I decided to play nice today. We'll see how I'm feeling next time.
As always, thanks for all the love and happy reading!
"How's this, Luce?"
Lucy looked up from her cookbook to check out his dough. "That's much better," she said. "Now you just take the cookie cutters and press them down into the dough. Start on an edge and keep them as close together as you can so you can get as many cookies out of it as possible."
"Got it!" Natsu pulled the box of cookie cutters closer and began to rifle through it as Lucy went back to her own batch of cookies. As she read her recipe, she couldn't stop her mind from wandering to the conversation she'd had the previous day with Happy.
"So I'm… what again?"
"His mate," Happy said. "Any being with dragon blood- from what I've seen, at least a quarter dragon anyway- has one perfect mate, and you're Natsu's."
"That's crazy," Lucy argued. "I'm a human. I'm biologically incompatible, and my lifespan is, like, a sneeze compared to his."
"Demons and dragons don't live that long," Happy corrected.
"It doesn't matter, Happy, I can't be."
"You are, though." The Exceed crossed his arms. "I even asked Grandeeney about it. You're his mate, and while his inner dragon has figured it out, the rest of him still needs to catch up. On. His. Own." He'd then gone on to tell her about some ice dragon hybrid that had basically gone crazy after he was told his mate was the person he hated most of all.
"Yeah, but Happy, he didn't like his mate. Natsu does like me, at least as a friend."
"He could have learned to like her, if given the proper chance, and things could have been better, but he was rushed and refused to accept her, like you're refusing to accept what I'm saying. I don't want to risk it with Natsu. I won't."
Lucy watched Natsu for a moment while she mixed up her ingredients. He was bent at the waist, carefully situating the cutters on his dough and then pushing them in with a grin. He could be so happy about such little things like that, she wondered how on earth she was supposed to be compatible with someone like him. Maybe it was because she had grown up with money, because even though she knew that it couldn't buy her happiness, she didn't think she'd ever been so happy over something so small. Perhaps when her mother had been alive and she'd been young, but not anymore.
Not only that, she was having trouble accepting being a dragon's mate. What kind of crap was that anyway, fate choosing a mate for her? Not that her being Natsu's mate necessarily meant he had to end up with her, but there was an obligation there that she wasn't sure she could shake. Even if she wasn't a dragon herself, she could understand the kind of pain that would accompany not spending your life, or in their case her life, together when they were 'meant to be.' She didn't think that was a healthy start to a relationship, and she definitely didn't like the idea of her fate being decided for her like that.
Not to mention she still wasn't sure if Natsu's conscious self liked her. Obviously, his subconscious did, since it was in some deep bonded level of love with her, but how did the rest of him feel? Was it just a friendly feeling, or did he perhaps have real feelings for her? Now that she knew Happy had instructed Natsu that a good night kiss was customary after a date, she had no way of knowing if he'd done it because it was what he thought he should do or if he wanted to.
On and on her thoughts bounced around while the pair baked cookies together. Natsu had a blast making the shapes, but once he found out that he got to decorate them after they cooled, he'd scared Plue with how much noise he made. Lucy had laughed with him as they planned out some of the cookies they would decorate together, and for a while, Lucy allowed herself to forget about her troubles.
Of course, it couldn't last, and by the time she got ready for bed, she was ready to pop. Over twenty four hours, and she knew if she didn't talk to someone, or do something about it soon, she was going to start pulling her hair out.
With that in mind, Lucy put on her most comfortable, and most revealing, tank top and shorts combo and once she'd finished brushing her teeth, went to Natsu's bedroom.
She was antsy, desperate for answers, but she was also extremely nervous, so she found herself standing outside his door for a few minutes before she finally knocked.
He told her to enter almost before her fist met the door, so, after a quick deep breath for courage, she opened it.
"What's up, Luce?" he asked, her computer open in his lap. He was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and his back against his bed.
"I just… wanted to talk to you for a bit before I went to bed."
"Oh!" Natsu clicked a few things on the laptop and then set it aside before looking up at her. "What did you… want… to…"
Lucy kept a close eye on Natsu's face. His eyes remained their dark, black color but he was clearly interested in what he could see. This gave her a little more courage as she moved forward to kneel next to him. "I had a question, actually."
His eyes never left her body as he nodded, obviously waiting for her to continue.
"I, um, I wanted to ask about our date."
"What about it?" he asked as he finally looked up at her face. His eyes were lighter around the edges, but they hadn't completely changed. Perhaps he was fighting it?
"Well, at the end of it you kissed me. I was just curious… why you did that."
"Was I not supposed to?" Natsu looked stricken, like he had committed some grave sin. "I'm sorry if it wasn't okay. I just… I thought that I…"
Lucy smiled and grabbed his closest hand. "It's okay," she reassured him. "I wasn't saying you weren't supposed to I just wanted to know… why you did it." Did he feel like he was obligated or did he want to?
Natsu looked away, a blush clearly beginning to bloom across his cheeks. "Well, I… I was following a cheat sheet of sorts. I wanted to make sure I did everything right so I did some research and… that was the last thing."
"Oh." Lucy couldn't keep her disappointment out of her voice, or keep her shoulders from slumping at his admission. "So you did it because you thought you were supposed to, then."
"Well, I mean, yes, but also no." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I also… did it because I wanted to. I've never done it before, you know, and I was curious. And because I like you, of course."
"You like me?" Lucy asked, still skeptical. "As in, you like me or you like me?"
Natsu's mouth opened and shut several times, like a fish, before he finally sighed. "I don't know what that means."
Lucy studied him for a while as he in turn studied her. Eventually, Lucy scooted closer. "Can I try something?" she asked.
"Sure," he said immediately. "What do I need to do?"
"Just stay there," she answered, "and… focus on me, okay? Try not to let your mind wander."
Natsu frowned, unsure if she meant the way he worried that she did, but before he could ask, she was leaning forward and grabbing him by his face. Once he realized what she meant to do, he forced his eyes open wide and desperately tried to focus on her.
He didn't want to miss kissing her again. Natsu was certain they had kissed in the park, but he'd lost himself almost immediately after their lips touched and he would be even more damned than he already was before he missed out on that experience again.
Lucy found that her courage began to leave her as she met his gaze, so she closed her eyes as she leaned forward. At the last moment, she adjusted course and kissed his cheek instead. She peppered his cheek with kisses as she built up her courage before making her way to his mouth, where she pressed her lips firmly against his.
Natsu felt himself fading, but desperately fought to keep himself aware. Lucy had stopped, their lips pressed tightly together. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, but he didn't have long to think about it before his hands responded on their own and settled on her sides, just above her hips. They squeezed her a little as they pulled her closer.
Lucy was surprised by his action, but she allowed herself to be guided forward. One of her legs ended up between his as she settled her weight just above his knee. His hands continued to slide up and down her body as he took the lead and began to kiss her.
Natsu couldn't quite understand what was happening. He knew that Lucy was okay with that he was doing, but he didn't know why he was doing it; his body seemed to be acting on its own.
Meanwhile, Lucy was torn between being happy that they were kissing and worried that she was once again being held by Natsu's other personality- his inner dragon, as she'd decided to refer to it. She knew she could answer the question if she just opened her eyes, but she didn't want to. Natsu was acting different from the first time. He was being more considerate, moving slower and savoring, rather than attacking her mouth like before, and she wanted to savor that.
Lucy's arms wound around his neck as she pressed herself against his chest. She hadn't planned on getting so close, but there was a part of her that wanted more with him and it was holding the reins right now. Natsu groaned a little as their bodies pressed together, and Lucy found she couldn't stop herself from finding out just which Natsu she was kissing.
She tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth as she pulled away and opened her eyes. They were both breathing heavily, their arms wound around each other, and as Lucy tried to sit back, his arms tightened around her. To Lucy's surprise, Natsu's eyes seemed to be swirling, a mix of his usual black and occasional gold, instead of one or the other. She couldn't quite read his expression, but she thought she saw a combination of lust and confusion, although she couldn't be sure.
Natsu was hanging on by his teeth as Lucy pulled away. He wanted to pull away too, to take a moment and breathe, but he couldn't get his arms to let her go. Worse, they tightened around her, refusing to let her move more than a few inches.
"So… did you like that?" Lucy asked after a long, silent moment.
He couldn't find words, couldn't seem to convince his mouth to open, let alone speak, so Natsu merely nodded. And then he was pulling her close again to claim her mouth once more.
By the time he convinced himself to pull away and regained control of his body, he had spread Lucy out on the floor and pressed himself against her, with her legs wrapped up in his.
Natsu pulled himself up onto his knees as he finally managed to wrangle his body back under control. Lucy was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling and nearly driving him crazy with how hard it was to look away. With her shirt riding up and exposing even more of her skin to his eyes, he was surprised that he didn't combust right then and there.
"I don't think I understand what it was you were trying," Natsu said, when he was finally able to make words again. Talking was good. Talking was a distraction, which he desperately needed.
"I just wanted to know if you liked doing that, or if you only did it because you thought you were supposed to."
"I think it's safe to say that I liked doing it," he said as he forced himself to pull away and sit on the floor again. Lucy fixed her shirt before she did the same.
She began to fiddle with her nails as she spoke again. "So did you… like the kissing because kissing is fun or did you like it because… it was… me?" Lucy couldn't bring herself to look at Natsu as she asked. She was far too embarrassed.
Natsu stared at the top of Lucy's head as she spoke, unsure how he could have given her the impression that the former was true. Did human men have no control? Did they get that excited kissing just any woman they encountered? He wasn't even sure he could pretend to enjoy such a thing with just anyone.
"I… I'm pretty sure it was you," he said as he also studied his hands.
Lucy licked her lips as she glanced at him through her lashes. "Do you think… if you did like doing that with me… do you think that maybe… you and I… could… try other things?"
She saw Natsu's eyes bulge out of his face as his head whipped up in her direction. "What do you mean 'other things'?"
"Well, I don't know if it's a thing demons or dragons do, but… you know, maybe while you're here, we could… date. Or, you know, do things that… dating people… do…"
"Do we not already do that?" Natsu asked. "We spend time together all the time. We watch movies together, we've even gone on a date before. I think us eating out the other times together could even be considered dates, if we wanted to."
"That's not what I meant," Lucy said. Embarrassment filled her to the point that she wasn't sure she could finish her thought. Apparently her 'I'm an adult and can have sex without getting attached' talk hadn't prepped her for the part where she asked for that particular arrangement. Perhaps it was because it was Natsu, or the fact that despite her constant reassurances, she did like him just a little, but she didn't think she could follow through with a friends with benefits thing. Not if she was having this much trouble just talking about it.
"Nevermind." Lucy quickly stood up and made a move to leave. "It's nothing, nevermind. I just… nevermind."
"Wait, Lucy-"
"It's okay, nothing is wrong, I just…" Lucy's hands fluttered in front of her as she tried to find something, anything, to say. "Nevermind. Good night, Natsu." With that, she left and shut the door behind her.
Natsu remained still as he listened to her curse under her breath outside his door for a few seconds and then head towards her own room. He heard her shut her door and then groan as she fell onto her bed.
"Plue, I'm going crazy. Why can't I just get the words out? Am I not ready for this? He must be, right? He'd said it himself, demons will do just about anyone!"
Natsu's eyes snapped open as he finally understood what she'd been trying to say.
Oh…
