PREFACE

-

I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT a lot of things during my seventeen years of life. Of course, there are thoughts I care not to admit.

Like when I watched Maze Runner for the first time, I imagined Dylan O'Brien's steamy naked body on mine. Or how, when I worked at my local donut shop, I'd steal way more pastries that I probably should've.

But I'd never given much thought to how I would die.

I assumed I'd be ridiculously old and surrounded my snotty nosed grand kids. And a wrinkled face husband who's name I'd have trouble remembering. But the way I see it right now, that was not how my death was gonna pan out. It's pretty naive of me—I've had plenty of reasons these past few months to avoid this, or at least expect it, and if I had, it definitely wouldn't be like this.

I looked at the hunters, his fleshy beat red eyes were stabbing at me like daggers.

Though fear crept through my body, a less rational part of my couldn't help to find some peace in this, surely this was a good way to die. In the place of someone I loved. Someone who loved me entirely. Noble, even. As stupid as it sounds, it ought to mean something.

I knew that if I'd never gotten somehow stuck in Forks, I wouldn't be facing death right now. At times I'd think I was just in a dream. But you can't love the way I've loved in a dream. And you definitely can't feel the merciless emptiness of death like I am in a dream.

But life gave me a gift. So it's not fair to sulk when it comes to an end.

The hungered beast neared stepping carelessly on the through the puddle of my blood readying to slay me. And I sat back awaiting him.

-

"EXCUSE ME?" I gasped, though my tone was so soft I doubt he even heard me. Most of me could barely stand to actually to hear him repeat himself.

"It's more my parents than it is me. We just don't think it'd be best for us to go together. With the board meeting coming soon and with my family in the limelight..." Nate scratched the back of his head looking anywhere but my face. Nevertheless I still trying to meet his eye, daring him to say it to my face.

"What? So what if the meetings coming up, we've been together for as long as I can remember, why is it suddenly an issue now?" I didn't mean for it to come out as a whine but I couldn't find the strength to hold it back.

"Come on Alex, you can't see you didn't see it coming. As nicely as one can put it, we both knew that this was never really gonna work Alex. I'm Nathaniel Braxton, the Nathaniel Braxton—"

"Oh fuck off," Although this clearly wasn't funny, I couldn't fight back my giggles, "this is rich. I've known you since we were in diapers, in fact you were in diaper until we were four. I've literally changed your diapers. Why are you talking to me like I'm some commonwealth, and your fucking Prince Williams slumming it–"

"Because that's basically what this is!" He finally met my eyes and the look in his eyes was something I'd never seen from him. Completely cold, there was nothing warm in his tone anymore, nothing shy. "My prom photos are going to be sent back to my parents family in New York. And you know how they are, they practically own half of Manhattan. I own half of it. As cool as you are— you can't expect me to show them my girlfriend whose just simple and mundane? I can't show them Alexandra... and Ashley Williamsburg was more than kind enough to agreed to stand in as my date to the prom."

For a moment, I forgot how to use my lungs. I forgot how to stand. I must've looked insane, my eyes sunken, the corners of my lips dung into my cheeks, and my body rocking unhinged back and forth.

"I—" my breaths in we're shallow, my tone was shaking, I refused to cry in front of this asshole. "we've been together as long as I can remember Nate. Where the fuck is this even coming from?"

"That's because your mom." Wow, low blow. "Before she died, she tutored me, she did everything for me and my mom just happened to like her. I mean she always brought you around and me being homeschooled by her for the first ten years of my life, of course got lonely. You and I shared a bond, and even since then it's been because of my money."

I sucked in a breath riddled disgust, and

my eyes broke wide with complete shock, "I've never ever asked for a dime of yours Nate, don't you go saying that!"

Nate ran his fingers through his hair aggravated, "I never said that, I swear Alex, can you be anymore of a fucking angry black girl, you're getting pissed over nothing!"

"Over nothing!" I stood up now hitting his chest with no effect, "So I'm the angry black woman because my boyfriend of I-can't-even-count- how- many years is going to prom with the girl whose bullied me since we were kids? And also I just found out you're a narcissistic prick with no regard for how any of this would make me feel. Was I suppose to be happy?"

Nate stood from his chair before shoving it back in, the sound it bad made me jump up from my seat as well. "I didn't have to tell you any of this, I did it out of kindness."

I scoffed, livid, "kindness?"

Nate glared at me, "my family needs me to keep an image, and you know what? I agree with them."

I shrunk back as he towered over my small frame. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm doing what I shouldn't done years ago."

I jumped up realizing what was happening, seething, "don't bother Nate, I never realized how much of a dick you were. I'm breaking up with you. But if it makes your stupid rich heart feel better, feel free to tell your friends it was the other way around."

He gulped whining like a kick puppy, "Alexandra—"

I couldn't help it, it was so out of character but my palm was hot across his cheek before I could even register what I'd done.

"You'll regret this Nate, I swear you will."

Before he could say anything to me I was out of the library ignoring as noisy eyes watched me leave.

Everyone in the cafeteria was looking at me, you'd think they'd try and be discreet, but no, it was like I was buck ass naked in the middle of the room.

Everyone, I assumed, knew about Nate and I. Although Nate was rich and popular, I'd never tried and climb the social latter. People usually left me alone, but not today.

Girls kept shoving me, guys whispered slurs and cusses at me for messing with their 'bro' Nate who wouldn't even bat an eye at them on another day. As if I was the one that wronged him. I wondered what lies he'd told everyone. I couldn't believe I loved him, he was a sack of lying and manipulative shit. So why did I miss him?

I was wondering this as I walked to my locker and one of Ashley's minions rushed into forcing me to crash onto the dingy floor. I quickly tried gathering myself but I felt something cold splatter at the top of my head before dripping down my neck and my forward. I slipped trying to get off the floor a waddling new born deer. It didn't take long for me to realize it was her 7/11 slushee.

"You did not," I growled.

"That was a warning from Ashely," the girl cheese still emptying the now void cup on me, "she says now that you know your place, stay in it."

She was gone before I could respond. Everyone strolled past me as though nothing was happening, although I heard a camera or two go off. Great.

How fuck did I end up in some Glee clichè?

I decided, I couldn't stay inside for the rest of the school day. Too many questions, too many judging looks, and it was now clear that Ashley Williamsburg definitely wasn't big enough to leave me alone. She took idle pleasure in rubbing my new loss and her gain in my face.

She even managed to follow me to the parking lot, I hadn't even noticed her till I was half way across the lot. Her clacking heels were hot on my trail no matter how much I wanted to lose her.

Finally I snapped, "What in God's name do you want Ashley? Besides ruining my day and for you dad to come back from fucking that guy, what was his name, Roman-"

"My dad is not—" she cut her own self off and looked to make sure no one heard that. "Roman is just daddy's friend. You stupid fucking monkey—"

"Ouch, you'd think after all these years you'd work on better insults so that you wouldn't have to scoop to racial slurs, you do realize Nate is black right?" I continued, annoyed by her very presence.

"Take that fucking chip off your shoulder, Monkey, it seems Nathaniel finally realized who he is and has stopped slumming it, and by the way he's mixed."

That hurt.

But I bet when I punched her in the face it hurt more.

I went to hit her again but suddenly my arm was being pulled back by a strong arm. At first I thought it was a teacher but the scent was all too familiar.

Gucci.

I looked up and saw Nate frowning at me, "so I break up with you so you decided to beat up Ashley up?"

I scoffed, "you're little girlfriend was following me, I couldn't care less for her basic ass—"

"You're lying!" Ashley whined crossing her arms.

How dare she?

"I thought you were more mature than that Rosa," Nate shook his head at me like I was the fucking bad guy! No, I didn't want to care but the way Ashely was looking at me made me want to scream.

"She followed me! Why else would she be outside the school during fifth period?"

He probably knew I was right but he completely ignored my sound logic.

"Let's go Ash," Nate brushed past me going to Ashley's side pulling her into him as she fakes a high pitched cry.

With Nate's back facing me Ashely shot me one last victorious expression that told me she knew she'd won.

I flipped her off as I watched them leave and when they were gone I rushed to pull out my keys from my pockets. When I did, the metal was smeared with fresh blood and I realized that I had dug my nails into my palm a bit too hard.

"Ugh." I muttered in disgust as the crimson dripped from the creases of my palm.

I tried to patch it up with the safety kit I kept in my car but my attention was suddenly snatched by the book a found in my glove compartment.

I pulled it out and smiled.

"Oh god!" I looked at the cover, at the white flawless hand clutching onto the red apple motioning towards me.

I hadn't looked at this book since the sixth grade, being a sophomore in highschool meant it'd been a while.

I wondered how it got there, I knew I didn't open that pocket often but I seriously couldn't remember putting it in there. My bubbly handwriting scribbled across the pages of the book as if I'd been reading Shakespeare's greatest work, not Stephenie Meyer's infamous teen vampire romance book.

I was enthralled by the memories the book held, suddenly all the saddened pity I'd been feeling began to float away. I sat increasingly tranquil and started reading. Music filled my car, soon enough minutes were turning into hours. I cuddled into myself since the cold air was creeping into my car. My window had been broken since my dad first bought me this car.

I looked at my car clock and saw that school had dismissed.

"Shoot," I'd been trying to avoid seeing anyone from school. The guards blocked the exit during the day but I was at least trying to be the first one out the lot when the bell rung. That plan was now suddenly out the window since I had to wait for my car, which was just a crap box on wheels at this point, to start.

I clenched the book in my hands in understandable anticipation, I tried not to take notice of the intruding eyes shooting through my car.

I looked at my mirrors and I could spot a group of Ashley's lackies running with mischievous looks on their faces.

Everyone in the parking lot turned their attention towards the girls laughing, and I couldn't understand why until I saw what they all were carrying in their hands.

Slushees.

"Oh fuck!" I rushed to pull my car out of my spot but my crap box was taking it sweet time. "Leave me alone!" I begged trying to get out the lot. But the girls rushed to their cars and I realized they were going to follow me.

"Get her!" I heard someone yell.

I couldn't go fast enough, I was driving a car from probably the 50's and they had their fancy sport cars hot on my trail. The streets of Winnemucca, Nevada were deadly quiet aside from my motor and the girls cackling.

As fast as I ended up going, it wasn't enough to out run them. Soon enough their car was side to side to mine and a mountain of slushees was being thrown in my face. I couldn't close the windows and soon impossible to see out from front window. And it didn't stop.

I couldn't see, I was freezing cold but I heard their car squeak behind me. They'd stopped.

I sighed in relief and sped off in hopes I'd be able to lose them. But then I heard horns, loud ones.

Next thing I knew I was flying, my body conjoined and twisted like a broken ballerina. I was up for only a second before I was smacked down into the pavement. I felt like my head cracked open, and it very well might've been. I was sure almost every bone on my right ride was broken. Glass shards were impaling every inch of my petite frame.

Before the darkness completely engulfed me I saw the car the hit me speeding away, and the girls car was no where to be found.

They'd left me there to die. Over what? Over Nate? Over Ashely? Over my social status?

In the end, none of it seemed to matter. I just pitifully felt myself drifting into an lonely wet welcoming sleep and my blood matted the abandoned street.

Next to my head, I looked over at the book and scoffed at how my blood was staining to pages of a book about vampires. I nearly laughed but the pain was immobilizing. I shut my eyes and in fear, waited for death to come. I was so cold, the snow from the ground seeped into my veins swallowing me. And a light so bright came over me. It filled my chest and washed over my core.

In the end we are alone. Laughably and utterly alone.

Toon soon. It was too soon this time.

-

PREFACE