A/N: Hello! Two updates in one day because I hit some inspiration and couldn't stop writing. This is my favorite chapter in the entire story, and provides a pivotal point in the story moving forward. We're going to be graduating Hogwarts soon and moving in to the war full force. The entire rest of the story is planned out, and I am so excited for you to see what I have planned!
There is a guest appearance from two of my favorite characters in this chapter. They were briefly mentioned before, so kudos to you if you caught on to that!
This chapter does has a NSFW seen towards the end. It is not necessary to read if you don't like those kind of scenes! It will be after the divider at the very end of the chapter.
December 24th, 1977
Sirius and I didn't speak for the rest of the week, not for lack of trying on his part. He tried to corner me outside of meals, in the common room, and in my compartment on the train ride home. I managed to avoid him each time, but I didn't miss the look of pure agony that he wore the entire week.
As we got off the train, James came to say goodbye to me – since I had decided to sit with Mary, Alice, Frank and Marlene this time, he had to scour the crowd for me. He found me with my mom and dad, just about to floo home.
"What is this? You thought you'd get away without saying goodbye to me?" He asked, hugging me tightly around the middle.
"Hello James! Where is that Sirius? We were just saying we wanted to wish him a happy Christmas," Mom said, kissing James on the cheek.
"Hello, Esme, Harold. Sirius unfortunately is uh…" He trailed off, looking at me to jump in.
"Sirius had an urgent appointment at his loft, a pipe broke last night so he had to rush over to take care of that. He sends his love," I jumped in, shooting James a look to make sure he didn't contradict me. James pursed his lips, but nodded once.
"That's a shame! Addie, make sure he stops by the house some time this week," Mom instructed, before grabbing Dad's arm before walking in to the floo. "James, it was lovely to see you. Stop by with Sirius, we'd love to see you. Happy Christmas!"
"I'll see what Mom has planned for us, but I will try my best. Happy Christmas to you as well!" He said. He looked at me, his lips still pursed, but waited until they had left before speaking again. "Sirius is fucking miserable. You need to talk to him because I think he's set to pitch himself off his broom if you two don't work things out."
"James, I appreciate you looking out for him. I just don't think it's going to work out between the two of us," I said awkwardly, wringing my hands together.
"That's bullshit and you know it! Look, Sirius can be an absolute idiot, but he loves you. You both love each other and life is too short to fight over silly things. Fix it," James demanded. He pulled me in to another hug before he turned to meet up with his parents. "I love you, Addie. But Sirius is my best friend too, and I can't see him suffer without saying anything."
Lily owled me the next day, asking if I would be willing to meet her in muggle London to do some Christmas shopping for her sister and soon-to-be brother in law. The wedding was this summer, and Petunia had been hinting that she wanted a new necklace to wear to the ceremony. So Christmas Eve, I met Lily in the center of London, which was decorated beautifully in wreaths and Christmas lights. It was like walking through the middle of a Christmas Carol, but I was Ebenezer Scrooge – not in the mood to celebrate Christmas at all and bitter that everyone else was in such cheerful moods.
I saw her familiar mess of red curls, tangled from the wind, leaning against the side of a bookstore, peering in through the window. I walked up to her, and she turned when she felt me stop beside her. She smiled brightly and looped her arm through mine.
"Hi there girlie! You look…" She looked me up and down, but trailed off. She smiled at me instead, deciding not to tell me that I looked horrible, which I knew I did. I had barely brushed my hair, I was wearing a baggy pair of jeans and an oversized jumper of Sirius's, and my face was pale with fatigue. I cocked my eyebrow at her, and she let it go, instead pulling me down the street towards a jewelry shop.
"I promised Mom and Dad that I would meet them at the Red Newt for Christmas Eve dinner tonight with the family, so I figured I would pop home and drop off any bags," At her insistent look, I continued. "Yes, I will shower and change."
After we had popped in to the jeweler, and Lily had picked out a horrendously flashy sapphire necklace – which cost too much money, but she insisted her sister would love – we walked through a couple of stores before settling on a thrift shop on the corner. I browsed through the rows and rows of graphic t-shirt and muggle rock band t-shirts, but nothing caught my eye. Lily was trying on a pair of bellbottoms, and I sat on the velvet stool outside of the changing room. I turned my head to the left and saw the most beautiful brown leather flight jacket with a sheepskin collar. I got up and reached a hand out, letting the buttery leather fall through my fingertips. It was perfectly distressed a vintage from the 1940's, according to the tag which listed the price. Without thinking, I had grabbed the jacket down from the wall and was moving towards the cashier.
"What do you think of these jeans? Do you think they make my arse look big?" Lily asked, coming out of the dressing room and turning to show me her backside. She looked over at me, realizing I was at the cashier. "What did you find?"
She came over to look, just as the cashier was folding the jacket and putting it in a bag for me. She gave me a knowing smile, and squeezed my arm. "It's perfect, Addie."
"I just saw it hanging there, and didn't even think," I said lamely, shrugging my shoulders. I accepted the bag the cashier was holding out to me with a thin smile. "The jeans look fabulous, and you should definitely buy them. James is going to lose his mind when he sees you in them."
"You think so?" She blushed, turning to look at her arse in the mirror in the corner of the shop. "Yeah, I think you're right. Okay, let me get out of these and pay, and then we should have time for a drink at the Leaky before you need to pop home."
Lily paid for the jeans, but decided to wear them out of the store as she was planning on going to the Potter's for dinner later tonight. Based on the number of guys on the street who did a double take when she walked past, they were a good purchase. I grabbed a table in the back corner, making sure to choose a different table than Sirius and I had chosen last time we were here. Lily went to the counter to grab two butterbeers from Tom, and made her way back over to me – if she noticed that I was staring at the empty table where I had told Sirius I loved him, she didn't say anything.
"Okay, so spill. I let you avoid talking about it all day, but you obviously are not okay," She said as soon as she sat down. "And I know why you're looking at that table with those love-struck puppy dog eyes, so you can spare me the 'I'm fine' speech you probably have been rehearsing all day."
I took a gulp of my butterbeer, and contemplated my answer before speaking. "It's not that I don't love him. It's just that…I don't know. Everything with the war started to freak me out. Knowing that he was going to be out there fighting every day, knowing that I could lose him? I just felt like I needed to have everything with him, or I shouldn't have anything – anything less than everything would hurt too much."
"Oh Addie, I understand how scary it is. I feel the same way about James," Lily drank from her own bottle. "Do you feel like you need to be engaged to feel secure in the relationship?"
I was taken aback at her question, at first feeling insulted that she thinks I was that shallow…like I was waiting for a big shiny ring. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to understand where she was coming from. "Look Lily, you've had James wrapped around your finger since the first day of first year. Sirius and I hated each other for six years, and then suddenly… we didn't. He could change his mind again."
"Sirius never hated you. He hid his feelings the only way a boy knows how…by being mean. James is a rare breed of boy who totally embraced his feelings from the get-go. It took Sirius some time, but do you honestly think that boy – the boy who said he was never going to settle down, but then bought an apartment for the two of you – would ever hurt you?" Lily's mouth was thin, trying to tell me that I was being an idiot without actually telling me I was being an idiot. It worked.
"Oh shit." I deadpanned. "Here I am, telling the commitment phobe who already took an incredible step in showing me how committed he is, that it wasn't enough. I'm such an arsehole."
"You're not an arsehole. You love him, and you want to marry him. But I do think you escalated a conversation that didn't need to be an ultimatum and made it into one," Lily sighed. She brought the bottle to her lips and took another swig.
"Nothing I can do about it right now. It happened already, and I doubt he's going to want to forgive me," I speculated, downing the rest of my drink and getting up. "Besides, I need to get home and change for dinner."
"Addie…just remember what your Nana Weasley said. If you think Sirius is your soul mate, then keep him in your life for as long as you can. It's better than losing him forever and regretting it for the rest of your life. Don't be afraid to lose him, live for the moments you have with him," Lily looked up at me from her seat. "Fight for him because I know that being without him when you could be with him is worse than losing him forever to this war."
I nodded at her, took my bag, and stepped in to the floo. The living room was dark; none of our Christmas lights were on and none of the other lights in the house were on. I shrugged, figuring Mom and Dad had already left for the restaurant to meet Lewis. I glanced at my watch, which I could read with the flames reflecting from the fireplace before they died out, and realized that I was running pretty late. I hurried upstairs without bothering to turn on any lights, and entered my bedroom. I took a look in the mirror and winced when I saw the bird's nest that was my hair. Luckily I had a jar of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion that James had given me last Christmas – as if that was a present, given that his father had invented the potion – and dropped a couple drops into my palm before running it through my hair.
I slapped some blush onto my cheeks to try to combat my pale complexion, and some mascara to accentuate my eyes. I slipped out of my comfortable clothes, and – knowing that the Red Newt was a very nice restaurant – into a strapless green A-line dress that ended at my knees. I gave myself a once over in the mirror, and decided that I looked much better than I had when I got home ten minutes ago. I grabbed a black clutch and secured my wand into it before stepping in to some tall black heels. I left my room, and walked to the top of the stairs, but realized that there were now lights coming from the living room.
"Mom? Dad? Did you forget something?" I called, looking down at the steps to make sure I didn't miss one and fall down them. Nobody answered. When both of my feet were firmly on the ground, I looked up to Sirius standing in front of our Christmas tree in a black tuxedo. At least, I think it was our Christmas tree, but it looked nothing like it had when I had left that morning. Instead of our very plainly decorated tree, what stood in front of me had strands of twinkle lights, maroon and gold tinsel, and live fairies in miniature birdcages. The topper was a brilliant star, which was sparkling alternatively between silver and gold. In addition to the tree, snow was falling from the ceiling, just like it did at Hogwarts and mistletoe hung in every corner of the room.
"Hi," He said simply. He looked so handsome standing there with the lights reflecting behind him, snow falling softly into his hair that it actually made me catch my breath. He took a step towards me at the same time I took a step towards him.
"Hi," I replied, my knees feeling weak suddenly. I stumbled slightly in my heels, which I was not used to wearing, and he grabbed my arm to steady me. "Sorry," I blushed.
"You look… absolutely beautiful," He said. His eyes were wide as he looked me over, but his eyes quickly snapped back up to my face. "I missed you."
"I missed you so much. Oh, Sirius, I'm so sorry for what happened at school. I was such an idiot," I said quickly. "Lily talked some sense in to me today. I don't need a ring to know you're committed to me; you bought us an apartment! How much more commitment do I need? Oh Merlin, I love you so much, please tell me that you'll–"
"Addie, please stop," Sirius interrupted me, chuckling softly as he grabbed both of my hands. "You don't need to apologize to me for anything. The reason that I was avoiding talking about marriage isn't because I don't want to marry you."
My heart jumped and my palms started to sweat. "Are you saying that you do want to marry me?"
"I didn't have a loving childhood. The only form of affection I ever knew before meeting the Marauders was not getting the shit beaten out of me. That was a good day for me. My mother and father never spoke of things like love; they never told me they were proud of me. I didn't know that someone could love whole-heartedly, that someone could love you without wanting anything in return. I didn't know that love was anything more than a persuasion technique, to be given and taken away at will. I didn't know that this was an option for me. And then you came in to my life and shattered everything I thought I knew. You turned everything upside down and showed me that not only was I capable of love, but I was worthy of love," Sirius continued, as though he had not heard me. He took a deep breath, and looked down at our hands. "You showed me what it was like to find someone who makes you feel whole; someone who knows your flaws and loves you anyway. You showed me what a future with a loving family would look like, a family that has accepted me even though they know who my family is. You've made me want a family of my own for the first time."
My heart was beating fast in my heart in anticipation. It felt as if I was holding my breath, my hands gripping Sirius's as though he were my lifeline. Sirius reached in to his pocket and pulled out an ornate mahogany box, about the size of a letter. It looked nearly identical to the box the watch Uncle Alphard had sent me came in.
"I got you something," Sirius handed me the box and it felt strangely light in my hands, as though it had been spelled with a feather-light charm. I looked at him quizzically, not entirely sure what was happening. I thought I had known where this was going, but this box was significantly larger than what I had been expecting. I tried not to let my disappointment shine through, but I couldn't deny that my heart had fallen into my stomach.
"Only Black family magic can open this box," He explained, looking at me significantly.
"But Sirius, I'm not a Black…how will I be able to open it?"
"Well, I'm hoping that you will do me the honor of taking my last name, and will use this box to store everything precious to you…like this," Sirius flipped the latch that held the box closed, and opened the top of the mahogany box. Sitting inside the box was another box, this one black velvet. Sirius snatched the smaller box, and kneeled down on one knee. He popped open the box, but I couldn't even be bothered to look at it because I was too busy staring into Sirius's beautiful eyes as he asked me the most important question anyone has ever asked me.
"Addison Marie Jones. Please do me the honor of becoming Addison Black. I love you so much, kitten. Will you marry me?" Sirius looking up at me on one knee, the Christmas tree framed perfectly behind him and the snow falling slowly should have been captured forever on a greeting card, because it was the most perfect scene I could ever have imagined.
"Yes! Sirius Black, I would marry you in the Slytherin common room, with only Slytherins in attendance, if it meant I got to spend the rest of my life with you," I squealed, the box in my hand forgotten on the coffee table as I kneeled down next to him and threw myself in to his arms. Sirius, not expecting me to suddenly tackle him, stumbled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I kissed all over his face before finally kissing his lips. It was as if suddenly, everything aligned in the world to one point…Sirius. I felt my magic grow to accept his own, creating a bond that I could almost see, connecting my heart to Sirius's. It was a feeling like no other, as if I could suddenly sense Sirius's own magic intertwined with my own – as if just the act of getting engaged had provoked a marriage bond to be sealed.
Sirius slipped the ring on to my finger, and I glanced at it for the first time. It was beautiful – a vintage solitaire diamond mounted on a platinum band with intricate runes. It was so perfectly my style, as though this ring was handmade just for me. I kissed him again, this time popping buttons open on his shirt, making to pull it off. Sirius let me undress him for a minute, his own hand slipping under my skirt and roaming around my waist. Suddenly, as if struck by lightning, he detached himself from my lips and sat up.
"Not that I'm not enjoying this, kitten, but your entire family is waiting for us at the Red Newt, and I don't think they'd appreciate being made to wait while we shagged," Sirius groaned, his hand stilling under my skirt. "But, you are coming home with me tonight and I am tearing you out of that dress, you little minx."
"What do you mean they're waiting for us?" I asked suspiciously, playing with the hair on his chest that I had exposed.
"Oh, I set this whole thing up with them. I owled your parents the moment you left that classroom last week that I wanted to take you all out for dinner on Christmas Eve. Then I had Lily make plans with you today, so I could get you out of the house. I popped over this afternoon and asked your parents for your hand. I owled Lewis as well – although I am upset that I wasn't able to ask him in person. I asked James as well, figured I might as well cover all of my bases."
"Lily was involved? That fox, she had me convinced that I didn't need to marry you to be secure in our relationship – and this whole time she knew you were going to propose!" I said narrowing my eyes. "Wait…you asked my brother and James too?"
"Well, I know how important family is to you. I wanted to make sure everyone approved before I even asked you…it's important to me that my future family feel like their opinion matters to me just as much as it matters to you," Sirius was so sincere in this principle that I felt my heart swell and I leaned down to kiss him soundly.
"Sirius, I know that you haven't had an easy life. I know that love, affection, and kindness haven't come easy for you. But I need you to know that you have never once made me feel like those things were anything but second nature to you. You exude love in everything you do – with me, with the Marauders, even with my family. You've always had a family in the Marauders and me, but my family is your family now. You will never feel alone again, if I can help it," I said, holding his face between my palms and looking deep in to his eyes that I love so much. "I love you, more than anything, and I am so excited to be your wife. I'm going to show you every day how wrong you family is about you, and I am going to love you more than you ever thought possible."
"You already do, kitten," He said with a sad smile. He untangled himself from me and stood up, offering me a hand to help him. He buttoned up his shirt while I adjusted my skirt.
"Are you ready to do this?" He asked me, holding his hand out to me.
"Always," I replied, taking his hand and allowing him to apparate us in to Diagon Alley.
Dinner was a joyous occasion that night. Mom cried when she saw us enter the restaurant – which she had closed for the occasion – hand in hand. Dad stood up and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head.
"I am so proud of you, Addison. And I am so delighted that you found someone like Sirius, who not only takes care of you but also encourages you to find the strength within yourself to not need him. He is a wonderful man, and I couldn't be more proud to call him my son-in-law," I started crying at my dad's words, having never heard him say something so sensitive before. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight.
"You'll always be my first love, daddy," I said thickly, my words muffled in to his chest. I heard his laugh rumble in his chest, and pulled away in time to see Sirius accept a handshake from Lewis.
"I knew from the first time I met you that we'd end up here. Thanks for the owl, I would have beaten the shit out of you if you hadn't," Lewis chuckled, clapping Sirius on the back while still grasping his hand.
Aunt Thea and Uncle Leo were also there, and they both pulled the two of us into hugs. Aunt Thea was crying, and fawned over the ring.
"Oh, Sirius, it is so beautiful. So unique and timeless," she said, holding my hand and examining the large stone. Ralph wandered over, empty drink in hand.
"Well, Addie. I have to say; it doesn't surprise me at all that you are the first of us to settle down. You always had a good head on your shoulders," Ralph said, shocking me by speaking to me at all, but also having something nice to say.
"Thanks, Ralph. I appreciate that," I replied, smiling at him. He nodded tersely and went back to refill his wine glass from the makeshift bar we had set up. His sister Lydia was there, but I decided we would try to avoid her if at all possible. I saw my cousin Arthur, and his wife Molly over in another corner, their three children nowhere in sight for once. Molly was five months pregnant, and looked thrilled to be childless for the night – I know that they so rarely get a night to themselves now, and they have another one on the way. I motioned to Sirius to follow me and made my way over to them. I hadn't seen them in months, but I owled with Arthur occasionally.
"Arthur, Molly – I'd like to introduce you to my fiancé, Sirius Black," I said proudly, watching as Sirius shook Arthur's hand and kissed Molly's.
"Pleasure to meet you, Sirius. Congratulations to the both of you. Marriage is a wonderful, but exhausting adventure," Molly smiled at us kindly, bringing a hand up to cradle her stomach.
"And a congratulations is in order for you, as well!" Sirius said, motioning to her swollen belly. "Boy or girl?"
"Twins!" Arthur said excitedly. "Twin boys, actually. We've already got three at home. Bill is seven, Charlie is five and Percy is just about one and a half."
"Handful you've got yourself there," Sirius said, his eyes widening. "Who has the brood tonight?"
"My parents, Cedrella and Septimus. I actually think we're cousins too, through my mother. She was a Black before marrying my father," Arthur said, screwing his eyes up in concentration. "I think that makes us…"
"Nope. No. Not playing that game. I really don't need to know just how closely related me and Sirius are," I interrupted, putting a hand on Arthur's arm to stop him from saying anything more.
Molly laughed and put her hand on my shoulder. "You'll get over that after a couple years of marriage. Then you'll laugh about it, and move on."
We spent the rest of the night mingling and drinking, celebrating our engagement. We managed to avoid Lydia until just as we were saying our goodbyes. She ambled over to us, stumbling. She had spent the entire night by the bar, and it was evident that she had over-indulged.
"You know, Addie… good for you. I didn't get why he had chosen you, but seeing the way he looked at you tonight, I understand now. Congratulations," She said sincerely, albeit sloppily.
I grinned at her and pulled her in to my arms. "I love you, Di," I used her old childhood nickname, which made her eyes water up.
"I was such a cow to you last year. I'm sorry – I've always been insecure when it comes to boys. I can't seem to get one to stick around for longer than a month. They all just want to shag and then leave," She admitted, looking at me with her beautiful blue eyes.
"It's fine. Don't even think about it again. When you start looking for the right guys, the right guy will appear. Don't settle for less than you deserve. You are beautiful, Di. But you are also smart, and fucking terrifying. You are a badass. Act like it," I winked at her and turned to Sirius. I tucked my hand into his arm, said one last final goodbye and left with my fiancé.
"Take me home," I said sleepily, laying my head on his shoulder. He led me back to his…our loft, and let me open the door with the key I still wore around my neck. As soon as he had locked the door behind us, he had me pinned against it as he kissed his way down my throat towards my chest.
"You looked so fucking sexy all night, I just wanted to tear this thing off you," He growled, his hands running all over the satiny material of my dress.
"Do it, baby," I breathed, my chest rising to meet his and falling with each exhale. He wasted no time in doing as I asked, pulling the dress down my hips, ripping it slightly as it stretched to accommodate my hips. It pooled around my feet and I stepped out of it impatiently – I was left standing in my black lace bra and panty lingerie set. Sirius's eyes raked my body, taking in every inch of my exposed milky skin.
"It was torture pushing you off me before, when all I wanted to do was claim you as my own – my wife, my lover, mine. All night I could smell you," He was looking at me like a hunter stalks its prey. The predatory look in his eye made the heat ignite in my stomach, and the reminder that he could smell my desire made me want him even more.
"Well then I think its time for you to taste me," I said, smirking at him when my words sparked an intense reaction in him – I could tell by his erection pressed against my leg.
"Is that what you want, kitten?" He asked me, kneeling in front of me, his lips playing with the edges of my panties.
"Yes," I mewled as he moved his lips over the top of my panties, teasing me. "I like you on your knees tonight."
"I can smell you. Tell me again what you want me to do?" He teased me, pressing a kiss to my center over my panties.
"Please, Sirius. Please will you taste me?" I asked, nearly begging. If I didn't get some release for the pressure that was building soon, I was going to lose it. I pushed my hips forward, trying to create some friction. The pleasure I felt with just the friction of Sirius's chin made me moan, and that noise made Sirius growl. He ripped my panties off with his teeth, and threw them over his shoulder. I could feel the pressure building, with every movement sending me closer and closer to the edge. With one last flick of his tongue, he pushed me over the edge. I pulled on his hair, pulling him up off the ground. He kissed me and I could taste myself on him.
He threw me over his shoulder suddenly, and I squealed. He carried me into our bedroom, and threw me roughly onto the bed. I looked up at him as he crawled on top of me, still not quite believing that this gorgeous man was mine.
"Hi there, fiancé," I giggled at him. He looked down on me at the word fiancé.
"Say it again," He asked, a vulnerable expression taking over his face.
"I love you, Sirius Black, my wonderful, sexy, romantic fiancé."
We spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms, reminding each other over and over again how much we loved each other.
