.
Sora rubbed his chest as he breathed carefully. His penchant for hoarding things had been slightly abated over the past ten or so months since Aveia had joined him and Aced, but it really was a losing battle. Sooner or later he was going to have an attack and flip out in some manner, and he had no idea how that would even go down.
He'd lost it over a number of different things, but greed as it were, was one of the least of his problems.
Yet, he'd produced so many random magically imbued outfits and given them over to the Moogles, that he was seriously thinking of trying his hand at bear suits just to take more time on it.
He coughed, the pain in his chest and the bitter air not really helping him.
Sora trudged to the hill that overlooked Daybreak Town. It was his favorite spot and his most hated spot.
Tonight he hated it, as a tall feminine form of light skin and lips, with hair and lashes of darkest black awaited his presence. The flowing gold clothes and rainbow gleam around them was something that didn't even faze him now. Their light blue eyes of varied shades locked onto his indigo colored left eye as they reached out towards him in affection, "Aah… my Dearly Beloved. It has been far too long since we last met."
It hadn't been long enough.
He sighed lightly as he gazed at them, "What is it that you want from me?" He was tired.
They came close, the blizzard leaving them unfazed as they gently touched his face. He despised their proximity but decided it was tolerable tonight, if only because the closer they came, the more the weather around them seemed to disappear. Their aura was also just a touch warm, and his fingers were going numb.
"How can I make you look my way, Beloved? I long for you, yet you only think of those who are long-since-gone and yet-to-come."
Sora sighed as he closed his eye, "My friends… no matter how long ago it was since I last remembered the sound of their voices…" He laid his hand over his heart, "No matter how long I've lived and changed…" He opened his eye to look into theirs, "They are what keeps me going. Through every Loop, through each joy and misery this long-lived life takes me. They are the reason I keep going forward. One day I will save all of them. All of them will be restored, and we will hold hands and finally laugh together. We'll grow together, and they will still continue to be the source of my Power."
Kingdom Hearts frowned sadly, "Are they not the reason your Heart has been torn asunder?"
Sora frowned, "Yes, but I did that willingly to-" He stopped as a strange look came over him. "Uh?" His Memory sputtered out.
Kingdom Hearts looked him over in sympathy, "The Memory has been shuttered away for safekeeping. You know deep down what it is that happened, but you mustn't remember." They caressed his hair lovingly before pulling him into their breast, "How I long to be loved with such incredible devotion."
Sora couldn't help the thought as it passed through his mind, 'Xemnas would have been a perfect fit.'
A light feminine laugh of many tones puffed by his ear, "That creature had-has no Heart. He of Nothing could never truly satisfy a Heart that is the root of all Worlds. Connecting all."
Sora closed his eye. He figured if he just dealt with this being doing as they pleased he wouldn't cause himself further harm. His chest still ached and he simply didn't have the Will, "Is it because I can connect to the people of any and all Worlds that I caught your interest?"
They held him closer to themselves, nearly touching the snow beneath him as it reached halfway up his boots and dragged his coat. "Yes. I cannot connect to human Hearts. Merely contain and return them. The Worlds are both the same and not. If they fall because of Darkness, they go into the realm I cannot reach. If they simply perish for other reasons, they either change into a new image, or return to me as well to be reborn."
Hollow Bastion.
He'd witnessed at least one of the two situations. Aqua would probably know if the other were true.
"Oh." Sora found himself relaxing into their hold, allowing far more physical contact than he ever had before. Was it loneliness or weariness? He didn't know anymore, and he knew Kingdom Hearts was probably lulling him in some other way, but a small, small frightened part of him realized that their presence was familiar and shuttered the idea away.
The being holding him continued to run their hand over his hair, slowly causing him to realize they were comforting him. He furrowed his brows as he spoke softly, "Why did you call me out here?"
Kingdom Hearts sighed softly, "To understand you more. To plan. Time runs short for this World and soon it will Break, just as you've seen and predicted countless times before. I remember Loops just as much as you, yet similarly I lose what knowledge I have gained."
Sora was terrified by that, "You remember them?"
"I too will one day break. Just like you. Just like them."
He didn't have the strength to pull away anymore, "...How?"
"I do not know. But only the husk of myself will be left behind, that which is simply drawn by the blade made up of many Hearts."
The -blade.
Of course. Made of twenty pieces, several Hearts, and that which can call upon the Great Moon.
"Oh."
They breathily laughed, "I am also trying to buy you time with that which builds in your chest. Somehow we are connected, and it pains me to see you struggle so."
Sora relented, deciding he was done thinking for the moment, "...Thanks?"
They seemed to giggle, "I know you hold no affection for me as I am. It is inevitable as I am a being that can do as I please against your Will. I wish to commune equally. I am happy that you are more comfortable tonight than times previous."
Sora huffed, "I'm exhausted. I also don't want to throw up, so that's kind of a big part of it."
"You think of your wards a lot."
"I get freaked out when I throw up like that, I don't want to scare them like I did Chloe…" He had been alone for many of his episodes, his partner being the first and last to witness his horrible fits in ages.
"I don't understand humans, but each time we meet I feel like I somehow understand a little more." They sighed longingly as they pulled back and caressed his face under his bangs on his right side, "I cannot buy you much time, but I will take what I can. I cannot unbalance myself, lest it bring everything to its end that much sooner." He was confused for a split second before they pressed their lips against his deeply. He didn't even freeze as he simply went with it.
He was so tired.
They pulled back with a soft sigh after a long moment, "Until next time, my Dearly Beloved." Kingdom Hearts left him first in a simple mist and shimmer as the cold around him bit into his flesh and brought him back into awareness. The pain in his chest greatly reduced.
Yet, he couldn't help but touch his lips as tears gathered in his eye as he thought of his two closest friends.
To-xXx-Realize-xXx-This-xXx-Wish
Two months later and they were celebrating his birthday. He honestly couldn't figure out how Aced and Aveia had figured that information out, but he must have either said something, or they found the information through other means.
The truth was, was after they had celebrated Aced's 18th birthday the two of them had gotten him to spill while he'd been distracted. Aveia had been the first to accidentally realize he was far more willing to give up information if he was distracted, especially while cooking.
So there they were, a birthday cake on the table they'd procured from somewhere, and grins on their faces. He rubbed the back of his head flustered since he hadn't really bothered to celebrate since Chloe's passing. "You guys shouldn't have…"
Aveia's eyes widened, "D-do you not like it Vara?" Aced was giving him a Look that clearly said just who's plan this was. Of course children loved birthdays.
Sora slumped a little, "I kind of forget about it every year…"
Aveia huffed and spoke smartly, "Just because you've lived, like, forever, doesn't mean you shouldn't count the past year's blessings."
Sora smirked, "But isn't that what New Year's is for?"
The two paused and looked at him funny.
….Did.. wait, was that not a normal thing yet?
Sora blushed, 'Shit. Each World has their own traditions, and I guess one's birthday is good enough… But weren't there cultures that simply went with seasons for that sort of thing?" He ruffled his hair confused, 'Why are Worlds and their many histories so confusing!? I never learned this stuff!"
Vanitas laughed at the back of his mind, 'Stop thinking so hard, I can smell your hair burning."
'Vanitas!'
The Darkling chuckled as he minded himself once more.
He smiled, "Thank you Aced, Aveia. I really appreciate it." He belatedly realized he was crying and gasped when he realized his two students had also noticed and rubbed at his face harshly, "S-sorry, don't mind me!" Sora chuckled nervously as he tried to regain his bearings.
Taking a deep breath he exhaled slowly and looked at them kindly, "I guess I've gone a little too long without this. Thank you."
They nodded, still concerned as Sora placed his hands on his hips, "So what are we eating?"
Aced and Aveia glanced at each other before she responded, "Cake!"
"Aa~aand?"
Aced blushed, "We could only afford this, Master…"
Sora blinked before bursting out laughing, "That's not-! Awe, guys, what do you wanna eat? We can't just eat cake!"
Aveia blinked, "Yeah we can."
He sighed as he simply went about cutting and serving it between the three of them, "I know it sounds like a dream to do that, but I've tried it before. Your stomach will hurt and it'll be nothing but regret. Now, tell me what you two want for dinner and I'll happily make it."
Aveia pouted, "But Master loves sweets… I thought you'd like to just eat cake for dinner on your birthday!"
Sora wasn't sure if it was simply Aveia finally gaining the courage to actually voice her desires, as minimal as they were, but clearly she had a similar penchant for sweets as he did. They both clearly had to curb that issue on a personal level, though Aveia only ever ate one sweet a day if presented with the chance. Her self control and overall discipline was beyond him.
Sora sighed lightly as he looked pleadingly at Aced as they all started eating the cake, "Well?"
Aced frowned, "What reminds you of home?"
"Fish." He hadn't even had to think about it.
The two blinked as he responded, "Really?"
Sora nodded. They didn't really have access to any of the fruits from back home, but fish and other seafoods were definitely up there on his daily diet that he had access too… which is probably why he had avoided it for a time.
Sora stood after he finished his piece, "You two take some time to study those brewing equations on your own, and I'll go pick up some ingredients."
Aced stood, "But Master, let us go!"
Sora smiled as he placed a hand gently on Aveia's head before she could hop up alongside him, "I'm actually going to catch that food myself." The two stared at him as he continued with a chuckle, "It's been a long time since I've caught anything personally, and I used to be able to catch a fish barehanded…"
Aced's eyes widened, "You lived in a port Town?"
Sora blinked, "This is a port Town. I lived on an-" He stopped. "There was a beach, ok?" Why couldn't he talk about home?
Aced hummed, "Oh. Well, don't take too long, Master. It's getting dark outside."
Sora nodded as he waved a hand, "Of course. If it takes me more than a half hour I'll just buy something on the way back."
Aced gave him a look that said everything about Sora's lack of awareness in that area. He laughed and patted his shoulder as he moved past them, "I promise, ok?"
Aced huffed, "Alright, Master."
Aveia smiled, "Good luck, Master."
Sora nodded as he disappeared into the hall.
Thankfully, he was still capable, and soon enough returned with enough fish for the three of them.
He dreamt of Home as a Star blinked out from the sky.
To-xXx-Realize-xXx-This-xXx-Wish
It was deep into summer when Sora was faced with Kingdom Hearts once more. Their form masculine yet young presenting this time as their skin and lips were darkest black with lashes and hair lightest white, "I am sorry." Their indistinct yet vaguely more masculine toned voice was remorseful as they gazed at him sadly.
Sora frowned, "What do you mean?"
They closed their eyes, "I was forced to send your birthplace forward."
Sora stared, not really understanding, yet finding he understood all the same, "What.. what do you mean?"
They opened their eyes and held their arms close to their chest, "Your World… it is not meant to be as old as this World, or many others. It cannot be here during the Break." Sora's brows furrowed, "Just as you travel through Time, so has your Home. It's Star will one day return with none the wiser."
He gasped as he looked up at the clear sky, looking for that familiar flicker, only to realize they were right.
Sora wanted to be angry, yet, he knew that Kingdom Hearts was correct. Destiny Islands was too small of a World to survive so many countless ages.
It had been born too early, and so it was forcibly sent ahead to the ignorance of its populace.
Sora took in a deep breath and slowly released it as tightness built up in his chest, "Oh." The mixed brunette looked at the being, realizing it was presenting itself in a shorter form, petite more like a young teenage boy than the tall and strong form they tended to take. "Why tell me?"
"Because it was my doing, and I didn't want you to worry."
Sora slowly nodded. Kingdom Hearts did care about his feelings towards them more than anything. It made sense as he felt his shoulders slump, "Uhm, well." He rubbed his head, "Thanks?"
Their toes brushed along the grass around them as they continued to look apprehensive.
It was an odd turn of events.
Sora walked to the edge of the ridge around them and sat amicably, picking up a flower as he twirled it in his fingers absently while staring out over Daybreak. Kingdom Hearts was watching him wearily before slowly allowing themselves to fully stand on the ground beneath and sit by his side, their knees tucked up to their chest as they, too, looked out into the horizon.
They simply sat in each other's presence. No words needing to be spoken as Sora came to terms with Destiny Islands not being a comforting Star in the sky for now. He knew it would be back, it was just… confusing. "You know, there was a story about a World traveler in our Library."
Kingdom Hearts nodded, "Your World will move just as you have through time, appearing and disappearing as needed."
Sora blinked as he turned to them, "Really?" They nodded as Sora felt a vague suspicion, "What are you planning?"
They didn't look at him for a long time as they stayed silent before they slowly turned his way tiredly. It was strange to see something that seemed nearly Divine look so tired, "I cannot tell you."
Sora didn't like that at all, "Why?"
They smiled bitterly, "You cannot stop me from shattering, not even I can stop myself from being shattered. That impending battle will bring me forth no matter what my desire might be. None can take hold of the Blade that will be born of that fight. You must shatter it."
Sora already knew he wouldn't be there anymore by the time that tragedy occurred, "How can you expect that of me?"
They smiled, "You're good at making the impossible possible. You have lived unknowingly as a Heartless. I'm sure you can figure something out, as the one who carries my Key."
Sora wanted to speak as he opened his mouth with a sharp breath, yet in a single blink Kingdom Hearts was gone.
He exhaled and flopped onto his back, staring at the sky in confused frustration.
To-xXx-Realize-xXx-This-xXx-Wish
Sora was struggling to keep his breath as he took each step with an eye half open and nearly blind in pain. It was late in the night, and he'd been caught up in writing in his journals again in his study.
The pain in his chest had become unbearable, as his stomach clenched and that horrible cold sweat broke out on his skin.
He tried to swallow as his mouth felt too dry and found he couldn't.
Sora pushed himself onwards, trying to recall where the nearest restroom was, but knowing he wouldn't make it. The help Kingdom Hearts had given him had bled out, and he still couldn't get the Holy Water equations right. The stuff the Moogles sold was also miserably too low of a quality to do much help as Max Potions seemed to be more effective. Heck, Panacea's did a better job than the Moogle's sad excuse for Holy Water.
He coughed, his stomach clenching again as he fell to his knees in a hallway corner. It'd been… ages since he'd last made a mess of himself. It was unfortunate that Auron and Vanitas, for whatever reason, had become unavailable to be summoned since Aced had joined him.
That horrible oily black spilled onto the floor beneath him, disgustingly coating his arm and mouth as he had fallen oddly. He didn't want to wake up either of his wards with his misery, and was glad that he didn't seem to be coughing the way he usually did when this happened. Still, the cold sweat, spasming muscles, and overall weakness was disturbing every time and he barely had time to breath in before he was left with more black spilling forth.
He coughed lightly, copper filling his mouth as he vomited bright red.
He choked in terror at the sight of it, his breath caught as he felt himself immediately panic as if he'd had the wind knocked out of him. He clutched at his chest and clawed at his throat for a flailing moment as he collapsed onto his side, finally knocking some air into his lungs and passing out.
By the time Aced and Aveia found him in the morning, he was shivering and nearly grey as old sun freckles turned greyish blue against his pallor. Aced ran forward first, holding back his revulsion at the congealed oily black mess Sora was found collapsed in, the brownish red mixed in making Aced even more concerned as he gently pulled the man into his arms, "Master?!" The man was wheezing quietly with each breath.
Aveia came close, her hands clasped close to her chest as Aced realized he should have told her to stay back. Yet, the child came to their Master's other side with glassy eyes, unfazed by the mess as she carefully checked the man's low temperature, "...Vara?"
Slowly his eye opened, only to reveal itself to be red instead of the indigo blue they were used to. He glanced between the two of them tiredly as he breathed out mutely, "Fuck."
Aced frowned, "Master."
Aveia tilted her head in concern, "You're the other part of Master's Heart."
Aced blinked in confusion as the man looked at her for a long and silent moment. He barely nodded as Aveia gently placed her hand over his Heart, "Is Master alright?"
Now that Aced took a moment, he realized the man's lips weren't the right color, and lately he'd noted the Master's eye and hair color had shifted into something more sickly and wrong.
The man vaguely shook his head as he seemed to try and speak coherently. The voice was raspy, similar in tone, but more dark in inflection, "We-I need Holy Water."
Aveia blinked, "Don't the Moogles sell it?"
The man sighed tiredly, "Trash. Been trying..to formulate better."
Aced's eyes widened, "You've been trying to produce your own Holy Water?!"
The man smiled bitterly, "For Centuries."
Aveia took his hand despite the grossness coating it, "Where?! Let me try to make it for you!"
The man, no, Vanitas frowned as he stared at her. He knew that she was already incredible at brewing various Potions since it went hand in hand with her Healing based Magic. He took as deep a breath as he could manage, "In the study. A green notebook. You need a Keyblade."
Aveia frowned, "Oh."
That was a problem.
Sora hadn't granted that to her. Vanitas closed his eye, trying to think of what to do when suddenly he felt the world around him bleed away into a waking Dream that seemed to freeze time.
He was on the Play Island, a young man with silver hair and wine colored eyes standing before him with his hands on his hips, relaxed, "Well. You're not the one I expected to talk to."
Vanitas frowned as he looked down at himself, wearing his inverted version of Sora's third adventuring outfit. He looked back at the man, "Haiiro."
The man nodded as Oathkeeper summoned to his palm. Vanitas blinked as he looked at its foreign presence in his hand.
That Keyblade was too Light for the likes of him.
Haiiro chuckled as he pulled up Vanitas's wrist awkwardly and unclipped Kairi's charm, reaching into one of Vanitas's pockets and pulling out his white and maroon version, clipping it onto the blade before releasing him. He put the favored old charm into one of Vanitas's pockets with a gentle pat, "Wish Keeper should work just fine for this task, eh?"
Vanitas frowned, "But-"
Haiiro looked Vanitas in the eyes, "Sora will come back. He's just stuck in his Heart's depths healing. Holy Water will help him recover faster, right?"
Vanitas wasn't up to this sort of surreal shit as Haiiro laughed heartily and slapped him on the shoulder, startling him back into reality as Wish Keeper summoned into his hand.
The Keyblade kept Oathkeeper's shape, but became two-toned as it bled between hues of white and wine colors. Vanitas looked at Aveia as he rasped, "It's not your official ceremony, but take my blade in hand and do as is needed to protect those you cherish. May it Guide your Heart."
Aveia took the Keyblade with courage and strength, taking off with it towards Sora's study.
Aced stared at him as Vanitas met his eye, "I want a bath."
Aced almost chuckled as he hefted him up in a princess carry, "We'll be glad for it."
Vanitas huffed as he closed his eye.
To-xXx-Realize-xXx-This-xXx-Wish
Vanitas was having a weird time actually using Sora's body. He was used to either being summoned in a fake and temporary form, or his hazy memories of his miserable life under Xehanort. All the same, Sora's body wasn't as much of a mess as it had been the first time he ended up in the driver's seat- but he was way taller, and he kept knocking things over, which only caused him to cuss a blue streak.
Aced was helping him minimally as per his request while also cleaning himself off from that horrible sludge, and the teen kept giving him dirty looks about his language. Vanitas sneered, "Aveia isn't here."
Aced rolled his eyes, "Yes, but she could probably hear you down the hall, sir. If you've been in the Master's head all of these years like some sort of… alternate personality, it certainly explains the way he spaces out sometimes."
Vanitas scoffed with an eye roll, "No, the idiot's always been like that."
Aced glared at him, "Do not disrespect my Master in his-your own body!"
Vanitas stared at him rudely for a long moment before laughing crudely. Aced bared his teeth at him, finding this more bitter version of his teacher distressing. He almost would have preferred the man to have stayed unconscious.
The Darkling flicked the bathwater he was in, disgusted at the feeling of Sora's skin and how frighteningly skinny he was.
Because that was another problem they'd had to deal with realizing once Aced had helped him mostly undress. He'd started becoming skin and bones again, and that had been a pain in the ass to fix the first time. The worst part was that Sora was eating regular meals, so Vanitas was confused on what was happening now.
They had plenty of advanced equipment, but not that of the medical variety. Vanitas would have to urge Sora to do something about that quickly so they didn't end up dying prematurely. He'd been there and done that twice, and he didn't want to find out if the third time would be the charm.
He sighed as he carefully got himself out of the water, roughly throwing a towel on his head and waist before gingerly getting out of the tub. He glared at the murky water he'd left behind as he waved Aced off, "Just grab some dark colored clothes and I'll deal with myself."
Aced left him, more than happy to leave the stranger's presence.
Vanitas sighed, carefully wiping himself down as he realized just how badly Sora's intake of Holy Water affected his physical status. No wonder he was falling apart bit by bit.
We can't go on like this much longer, can we?
It wasn't as if their Hearts merging had been a stop gap- they were well beyond that stage now. They were two Wills in one body, and Sora was deeply Asleep in his own Mind.
It had been rare for Vanitas to begin philosophical debates, but he and Sora occasionally decided to burn off brain cells in boredom by debating a number of things or to understand their own knowledge.
The Mind, The Body, The Heart, The Soul, One's Will, One's Light, One's Darkness. What did each mean to one's existence? They were continuously burning questions that Vanitas couldn't release, for he didn't understand them. Well, Darkness he understood of course, but even then as one who had once been Darkness, he slowly found himself losing sense of what it meant in an individual versus a collective consciousness.
He rubbed his hair as he left the damp towel secured at his waist, gently coaxing out knots and tangles. He observed the ends of his hair and absently made Sora's body sharpen his nails just enough into red dipped claws and snipped the split ends he'd noticed.
Perhaps he was a bit more vain than Sora, but he really wished, even after all of these centuries, even after more than a millennia of living, that he'd take more care of himself.
He finished his task of hair trimming, allowing his nails to return to their regular human hue and shape as he leaned back, glancing at the door. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he realized Aveia was watching him quietly, a bottle of clear sparkling liquid in her hands as she cautiously approached him. Her eyes were sad, "You've been sick?"
Vanitas frowned, went to speak, but stopped himself. His mouth closed as he looked away for a moment before looking between her and the bottle as he gently spoke, "It's.. complicated. It comes and goes. We-I can go decades without problem, only to have that suddenly happen. Sometimes it builds, sometimes it's a surprise. I'm… sorry you had to see that."
Aveia observed him for a long and searching moment before pushing forward the bottle of liquid she'd produced, "I'll learn to make it even better next time, mister. You might not be as nice, but you're still kind."
Vanitas blinked at her before a smile came to him with a dark chuckle as he carefully took the bottle of too-Pure water into his hands. He observed it for a long moment before taking a careful and long drink of it. He was thankful this was Sora's body, as it didn't cause him harm, but he was shocked at how pure it was.
He glanced at Aveia when he took a moment halfway through as she watched in frightened excitement. Gently he placed his hand on her head, "It's incredible, I can already tell it's helping a lot more than anything else we've tried. Where were we going wrong?" He'd given up on correcting the singulars. The cat was out of the bag and there was simply no point.
She tilted her head as he pulled his hand back while she thought about it, "I don't think your equations were wrong… it's simply that your Heart wasn't pure enough."
Vanitas paused before turning his head away as he covered his mouth to cover the barking laugh that came from him, "Of course!" How stupid were they?! Of course Sora couldn't produce Pure Holy Water anymore, now that he'd merged his Heart with a being of Pure Darkness!
He quickly regained control of his laughing fit before quickly downing the rest of the purifying liquid, basking in its revitalizing effect on Sora's meatbag of a body. He sighed softly as he glanced down at the anxious seven year old, "Thank you Aveia."
She smiled brightly as Aced finally returned, "Master, your room is an absolute-" He stopped as he saw Aveia near him, "Wh-You shouldn't be in here!"
Aveia shrunk into herself as she backed up into the side of the tub as Vanitas sighed heavily, "I'm covered and I'm already feeling better from the Holy Water she produced. Give me my clothes and praise her."
Aced blinked as he looked awkwardly between the two before slumping slightly, carefully setting the clothes he'd gathered onto the counter before turning to Aveia and speaking gently, "Thank you for helping the Master, Aveia. Now let's allow the Master to dress, alright?"
The girl slowly nodded as she skirted around them and hurried out, the mahogany haired teen scratching his head as he glanced back at the other man. Vanitas shrugged and shooed him out, dismissing him for the moment so he could dress.
The door closed, and Vanitas lifted his head and sighed as he quietly lamented aloud, "You better wake up soon, Sora."
