FIRST SIGHT
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I WOKE UP with my head in the opening of the window of my mothers car. A cool brisk of air washed over my face.
Though the moment was a gentle serene one, I felt a hazy mist dance around my head, las if suddenly, something was wrong. Jerking up, I twisted and looked up at my mother and for a second, it was like I didn't know who she was.
I let out a broken screech and shuffled my way away from here and against the window, I nearly slid through the opening. I grabbed the sides of my head desperately as a searing jolt of pain shot across throughout it. My mom stomped on the break jerking us both forward, before rushing to lock the doors and closed window, she was looking at me like I was crazy.
"Bella?" She touched my arm carefully, the way you wound dog as not to frighten it.
And just like that, as if it had never happened, I snapped out of it.
"I'm sorry mom," I quickly reached out to assure her. "I had a really crappy dream, it just took me a second to readjust. I literally felt like I was... I don't know." My thoughts and my focus trailed off as I looked out the window with scrunched brows. It dream it may have been but it felt so real.
I was on my way to my fathers home. In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Fork exist under a shit ton of clouds and sickly sage green moss covering nearly everything. The salty rain beat a solemn song and significant disproportionate ratios over Fork like no other place in these United States.
My mom and dad adopted me a few months after my birth, but soon after my mom escaped with me from Forks. She said it was too suffocating and my father was too distant. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until the ripened age of fourteen.
It was then I finally put my foot down and motioned for Charlie to start taking me to California instead, vacationing in Fork was simply an oxymoron.
It was to Forks I now exiled myself.
"Bella," my mom cooed. "Look at how feverish you're acting," although she was my mother, this wasn't our relationship, in a lot of ways, it was I who took care of her, I didn't like the idea of stressing her out with worries for me.
"Mom." I sighed ruffling her hair. "I'll my fine, I always am."
"You don't have to go to Forks," she said for the billionth time before I got on the plane.
My mom was really pretty. She looked nothing like me for obvious reasons. She had short hair brunette and deep laugh lines. I felt a wide spread panic flow throughout me as I looked at her childlike eyes. How would she fend for herself? Sure, she'd have Phil, he'd pay the bills. There'd be food in the fridge and gas in the car, but still..
I was her one and only kid and I was ripping myself from her. I was going to miss her.
"I want to go," I lied. I had always been pretty good at lying so she believed me. She just couldn't understand why someone would purposefully move to Forks.
"Tell Charlie I said hi."
"I wont," I teased.
She smirked, "why not?"
I zipped my lips and started walking off.
"I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you feel like it."
But I could hear the sacrifice behind her tone.
"Don't worry 'bout me Mom, it'll be great, you'll see."
She blew a kiss which I caught and pretend to bite.
She faked like it hurt and chuckled as I told her I loved her.
"I love you too, my sweet baby."
I got on the plane, and she was gone.
The flight was rather long, maybe about four hours from Phoenix to
Seattle. Then I spent another hour in a small plane to Port Angeles and then an hour drive in the car with Charlie.
The one hour drive with Charlie was a bit straining.
He'd been rather nice about the whole ordeal. In fact, we was surprisingly really excited about me coming home. He showed in his own way, reserved and macho. He took care of everything, the transition in that respect was rather smooth. He registered me into the local high school and was planning on getting me a car which was great. He was great.
When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. Surprise, surprise. Charlie was Police Chief Swan to the people of Forks. He was waiting for me by his cruiser.
He gave me a weird one armed hug when I ran to him from my way off the plane. He looked just like the same from when I last saw him. His full handlebar mustache still made me jealous, his head of hair showed no signs of balding. Charlie was a handsome man, I wondered why he was still single after all these years. Although, a part of me knew.
"I've missed you Bells," he said smiling brightly at me. "You look as gorgeous as ever...hows Renee?" Wow, subtle dad.
I smirked zipping my lips to which he waved me off. I've been doing this as long as I could remember.
"It's good to see you dad."
He took my luggage, it wasn't much, a lot of my clothes wasn't meant for this cold ass weather Forks had going on.
"Your hair looks different, is it straighter?"
"Dad, I haven't flattened my hair since the last time I saw you."
He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck hoping he hadn't offended me.
"I've got to get you a black daughter hand book pops. Can't have you out here saying these things."
He chuckled turning red. He was as adorable as ever. "Trust me, I already have a couple of those,"
I playfully hit his stomach laughing.
"I found a car for you, barely cost a dime."
I chuckled at the way he said " for you" hopefully he knew me well enough for that big assumption. It wasn't his fault though, it was my mom that babynapped me. That's usually why I never got disappointed when Charlie didn't know something about me, he'd been robbed the chance to get to know me as much as mom did.
"What kind of car?"
"Well it's a truck," he explained slowly.
"Where'd you find it?"
"Remember Billy from La Push?"
"Nope."
"He used to take us finishing,"
I shook my head honestly not remembering. Actually, I couldn't remember anything from that time.
"Well, he's in a wheelchair now," Charlie's responded. "So he can't drive anymore."
"What year is it?" He clearly didn't want me to ask that by he way his face scrunched up and he shuffled in his seat.
"It's a few years old,"
"How old?"
He cleared his throat making me smile. "He bought in 1884— I mean 1984,"
I giggled, "Is that your way of telling me it's really old?"
"Well he did buy it rather old."
"Dad, I'm seriously not good with cars—if it brakes down."
"Bella, it runs great. They don't build it like that anymore. And I got it cheap." He grinned, he fought a laughing probably remembering the conversation he had with Billy. My dad was pretty funny when he wasn't trying to be.
"How cheap is cheap?"
"Does it matter? I've already got it for your homecoming." I could tell he wanted me to drop it.
Wow. Free.
I decided to stop judging before I even saw the thing, "thanks dad."
Eventually we made it to Charlie's. We pulled into the lot and I saw the car.
I loved it.
"Oh my god dad! You've out done yourself." I ran my fingers across the car, but when my hand swept across the side of the car I once again felt the uneasiness I'd felt earlier that day in my moms car.
Charlie matched my prior glee and pulled me into a kind embrace, just like that, once again, I was pulled out of the haze.
"I'm glad you like it."
I gazed up at him with wide cheek and a toothy grin. "I totally in adore it."
It only took one trip to get all my stuff inside. It was a mixture of not having that much stuff mixed with Charlie carrying most of the stuff, he was a surprisingly strong man.
My room felt familiar. Everything was the same to my contentment. The brown and green theme was untouched. I was happy Charlie knew I wouldn't like any other color as much as those two. I saw he even repainted my rocking chair as the prior emerald green coat that was starting to chip again.
He left me to unpack.
One thing I love about Charlie was that he didn't hover.
It was nice being alone. It meant I didn't have to pretend to be happy. I could cry and no one would there to fuss over me.
I started thinking of the next day. School. Specifically, Forks High school. It had a frightening total of a measly 347, now 348 students. That how many kids were in my old junior class in Phoenix.
I tried recalling my life in Phoenix but I couldn't really remember much. In fact, since the car ride with my mom, I could not recall anything prior. My mind rejected the thought.
I didn't look how a girl from Phoenix should. I wasn't tan, sporty, blond, or an avid volleyball player.
I was averaging sized, my hair was a dark kinky 4c texture and was damply sitting on my shoulders from the rain. When someone looked at me, I didn't scream out Phoenix. I definitely didn't play sports. I had little to no hand-eye coordination. Me playing sports was just embarrassing. Adopted as I could be, my mom swore I got it from Charlie.
I looked at myself. I wasn't hideous but I doubt I'd find my niche at school. I didn't relate well with kids my age.
My mom being the self proclaimed spiritual, tarot reading, yoga mom she was thought I'm traumatized by kids in a past life and that's why I'm so shut off and older than my years. Some days, I agreed with her. Kids made me feel nervous and sick. Sometimes, I felt like there was a glitch in my brain. I didn't understand why I couldn't just be normal like the other kids.
And tomorrow would be just the beginning. Yet again.
*
I didn't sleep well, even after I was done crying. What was the point of having a good cry if you didn't have the most bomb ass sleep after?
Charlie was gone when I woke up. I shrugged. Having the house to myself was nice. Peaceful.
I dressed myself quickly not wanting to be late on the first day. After taking a longer shower than I probably should've, I took careful steps out the hot tub and onto the fluffy new carpet. I smiled at it, I was sure Charlie got it since I was coming over.
First I slipped up my underwear and then my black stockings, I stopped and looked at my body for a second, I look ridiculous. Before the jokes turned into insecurity, I pulled my off white turtle neck over my head the pulled the matching beige tennis pleated skirt up. I wasn't in much of a mood to do my hair, I instead slicked the front back and did my edges half assed before placing a black head band on. I wasn't much of a makeup person but I put on a bit of mascara, some lip liner, and a bit of gloss. No point beating my face for a town that would just end up washing it off.
I wasn't much of a breakfast person, Charlie let a danish and an ice coffee on the counter for me. I'd make sure to say thank you later that night. Before leaving, I stole one of his black crew sweaters to complete my outfit and grabbing my new car keys. So far, my morning was going great, it was what was to come that worried me.
Outside, everything was covered in moss. It was surprisingly overwhelming.
I tired not to look at it as I drove. The school was rather easy to find. I just followed some cars going in the same direction. There was a little to no chance that they weren't going to the school.
Inside, it was brightly lit and warmer than I dressed for. The office was small. And suffocating. I swear my hair was going frizz up more than it already was in this heat.
The women whose hair reminded me of Elmo looked up at me with bored eyes, "can I help you?"
"Rosabella Lona Swan," I informed her. I was expected, a topic of gossip I'd assume. The black adopted daughter of the Chief's flakey ex-wife come home at last.
"Of course," she rushed sighed through precariously stacked pile of documents on her bright pink desk. "Here's your school map and schedule."
She explained the schedule to me but it went in one ear and out the other. I sighed, I was definitely going to be face down in this paper today.
I waited in my car for class to start and took notice of the cars. They all looked the same. Mundane. This town was mundane. There was only one car that caught my attention. A shiny Volvo. Probably the mayors kid or something.
Soon enough I heard the bell ring.
"I can do this," I lied to myself. No one was going to bite me. It was just high school.
It took way too long to find my first period class and with everyone staring at me, I swear I was going to start hyperventilating. It didn't help that the room was about the size of Charlie's living room. Everyone here was porcelain white, skinny, and all the cliques were already formed. I sighed.
I was definitely going to stick out like a sore thumb around here.
My first period teacher was a balding man who I was soon learn was named Mr. Mason. For the next few periods the teachers made me stand infront of the class and say my name. I swear each time I died a little inside. I sat in the back of the class throughout and a boy to my immediate right kept staring at me.
I was uncomfortable and not sure what to do with my hands. I rushed out of class but he caught up with me.
"You're Isabella Swan right?"
I shook my head, "Rosabella, but I just go by Bella."
Everyone looked at me when I said that I swear if I lighters I'd be fifty shades of red.
"Where's your next class?"
I had to check my bag for my schedule, "Government,"
"I'm heading around there, I'll drop you off if you'd like," he smiled and usually I'd refuse but he seemed really genuine. I didn't want to refuse, especially since I actually needed the help
I smiled in a tentative manner, "thanks."
"I'm Eric by the way, Eric Yorkie." He shook my hand and I gulp wanting my hand back. The haze was creeping on me. I didn't like kids.
Eric was scrawny, asian, pretty tall, and somewhat dorky looking, but still a good looking guy.
He walked rather close to me, "So this a lot different from Phoenix, huh?"
"Yep. Different zip codes and all that jazz."
"Does it rain much there?" He seriously was being genuine, I guess I just wasn't in the mood for this questionnaire.
I told him no but didn't elaborate further.
"You're mom, is she... tanned?"
"You mean, is she black like me?"
He gulped nervously m but didn't deny that that's what he meant.
"Sorry, I just didn't... you don't look much like Charlie,"
No kidding.
"I'm not his biological daughter. He saved from a pack of lions when I was a newborn. Took me in as one of his own."
His eyes widened, "really?"
So it seemed bad comedy wasn't common around here. I ought to take note of that.
Later that day I sat next to a girl in Trig who wouldn't stop talking. She invited me to sit with her for lunch and as much as I wanted to decline she insisted.
She walked fast for her short height, and talked fast to, I didn't try and keep up.
She introduced me to her friends and I sat there trying to make conversation with six strangers and Eric. That's when I saw them.
They sat in the corner of the cafeteria. They were talking, they weren't eating. There were just there. Looking at them made my head spin. Something wasn't right.
They looked nothing alike. None of them were gawking at me like the other students. My eyes quickly scanned them in peaked curiosity. The first boy looked like he definitely lifted city blocks for fun. His hair was dark and a curly similar to mine but looser. He had one indent in his cheek insinuating that he had dimples , though, I could hardly imagine him smiling. His face looked engraved with his serious expression. The boy next to him was a little shorter than the bulkier one. His hair was so beautifully honey blonde that I could nearly taste it in my mouth. The last boy was the tallest of the three. I could only make out his profile but I could tell he had untidy and unkept hair and a chiseled jaw.
I felt sick.
I turned away from him quickly and now studied the girls. The first was so engrossing she made my head spin even more. She belong in Sports illustrated not Forks High school. Or was that sexist?
I didn't know.
Her hair was blonde just like the other guy and she reminded loosely of someone but I couldn't put my finger on it. But her face made me want to shut my eyes really tight.
But I opened them again to see a petite asian girl sitting next to her with jet black hair cut short into a pixie cut, each strand went in a completely different direction.
They looked nothing like. But yet they were all exact the same. They had identical chalky skin paler than anyone else in the school full of almost albinos. Even the bulky one and the model-like girl, they weren't chalky like the rest of them but looking at those two specifically, was like looking at the moon. Their skin were rich and brown like the deep sea ripples of a lost rippled wave somewhere.
They all had the same dark eyes despite their different hair colors and skin tones and they all had bruised undertones below their eyes. They were so beautiful, it was hard to keep looking, but even harder to look away. They looked like renaissance art, it was almost unnatural. They sat looking away from each other, none of them touched their food. It was like they was there simply as a prop.
I watched the pixie haired girl pick up her food, and I found myself gawking at her poised dancer steps as she threw her food in the nearest garbage can.
My eyes went back to others as they sat unchanged.
I snapped to the girl whose name I couldn't remember. I was so lost in the other table I'd nearly forgotten I was sitting at that one.
"Who are they?" She apparently didn't even have to look up to know who I was looking at. Suddenly he looked at us, the tallest, the thinnest, the handsomest one out of them all, his eyes shot at Jessica and then to me.
"The Cullens. " She smirked at my bewildered expression.
But I couldn't listen to her, suddenly I felt like I couldn't breath, my heart was beating so fast I could feel it in my mouth. The haze was back. I tried to stand up from my seat and everyone looked at me confused. I tripped over myself but I couldn't care any less not as I rushed to the bathroom and let the contents of my stomach spill into the sink.
I looked up at myself — misplaced.
"Who are you?" I touched the glass.
The girl from my table rushed in soon after and I tried to play off what happened as just period problems.
She walked me back into the cafe and everyone's eyes were on me and I awkwardly took my seat. "Lunch food, 'amirite? "
I acted as if nothing had happen, it was completely unbelievable, but it worked, people turned from me and started talking about how much the school food sucked.
The girl took no time going back into explaining who the Cullens were.
I went back to looking at the tallest one and his eyes were on me like I'd never left.
"That's Edward," She nudged me. "He's gorgeous of course, but don't waste your time, he doesn't dare. Apparently none of us girls here are good enough for him,"
She sniffed and I scoffed knowing her was probably salty but decided not comment on it.
I tried to fight the smiled that threatened to show on my face.
He turned from me but I could see his cheeks had risen and it were as if he was smiling too.
She listed their names and I noticed how they had an off edge to them, it sounded like names grandparents had.
"They're all very interesting looking," I noted hoping that wasn't a rude thing to say aloud.
"Yes! And their all together! Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. And they live together." I could feel the judge spill from her lips. But I'd admit, even in Phoenix people would have their opinions about that.
"Which are the Cullens, they don't look related."
"They're not, they're all adopted, like you." She laughed, although, nothing was funny. "Jasper and Rosalie, the blonde ones, are eighteen and are twins, everyone else is seventeen."
Twins? That didn't seem true.
"Mr and Mrs. Cullen took them in many years ago, they were so young then."
"That's really thoughtful," I smiled and my mind drifted to my parents.
"Yeah, but I don't think Mrs. Cullen can have kids." As if that took away from what Mrs. Cullen had done, any less loving and kind.
I shook my head, as if that made what they did any less honorable.
After a few more minutes, as if it'd been practiced a million times, they stood up together and made their way towards the door. Like the pixie haired girl, they were all graceful. It was unsettling to witness. The one whose name was Edward didn't look at me again.
One of the girls from my table, Angela happened to have to same class as me next. Biology II. She was shy too. I wouldn't say we were fast friends but I liked her above everyone else, minus his comment this morning, Eric was a close second. Sadly, she already had a partner for this class.
But Edward didn't. From the threshold I spotted him and his curly mess of hair sitting next to the center aisle. I walked in and introduced myself to the teacher. Thankfully, he had a fan in his room, I walked past it letting the cool hair hit my back and flow through the back my curls. My tennis skirt shift and started to lift so I awkwardly giggled and pushed the frail fabric back down.
Edward went rigid. He looked like I just bitch slapped his mother. I'd never had someone look at me with the disgust that he did. He look like he was fighting back the urge to vomit. Like his body was rejecting mine. I turned my head away— shocked, I felt already warm get red hot. Nevertheless, I stumbled over a book making my way towards him, and the girl sitting there giggle.
"Oh fuck off. " I muttered annoyed.
His eyes were black and unusually deep set. A dark onyx.
I sat next to him. I had no choice.
Looking at him made me want to touch the floor. It made me feel me feel not right.
I decided to keep my head down as I sat by him.
His posture changed, he leaned away from me sitting extremely at the edge of his seat and I worried if he was going to fall off. I wanted to slap him across the face and scratch his stupid perfect face. But that thought made me queasy. He was averting his gaze and kept his nose pointed elsewhere like we were trapped in an elevator and I was stinky homeless man covered in someone else shit as I profusely pissed myself
I sniffed my hair. But it smelled good to me, like the vanilla and coconut oil product Charlie bought me to wash my hair with. Not only did I had to endure his attitude through the corners of my eyes but I was completely missing the lesson which was definitely gonna fuck me over later. I spotted his hand on his leg clenched into a white fist. Was he racist maybe? It wouldn't that was a leap. He never relaxed, it was making me nervous. He had on a long black sleeved shirt. It was pushed up to his elbows. Surprisingly he was hard and muscular. He wasn't as slim as I first pegged him to be. But he looked ready to deck me in my face any moment. I looked at him daring once more and honestly, he was scaring me. There was something dark and threatening in his gaze and his overall demeanor.
A trick I learned from Renee was that whenever someone scared you or made you nervous, you could imagine them constipated. Pretend their anger or serious expression was a reaction to a mean little shit that just couldn't come out. I imagined it with Edward and couldn't fight the giggle that escaped my lips. I smacked my hand to my lips to stop myself before he actually ended up snapping my neck.
I decided not to look at him again for the rest of the class. Because of him, and his ridiculous attitude, class dragged on for me. I watched the clock begging to be let out. He looked like he was holding his breath, was he always like this? If not, why was he acting like this? I didn't know him from Eve. He didn't get to act like I killed his mom and was let out of jail earlier on overcrowding and good behavior.
I looked up at him and regretted it faster than Bill Clinton regretted letting Monica suck him off in the Oval Office . He was shooting daggers at me. And man, if looks could kill I'd be hanging from the ceiling with my intestines sprawled out on the classroom floor.
Then the bell rung and Edward was gone. And I sat there and wondered if he'd even been there at all.
Frozen, I sat while Mike walked up to me.
"You're Isabella right?"
I squinted my eyes.
"Rosabella." I corrected for maybe the third time today.
"I'm Mike."
"Hi Mike." I was still in shock and I wasn't up for this whole introduction game again.
"You need help heading to class?" This guy seemed less genuine, I sensed his self serving motives from a mile away. But I did need help.
"I have purgatory— I mean gym."
He smiled brightly which let me know he had that class too. By the time we got there I knew Micheal's life story. Not that I had asked for it .
"So, did you piss in Cullen's cornflakes or what?" He didn't seemed to upset at that idea.
So he did know me from Eve.
"No, I've never spoken a word to him." I say relief wash over him, though I had no clue why.
And with that in mind I sat through gym begrudged at the thought of Edward Cullen's attitude now that I knew it was definitely targeted.
The final bell rang and I found my way back into the front office from that morning. Low and behold Edwards was there with his back facing. He argued with the woman in a low attractive voice.
He was trying to trade from sixth hour Biology II to another time—any other time.
I refused to believe it was about me. It couldn't be. But the look on his face told me it was.
It seemed impossible that the complete aggravation on his face was brought on by me. I hadn't done anything!
Edward stood there saying nothing for a moment, then he turned back to the receptionist.
"Never mind then," he said in a hastily voice. " I'll just have to endure."
He rushed out making sure he didn't touch me as he did.
"How was your day dear?"
"Perfect." I lied.
I rushed out soon after and headed to Charlie's, fighting tears the whole way back.
