GREEN
After their respective sips, Elizabeth asked, "All right Mr. Baker, shall we get back to it. What is your other suggestion?"
Baker carefully set his glass back on the table. "You know that Napoleon is particularly put out by the Russians. They left his Continental System, which was established mostly to starve the British Empire of trade. Now the Russians and Swedes are back to trading with Britain, and the emperor is very put out by it. He has gathered a mighty army – some say 700,000 men – and he is going East. It could turn out to be his greatest triumph, but he could just as well fail miserably and leave most of them buried in the frozen ground. Either way, it is going to be a very rough autumn and winter for the army."
Elizabeth was surprised that anyone could think over half a million men insufficient for any task you could imagine, but she knew practically nothing about the issue. "How does that help us?"
Baker chuckled. "At best, it will be a miserable experience. The Russians say their three best soldiers are October, November, and December. I think we should try to get our major reassigned to that campaign. We need to get him promoted or demoted, whichever will work. In the confusion, we should be able to get the colonel out, or at least, the new negotiator should be more amenable to either persuasion or leverage. We have to engineer a significant move, as an ordinary transfer will not get our job done."
Elizabeth thought the plan sounded half-mad, and even if it was a good plan, she could not imagine any way a half-dozen Englishmen could accomplish it.
"Let us just stretch our imaginations enough to presume you have some plan to bring this reshuffling of the deck about. If the major is our biggest obstacle, removing him seems a good first step. However, it seems to me it just moves the problem from impossible to accomplish to difficult."
Longman said, "My father had a favorite saying: 'The difficult we accomplish immediately, the impossible takes a little longer.'"
Elizabeth laughed. "My father's favorite regarded his bookroom: 'Enter with caution, exit with haste.'"
Everyone chuckled along with her, for a moment. Elizabeth remembered that she had absconded with Longman's drink, so she poured him a new glass, and just for her own amusement, she poured the same for Caroline to see if she could stand the heat without asking first.
That lady laughed, "Well played," but then she took the brandy and sipped in a manner that suggested it was not her first sip, nor even her dozenth.
Elizabeth said, "All right, let us say the objective can be met. How do we go about that? I presume you are not recommending you join the French Army and work your way up."
Baker replied, "I assume you know the French have their equivalent of our 'first circles', and like the British upper class, they carry on with parties, balls, musicals, races, hunts and all the other entertainments no matter how active the war. Their revolution tried to wipe out the aristocracy, but that is like trying to kill all the rats in the world. Napoleon simply reconstituted the elite classes with new people, barely distinguishable from the old."
Longman said, "It is much as predicted. It always happens that way. Kings and emperors always do that to ensure a cadre of loyal retainers. The power of the state can be used to reward or punish. You usually just replace one group of rats with another – no offense, Mrs. Darcy."
Elizabeth laughed. "None taken. That does make sense. I have no idea if that is an efficient way to organize societies, but every civilization since the dawn of time had something similar, so I suppose it is not that surprising."
Baker continued, "With the war on, the new elites can have significant impact in army matters. Many of them are the emperor's confidants, many are army brass and others have money and influence. They can be worked. We just need to find out how to work them."
Elizabeth wondered if she could manage to drag the Earl's lazy carcass over to France to try rescuing his own heir rather than pawning the job off on his nephew; but that seemed like a task she was unlikely to accomplish. She tried to imagine anyone else she knew but could not come up with anybody at all. She could send Mr. Bingley, but that that would be akin to sending a puppy to tackle a pack of wolves.
"All right, I can see that. How would we approach them? I am completely unable to think of someone I know that I could send to do the job without success."
Baker nodded. "Miss Bingley, would you be willing to assist me for a few minutes by standing over by the desk?"
"Of course, Mr. Baker," Caroline said, with entirely more enthusiasm than Elizabeth expected. Caroline had been paying a lot of attention to the thief catcher, but Elizabeth still had no more idea why than she ever had. It was entirely possible she was just fascinated to be included in such a private conversation. Perhaps, it might just be the excitement of meeting someone so far outside of her experience – something like meeting a pirate. Perhaps, Miss Bingley's life was so dreadfully dull that anything novel was to be cherished.
While Elizabeth was pondering such questions, Caroline walked over to where Baker asked, and was waiting curiously.
Elizabeth watched as Baker stood up, and then, much to her surprise, he somehow changed his posture entirely, to the point where he even looked, dare she say it, 'haughty'. Normally, he walked as if he never wanted to make any noise, which was probably true given his profession. He carried a posture that seemed to make him nearly invisible, and certainly unnoticeable, probably for the obvious reasons. Now, however, he walked over to Miss Bingley with a slight but noticeable swagger, and spoke in a surprisingly good, upper-class Derbyshire accent. "Pardon me, madam. I hope you will excuse the breach of propriety, but we lack a common acquaintance to introduce us. Fitzwilliam Darcy, at your service."
He made a bow exactly as a gentleman of Mr. Darcy's standing would make, no more, no less. Elizabeth just stared in shock, because if the man had walked into any ball or theatre dressed like her husband and did that, she would have been entirely convinced she had just met the real Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Caroline played along, giving the man the exact courtesy that the usual rules of etiquette suggested for a man of his station. "I will pardon you, Mr. Darcy. I am Miss Bingley. I am quite happy to meet you."
"Might I have the honor of this dance, madam."
He held out his hand, Caroline took it in the usual fashion, and the man led her through a perfect first half-dozen steps of a reel, and even without music, the pair looked like they had been dancing for decades together.
They spoke the usual civilities during the dance, and Elizabeth was entirely certain it was the best disguise she had ever seen, and Baker's plan was obvious.
She said, "Just to be clear, you are proposing to enter French high society, pretending to be my husband, and try to politick a transfer of Major Boucher?"
"Yes, madam. Either that or find another way to finesse it. Perhaps, someone can take over the negotiations, or we can get the prisoners transferred to another command. Perhaps I can find someone who bears a grudge against the major and might be willing to help us exact retribution. It is all a matter of making connections, spreading a small bit of money around and finding a way to finish the job."
"And you think you can do this? It is one thing to fool a few people for five minutes, and quite another thing to do it for weeks or months."
"Therein lies the risk, Mrs. Darcy. I am convinced I can do it. If I get caught, bad things might happen, but I doubt very much I will get caught. Your husband was never the most social person in the world. I will take his own clothes and get Bates to make any adjustments. We are of similar size so that should not be difficult. I can get a proper valet to fix up my hair and clothing, as necessary. I could even engage a French valet and buy new French clothing, which gives nearly infinite opportunities for gossip and mischief. It can be done, for far less money than you might think; and I believe it is the plan most likely to succeed with the least risk. Ordinary Englishmen are banned from French society, but exceptions are made for those of the upper classes with the proper invitations, which we can easily obtain by mentioning that we are there to negotiate."
Elizabeth was stunned but trying to think strategically. "But there is some risk. In that environment, if you are discovered they might throw you in prison or just introduce you to Madam Guillotine or Mr. Rifle. They might even decide to ransom you, and then we would have two people to rescue."
"There is that possibility, you are correct. The operation is not risk-free, but do you really think my profession of hunting down thieves and murders is the ideal way to live to a ripe old age?"
Elizabeth gaped at the assertion, but it was not quite as surprising as it might have been. It certainly explained why he was unconcerned about any difficulties of hauling her back to Meryton before her marriage.
She said, "This is however riskier than what we originally planned, Mr. Baker. What do you propose as compensation? I know you mentioned your pride earlier, but I doubt you are willing to do it all for bragging rights or your usual wages."
Baker looked at her carefully. He had led Caroline back to the table during the previous discussion, so he helped her to sit, exactly as a gentleman should, as if he was following precise instructions from a deportment manual that had been drilled into him since birth.
Once she was comfortable, he took his own seat, took a sip of his drink. "I would like to leave this profession. I would like my children to be better off, and by that, I do not mean just more successful thief-catchers."
Elizabeth thought a moment. "What does that mean, Mr. Baker? My husband said he would be content spending £50,000 to get his cousin back hale and hearty. Would that be enough?"
"More than enough, Mrs. Darcy. It is not just the money though. I would like to become a gentleman in truth, not just a pretend gentleman."
"So, you need an estate. You would be minor gentry, new money. but gentry, nonetheless. Your grandchildren would be considered gently born, and of course, you can improve the estate to increase your income and so forth. With one good estate, you could start a true family legacy if you are clever and willing to work hard at it."
"Yes, that is it exactly."
Elizabeth thought about for a time. "Becoming a gentleman is more than just buying an estate, although that is certainly a prerequisite. You have learned some of the customs, quite well I might add, but you need to learn to manage an estate, take care of the tenants, attract good tenants in the first place, make good decisions, market your crops, manage finances, manage disasters. The list is long, but not infinite. If you marry well, that will help immensely. The right wife can bring in skills you would need, and maybe even a reasonable dowry would not be out of the question."
"Yes, ma'am."
Elizabeth thought about it for a while, gnawing it over from every angle. She was not overly worried about the cost of the plan, since it would eventually come from the Matlock estate, even if Pemberley had to advance it, and even if she had to beat the colonel into submission to get him to pay his debts. If the scheme worked, she would get the colonel back to England for what amounted to a pittance, not that much more than Georgiana's dowry. The risk to the Darcy reputation seemed minimal, even if Baker got caught. The risk to his person was bothersome, but she reflected she had already sent him to act as a spy in a war zone, so as he said, he had no risk-free options.
After some thought, she finally said, "Suppose I promise this, Mr. Baker. Bring back Colonel Fitzwilliam in good condition, and I will ensure that you get what you need. I will not stipulate a monetary amount. You will have to trust me on that. But I can arrange for you to have enough. I am thinking the Fitzwilliam family probably has an estate they can just give you, and it should by all rights be them doing the payment, not Pemberley. That said, the Darcys will obviously be guaranteeing it. I will personally ensure that you and whomever you marry are introduced to society to the best of my ability. My husband, should he survive will do the same thing he was doing for Mr. Bingley, namely teaching you to be a gentleman, hiring you a good steward, that sort of thing. If he does not survive, I will assume the same obligation and find another. And of course, in a few months you will have the gratitude and a major obligation from the Earl of Matlock for his own hide, and my husband assures me the colonel is a man who pays his debts. Will that do, Mr. Baker?"
Baker smiled, took his glass in salute. "It will more than do, Mrs. Darcy. It is quite generous."
Elizabeth held her glass close to a toast. "Not so generous as all that. If you fail, I will pay you for your time at treble your usual rates, and reasonable expenses, but no more."
"That is more than fair, Mrs. Darcy."
Elizabeth clinked. "To your success, Mr. Darcy."
Baker said, "There is only one more problem to resolve. I need to gather intelligence, across a wide swath of the French upper society to try to find the appropriate leverage."
Wondering what difficulty Mr. Baker was about to throw on her, she cautiously said, "You mean you need gossip, sir."
"Exactly."
Elizabeth looked at Longman, who had been watching the whole operation with some amusement, and asked, "I should have asked you before, Mr. Longman, but what do you think of this plan?"
"It seems as good a plan as any, Mrs. Darcy. If anyone can pull it off, Baker is your man."
Elizabeth nodded. "You may as well let the other shoe drop, Mr. Baker."
Baker nervously said, "There are two distinct gossip circuits, ma'am. If we want to ensure success," then he paused as if unsure of himself, and continued, "I need a Mrs. Darcy."
Elizabeth gasped. "I cannot leave, Mr. Baker."
"I am not proposing that, madam. We need an actress to play the part. She will have to be well-compensated, and well-trained, but that should be manageable with the right actress."
Elizabeth did not like the sound of that at all but had to admit it was true. Sending Mr. Darcy in without Mrs. Darcy would be like fighting with one hand tied behind your back. She was uncomfortable with the idea of someone impersonating her, but no more uncomfortable than any dozen of the other things she had faced in the past few months.
She was starting to rack her brain about how she would go about finding such a person, but was interrupted when Caroline said, "I will do it."
Everyone startled at that and stared at Caroline, who looked completely defiant.
She continued, "I am the perfect candidate. You need not train me, as I could well have been Mrs. Darcy if things had transpired differently. I know more about Mr. Darcy's social connections than the real Mrs. Darcy does, so I could steer Mr. Baker away from anyone likely to know he is false. I can work out some signals to tell him when to speak and when to be silent. I have the manners and knowledge of etiquette necessary to survive and thrive, so I can fill in any information about the latest fashions that Mr. Baker might be lacking. I speak French flawlessly. I am inordinately good at gathering gossip and keeping it to myself. And most importantly of all, I truly want to do this."
Elizabeth was stunned, and staring at her friend in confusion, without any idea what to say.
Caroline said emphatically. "Please, Elizabeth – allow me this chance."
Elizabeth did her best to pull her mouth closed, stared at Caroline some more, and finally said, "Are you mad?"
"No more so than Mr. Baker."
"All right, although I could dispute that, since you have far more to lose and less to gain than he does. I will give you the benefit of the doubt – for now. Explain why you want to stick your neck out like this?"
Caroline leaned forward. "I am in the corridor, Elizabeth. I peeked into this door, and it goes into a room I would desperately like to visit."
Elizabeth chuckled that turnabout was fair play, but simply said, "Explain."
Caroline stared at her hands for a moment. "You said it yourself earlier. You and I have never done anything. We have been raised in a terribly constraining environment, and I want more. I want to do something, and this sounds like the perfect opportunity. Besides that …" and then she stared hard at Elizabeth, and finally continued, "… besides that, Mr. Baker is clever, but I think I would dramatically enhance your chance for success. No offense, Mr. Baker, but while I respect your skills in the street or the tavern, you will never in a thousand years best me in a drawing room or ballroom."
Baker laughed. "I will concede my weakness, and take it like a man, Miss Bingley. I will do my best not to sulk or pout, as difficult as that might be."
Caroline laughed, and looked back to Elizabeth for either permission or to continue the battle.
Elizabeth thought about it for quite some time. "If word gets out, it might ruin your reputation."
"I will take that chance. Besides that, properly managed I think I could just as easily use it to enhance my reputation, so long as you did not contradict whatever story we all agree to upon my return. Whether we succeed or fail, I am convinced I can make myself famous if I want to – in the good way. I am not concerned."
Elizabeth started to say something, but Caroline leaned forward and took her wrist to halt her. "Elizabeth, you have no idea what it is like to be a 'new money social climber with money from trade' in the best seminaries in the country, although I suspect you will find out when you go into society. I have had my slings and arrows already. I am more resilient than you might think."
Elizabeth thought some more until she finally came to the most important question. "So, you want to do this because you are bored?"
"Yes – but that is the reason for almost every action anyone takes to improve their lot. I have enough money to live well for the rest of my life. If my reputation was ruined, all that would exclude me from is the first circles, and …" then she thought about it a moment, and finally said, "… I am not entirely certain that would be a loss. So long as I retain the friendship of the Darcys and the Matlocks, I think I will thrive and prosper, one way or another."
Elizabeth thought about it for some time, and finally said, "Mr. Longman, what do you think?"
Longman had been silent through most of the discussion. He thought about it for a few moments, and finally asked, "Miss Bingley, are you abnormally tall, or a grown woman?"
She laughed. "A grown woman, of course. I am well past my age of majority – practically on the shelf, if you wish to know the truth of the matter."
"And do you freely, of your own volition, choose this course, being fully aware of all the dangers, physical, moral and reputational?"
"I do."
"Mrs. Darcy, there is your answer. Once people are grown, they should usually make their own decisions. Let me ask this. If Miss Bingley was planning to marry someone, would you try to promote or prevent it?"
"Of course not. If she asked for my opinion, I would give it to her. Otherwise, I would not consider it my business."
"This is the same. There seems no more risk in Baker's plan than marriage. In fact, there is perhaps even less, since marriage is for life, whereas this scheme will last a quarter at the most."
Baker said, "If it helps ease your mind, Mrs. Darcy, I plan to maintain an escape plan at all times. Carriages, horses, everything prepared so we can leave the country posthaste and in utmost secrecy. I will keep the smugglers busy and prepared."
Elizabeth stared at Caroline for some time, and finally asked, "Are you certain?"
"More certain of this than anything I have ever done in my life. Please, Elizabeth – let me do this!"
Elizabeth did not ask about compensation. As someone trying to enter the gentry, it would not do for Caroline to work for coin. They both understood the unspoken agreement that Elizabeth would somehow make it worth her while later, and that she was honor-bound to do so.
"Do we need your brother's permission?"
Caroline chuckled, took a sip of her brandy. "You and Mr. Longman loved to share old father's expressions. My father's was, 'It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission'."
Elizabeth laughed. "I do believe that is true."
Caroline said, "It is especially true when it is Mrs. Darcy asking for forgiveness. Shall we go, Mr. Darcy?"
Astounded by the rapidity of the assertion, Elizabeth started to object, but before she could do so, Baker jumped up, offered his arm to Caroline, said, "It will be my pleasure, Mrs. Darcy," and then turned and led her from the room while Elizabeth just stared at the retreating pair, and Longman laughed quietly.
She thought the exit somewhat theatrical, since both Baker and Bingley would have to return on the morrow for clothing, detailed planning, money, and the like – but it was well done for all that.
With a reasonably contented smile, she said, "I believe I will go look in on my husband. Would you like to join me, Mr. Longman?"
"It will be my pleasure, Mrs. Darcy."
