A/N: Hello all! This chapter was really difficult for me to write because it includes some action and some grief. The war is finally starting to pick up, and we'll start to see the consequences of that. This was a really emotional chapter for me to write, and I hope that is portrayed at the end. I pulled a lot from my own life, but we'll see more of that in the next chapter when we see the aftermath of everything. Enjoy!
December 31st, 1977
"Does everyone have their shots?" Sirius bellowed from his spot on top of our coffee table. He was standing in a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and the brown jacket that I had given him for Christmas. He was wearing a New Year's Eve hat that he had purchased in a muggle liquor store this morning; he had ventured in to muggle London to buy some muggle beer, which was his newfound obsession. I'd stayed behind in the flat, which I'd been living in ever since the night we got engaged, to clean up for our friends. The flat that I'd walked in to on Christmas Eve was definitely a bachelor's flat – there were dirty takeout containers everywhere, bottles of beer littering the ground, and laundry piled on every surface. During the week that I'd been moved in, I'd managed to clean things up and put my touches everywhere. I loved our little apartment more than I could put in to words – especially now, with all of our friends crowded around the radio, counting down to the New Year.
"Yes!" James shouted, his arm thrown around Lily. The two of them were swaying together, each holding a bottle of beer in their hands. Lily had been overjoyed to find her father's favorite brand of beer in the cooler, and she had indulged in his honor. Her parents were spending the night with Petunia and Vernon at their new place in Little Whinging – which Petunia would, of course, move in to after their wedding at the beginning of summer. Given that Petunia wouldn't want a mess in her shiny new home, it was sure to be a dry night.
Remus and Peter were standing together towards the side with Mary, Marlene, Robert Boot and Michael Brown. Marlene and Robert were holding hands, while Michael appeared to be chatting up Mary, who was blushing furiously. Sirius jumped down from the table and came over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, when he heard the countdown beginning.
"10! 9! 8!" Everyone started counting down with the radio announcer, none more exuberantly than Sirius. Seeing the pure joy on his face made my heart soar, and I joined in the countdown fervently.
"3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!" We all shouted in glee, chattering excitedly and laughing at the confetti that I had spelled to drop at midnight. I glanced down at my ring, which we had disillusioned, just in time to see the spell wear off and it reappear on my finger. I glanced around the room quickly. James had pulled Lily in to his arms and was kissing her passionately; Marlene had pulled Robert to her and they were kissing sweetly, swaying to the beat of the song that was now playing through the radio. I saw Michael kiss Mary's cheek innocently, and cheered silently when I saw her take the initiative and kiss him full on the mouth. Everyone deserved a midnight kiss on New Year's Eve. Before I could ponder further, Sirius had pulled me towards him and my attention had snapped back to his sparkling grey eyes.
"Happy new year, fiancé," Sirius whispered, dropping his lips down to meet mine slowly. It was one of those kisses, the ones with the kind of anticipation that makes the entire room stop around you. The loudness of the room dimmed to a quiet murmur, and I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat loud and clear. Sirius's lips were like a magnet, drawing me straight to them. When his lips touched mine, it was like a jolt of electricity – suddenly the room roared back to life, and I was all too aware of Lily shrieking in delight.
"I knew it! I knew he'd already proposed!" She shouted, rushing over towards me and grabbing my hand from where it had been resting on Sirius's cheek. Sirius chuckled, and took the shot that he was still holding. I followed his example and took mine too, while Lily examined the ring in awe.
"Addie and I are engaged!" Sirius shouted over the noise of the radio, catching the attention of the group on the other side of the room, who had still been cheering the New Year in. He raised our hands, which were now joined, in the air. At once, the noise roared even louder as everyone shouted their congratulations and excitement. Someone broke out a bottle of champagne and glasses were passed around to everyone. We spent the next hour drinking, showing off my ring, and dancing together.
It was the perfect end to a perfect week. The past week had been the happiest of my life, and Sirius's too. I had been worried about what my parents would say when I told them I wasn't coming home, but Christmas morning when Sirius and I had shown up, my stuff was packed and waiting for me. It was a true testament to how much they loved Sirius, and he had held it over my head throughout the rest of dinner. Sirius had been smiling the entire week, breaking in to song randomly, and pulling me in to his arms to dance around the kitchen. Seeing him so carefree made me sure that I had made the right choice in choosing this man to be my husband. If I could put that gorgeous smile on his face every day for the rest of my life, it would be a life well spent.
"Guys, look!" Marlene was standing at the window, looking down at the street below. "Someone must have set off fireworks, there are lights everywhere." We all rushed over to the two windows that faced towards the street, pushing the curtains back so we could see.
Mary was the first to realize what was going on. She shrieked, and buried her head in to Michael's chest. He wrapped an arm around her consolingly, as her little body shook with sobs. The lights that Marlene had seen were not fireworks, but curses. Red, green, and white flashes lit up the window like a macabre light show, but what lay below was the furthest thing from a show that I could imagine. Figures in dark hoods were advancing down the street, their faces obscured by skull-like masks, blasting anything that got in their path. My adrenaline started to kick in, and before even Sirius had moved, I was in the kitchen grabbing our wands from the drawer where we had stored them so nobody would drunkenly set anything on fire.
"If you're coming with us, grab your wand. If you're not, stay here, lock the doors, and don't let anyone in if they don't know the code word 'Snuffles'. Everyone clear?" I commanded, throwing Sirius his wand, pocketing my own, and holding out the rest of them to the group. James snatched his up and moved towards the door; Remus and Marlene following close behind. Michael and Robert took their own wands, but both looked at each other, communicating silently to determine what they were going to do. Mary was frozen, staring at her wand in my hand; Lily grabbed both of theirs and passed Mary hers.
"Mary, it's okay to stay here," Lily said kindly, grabbing Mary's hand and pulling her towards the couch. She looked around behind her to see who was left in the room. Sirius, James Remus and Marlene were already storming down the stairs, Michael and Robert were arguing quietly, and Peter was standing frozen in the center of my living room still. I heard a shout from downstairs, and my stomach dropped, fearing the worst. Immediately I was on the move, running towards the front door, throwing Peter his wand, which was still in my hand.
"My girlfriend is down there!" I heard Robert yell. Michael protested faintly, but Robert was already behind me, rushing down the stairs. I pushed open the front door, holding it for Robert, and Lily who followed seconds after.
"Where's Peter?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Lily opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted before she had a chance.
"He stayed with Mary. She fainted, and he jumped on the chance to watch out for her," Michael panted. He had sprinted down the stairs to catch up with us. He turned to address Robert, "Sorry for hesitating." Robert nodded in understanding, before snapping his attention to the scene in front of us, searching for Marlene.
There were bodies splayed everywhere. Smoke was rising from the various buildings that had been hit by bombardas, rocks were falling from the taller buildings, and people were running all over the place in a panic. A flash of green light caught my attention, and I turned to see where it had come from. There, in the center of the plaza near Gringotts, were the Marauders dueling with a pair of Death Eaters. We set off towards them, dodging spells that were coming from all directions. Everywhere I looked, I saw the residents of Diagon Alley dueling Death Eaters to varying degrees of success. I had to worry about the people I loved, I couldn't get sidetracked, so I turned my attention back to my friends.
Sirius and James were facing off against someone who I recognized, while Remus and Marlene were fighting someone that I didn't. A third Death Eater came running from around the corner; Lily and Michael rushed to meet him and immediately started exchanging fire. Robert threw a shield charm up to defend Remus and Marlene, so I turned my attention to Sirius and James.
Antonin Dolohov was one of Voldemort's top Death Eaters. He had been a seventh year when we started at Hogwarts, and he was well known for terrorizing muggle-born students with terrifying spells. He was throwing spells at James and Sirius faster than my brain could even comprehend. I saw James get hit with a slicing spell, but he only grasped his arm for a moment before throwing his own stunning spell back. Sirius was pulling out all of the tricks that he had learned last term, sweating from the intensity of the battle. I saw an opening in his defenses, but hit Dolohov with a slicing spell of my own before he had noticed I had joined the fight. He chest ripped open with such a force that it caused him to stumble backwards momentarily.
"Nice one, kitten," Sirius smiled briefly before turning back and throwing a shield up to block from Dolohov's next attack. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lily and Michael take down the Death Eater that they were fighting. They immediately spun and jumped in to action fighting Dolohov and his friend. Dolohov's friend took a nasty spell to the chest, courtesy of Marlene, and he stumbled backwards forcefully before slumping to the ground.
"Fall back, Travers. There's too many," Dolohov called, casting a look over to his fallen friend. Seeing that he was in bad shape, he cursed, but disapparated anyway leaving him bleeding on the ground.
"Fuck you, bitch," Travers spat out. With his words came blood, and I could see blood starting to come out of his ears. "I'll remember this," He warned, staring at Marlene. She made a move to stun him, but before the words had left her mouth he had grabbed his wand and managed to disapparate. It seemed like the rest of the Death Eaters had the same idea, as the pops of disapparation began to echo throughout Diagon Alley.
Sirius rushed to bind the Death Eater that Lily and Michael had subdued, casting ropes out of his wand. "It's Macnair. He used to come around with Lucius Malfoy all the time," He said as he rolled him onto his back with his foot. "How is everyone?"
I looked around at our friends, all of whom were panting from the exertion of the battle. Lily had a gash in her cheek, but otherwise looked unharmed; she was already tending to the deep gash in James's arm, which was still bleeding profusely. Marlene looked a little shell-shocked at having been called out by Travers just before he left, but was being comforted by Robert. Remus and Michael gave him a thumbs up, too out of breath to speak.
"You okay, love?" Sirius had snuck up behind me, and put his hand on the small of my back. I jumped slightly at the sudden contact, but turned to nod at him. I motioned towards Macnair with my head.
"What do we do with him?" I asked, allowing Sirius to wrap his arms around me fully.
"Leave him for the Aurors. They should be showing up soon, and my bindings will hold until they do," Sirius sighed, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. As we were all gathering together to determine our next move, I heard a commotion coming from down the street.
"We need help! Someone help us! The restaurant was hit badly, please someone help," someone was shouting from down the road where I knew the Red Newt was. As if on autopilot, my body took off before my mind had processed what was happening.
"Mom!" I shouted, taking off at a run towards the restaurant. My mother always worked New Year's Eve at the restaurant; they always threw a big-ticketed event for high society patrons, and she didn't trust her sous-chef to handle it on his own.
"Addie, wait!" Sirius had followed after me, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stop. "Let me go first, I don't think you should see this."
"Sirius, my mom is in there. Either let go, or I'll make you let go," I threatened, my wand already out and pointed at his chest. I pulled away from him and took off back down the street. When I got to the end of the street, I saw what remained of the restaurant. The roof of the building had caved in upon itself, and the glass from the front windows had been completely blown out. People were screaming from inside while others tried to rescue whoever they could from the rubble.
I froze solid staring at the destruction in front of me. The people that were being pulled out from the restaurant were all badly injured; a group of mediwitches had apparated in and were treating whoever they could, while others were being transported to St. Mungo's. I knew my dad was on duty tonight, and I wondered briefly if I could get a message to him before he found out when the victims arrived. As I was thinking through what I could do to help while frozen in my spot, I felt Lily, James, and Remus join us.
"Marlene, Robert and Michael went to get Peter and Mary so they could help. What can we do?" Lily asked, before taking in my appearance and deciding that I could not be in control at the moment. "Boys, go help move rubble."
"My…my dad. He's at the hospital. I don't…I don't want him to find out like this," I stuttered, looking at Lily for the first time. Lily nodded at me and pulled me over to a bench that was still standing.
"Sit for a minute, you're in shock. I'll pop over to the hospital and find your dad," Lily promised. "Are you going to be okay?"
I nodded numbly at her, and she judged for a second before deciding she could leave me. She apparated away, and the pop broke me out of my shock. I couldn't sit here while my mom was trapped inside a falling down building steps away from me. I got up and made my way over to where Sirius, James and Remus were moving rubble and started furiously hurling rocks over my shoulder.
"My mom can't die. She can't," I started throwing rocks faster and faster over my shoulder. I was moving so quickly that I started breathing heavily, startling myself with how out of shape I was. It wasn't until my breath caught in my throat that I realized I wasn't out of breath because of the rocks, but because I was hysterically crying. Tears were rolling down my cheeks thickly, and I had fallen to my knees without even realizing it.
"She's supposed to be there to see me get married. She's supposed to meet her grandkids. She's supposed to help me find Lewis a girlfriend. She's supposed to grow old and have a full life, not die trapped inside a pile of stone," I was vaguely aware that James and Sirius had pulled me away from the building, out of harm's way from the falling rocks. I struggled against them, trying to get back to the building. "Let me go! My mom is in there! I…need…to…get to her!"
"Addison. You're not helping anyone by have a breakdown. Either help us, or get out of the way," Sirius said, gently, although his words were harsh. He was gripping my arms tightly, holding me upright. James dashed back to the wreckage, leaving us to talk.
"Sirius, please. Get her out of there," I pleaded, grabbing his robes in my hand, using his steadiness to hold myself upright.
"I promise, kitten. I will get her," Sirius kissed my cheek and turned to rush back towards the rubble. He helped Remus with a particularly large piece of stone, throwing it on to their ever-growing pile of rubbish. I spent the next twenty minutes pacing, hating myself for not being able to help. Every time I considered moving closer to the building, panic set in and I couldn't move. I finally saw Lily pushing her way through the crowd; her red hair standing out against all of the dark ash that now stained the snow.
"I found your dad," She panted, out of breath from running through the crowd. "He said that your mom floo'd him right when the attacks started happening. She was fine but she was running off to help evacuate guests. He doesn't know what happened to her after that."
"Maybe she got out then?" I asked, hope flaring for the first time since I had seen the state of the building.
"It's possible, honey. We just have to wait and see now," Lily joined me on the bench that I was sitting on, and pulled me close to her. We sat like that for over an hour, the entire time catching our breaths each time someone new was pulled out from the rubble. At some point, Mary, Peter, Michael, Robert, and Marlene had joined us and joined in the rescue efforts. When it became clear that the mediwitches were overwhelmed, Lily went to help them, leaving me alone on my bench.
Another hour passed before anyone came to check on me. Sirius sat down next to me, wiping sweat from his brow. He was covered in soot and small cuts from the falling stone. I spoke first, "Dad said that Mom floo'd him when the attacks started. She was okay and helping with the evacuation. She'd never have left before the guests were all safe. She's dead. I know it."
Sirius didn't say anything, but let me fall on to his chest and cry. He knew that there were no words to make this better; he knew that my mom would have been leading the charge to fight back and keeping her patrons calm. That she would have made sure everyone else was safe before worrying about herself. He also knew that more than likely, she was gone; even if she had managed to survive the attack, she had been trapped underneath the wreckage for too long, freezing and suffocating to death.
The sun was rising before they found her. People from all over had apparated to join the rescue party after the attack was reported in the Daily Prophet, and they had started to make progress in pulling people out. From what I could see, only about one in every four victim was still alive. I was sitting on my same bench, Sirius by my side, when James walked over to us.
"Addie? We…we found her," James whispered. From the tone of his voice, I knew immediately that she was gone. I stood up numbly, making to follow James.
"Kitten, are you sure you want to see her?" Sirius had stood as well. He was looking at me, his face pale, with the most pained expression I had ever seen on his handsome face.
"I have to. I have to…say goodbye," I said, turning away from him. He grabbed my hand, his large hand dwarfing my small one.
"We'll do it together," He assured. I nodded at him once, and motioned to James to lead the way. He brought us to the very center of the rubble, where the rest of our friends were huddled around a body that had just been unearthed.
She was beautiful in death. I could tell immediately that she had been hit by a killing curse because her blue eyes were wide open and she had no visible injuries. Her auburn hair was still perfectly styled in a chignon, and her chef's whites were pristine still, as if none of the ash from the destruction had been able to touch her.
"This section of the restaurant was empty. She must have been able to get everyone out before the Death Eaters had come in. She was hit with a killing curse…she didn't feel any pain," Remus said, looking at me with pity in his eyes. I hated myself for allowing the pity to comfort me, rather than enrage me.
"That was my mom. Always taking care of everyone else before taking care of herself," I laughed through my tears. I knelt down and took her ice-cold hand in my own. I reached out with my other hand and gently closed her eyelids. It was as if she could be sleeping, she looked so peaceful. "She would have wanted to die protecting others."
I leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. "Goodbye, Mom," I whispered. As I leaned back, I saw that her other hand was gripped in a fist, although she wasn't holding her wand. I pried her hand open, and a piece of parchment fell out of it. I picked it up, reading it greedily. It was obvious that she had written it in a rush, since her usually perfect penmanship was sloppy. It read
'A + L, Love Always.
S – take care of my baby.'
I traced the word love with my finger, tears falling freely now. Sirius, who had been reading the note over my shoulder, started crying as well. He sat down behind me, and pulled me into his lap, kissing the top of my head over and over again, while I sobbed until the tears ran out. It was as though I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time - all of the pain that I knew I should be feeling was there, hiding underneath the surface, but I knew it wouldn't hit me until the shock had worn off. It felt as though I was a ghost, watching myself go through the moment from above. I let myself give in to the sturdy feeling of Sirius behind me, holding me and grounding me in the moment.
"I'm so sorry, kitten. I'm so sorry," He kept whispering over and over again, crying with me. After a while, I realized that he wasn't apologizing because my mother was dead – he was apologizing because for the first time ever, he had broken a promise to me.
