February 16th, 1978

Sirius and I mourned the only way we knew how – by drinking our way through several bottles of firewhiskey and crying in each other's arms. One particularly drunk night, Sirius pulled me in to muggle London and convinced me to have my mother's words tattooed onto the inside of my wrist. 'Love Always' now greeted me each time I glanced down, a painful but cathartic reminder that in her last moments, Mom had chosen to leave a message for me, Lewis…and Sirius.

Sirius was taking her loss badly as well. Seeing that she had left a message for him as well had pushed him in to overdrive – he had taken her words to heart and was doing anything and everything he could to take care of me. He was trying his best to be optimistic and cheerful for me, to be strong while I was weak. But in the moments when he thought I wasn't looking, I saw the smile fall off his face and the pain take over. I knew that Sirius was taking my mom's loss as his own personal failure; he had promised me he would save her, and he couldn't. I didn't blame him in the least – I knew there was nothing he could have done.

According to the Daily Prophet the next day, of the 500 guests attending the event, 200 had died in the attack on the restaurant. Another 100 were taken to St. Mungo's with varying degrees of injury. Survivors came forward and credited my mother with evacuating over 150 guests from the back ballroom. She had sacrificed herself in order to save them, just like I had said she did.

Lily came to get us three days later for the funeral, which she had helped my dad and Lewis plan. Given the stack of letters that were piled up on our coffee table, they had tried to get in touch with me for my input, but I had ignored them in favor of the alcohol, which numbed all my pain. We had closed our floo as well, as I had not been ready to see anyone. Lily had to apparate down the street and it took her pounding on the door relentlessly for over an hour for me to allow Sirius to let her in.

We were on the train back to Hogwarts by the time I remember anything else. The entire funeral was a blur of receiving guests, hearing how great my mother was, and trying to hold in my tears so my family didn't have to see them. The one bright spot in the entire ordeal was the Weasley boys. Molly and Arthur had brought their three boys, and I spent an entire hour playing with them and allowing myself to forget the circumstances for their visit. Their innocence and cheerfulness was the one thing that gave me the strength to keep moving. If you had asked me to recount any other part of the services, I would have told you I wasn't even there.

Everyone gave me a wide berth for the first month we were back. The times I wasn't in class, I was sleeping. I stopped eating, I stopped studying, and I started skipping Quidditch practice. I'd started avoiding Lily, Sirius, and James – who were the most persistent in trying to pull me back from the precipice of depression that I was teetering over the edge of. I overheard Remus snapping at Peter one day in the library – they had no idea that I was sitting just a few bookcases behind them, attempting to study for the first time in weeks – that it was his fault no one could keep an eye on me, since he had lost the Marauder map to Filch last week while attempting to sneak in to the Slytherin common room.

Why Peter had been trying to get in there, I had no idea – but knowing that they didn't have a surefire way to find me anymore was comforting. I didn't want to be found. I wanted to be left alone, to stew in my thoughts and get through this on my own. Losing my mother had been a wake up call for me; the only person you can rely on for strength was yourself. You never knew when someone you relied on could be taken away, so it was better to rely on no one. Sirius had become too much of my rock, the person who gave me strength. If I was going to make it out of this war, I needed to be able to get through it alone.

It was mid-February by the time I started to feel like myself again. The never-ending roar of pain had dimmed to a dull murmur – ever-present but not as all encompassing as it had been before. I decided it was time to get back to my life and time to stop pushing the people who loved me away. I started by deciding it was time to fly again.

I was late, having only decided to go to practice ten minutes before it started; I'd quickly grabbed all of my gear, and rushed down to the changing room. I pushed open the door, panting, and entered hesitantly. The first people to turn around were Andrew Peakes, Mary and Michael. Their eyebrows rose upon seeing me in the doorway, but they parted so that the row in front of them could see what the disturbance was. James was standing in the front, gesturing to the diagrams next to him. He looked shocked to see me standing there, and his entire body froze for a second. Tori Bell, the new chaser who had made the team this year just as I had said, smiled brightly at me. Sirius walked over to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me next to him. He smiled at me and said, "Welcome back."

James went on as if nothing had happened, continuing to explain the drills that we were going to cover in practice. He dismissed us a few minutes later to get ready to get in the air. I held back, so I could talk to him once the changing room emptied.

"James?" I said hesitantly, once Peakes had closed the door behind him. Just James, Sirius and I remained, and I figured that what I needed to say to James I could say in front of Sirius – for better, for worse, after all. James turned to me, broomstick over his shoulder, and raised his eyebrow in question. "I understand if you don't want me to be here. I've been a right bint lately."

"What are you talking about?" James asked, his eyes wide. Sirius came closer, shooting James a warning look.

"I've missed like…10 practices. I understand if you want to replace me with someone else. I haven't been a real team player," I smiled thinly at him, knowing it was the right thing to do. I'd taken care of myself these last several weeks, but I had neglected anyone else who needed me.

"Addie, the team understands. You lost your mom. Nobody is upset with you," James promised me, looking at me like I was crazy for even bringing it up.

"Do you two understand why I've been so…weird?" I asked hopefully, looking specifically at Sirius. Sirius cocked his head to the side, and chuckled.

"Not at all, kitten. But you did what you needed to do, and I'm just happy that you're doing better," Sirius was chuckling still, looking at me like he hadn't seen me in months. Which, to be honest, was pretty close to true. I'd spent probably a combined 30 minutes with him outside of classes since we'd gotten back to school.

"What I needed was to be alone," I admitted, looking at the two of them. "I love you both so much for trying to help me through this. But I had to prove to myself that I could get through the pain on my own. Without relying on anyone else to help me through it."

"And what about now?" James asked, looking at me expectantly. "You got through it on your own. Can we be there for you now?" I nodded, tears falling down my cheeks slowly. Upon seeing me nod, Sirius and James both encircled me in their arms, pulling me in for a right hug. After a few moments, James spoke again. "Alright, now let's get out there. If we have any chance of beating Slytherin next month, we need to get you on a broom. We have a lot of practice time to make up with you."

James's joke had his intended effect, and I chuckled through my tears. It was the first time I'd laughed in what felt like years. I wiped the last of them away, and smiled at them both. "You're both… mine," I said shakily. "I love you, and I'm sorry."

"Don't let Lily hear you saying that," James laughed. "The witch has been known to hex for less."

"What about me?" Sirius jumped in, staring daggers at James in jest. "Do I need to fight you? My fiancé just lumped us together."

"And what a horrible way for you to find out about us," I threw my leg up James's hip, clinging to him in a mock seductive way, staring at Sirius over my shoulder. "We can finally come clean, James. Sirius, we've been shagging for years and are going to run away from you and Lily, get married, and have tons of babies."

I couldn't hold it together and cracked up moments later. James had put his hands up in the universal 'it wasn't me' gesture, making sure not to touch me at all. Sirius just laughed and pulled on the back of my kit until I stumbled backwards into his arms. He pressed a kiss to my lips and smacked my butt. "You, witch, are testing the lines of my patience," He said heatedly.

"Alright, I have a team to coach. Be outside in two minutes or extra laps. No exceptions," James, noting the rising sexual tension in the room, smartly decided to make his escape before things got more heated between Sirius and I. Sirius waited before he had shut the door firmly behind him to speak again.

"Don't disappear on me again, kitten, please," Sirius pleaded, the heat dropping from his words immediately. "The last six weeks without being able to help you were miserable for me, and for you I'm sure. We're going to pledge to love each other for better, for worse, in sickness and in health! I want those vows to mean something, so you need to let me be there for you," He admonished me slightly, holding my face gently in his hands. I nodded, swallowing thickly. I knew he was right, and that I had been too stubborn to realize that having him as a support system wasn't a weakness, but a strength. I needed to come to that conclusion on my own; Sirius knew me well enough to know that if he had tried to push me to realize it earlier, I just would have ended up pulling away completely.

"I love you, Sirius. I'll be better at letting you in," I promised, leaning up to kiss him. "But right now, we need to go practice."


April 22nd, 1978

The weekend before everyone went home was our game against Slytherin. I'd been practicing non-stop in the weeks before the match, making up for the time I had missed when I was having my mental breakdown. It must have paid off, because I scored fifteen goals in the match. There were recruiters in the stands again, and I was happy that my game hadn't been affected by taking some time off practices.

We all decided to stay at Hogwarts for Easter break, under the guise that we needed to study. I knew I didn't want to go home and have to face my father, who had been living with Lewis since the funeral. I sent Lewis a letter home, and he wrote back that he understood – my studies were most important right now. Sirius wasn't going to leave me here, especially to go back to an empty loft alone. Lily was avoiding her sister, knowing if she went home her entire break would be dedicated to wedding planning, and so James decided to stay too. Remus legitimately wanted the time to study, not that he needed it, and Peter did whatever the rest of the Marauders did.

When everyone returned to school, full on exam revision continued. Sirius was more likely to be found with his nose in a book than Remus was, and that was truly saying something. I got weekly owls from Lewis, and Dad, giving me tips and tricks for the upcoming NEWT exams. I was really starting to panic, still having no idea what I was going to do when I graduated. Sirius and James had sent in their applications for the Auror program, which Frank and Alice had already been accepted in to. Lily had been in touch with my father about St. Mungo's healer program, and he had taken her on as an apprentice starting this summer – contingent on her NEWT scores. As if that was going to be a problem.

My birthday was a Saturday soon after, and it started off as any other day. I was early to breakfast, enjoying the quiet of the early morning while everyone else slept in. I was drinking a cup of tea and nibbling on some bacon when the Marauders joined me.

"Happy birthday!" James sang, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. Remus and Peter sat across from me, looking much less awake than James.

"Happy Birthday, Addie," Remus smiled kindly at me, before fixing his own tea. Remus and I were kindred spirits in the fact that we always had to start our mornings with a strong cup of tea.

"Yeah! Happy birthday!" Peter squeaked.

Sirius followed James's lead and kissed the top of my head as he sat down. However, he also pushed a jewelry box in front of me, so I'm going to say that his hello was better.

"What's this? Hmm? What is it?" I asked playfully, bouncing in my seat happily. The last piece of jewelry he gave me was pretty fucking great, after all. I looked down at my ring – the goblin made piece of jewelry always seemed to shine and didn't require any cleaning. I couldn't imagine what he could give me that would top the promise of forever and a giant diamond.

"Open it up, kitten, and see for yourself," Sirius rolled his eyes at my enthusiasm, but he smiled as well to show that he was also happy I was excited. I opened the top of the box – sitting inside was a beautiful thin gold chain with a coin sized clear crystal. Inside of the crystal, what looked like memories were swirling around, creating beautifully intricate patterns inside their crystal cage.

"Oh, Sirius, it's so beautiful," I said, in awe of the intricate piece of jewelry. I turned, letting Sirius clasp it around my neck, sitting just above the key that I already wore.

"It's a pureblood custom for a bride to be given a piece of jewelry on her wedding day that imbibes all of the good memories of that day – usually in the form of a brooch or pair of earrings. That piece of jewelry is then worn on special occasions, as a reminder of the happiness of that day," Sirius explained, when I turned back to look at him. "Usually, the jewelry only absorbs memories for one day, 24 hours, after it is activated with an old spell. James and I did some tinkering and modified the spell. You'll be able to add whatever memories you'd like to it, to store them and be reminded every day."

"What's in them right now?" I asked him, examining the stone and watching the memories swirl around.

"I put in the memory of asking your mother if I could marry you. I wanted you to be able to have her with you, always," Sirius explained, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. My eyes teared up as I threw my arms around him, kissing his cheek. Who knew Sirius could be such a romantic?

"This is beautiful," I said, looking at both James and Sirius. "Thank you so much for this, both of you." Now that Sirius mentioned it, I did feel a certain amount of calmness wash over me once I put the necklace on. It was subtle, but the gentle reminder that my mother was with me was more than enough.

The owls came in with the mail as I finished thanking the boys. I filled my pumpkin juice, still fiddling with my new necklace when the first owl landed in front of me. I didn't think much of it – Lewis had been pretty heavy handed on the owls lately – until the second and third owls landed. When two owls landed in front of James, and one in front of Sirius, we all looked at each other in confusion. Sirius ripped open his letter first, and read it quickly. He looked up shocked and said, "The Chudley Cannons are recruiting me."

I looked at him in equal shock, looking towards my own letters. Sirius ripped his letter up, saying, "Never in a million years would I play for that sad sack of a team. Absolute rubbish. Open yours!"

James needed no further prompting, and opened his letters eagerly. He slammed them down, announcing proudly, "The Falmouth Falcons and Puddlemere United think I would be an excellent chaser!"

I smiled at him widely when I heard Puddlemere United – they were the best team in the league, and it would be a dream come true to play for them. I felt a twinge of disappointment knowing that none of my letters would be from Puddlemere; they wouldn't recruit two chasers from the same house team for the same position.

Sirius and James were both looking at me expectantly, but I hesitated to open my letters. It was fine for them – they both knew that they weren't going to play no matter which teams offered them a spot – but this was my future. What lay in those letters would pave the path that my future took, and I wasn't willing to rush in to that.

"Open them, kitten," Sirius urged, picking one up and handing it to me. I picked up all three, and shuffled them in my hand. They were all addressed the same way.

Ms. Addison Marie Jones

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Great Hall

Gryffindor Table

I opened them all at once, glancing at the logos in the upper right corners of each piece of parchment. I looked up to Sirius and James's expectant faces, my eyes wide in shock. My jaw dropped open for a second, and Sirius motioned with is hand, urging me to speak.

"What is it, Addie?" Remus pressed, looking at me with a gentle smile on his face.

"The Holyhead Harpies, Appleby Arrows, and…Puddlemere United," I broke into a giant grin at the end, holding out the Puddlemere letter for Sirius to read. Sirius grabbed the letter and read quickly, letting out a whoop of glee once he had finished.

"Are you serious? Three offers? Puddlemere? I thought for sure when James got the letter, you wouldn't get one; I was so upset for you, I know that's who you really want to play for. Merlin, Addie, you can play for whoever you want! The top three teams in the league? My fiancé is a fucking badass!" Sirius rambled, his excitement getting the better of him. In true Sirius fashion, he stood up on the bench. Knowing what he was about to do, I pulled on his robes, trying to get him to sit back down before he embarrassed me.

Sirius pushed my hands away impatiently and announced to the entire Great Hall, which had filled considerably since the Marauders had come in, "My fucking BADASS fiancé just got drafted by THREE FUCKING PROFESSIONAL QUIDDITCH TEAMS!"

The entire hall broke in to excited chatter, with the entire Gryffindor table breaking in to raucous applause. Lots of my classmates came to pat me on the back, asking about which teams I had heard from. Each time, to deflect from my own embarrassment, I pointed out that both Sirius and James had received letters as well. The two boys both waved me off, citing that I had received three letters, and that they weren't even entertaining their offers anyway.

Professor McGonagall came down from the head table a few minutes later. Her lips were pursed, but her eyes were twinkling slightly with pride.

"Mr. Black, detention with me tonight for your disgusting language," She said first thing, burning a hole in the side of Sirius's head with her signature glare.

"But, Professor!" He protested. "My beautiful fiancé just got an offer from Puddlemere United. Puddlemere United! Can you blame me?"

"Puddlemere United was one of your offers?" Professor McGonagall asked sharply, her eyes snapping to my face. I nodded hesitantly, not entirely sure where she was going. "Good gracious, one of my own students is going to play for Puddlemere United, Professor Flitwick is never going to believe it. Where else did you get offers?"

"Sirius got an offer from the Chudley Cannons," McGonagall wrinkled her nose at this, and Sirius visibly deflated. "James got an offer from Puddlemere United and the Falmouth Falcons. I also got offers from the Holyhead Harpies and Appleby Arrows."

"Three of my students with offers from professional Quidditch teams, two from Puddlemere United," Professor McGonagall almost gushed, in a totally uncharacteristic display of emotion. "Black, Potter – you still plan on attending Auror training after graduation?" She snapped quickly, her usually brisk tone back.

Sirius and James nodded in confusion. "Good," She barked. "You're needed there. Ms. Jones – go with Puddlemere, they have the best team put together now and you are a natural fit for the left wing chaser. Black – no detention." She walked away before any of us could answer, back towards the Head Table. The three of us looked at each other in total confusion, unsure if we had entered an alternate universe where Professor McGonagall was lenient with punishments and flush with compliments.

The rest of the hall had gone back to their usual discussions, but the Gryffindor table was talking about sitting among potential celebrities. It was unheard of for three students in a year – let alone from the same house – to receive offer letters at the same time.

"Sirius," I shook his arm to get his attention.

"What's up, kitten," He asked quietly, smiling down at me.

"Show me how this necklace works?" I asked shyly. "I never want to forget this moment, for as long as I live."