GREEN
"Mrs. Darcy, you are looking exceedingly handsome this morning."
"You look so handsome I can hardly stand it at the moment, Fitzwilliam, but I fear your handsomeness will be to your detriment, as I plan to torture you for the rest of the day."
"How so, Mrs. Darcy, and will this torture be literal or figurative?" replied Darcy. He could confidently assert that simply separating himself from his lovely wife for long enough to bathe and get ready would be torture enough. Unfortunately, it sounded like something even more unpleasant was in the offing.
"Literally, I fear. It is early in our marriage, and I thought it a good time to teach you it is foolish to leave me in charge of anything."
Darcy laughed heartily, gave his wife a good, long kiss. "Let the torture commence."
Elizabeth laughed, climbed out of bed, donned her dressing gown, and rang the mule caller. It only took a moment for Bates to appear as expected, but Darcy was surprised, and not entirely certain if he was pleased, to see his companion.
"Mr. Morton," he greeted his longtime tailor, adding ruefully. "I suppose my wife wishes me to look intimidating."
"That is my understanding, sir," Morton answered, not particularly put out by the assertion. He continued, "You have lost close to two stone, I should say. I have already made the more obvious adjustments, but Mrs. Darcy asked that I be – exacting."
Elizabeth pulled her husband aside. "Please do not be angry. I have no idea if I am trying to be effective or vindictive, but I very much want to be in control of this conversation. I fear you will need to be your haughtiest Master of Pemberley for about an hour."
Darcy chuckled. "Effective and vindictive are not the only possible adjectives we could use. I may settle on diverted."
Elizabeth laughed. "We shall have an hour in the coach to come up with something better. I fear you must sit up that long."
Darcy nodded, not looking forward to either the coach ride or the confrontation that was to follow it, but he was determined to do his best. With a resigned nod, he gave his wife one more squeeze of her hand and sent her off to her own toilette.
When Darcy entered his wife's sitting room an hour later, he thought that there was a reasonable chance he might survive Typhus only to be struck dead by his failing heart. His wife had neglected to mention that the tailor was not the only tradesman to receive their custom.
Elizabeth was standing regally in a new day dress that looked like nothing he had ever seen. The pattern was simple, but completely unique in his experience. The fabric was obviously expensive, but the accessories were basically non-existent. The cut was very different from anything he had ever seen, and the pattern very pleasing to the eye. The effect was stunning enough that he just stopped and stared like a green boy laying eyes on his first pretty girl.
With determined strides, he crossed the room and pulled her to him for a kiss that was not the least bit comforting, and was very happy when at the exact time his arms found their way around her waist, hers found their way around his shoulders, and she was crushing herself to him as if she could not possibly get close enough.
Their kiss went on for what felt like quite some time, and he finally said, "I vote we go back to bed and let the Bennets shift for themselves."
His lovely wife laughed, gave him one more quick kiss. "I suppose the dress meets with your approval."
It was obviously a rhetorical question since he was practically drooling, so he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "You, my dear, would look wonderful in sackcloth – but I must say this is better. You have been busy."
"Yes, well –" then she thought about what to say a moment, and finally continued, "It is amazing what you can accomplish with unlimited funds. The material and design come from somewhere in the orient. My uncle Gardiner imported the material, and a seamstress came over with it to try to establish herself here. To the best of my knowledge, I own the entire London supply, and our coffers are somewhat depleted."
Darcy laughed. "I should have guessed you would do something so smart."
"So vain, you mean," then looked somewhat shy or embarrassed, and continued, "I have spent my entire life in Jane's shadow with a critical mother. I wanted to look –"
She could not quite finish the sentence, and Darcy laughed. "I can assure you that the eldest Miss Bennet will feel the sting of jealousy that will not soon be forgotten in a few hours."
Elizabeth was still uncertain what she thought about Jane, but had to admit, to herself if nobody else, that having Jane feel inadequate, or contrite, or insufficient, or any other negative emotion would not be a terrible thing.
Elizabeth was feeling ambiguous about her sisters. On the one hand, she was still angry about how they had treated her. In fact, she was still blisteringly angry. On the other hand, entirely by happenstance, they all had been right. They could just as easily have been dead wrong, since they were just operating on an assumption, but they did happen to be right about her husband. It was quite the conundrum. Was the right answer from the wrong question, still right? Added to that, she had to wonder who was being served by anger and bitterness. Would it profit anyone if they got the retribution that she felt they deserved? She was still uncertain, and a lot depended on what they said and how they acted when the Darcys called on Longbourn.
Darcy kissed her once more, but detecting her agitated state of mind, he delivered a kiss of comfort. He wondered exactly how many kinds of kisses there were yet to be discovered. He was certain the pair could make a list of at least a half-dozen they agreed on, and maybe another dozen that they could argue about all night. With a chuckle, he thought that might well be a worthwhile exercise.
He said, "Not vain – smart."
Mrs. Darcy raised an eyebrow in question, so he continued.
"You will have to meet members of the ton soon, starting with some of my relatives. They are an entirely superficial lot, but this dress makes you look like you belong. It is cleverly done. Distinct enough to show you have your own fashion and need not follow the rest of the sheep. Elegant enough to show you need not engage in pretensions. You show your bravery and people will respect that. Buying all the stock will add to the alure, since nobody will be able to match you for a while. It is brilliant."
"All that from a simple dress," she asked in some confusion.
"Yes – all that from a dress. The dress would not matter if you could not hold your end of the conversation, but we both know that will not be a problem."
Elizabeth nodded, hugging him tighter for a moment.
Darcy said, "My father insisted that most people take your measure in the first minute, and it is nearly impossible to move them from that position."
Elizabeth laughed. "Yes. Difficult, but not impossible. I certainly did that with you."
Darcy smiled at the fact that she said it with a smile. "The key word there is nearly. I did not actually form any impression of you at all during that assembly, but I certainly left a bad impression with you."
Elizabeth sighed. "We are beyond that."
"I know, but I believe you have an innate sense of fashion that will serve us well."
She smiled. "Let us break our fast. We have much to do."
When the couple stepped out of the inn, Darcy saw a surprise that made him chuckle and squeeze his wife's hand tighter. Sometime over the course of breakfast, they had both been figuratively girding their loins for battle, so when they walked out of the inn, there were no stolen kisses, hands where polite society might frown, or anything else to indicate they were a young couple in love. Instead, they were so proper nobody would even recognize them.
In the courtyard, he saw a chaise and four, with the Darcy crest. It was his largest and newest carriage, as he almost never used four horses. The coach was cleaned and polished enough that it practically hurt his eyes to look at it. His wife had obviously leased, probably at enormous expense, four white horses that looked so identical they could have been the same horse. The two outriders had two large, identical, black stallions. All the grooms were wearing livery so heavily starched you could cut cheese with it.
He just laughed, and quietly said, "Pretension suits you, my dear," while squeezing her hand in approval.
She laughed. "I want every advantage and …"
She seemed to not quite know how to finish the sentence, so he helpfully said, "… you want to show them that you have succeeded, and you are not to be trifled with."
She sighed. "I do not know if this obscene display of hubris is a strategic effort to improve our odds of success, or it is a childish act of petty revenge."
"It can be both."
She smiled. "Let us go. I know your strength will flag later, so I want you to try to rest in the coach. I have arranged blankets and bricks. It is not far, and I want you looking intimidating when we arrive."
He chuckled. "I will do my best. Perhaps you could work on making yourself less distracting."
With a laugh, she allowed her husband to hand her into the carriage, and with a shout, they were off.
Elizabeth had no idea what she felt when she saw her sisters peering out of the window of the drawing room, and then quickly dashing back to make some attempt to sit decorously like some semblance of proper young ladies. With Lydia there, she would have given two to one on a fight between her and Kitty on some arbitrary subject before they settled down. As it was, she just had no notion of how they would be received.
She had to admit that her husband looked both devastatingly handsome and extraordinarily fearsome, and she made certain to let him know as he handed her down from the carriage.
Offering his arm, he whispered. "Courage, my love," and led her towards the house.
Mrs. Hill gave her the biggest smile Elizabeth thought she had ever seen, and Elizabeth whispered 'all is well' to the old housekeeper who had been about half-mother to her.
The entered the drawing room to find the entire family, sans Lydia for obvious reasons, and surprisingly, including Mr. Bennet, who was doing his best to look formidable (with limited success).
Having discussed the matter on the road and deciding to just get the miserable chore over, she said, "Mr. Bennet – we are here to discuss my sisters."
Mrs. Bennet did not waste any time, saying, "See here, Lizzy. You will not be allowed to run on in this manner. You always were a headstrong stubborn –"
Mrs. Bennet sounded like she could go on all day, but something in the way her daughter stared at her, like a hawk eyeing a tasty hare made her wind down to nothing, eventually.
She said, "Mrs. Bennet, I will remind you that I have nothing further to say to you."
"You could at least thank me. You seem to be very high and mighty now, but you would have thought I beat you when I arrange –"
Too late, she realized that she had just admitted to the fact that her 'compromise' was deliberate.
Darcy could see the jaw working on his wife and thought it might be best to distract her to avoid violence.
He said, "Mrs. Bennet – forgiveness does not come easily for people who have been wronged as my wife and I have. As you can tell, we have resolved our differences, but it was a very near thing. We were a matter of less than half a minute from ruin and despair of the acutest kind. I must warn you that I will not tolerate any disrespect of my wife – ever."
"I never …" she started to say.
Darcy cut her off. "Whatever you intend to say now, I suggest you keep it to yourself."
She said, "Stubborn girl – you have no compassion for …"
Much to Darcy's surprise, Elizabeth stomped the floor and actually yelled, "You are right! I do not have the slightest compassion for your entirely imaginary nerves! Now shut up!"
For the first time, one of Mrs. Bennet's fits of nerves ended abruptly, while everyone in the room just stared in silence, watching Elizabeth open and close her fist in rage as if she was just itching to strangle something, while her jaw worked back and forth to where her husband thought she might break a tooth.
Wanting to get the miserable chore over with, Darcy jumped into the breach. He saw Mr. Bennet smirking, apparently enjoying the debacle, which filled him with rage to match his wife's.
Instead of yelling as his wife did, he spoke softly enough that everyone would have to strain to hear him.
"Mr. Bennet – while we would ordinarily retire to discuss this privately, I can safely say that I never intend to have another private conversation with you – ever. The only reason I am here is because my wife has a dozen times as much compassion for her sisters as they deserve, and one hundred times as much as you do. I will not allow you to continue as you are."
Bennet lost the smirk. "The disposition of my daughters is none of your business. I will not be talked down to in my own home."
Darcy just quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, you will."
Bennet started to speak again, but Darcy held up his hand. "Give me a moment to say my peace, and you can return to your own miserable existence."
Bennet practically spit. "Say it and get out."
Elizabeth said, "We had an agreement in December, Mr. Bennet. You are not only failing to act as a gentleman should, or as a father should, but you are not even honoring our agreement."
Bennet laughed a bit, either accidentally or deliberately raising his daughter's hackles. "No, you simply negotiated a bad agreement. Do not blame me for your sloppy thinking. We agreed that you would marry Mr. Darcy, or one of your sisters would marry Mr. Collins. I said nothing about the rest of this pack of silly girls. It is not my fault you assumed something that is not true."
Elizabeth growled. "I assumed that at least one of my parents had some honor. It is not a mistake I will make again."
"Did you come here just to hurl insults at me, or do you have something else to say."
Darcy, seeing his wife about ready to engage in violence, said, "Mr. Bennet, you are a moderately intelligent man. How do you think you will prosper if taken to the courts by Mr. Collins, assuming that said gentleman has essentially unlimited funds, a solid connection to an Earl, and a patron who is so blisteringly angry he would happy spend ten, twenty, fifty thousand pounds to ruin you."
Bennet gulped, but then angrily said, "What, exactly will he be bringing suit over?"
Darcy said glibly. "I am not an attorney, but I have yet to see an entail that was handled properly. Are you absolutely certain you still have everything your father left? Have you all the silver and items of plate? Do you still have all the books? Do you even have an accurate inventory? Have you maintained the fields and the tenant cottages as specified? I strongly suspect you do not, and that you thought it would never come up until you were conveniently dead. I can assure you that I can make you long for that state."
Feeling less confident, Bennet said, "Are you convinced the courts will take such a frivolous suit?"
Darcy growled. "Mr. Bennet, you need to understand your situation. I would consider Croesus a moderately wealthy man. I am nephew of an earl and a judge. What do you think?"
Bennet deflated, growled in anger. "Someday, Mr. Darcy, you will have daughters and you will know –"
Darcy cut him off, saying, "Someday, I will most certainly have daughters, and they will be properly educated, properly dowered, properly introduced to proper gentlemen, whom I will properly vet and chaperone, and they will know their parents are honorable and trustworthy. I will know, but my knowing will be a very different thing."
Elizabeth could see her husband working his way up to a fit, and she could also see that there was nothing but a burning ball of anger holding him upright. She wanted to let him sit, but judged he was good for another few minutes.
Bennet said, "I suppose you did not come here without a plan. You have shown me your stick – show me your carrot."
Elizabeth wanted to scream, seeing that almost nothing seemed to dent either of her parents.
She ignored her parents for the moment, and turned to her sisters, saying, "Jane – Mary – Kitty – Lydia told me what is happening in this house. All is not forgiven and forgotten – and it may not be for some time. However, having been forced to roll the dice myself and just barely surviving the ordeal, I am unwilling to allow any of my sisters the same. What say you?"
Everyone looked to Jane, who said, "We have not gotten as desperate as you were Lizzy – yet. I do feel like we all owe you a big apology but saying it at this point would rob it of its meaning, since we are effectively supplicants on your charity. Make no mistake though …"
With that, she looked over at her father and continued, "… I speak for all my sisters. We will not be marched to the alter. Our family's reputation barely survived Mrs. Darcy's wedding. I can assure you that it will not survive another attempt."
Bennet said, "What do you have to threaten us with?"
Jane just shrugged noncommittally, then said, "I am Jane Bennet. I am the cordial one. I am the honest one. I am the girl everyone likes but nobody wants to marry. I am the one who has been watching gossip flow through this house for decades. I am the one who knows how it works, and you may take me at my word – if you continue this path, I will ruin you. You will not be able to show your face in Meryton again. You will beg Mr. Collins to come take over Longbourn and send you some pittance to live on."
Elizabeth gasped in surprise, then looked at Jane and wondered where in the world such a temper had come from, and whether she could depend on it being sustained.
"That is the most unforgiving speech," said Elizabeth. "that I ever heard you utter. Good girl!"
Her husband chuckled along with her, and then both turned to Mr. Bennet, who looked fit to be tied. With a growl, that gentleman said, "I suppose that gives you one more stick at your disposal, Mr. Darcy. Once again, I ask where the carrots are."
Darcy turned to the sisters and asked, "Do all three of you wish to escape, or would you prefer to remain in your home with me enforcing your parent's compliance?"
Mary, surprisingly spoke up, saying, "How could you do that, Mr. Darcy?"
He looked at her. "With whatever means is required. I might break the lease on Netherfield and buy it. I might station a few footmen to live just outside the estate and escort you everywhere. And of course, making your parents' lives supremely uncomfortable can be assumed."
Mary, surprisingly, laughed at that. "You are not at all what I thought you to be, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth was surprisingly sanguine when her husband turned about a quarter of his smile to Mary. "Perhaps, Miss Mary – we are, none of us, quite what others expected."
Elizabeth took his arm. "You certainly were not, husband."
She wondered if showing a bit of her happiness to her parents was strategically wise or not, but, right at that moment, she really had no choice in the matter.
Mary said, "I think I can speak for all us. We would leave this madhouse if we could."
Mrs. Bennet wailed. "Leave – Leave – It is not to be borne."
Bennet snapped, "Oh, please, silence yourself Mrs. Bennet. Mr. Darcy, I ask once again. What is your plan. You did not have that coach polished for a week just to come in here and chastise me, as diverting as I am certain that activity is to you."
Elizabeth wanted to snap at the man, but then she realized that was his aim. Her father seemed to only be driven by either indolence or vindictiveness. He thought angering her would cause her to make a mistake – again.
She said, "Here is our offer. We will take your daughters to town and ensure that they are suitably wed. They will live with us or have an establishment with a companion. The younger two will go back to the schoolroom with my sister until they are ready to be out. You will pay for it."
Bennet started to speak, but Darcy overrode him, saying, "I am certain you thought all life's problems would just be solved for you with no trouble or expense, but that is not the way of it. You have squandered your income for decades. It is time to pay the debt. I will subsidize my sisters in law, but you will both sign over your book collection to me, to be collected on your death, and you will contribute half of your income to repaying the debt."
Mrs. Bennet started to wail, but Mary shushed her like a misbehaving child, and surprisingly, the matron quieted.
Elizabeth thought her father was almost certain to take the deal. For her own part, she thought he was underestimating how annoying Mrs. Bennet was going to be for the next twenty or thirty years with no real occupation, but that was his problem. She could see him doing the sums in his head, trying to work out how much port and how many books he would be able to afford.
Her husband stood tall and straight, though she could see that he was likely to collapse in a heap soon. She thought it a very good thing that she had the ambulance coach follow behind, and it was presently probably sitting at the Meryton Inn.
Mrs. Bennet said, "You cannot possibly be considering –"
"Quiet," Mrs. Bennet, he said, then continued, "Fine, you win. I will give you £1,000 per annum. I am certain I can increase my income somewhat."
Darcy said, "If this was my estate, it would be earning £3,000. If you like, I will send you my steward for a few weeks to advise you, but beyond that, you need to grow up and take your own responsibility."
He had no idea why he offered that olive branch. In the end, he reckoned it did not matter. Right or wrong; good or bad; the Bennets had raised a daughter whom he loved more than life itself. Even if it was accidental, he did feel he owed them something for that.
Bennet finally nodded, and Darcy said, "I have things for you to sign."
Expecting Mr. Bennet to drag him back to his bookroom for another bout of yelling, Darcy was surprised when he said, "Put them there on the table."
When Darcy did so from a valise that Elizabeth had carried in, Bennet signed every page without even looking at the documents, then turned without a word, presumably to crawl back into his cave.
Elizabeth said, "Pack your trunks. I have a maid and some footmen waiting in Meryton. I must get my husband back home, as he has been deathly ill, so you will need to take your own leave. The coach will be back for you in an hour. Be ready! You will not see me until tonight, or maybe tomorrow, but do not worry. All is well."
With that, she took her husband's arm and helped him to leave the house of her youth that would never again be a welcoming place. She did not bother taking leave of either of her parents and wondered how many years it would take until she could not maintain her anger anymore.
With nary a backward glance, they left Longbourn, and she watched the road to Meryton that she had walked so often. She could remember chasing Lydia and Kitty, chastising them every moment as they went hunting for officers. She could remember walking with Mr. Collins, on their way to meet the charming and despicable Mr. Wickham, back in the days when she thought him a good man and her husband a beast. She looked to the left, and saw the peak of Oakham Mount, that she would likely never climb in her life again, unless it was to later bring her children to see the land of her youth, (just so they could be bored to death with her stories).
Gradually, as the tensions of the confrontation left her, (helped in no small part by her husband kissing the back of her neck without even asking for permission), those memories gradually faded and were replaced with happier ones. Instead of Kitty and Lydia bickering over officers, she remembered four-year-old Kitty running after three-year-old Lydia, picking her up every time she fell, kissing away her hurts, and making the world all better. She saw Jane, first as the older sister everyone looked up to, then the beautiful sister who her mother boasted about day and night, then the sister of disappointed hopes, having endured seven years of her beauty being more of a hindrance than a help. Through all that, she saw the sister who had been a confidant, and the closest person in the world to her, except for one unfortunate incident. She wondered if she would ever forgive Jane for making a terrible mistake in a moment when she saw her own life crumbling. She saw Mary when – well, Mary was always Mary, but maybe she would be different in future, she thought with a laugh.
When they reached Meryton, she decided to forget about her sisters for the time being. She had spent the absolute minimum time in Longbourn, and fully expected to never return. Of course, she was becoming aware that never was a very long time, and that she might one day relent – but not anytime soon.
When they reached Meryton for the last time, she looked out happily at the street and saw all the neighbors. She wondered if she could distinguish the ones that knew her all their lives and gave her the benefit of the doubt, from those who had known her all their lives and jumped on the latest gossip like a dog on a bone. They were all staring at the carriage in wonder, and Elizabeth decided she did not need to make one last Bennet spectacle. She waved to the driver of the ambulance coach on the way by and let him follow her a mile outside of Meryton to change coaches.
By the time they got her husband into his comfortable bed, she found herself exhausted by the ordeal, so she followed him in slumber five minutes later. It was not enough time for even a single page of the Kama Sutra. She did not mind – they had their whole lives to finish it.
~~ Finis ~~
