9.) Whatever Gets You

You have your way. I have my way.

As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

REI

"Alright, what happened?" Artemis asked as he and Luna got out of the car. I brushed past the others feeling my rage and fury rising again.

"What the actual fuck you two?" I demanded, cutting across anything the others could have said. My gaze focused mostly on Artemis; it had been him I'd spoken to about my concerns. If he couldn't properly communicate my requests to Luna then this situation was his damn fault.

"What happened to keeping them away from the danger until we knew they could handle it? Are you really that fucking keen to send them to their deaths?" I demanded, shoving his shoulder as soon as we were within range.

"Obviously not as keen as you were to betray them." Luna cut in before Artemis could reply.

"I didn't betray them." I asserted coldly, raw emotion starting to leak into my tone.

"You met up with Beryl multiple times, Mars. I saw you conspiring with her." She accused.

"Conspiring? What!? When?" I asked in confusion and exasperation, tonight had been the first time I'd met up with Beryl to talk about me betraying them if I couldn't talk them down.

"At your club." She told me firmly, accusation still heavy in her voice and even with her spelling it out it actually took me a minute to realize what in the nine hells she was talking about.

"Gods. It's a night club for fucks sake! It's not like I set up an authorized guest list." I exclaimed. "People go there to drink, relax... unwind. So yeah, some times I encounter people I'd rather not see – it wasn't like we were plotting."

I paused, still seeing the suspicion heavy on her features... and I could practically sense it trickling into the others. I sighed, running a hand back through my hair as I tried to calm myself down a bit as I elaborated.

"We ran into each other and she told me she didn't want to fight; we left it at that. That's all. And it wasn't a secret, I kept you informed – I told Artemis about it the morning after."

This time when I paused I met the woman's gaze firmly, watching her closely as the emotions of betrayal and annoyance built up inside of me further. I decided to let some of it out, cutting across her before she had a chance to speak again... simply for the sake of irritating her.

"And I do have a 'civilian life' in case you've forgotten. After everything I've done for you, I shouldn't be expected to give up what little personal life I have for this fiasco, Luna. She came to me at work, I'm not bringing this shit there." I snapped at her. "It's the one goddamned place I have where I can be normal, you're not taking that from me."

"You've been endorsing her political career." Luna countered stiffly with a severe expression on her face.

"Endorsing?! That is for my father's company." I paused for the briefest second, something cutting through my indignation. I had realized that I'd spoken about him in the present tense.

An indefinable sadness struck inside of me.

"Was. Was for my father's company." I corrected, feeling like all the fight had left me.

"Then how can you explain tonight? You two meeting up secretly in the middle of the night?" Luna demanded, getting in my face. I knew that my meeting with Beryl hadn't been entirely innocent but it had been done in their best interest.

So I lied.

"I was following the app. It said a shadow would appear here so I came by to make sure it didn't do any harm." I explained, so incredibly done with this conversation it wasn't even funny.

"And what? You decided to give Beryl a call and invite her along instead of your team mates with whom you're supposed to be working?" Luna demanded.

"As you've been saying this whole gods damned time, they're her army. You really think she doesn't have a way to keep track of them? If we could figure it out I'm damn certain she could." I defended, leaving out the fact that I was the reason Beryl was able to find them as easily as she did. My indignation rising as I remembered what had gotten me into this mess in the first place – they hadn't trusted me. They'd gone behind my back and given the others information that could get them hurt.

Get them killed.

"You really think I'm going to believe that?" Luna asked, I gritted my teeth. I was getting fed up with her shit. They'd been keeping more secrets than I had and it was time to start addressing those issues. If she wanted to fight, well, the gloves were coming off. My hand clenched firmly into a fist.

"You damn well better believe it, Luna, because that's the only explanation you're going to get." I snarled. "I've worked at this alone for the last five years, I deserve better than this and you fucking know it."

Artemis stepped between us.

"I think everyone needs to calm down." He said calmly. I continued to glare at Luna, the others gaze on me was like a thousand angry pinpricks on the back of my neck. I could almost feel their concern and worry that I was losing my mind.

I let out a low growl of annoyance and took a step back from Artemis, fully aware of the fact that without his intervention I would have lashed out.

"Rei, you need to back off a bit." Makoto said gently. "Calm down and explain yourself. We have no reason to doubt them so..."

"No reason to doubt them?! We have every reason to doubt them. They have always kept things from us, they know far more than they're saying, how can you not see that?" I demanded, turning my back to Luna so I could face them. "They're the ones hiding things from us but I'm the one you don't trust?"

"Rei..." Ami murmured, sounding torn. I could always count on her to read deeper into things than the others. But this time I had the feeling there was still too much going on... she was out of her depth. And it hurt me to see it.

"You're being an idiot, Rei." Minako chastised. "They're not keeping anything from us."

"No? Is that really what you believe, or is that just what you want to believe, commander?" I asked scathingly, letting sarcasm seep into my tone – not missing the flash of guilt that passed over Artemis' face at the sound of Minako's conviction.

"You're out of line, Rei." Makoto said, stepping in between Minako and I as she sensed the rising fury in me.

"I don't believe I am. I mean, haven't you been at all curious?" I questioned but all I got were blank looks. I decided to press my point. "Why are these shadows appearing? Do any of you have memories to answer that question? Do we even know what they are?"

I scowled when they remained silent, blank looks plastered on their faces. I decided to press my advantage while I still had it.

"And how about why we're fighting with Beryl in the first place? Any memories there either? What started this whole clusterfuck in the first place, hey?" My voice had steadily been rising in volume and rage. It was fortunate that we were in a rather deserted part of town.

"Rei. You need to calm down." Luna said, finally getting involved again. I whirled on her, still some what disbelieving of the fact that my friends were finding my side of the story so hard to comprehend. I thought we'd trusted each other more than that. Or at least I'd hoped we did...

But I'd always avoided testing that for fear they'd react exactly like this.

"You've been lying to us for years, Luna. I don't see why I should listen to anything you have to say... unless you're about to tell us what's really going on here. You've left us without answers for long enough, it's time we know everything you do." I spoke as calmly as I could but even I could hear the anger and fury that was tangled in my words.

I watched her and Artemis exchange a glance, if the others attention wasn't focused solely on me they would have seen the slight shake of Luna's head. I launched into the next part of my argument, still trying to force down the rage that was inside of me.

"Five years ago you came to me with part of the story, telling me that those shadows' commander was going to appear in the near future and I needed to keep you informed of what was going on. I did that without question."

I had to take a deep breath to steady myself.

"I did that without question even though I wanted an explanation. I kept you apprised of the situation and now that she's here, and she's willing to talk – to explain... you still won't tell us a goddamned thing. This is what I have a problem with, Luna, she is willing to answer my questions when you're not. You're supposed to be here to guide us, not keep us in the fucking dark."

"If you weren't so wrapped up in Beryl's mind games you'd..." Luna snapped, getting in my face again.

I felt a surge of anger course through my veins, a fire being stoked within me; a shadow falling across my life. In that moment I wanted the world to burn – for screaming death to rain down upon her – I wanted to be the one to draw the truth out of her. I wanted her to burn.

I drew in a shaky breath, feeling my control beginning to slip. I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand hard enough to draw blood. I needed to stop myself from losing it on her. Hurting her would do nothing to help my case. Perhaps after...

"That's enough Luna." Artemis said sharply, cutting across his girlfriend's tirade and jerking me out of my dark frame of mind. "Rei has done nothing but prove her loyalty to us and our cause time and time again. She's done everything we've asked of her knowing that the job needed to be done. She fought alone for five years, Luna."

He paused, looking between her and I again before focusing solely on the woman he loved; a soft pleading tone entering his voice.

"If you trust nothing else, trust me. Rei has never strayed from our side. She deserves the benefit of the doubt on this, she's provided you with an explanation for everything you've been suspicious about for the last few weeks. We owe her our trust and support."

"But not the truth?" I asked bitterly. Perhaps Beryl was right, maybe this was a lost cause. I was hoping that I'd be able to bring this up at a better time but now, seeing Luna, I knew that I wouldn't be trusted with anything other than information that was absolutely vital.

"As soon as we can answer your questions, Rei, we will." Artemis told me but he couldn't even bring himself to face me. He was lying, that was obvious enough. Perhaps it was time to start thinking more seriously about my next move.

Think about how I was going to get what I needed out of them without their cooperation.

"And what if I say that's not good enough? I've been your lapdog long enough and I feel that I, we, deserve some answers." I prompted, hoping to antagonize them into revealing something, anything, I could use later.

"We can't tell you anything Rei because we don't know anything." Luna said after glancing at Artemis for the briefest second. "I apologize for doubting you but..."

"But nothing Luna." Artemis cut across her again. "Your loyalty and conviction has been unwavering these last few years, Rei, and I ask that you have faith in us for a little longer while we try to find the answers to the questions you may have."

The silence between us was heavy, eventually I sighed; pushing hair back out of my face. I was too tired for this right now.

"Fuck this. I'm going to bed." I declared, this was going to be a tomorrow-me problem. "And take that damn app off their phones, I don't want one of them getting disemboweled over your mistakes. You told me that you'd help me take care of them so fucking help me. I don't care that all of a sudden Luna has cold feet about putting me in charge. Fix. It."

"In charge?" Minako asked, sounding surprised and a bit thrown. Even the others looked confused. "You're not in charge."

I looked at Artemis over her shoulder, wondering if he was going to jump in to explain or if I should explain. He stepped up.

"Minako, in light of Rei's more recent experience, we... we were hoping that you would stand down for a little while; just until Rei gets you and the others back up to speed. She's agreed to let you take over any and all duties that you want after that; we just think that right now... we need someone who's familiar with the changes these things have undergone recently. She's dealt with them and we think..."

"Dealt with them? If you were here earlier you'd see that she hadn't fucking dealt with that thing." Minako exclaimed. I let out a sigh again, inserting myself back into the conversation again even though it was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

"For the last time, it wasn't threatening anyone, Beryl had it under control. Keep them from hurting civilians by any means necessary; that's our primary directive, right?" I snarled. "I thought that getting involved after Beryl started gaining control would be a poor tactical choice. This place may look deserted but I know how intense these battles can get. And I know how easy it is to lose control of the situation – if we can avoid turning a civilian area into a war zone we should."

Minako and I were glaring at each other. Luna cleared her throat.

"Artemis, I would prefer that Rei no longer face any of these shadows on her own." Luna put in. "I no longer believe that..."

She paused, letting her voice trail off. I could practically hear the mistrust and suspicion in her voice, even after everything Artemis had said. A quick study of the others expressions and I found that I understood what Beryl had been trying to tell me – there was no chance of me convincing them of anything. I was truly on my own in my search for answers. I alone was of the mind that we didn't have to fight over this. And I'd never let myself forget that again.

Luna swallowed with a somewhat nervous glance at Artemis and started again.

"There is no reason for her to do this alone any longer, not when she has others there to... to support her." Luna amended, I tried my hardest to avoid laughing at her words. I could tell by the look of warning on Artemis' face when he glanced at her that we had both picked up on the underlying implication. She didn't trust me and wanted the others to keep an eye on me. Artemis didn't vocalize his thoughts again, leaving me to speak in my own defence again.

"I wasn't planning on dealing with them alone. I just didn't know if you had gotten around to explaining the situation to them yet. You did say that you wanted to be the one to tell them about everything." I snapped back at her, my anger was still rising within me but the lie had risen to my lips even quicker. Artemis reached over and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Rei's got a point, love. I see no reason for us to distrust her." He said, meeting Luna's eyes then looking towards Minako. I saw them both, eventually, give nods of agreement. His hand squeezed my shoulder for a second before he let go. "Now it's obvious that all of you need some rest and some time to think about this. I'd ask that if you get any notifications about the shadow incursions that you wait for Rei's instruction on the matter. Don't go engaging them on your own. Rei will call you to coordinate, understood?"

I watched as the other four nodded and turned away. Luna was still frowning at me. I did my best to calm down a bit more. It wouldn't help matters if I spontaneously combusted or something. I needed an outlet; something – anything.

With a scoff of disgust Luna turned away and began to make her way to her car, I didn't miss the sneer on her face as she did so. And it pushed me over the edge.

I let out a snarl of frustration, slamming my fist into the telephone pole I stood beside. All I wanted to do was avoid a war, why was that so hard for them to understand?! I jerked my hand back from the scorch marks I caused, not bothering to extinguish the fire I'd left behind.

Let it fucking burn, I really did not give a shit right now. Someone else could clean up the mess for a change.

Behind me I could hear the others whispering, instead of turning around and confronting them I grabbed my helmet, preparing to get on my motorbike. I needed to get out of here before I did something I'd regret.

"Rei. Hold up." Artemis called after me. I stopped short, he was probably the only person I felt compelled to listen to right now. I took a seat, leaning against my bike as I waited for him to approach. I heard Luna's car start up and drive off. Least her night seemed to be going as poorly as mine...

"I wanted to talk to you." He said as he stopped beside me.

"So I gathered." I remarked coolly, just because I stopped to listen didn't mean I felt any inclination to be civil.

"I'm sorry about Luna. She... she's been on edge for a while. I should have done more to ease her concerns." He apologized.

"Listen Artemis, I'm used to people not having faith in me, that doesn't bother me. What I don't appreciate is people stabbing me in the back." I took a breath trying to calm myself. It didn't work and I continued on with my spiel, my voice growing louder as I went on. "Giving them that app was... Idiotic. At. Fucking. Best. And you fucking know it. What if they'd gotten killed? What if something worse happened?Gods, Artemis..."

"I'm sorry Rei, I didn't realize..." Artemis cut across me, causing my anger to deflate somewhat. I sighed deeply, realizing that Artemis hadn't been involved in that clusterfuck. Of course it had been her.

"Luna gave it to them." I completed for him. "Goddamnit, does she not realize the lengths I'm going to here to stop people from dying?"

"She does. I think that's what makes her worried. My best guess is that she believes that you resent us for having... dragged you away from your life. And that makes her question you." He said, surprising me. I hadn't actually expected an answer to my mostly rhetorical question.

"Something dragged me away from my life and it sure as hell wasn't you two. And if I resent you two at all, well, that's a very recent development." I snapped at him, at the hurt look on his face I felt myself soften. "I'm sick of not knowing what to do, Artemis. I don't want this to end badly again as it clearly did last time."

"What do you remember of the old world?" He asked, I could see the wariness he tried to hide as he asked me this. I frowned, looking away from him for a moment trying not to feel guilty about the lies I was about to tell.

Behind his wariness was fear and that gave me all the push I needed to ignore my own feelings. It was all I needed to remind myself that they were lying to us – that they were part of the reason no one remembered me.

And that was all I needed to realize that part of me fucking hated them. Thus the words sprang to my lips with no further hesitation.

"I remember that it ended – there's not much there and what I do have is hazy." I lied; if they couldn't be honest with me, I saw no reason to be honest with them. "The fact that we're still here trying to do... whatever it is we're trying to do means we fucked up pretty bad in the old life. I don't want to have to go through this shit a third time, Artemis. I don't think we can handle that. We need to get it right this time."

"Yeah. We do." He agreed, laying a hand on my shoulder again. "And Rei, as soon as I know something I can tell you, I'll give you a call, okay?"

I nodded, catching his clarifying statement. He didn't say 'As soon as I know something', he'd said 'something I can tell you'. Some times he made it easy to forget that he'd been a bloody politician in his last life, using words to hide his intentions.

But I wouldn't forget that again.

I knew I was 'an acceptable loss' where they were concerned. They weren't worried about losing my trust. Or even losing me if the last five years were anything to judge by.

And if there was one thing tonight had made me realize it was that I was done being their weapon, it was time to become my own. It was time to take Michiru's advice and start living my life for me and not for some faded world.


AMI

I watched Rei and Artemis speaking with a vague sense of dread. Rei's posture was uncharacteristic, looking far more rigid than it should. There was a certain set to her shoulders that made me think she had decided something or was on the verge of deciding something. I'd seen the remnants of what she had gone through in the last five years but this, this was something else; something that almost scared me.

Rei glanced back at Minako once more before finally getting on to her motorbike, the look in her eyes was nothing I had ever seen before... despite the nagging familiarity of the expression. It was almost like I was used to seeing it on her features. The drive. The determination.

The wrath.

The expression sent a chill down my spine. I wasn't scared of seeing Rei like this, not really... but something about it bothered me. Almost like a sense of déjà vu. But that was frankly absurd, I'd never seen Rei look like this before.

Perhaps it was jamais vu instead; so little about this scenario resembled how things had been five years ago. Even Artemis was acting different. Usually he was content to sit back and allow Luna to take control of matters; she was always the one to communicate their will to us but now? Now it seemed that Artemis was comfortable giving the orders.

And Luna seemed rather unhappy with his current course of action. She hadn't even waited for Artemis to finish speaking to Rei before she left in their car.

"You think Artemis is sleeping on the couch tonight?" Makoto whispered in my ear, her eyes following my gaze. It was clear she was thinking along the same line as I had been, at least in regards to Artemis and Luna.

I shrugged, tearing my gaze off of Artemis as he began to approach the rest of the team now that Rei was gone from sight. Minako stepped towards him like she was squaring up for a fight.

I fought back a sigh, it seemed like it was just going to be one of those nights. If Minako didn't get to hash things out properly with Rei she would fly off the handle at anyone. Including Artemis it seemed.

Luckily Artemis seemed to know exactly how to hold her off, all it took was him raising a hand in a placating gesture and speaking in a wearied voice.

"Minako, could we not do this right now? Luna just left me in some godforsaken parking lot." Artemis sighed, as if in relief that Minako was just letting him talk rather than picking a fight. "Now. I know what I said earlier but I will need your phones."

"What?" Usagi asked, Artemis' gaze didn't even flicker from Minako. He wasn't concerned with Usagi at all, his sole concern right now was his protegee.

"I need your phones, all of them, so I can take the app off. This isn't about me not trusting you, this is about me wanting to protect you."

"You told Luna..." Minako started to speak but was just as quickly cut off again.

"What I had to to get her to leave. Now I'm telling you what I need from you to make sure you're all actually protected. We've gone this long without someone dying and I really would like to continue that streak."

"You really think they're that dangerous?" Minako's question no longer held any hint of disrespect, she honestly just wanted a straight answer from him and then she'd make her judgment. I had the feeling only Artemis has the ability to disarm her anger like this. And probably only due to the long history they had with each other. I knew, to her, he was a mix of an older brother, best friend, and father figure. He'd watched her grow up and looked out for her as long as any of us could remember. So when he truly expressed his worry for Minako, she would listen.

"I do." Artemis' answer was all she needed before she took her phone from her pocket, unlocked it, and handed it over to him. Then she looked over to us.

"Phones." She requested. I fought back the urge to roll my eyes. Perhaps I'd have to get Artemis to teach Rei how defuse Minako's temper... Might do the two of them some good.

I took my phone out handed it over when he was done with Minako's, which prompted Makoto to do the same. Usagi seemed to be the only hold out, her phone remaining clutched in her hand when Artemis stepped up to her.

"Luna..." Her voice hesitant and unsure.

"I'll be talking to her after Minako gives me a ride home, Usagi. I can assure you she won't take issue with you doing this." Artemis promised. I frowned at how earnest and sincere he sounded, completely hiding the anger I knew he felt. His conversations with Luna and Rei earlier had left no doubt in my mind that he was furious about what had happened.

And it as only continuing to feed my suspicion that he was hiding something. He and Luna both.

Makoto nudged me in the side.

"Make that Luna on the couch." She breathed, making sure none of the others could hear us. I fought down the urge to laugh, instead focusing on the gentle brush of Minako's hand on Usagi's arm.

Finally Usagi handed her phone over, allowing the app to be removed.

"Fuck. Anyone else feel like a drink?" Makoto asked settling a hand on Usagi's shoulder, I could tell just from her tone that she was really asking if we wanted to get together and discuss the night's events.

"Are you offering to host?" Usagi asked, her voice was remarkably upbeat considering the night we'd had so far.

"I sure am." Makoto said, grinning down at her. "You in?"

"I'll go drop Artemis at home then meet up with you there." Minako put in, giving Usagi's arm a gentle squeeze before stepping back.

"Good, all I want is a discussion with my fiancee and a good night's sleep. Don't go to bed angry and all that, you know?" Artemis grumbled, Minako caught Makoto's eye over Usagi's head and made a face – seemingly communicating something about the Artemis and Luna situation. I found I didn't care what they were going on about.

I really did not want to go through this tonight – I knew exactly what was coming and was not looking forward to it at all. But I'd been outvoted 3-1. So we were doing it.

I was definitely going to take Makoto up on that drink though. Maybe even finish one before Minako returned from dropping Artemis off. I'd probably need it.


ARTEMIS

I hardly even stepped through the door before kicking off the argument.

"What the fuck were you thinking Luna? I've been telling you we need to do something to show our trust in Rei or we will lose her. And then you go and do this!

"I know you've never been comfortable with her, even back in the old world, but she is not going to betray us. She just needs to know that we value her. We need to fix this before things go wrong.""

"And what do you intend to do?" Luna demanded, not arguing my points thus far but she clearly wasn't just going to step back

"I'm being logical here. We need to keep her trust and faith. She's been going through a hard time lately and I'm worried that something could push her over the edge... that she'll walk away and never come back." That's why I decided to fix this, I'm giving her something she wants.

"Oh good. Caving to her demands." Voice is seething with condescension. "What did you tell her."

"Nothing. I just took the app off their phones."

Moment of dumbstruck silence.

"You. Did. What." I had to steel myself against the cool and reproachful tone of her rebuke, being careful to hold on to the anger and righteousness I'd felt when speaking with Rei. This was something Rei needed and it was what was right.

"For christsake Luna, this was the one demand she had after I calmed her down. She didn't beg me for answers, she didn't ask questions I couldn't answer, all she wanted was to keep the others safe. This can't be about..."

I cut myself off, doing my best to take a deep breath. I needed to take it back to reality, not make it about hypotheticals. I couldn't have this turn into a fight about Luna's preconceptions. Or misconceptions rather.

I let the breath out slow and steady.

"It was the one demand she had. And it was all about keeping the others safe. we're doing this as a show of good faith." I explained, getting back on my original track.

"I hope you're not just doing this out of guilt. I know they didn't catch your hesitation Artemis but I did."

"My hesitation?" I asked, needing clarification.

"About not being able to answer Rei's questions. I pray you're doing this for the right reason... and not just because you're letting your emotions get a hold of you."

"No, I'm being pragmatic. Practical. We need Rei to help us, at least until the others are back on track, the shadows have grown stronger in the past few years and Minako and the others are out of practice. Someone will get hurt if they go out there without Rei. Possibly even die."

"I'm sorry but I don't like the idea of her being the only one with the app. What if..." I kept my expression stony, knowing that she was going to start questioning Rei again. But instead Luna stumbled over her words, trying to get them out before I started yelling again. The somewhat frantic urgency about her was giving me pause. "What if something happens to her? Or her phone? We can't be left blind to this."

Her voice was slightly pleading and it let me actually listen to her words. She wasn't saying that Rei couldn't be trusted, she was merely pointing out something that I'd forgotten. That Rei wasn't indestructible, wasn't infallible. I sighed, conceding the point.

"I'll make it so you can monitor the situation as well, give you limited admin capabilities. It will allow you to see what phones are online so that if, and only if, you see that Rei isn't responding you can take control of the situation. Does that work?"

"Yes." Luna breathed in relief.

"Good." I acknowledged, happy that she was finally allowing me to reason with her. I finally kicked off my shoes and tossed my jacket over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. "We good to go to bed?"

"Well, it seems like we're not angry with each other any more... So I'd say so." Luna agreed, bringing up one of the rules we'd had ever since the old world. We'd sworn never to say goodbye or goodnight to each other while angry and so far, we'd never broken that oath. We always resolved our disagreements before parting ways or sleeping... it was the result of living in a more dangerous time. We'd never known

"Brilliant. I'm fucking exhausted."

I opened my arms and she stepped into the embrace with no hesitation. I revelled in the moment for as long as I could before the words in my throat finally clawed their way out.

"Luna. I love you, more than anything, but do something like this again and I'll leave." I choked out.

"I..." Her arms tightened around me for a moment and I wondered if we were about to start fighting again. I prayed that we weren't. Then Luna exhaled, burying her face in my shoulder.

"Understood."

I turned my face into her hair, incredibly relieved that setting that particular boundary hadn't kicked off another argument or prolonged debate. She relaxed in my arms.

"I love you." I told her.


USAGI

At first I thought it was just the fact everyone was tired and consumed by their thoughts but even after Minako arrived things were unnervingly quiet. Ami was settled on the loveseat with a drink, her feet tucked under Makoto, while Minako and I had commandeered the sofa. Both of us were pointedly ignoring whatever had been going on between Artemis and Luna tonight.

Finally, after getting the sense that we were constantly going to avoid talking, I decided to ask the questions running through my mind.

"Did any of you know about this? What Rei was doing since... since we all left?"

"No." Came Minako's rigid response. "Not that at least; I knew she had contact with Beryl but not the rest of it. Not five years worth of..."

Her voice trailed off and she shook her head, looking to Makoto with the question clear in her gaze.

"No." Makoto muttered as she pinched at the bridge of her nose. "She's a bigger idiot than I thought."

As one we all turned to look at Ami. Her silence was answer enough – she had known. She let her gaze skirt away, taking a long drink from the wine in her hand before finally opening her mouth to reply.

"I figured it out a while ago." She explained. "And then when I confronted her about it Rei explained her actions to me. She did it for us, so we could go on and live for a time without disturbances. She had responsibilities here and decided to take this on as well. To stop us from staying behind. To stop us from leaving our dreams behind. She fought alone all this time for us."

"Maybe the stress is getting to her. Did you see her lose control tonight? I've never seen her like that before. She's obviously not right in the head at the moment." Makoto muttered, obviously trying to be flippant about it. We all cringed slightly when she missed the mark... mostly because she was saying what we were all thinking.

That Rei was going crazy.

"Well, you two were accusing her of being a traitor. And Luna seemed ready to physically confront her. I'm fairly certain she was just reacting to your hostility." Ami commented calmly, though her words had an edge to them. She very obviously wasn't responding to Makoto's words with agreement the way the rest of us had. Par for the course with her really.

"What, so you're on her side?" Minako asked, sounding appalled. I couldn't help but agree with the sentiment.

"There are no sides here." Ami said with a sigh, sounding quite annoyed with us. "There are people with information, Artemis, Luna, Beryl, and to some degree Rei. And then there's the rest of us. The question is what we're willing to do to get the information for ourselves. And for Rei."

"You can't just ignore the fact that she's been talking with Beryl." Minako said, her voice hard and indecipherable. I could feel the fear in her though, she was scared for Rei. No matter what it sounded like.

I reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Ami took another drink and set the empty glass aside before addressing the confrontation Minako offered up.

"I'm not ignoring it. I just believe it's likely that Rei's been doing what she always has... and that's trying to find a solution to our problems. Maybe we don't agree with her methods but she's been doing this for us." Ami explained calmly. Minako remained tense beside me.

Makoto gave a sigh, reaching for Ami's glass and filling it out of the bottle resting on the coffee table. She handed the glass back then she passed the wine over to Minako and I so we could top off our glasses. I was starting to feel that I should be following Ami's lead and soften the conversation with alcohol. She usually had the right idea.

"We're going to have to apologize to her, aren't we?" Was all Makoto asked.

"Only after she explains everything to us." Minako put in, her voice still rigid and unyielding, but before she slipped her hand out of mine to take the bottle of wine she returned the gentle pressure I'd applied.

"Maybe it's not her we need answers from. Some of what she was saying made sense. Do any of you know why were doing this?" Ami said and all thoughts of Minako's obvious distress fled for the moment.

"Those monsters were killing people, surely that's reason enough to get involved?" I asked, truly not understanding how Ami could even be asking that question; not when...

"But why are they attacking?" She prompted and my brain stuttered over it...

"Uh, sweetheart, are you missing the part about them being monsters?" Makoto apparently didn't have the same hang ups I did and I had to fight down the insane urge to laugh.

"If I recall correctly, we attacked the first ones because Luna and Artemis told us to." Ami said, cool and calm as she sorted through the knowledge and recollections available to her.

"They were terrorizing people." I put in, drawn back into the serious moment by my own memories of that first horrible fight. It, more than any of the others, kept me up at night. Ami kept her eyes on mine.

"But they weren't hurting them. That only happened after we attacked them. What if Rei's right? What if there's something Artemis and Luna aren't telling us?" Her voice was cautious. Hesitant.

"Then it's probably with good reason. I don't believe we're supposed to know everything. If that were the case, we would have started this whole thing with our memories of our past lives intact." Minako's voice cut in from beside me, breaking my eye contact with Ami. "There's a plan at work here, we just need to have faith in it. That's all it needs to work. Questioning Artemis and Luna gets us no where, we're on the same side and you need to remember that."

"Why can you say that for them and not believe that the same is true of Rei? She probably has good reason for her actions as well, even if she doesn't tell us about them." Ami sighed, meeting Minako's eyes. There was a tense moment between the two of them but Ami held her commander's gaze, refusing to let it go. After a second Minako closed her eyes and gave a sigh.

"Fine okay. You made your point. We let this go for now but... we keep an eye on her." Minako, turning her attention back to the rest of us.

"Only if we don't take Artemis and Luna at their word and watch them as well." Ami prodded. Makoto draped her arm across the back of their seat, letting her thumb casually stroke her partner's shoulder.

"I think we should still trust them." I put in, stepping back into the conversation. "Luna and Artemis I mean. They're family; they practically raised Minako and I."

"Like I said before, what about Rei? Isn't she deserving of our trust too?" Ami gritted out, seemingly wanting to pick a fight – but I couldn't tell if it was with me or Minako or even Luna and Artemis.

"I have to say I'm with Ami on this one... for the most part. I still think we should keep an eye on Rei." Makoto stepped in before Ami could continue. When her partner's gaze turned on her Makoto was quick to clarify. "But not because we don't trust her. I can't be the only one who's a bit worried about her."

Ami sighed and gestured for Makoto to continue as she leaned back in her seat, bringing the glass of wine back to her lips. Makoto's expression quirked upwards in a quick grin before it settled back into a more sombre one.

"She's kept this from us all this time. None of us know what she's gone through these past five years. We need to be there for her." Makoto said with a significant look in my direction, quickly making me remember my last discussion with her about Rei. Rei and Minako that is.

I frowned, seeing her point. She had been right in that we had needed to talk to Minako about what was going on but I had been right in that someone needed to talk to Rei. Just not about Minako it seemed.

"She did seem awfully upset tonight after you brought up how she dealt with those things. Luna showed us those newspaper articles about the casualties... do you think Rei blames herself for those deaths?" I acknowledged, avoiding the curious look on Ami's face when she caught my exchange with Makoto. With that Ami frowned, looking down at her glass.

"Of course she does." Ami murmured, her voice mildly exasperated. "She's Rei..."

"So are we agreed? Trust all three of them and try to show Rei our support?" Makoto prompted.

The others nodded in agreement, seeming some how more sombre than it had earlier. There was none of the anger, just apprehension.


REI

I was still fuming when I shut the front door behind me. I kicked off my shoes, tossed my jacket on the floor, and slammed my helmet down on the counter top

"Night not going how you planned?" A voice asked from behind me. I spun around, trying to fight down the fire that had already sprung to my finger tips. She might have scared the shit out of me but I didn't want to hurt her.

"Fuck." I hissed at Setsuna. "Did you steal my spare keys from Michiru or something?"

"Localized temporal distortion actually." I paused, turning to look at Setsuna just to make sure she wasn't joking. From anyone else I'd have called that a joke but Setsuna never really seemed the type.

"You used time to unlock my door." It wasn't a question but I felt like maybe it should have been. I huffed to myself, trying to divert my attention from the rage that was prickling below my skin.

"Cool party trick."

"Could say the same about you." Her gaze flicked down to my hands which were still rippling with flame. I concentrated a bit harder on extinguishing them, clearly I still wasn't as in control as I wanted to be. The earlier incident with the telephone pole seemed to have kicked off a habit of not keeping my emotions in check.

Once one hand was out I reached down and pulled out my pack of smokes, carefully lighting one before finally managing to extinguish the other.

"What do you want? Not that I don't love seeing you, but I'm really not in the fucking mood right now."

"That is exactly why I'm here now."

"Of course it is." I grumbled, gesturing to the living room. "If there's no getting out of this, you might as well have a seat."

"So what is it you want?" I asked, flopping down in one of the arm chairs as I brought my smoke to my lips. Setsuna sat down, not on the seat opposite as I had expected, but rather on the foot stool of my own chair.

"Your night didn't exactly go as planned."

"So you said." I muttered, Setsuna gave me a stern look.

"You're a bit of an ass when you're tired, you do know that right?" She asked primly but there was a hint of humour in her tone. I rolled my eyes taking a long drag from my cigarette before blowing it out in a steady stream.

"One of my more charming features." This time Setsuna actually smiled.

"Yes. It is."

I looked away from her upon seeing a fondness enter her eyes. Something about it vividly reminded me of Michiru and I couldn't stand to see that right now. Not when I knew I was letting everyone down. I hadn't been able to fix things tonight. And I was still struggling to keep a grasp on myself and my rage.

I was going to do nothing but disappoint everyone. I probably already had.

I sucked in a shaky breath, ignoring the way the embers were now dancing along the wrong end of my smoke. I flicked it into the tray on the side table, watching as the whole cigarette fell to ashes.

I looked back to Setsuna.

"Now seriously, why are you here? There's always a reason with you."

"Perhaps this time the only reason is because I know my friend is unsettled?" She offered up and I sorely wanted to believe her. But that wasn't how this worked.

It was never how this worked.

There as always something going on in the background, some root cause for her presence in my life.

I wasn't like Haruka, I didn't just get support from Setsuna. What I got from her was usually gentle course correction, guidance to keep me on the path. And right now?

Fuck the path.

It had never worked out for me anyway. Never in my life had my efforts to do the right thing worked. Not with my father. Not with Minako. I had an entire past worth of evidence to the contrary. Two pasts in fact.

I was not someone who got a free pass on anything.

"I have just about had it with this bullshit Setsuna." I warned. "I am trying to make this work but... When has anything ever gone my way?"

Setsuna remained silent, her eyes watchful but not showing any sign of what I'd seen in the others faces tonight. That hint of suspicion. That creeping thought of insanity. Of madness.

"So no, tonight did not go my fucking way." I clenched my hands into fists, reopening the barely healed crescents my fingernails had gouged out earlier. "They still won't give up anything. I tried reasoning with them. I tried asking..."

My voice trailed off, my thoughts consumed with the events of tonight. Every time I shut my eyes all I could see was the anger in Minako's. The disappointment.

"Do you really need to ask these questions?" Setsuna mused, her voice clear of inflection. I paused, my mind suddenly racing.

I didn't need to ask. Not when I could demand answers. I paused again. Or have someone else ask the questions...

Or maybe it wasn't even about asking or demanding answers. Maybe it was a trade?

I'd tried digging at Artemis and Luna tonight, attempting to antagonize them into giving up some information but that clearly hadn't worked. I tried asking outright for the information, letting Artemis know I didn't think we were getting the whole story. I'd done my best to wheedle information from the both of them, manipulate them into giving me some proof we could come together on this. But perhaps I was coming at it the wrong way... maybe I just needed to be less subtle with my strategy.

Maybe I needed to show my hand, or at least some of it, and see where the rest of the cards fell...

"You should go, I have work to do." I said crisply, getting to my feet. I was fairly certain I could feel Setsuna's disapproving gaze on me as she so clearly knew where my thoughts were headed.

There was no way she would approve of what I was about to do.

"Maybe you should get some rest, I've heard it helps. Especially now that some of the weight has been lifted from your shoulders." Setsuna advised as she rose from her seat. I still wasn't able to look at her, instead waving her off as I ducked into my office.

If she could show herself in, she could show herself out.

I had a lot of work to do tonight.


ARTEMIS

I was still half asleep as I groped for my phone, upon seeing Rei's name on the screen I answered it.

"Hey, Artemis. I think I figured something out but I need your help. I'm sending an address to your phone." Rei said as soon as I picked up. "And bring your equipment."

And then, almost before I had the chance to process anything... she hung up, leaving the dial tone echoing through my brain.

I fumbled my way out of bed, doing my best not to wake Luna. She'd had a long day at work yesterday and had been incredibly cranky even before we'd gotten Minako's call. There was no sense in dragging her out of bed for this, she needed her rest. It was the joy of being self employed, there was nothing stopping me from calling in sick tomorrow.

I hastily packed my laptop and other portable equipment into my shoulder bag before heading to the door. I glanced at my watch, it wasn't even four o'clock yet. I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket to call a cab – the urgency in Rei's voice made me want to avoid delay but I felt far to groggy and disoriented to even consider getting behind the wheel myself.

I scribbled a brief note to Luna and stumbled out the door, vaguely wondering how Rei managed to live like this, up and about at all hours of the day and night. I'd had two call outs tonight and was already suffering for it.

"What the hell are we doing here?" I asked, wrapping my coat more tightly around myself in an attempt to ward off the cold as I stepped out of the cab. "It's fucking freezing, Rei."

"I mapped out the incursions." Rei told me, ignoring my question and pursuing her own topic of conversation, which was fairly typical for her. Though, to be honest, this time I was caught off guard by her declaration, I didn't ever imagine that Rei would take the time to compile that information. Even I hadn't bothered.

"The recent ones?" I asked wondering where she had found the time to do this. There had been so many recently.

"No. All of them, including the ones we encountered before the others left. I had to dig through some old newspapers at the library to get that information but the rest I pulled off my phone." Rei replied. I looked over at her, there had been well over two-hundred incursions in the last five years... and before that I couldn't even remember how many there had been. Not to mention that recently, within the past month and a half, the appearances of the shadows had increased by a rather significant amount.

"And?" I asked her, curious as to what she had found out.

"And as far as I can tell, this warehouse is the focal point of all the activity; all incursions happen within a twenty-five kilometre radius, and within the last few months it's been within eleven. I expect that if we look in the last couple weeks the circle would be even smaller than that."

I looked at her in shock, wondering how long it had taken her to figure this pattern out. How long had she been trying to work this out, refining the process over time as more and more data became available to her?

A faint pang of guilt struck me, we had isolated her. This was probably what she did to fill her lonely hours – she'd sit there and obsess over this. I shoved that emotion down, replacing it with something more practical.

I had questions that needed answering.

"So why am I here?" I asked curiously, making a mental note to ask to see the raw data later on. Perhaps from the dates of the incidences I could create a model or formula to predict the time and place of all future appearances.

"Who else am I going to go to for STEM stuff? I mean the usual brain trust has been a bit busy with med school. Anyway, I want to know if there's anything special about this spot. Any odd energy signals. Whatever. I don't know what to look for, I figured you might." Rei replied with a shrug. "I mean, you did figure out how to trace those things in the first place."

For a brief moment Rei's eyes met mine and I could see the relief and gratitude in them, finding a way to track the creatures had made Rei's life infinitely easier. Then the moment passed and Rei continued her explanation.

"Anyway, if I'm right about this, the exact centre of this circle should be inside that warehouse." Rei said with a nod towards one of the darkened structures.

She was intelligent and knew to trust her instincts, and if she felt something was up... I was inclined to believe her. We could worry about bringing the others in on this later.

It was stuff like this that made me trust her, she was always thinking; looking deeper into things than she had to. She had always been like that. She wanted answers even if she didn't think she'd like what she found. I was just glad she was bringing me into this, I didn't want her to be alone in this.

"What are we waiting for then?" I asked, beginning to approach the warehouse. Rei followed behind me until we reached the door, then she stepped in front of me to open it. Probably trying to be careful just in case one of the shadows was here, somehow lurking undetected. I was equal parts annoyed by and grateful for the gesture. While I was confident in my technology and scientific acumen, I was mostly defenceless in this form, my powers hadn't exactly transferred in the same way that theirs had. And there always was a chance I had missed or failed to account for something.

Regardless, I stayed behind her as she eased the door open and slipped inside. After a bit she glanced back at me and nodded for me to join her.

The coast was clear.

I followed her inside, feeling a bit of anxiety and excitement rise up with in me. Now that Rei had given me a challenge; a problem that needed solving, I was eager to find answers. I pulled out my laptop, setting it down on one of the work benches and beginning to run diagnostics on the building. Rei leaned back against the workbench, watching what I was doing.

"Even if we don't figure out what makes this place so special, I should be able to take the groundwork you did and convert it into an algorithm to help us predict where they'll appear next. I mean we have a basic early warning system but with this information we might be able to plan our lives around these appearances. Give you time to get the others on track."

"So you think it will work?" Rei asked, shifting position – probably bored with watching me work, it was likely she was going to patrol the perimeter or do some investigations of her own. She always had been more attuned to these monsters than the others. An unfortunate side affect of death I'd wager.

"Yeah, just give me an hour or so. Rei, this is fantastic, I can't believe how much this will help us. We might never have to actually engage with these things ever again. We could just purify the area before the shades ever get a chance to appear."

With a grunt of acknowledgement Rei turned her attention to other matters and I got to work, my eyes focused on the computer screen trying to take in all the data Rei had gathered. My fingers flew across the key board, turning the raw information into something usable.

And then, out of the dark recesses of the warehouse, came a blur of movement and something crashed against my head. The pain was immediate and I could feel myself crumpling towards the floor as the darkness dragged me under.


REI

I watched Artemis carefully as he began to work. He didn't appear to think anything was off about my request to meet at this location. Mostly he just seemed relieved that I'd come up with a solution to their problem.

Not my problem of course, but theirs; the one they'd created and maintained to the detriment of everything else.

I waited for him to settle into his work, taking the time to secure the premises – assessing the entrances and exits until I was sure there were no issues. Upon my return Artemis was thoroughly engrossed in what was on his screen. Seemingly oblivious to my presence and actions.

Quietly I picked up the crowbar from its resting spot on the workbench, flipping the length of metal in my hand, carefully testing its weight.

It certainly wouldn't do to kill him.

Then I swung, bringing the metal bar into contact with the side of Artemis's head, and watched as he crumpled to the floor. I tossed the crowbar on to the floor as I took my cell from my pocket, dialing Beryl.

"I made my decision." I said as she picked up.

"If you want answers, meet me at warehouse fifteen on Old Quay. You'll want to bring the others. Make sure you're not followed." I continued, not waiting for her reply. "The gate will be open, drive right into the warehouse to park. I don't want to draw any attention to the place."


ARTEMIS

I awoke groggily with a headache pounding its way through my skull. I tried to bring a hand to my head but was stalled by the ropes wrapped around my wrists. I blinked, trying to banish the confusion from my mind as I focused in on my surroundings. I was alone, tied up, with no idea where I was.

I tried to roll my shoulders to relieve some of the tension that had appeared while I was out cold. The ropes restricted most of my movement but what little I had sent shock waves of pain to my head. I squinted, trying to keep my eyes from watering, which only seemed to make things worse as I felt a cut open on my head.

What the hell had happened? And where the hell was Rei?

A blinding light filled the room, causing me to close my eyes against the head ache that was worsening. Eventually my eyes had adjusted enough that I could open them.

I looked towards the doorway where the light was coming from. A figure was framed in the doorway, a shadowy outline of a person. I blinked, trying to clear the blood that was running down the side of my head. Slowly the figure settled into someone I recognized.

Rei.

Confusion filled me as she just stood there, watching me with an inscrutable gaze. There was something determined about her stance even though she was leaning against the door frame. She looked at ease with what was happening. She was comfortable.

"I asked nicely. You should have answered my questions." Rei said, quietly and everything she wasn't saying hit me full force.

She remembered everything that had happened, everything Queen Serenity hadn't wanted them to know. Rei was aware of it all... and she had decided that she needed to make a different choice this time around. She wasn't siding with the rest of us.

Rei had joined Beryl.

And with that, she turned her back on me and left the room. I hung my head, I was fairly certain I knew what was coming.

Rei was going to get her answers one way or another.

I knew from the past life that she would do anything to protect what she held dear... and this time, she saw me as an obstacle between her and her goal. I now realized that she had been giving Luna and I a chance to come clean with her, to let us have peace, but we hadn't taken her up on it.

She had been giving us a way out and we had ignored her... just as we had in the old world.

And to make matters worse, her reasons for doing this were perfectly understandable seeing how she remembered everything. We had betrayed her first. This was just cold, unfeeling revenge; something I hadn't believed Rei capable of. But we had betrayed her and there were bound to be unexpected consequences.

I imagined that this was just the beginning.

End Book Two

You can only hold a smile for so long,

after that it's just teeth.

- Chuck Palahniuk

AN: This chapter is dedicated to Dark-Key0... because the September 29th update really really didn't happen.

Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait, can't wait to hear your thoughts.