Jay was bored today. Zane was updating, and he'd just gotten home from Ed and Edna's workshop, where he'd had lunch and helped work on some of Ed's inventions. Now it was almost dark, and Jay had nothing to do. Which was why he'd decided to raid Dareth's mansion… again.
For the third time in the past two weeks, Jay hopped in his car and drove to the mall that was about a mile from the mansion. He hadn't decided what he would take this time, but he knew that he didn't want it to be anything of value. If he was looking for something of value, he would go anywhere but Dareth's mansion.
He parked his car in the parking lot, got out, and turned in the direction of Dareth's mansion. "Now I just gotta run to the mansion!" said Jay to himself.
Jay ran for about 5 minutes, then suddenly stopped and panted. How was he tired already? He could stay up until one in the morning without even yawning, but he did pull an all-nighter last night. Well, Dareth's mansion could wait. Jay needed to get to Starbucks.
Lucky for Jay, there was a Starbucks within walking distance from where he was, which was a middle of a cow pen.
"Mooooo," said the cows.
"Haha. Yes. Moo," replied Jay nervously. If there was one thing he was afraid of, it was cows. But they usually left him alone when he came this way.
"Moooo."
Jay lept out of the cow pen and walked to the Starbucks. Once he got there, he ordered a venti frappucino with a strawberry smoothie base, two pumps of caramel, three espresso shots, and topped with whipped cream and a caramel drizzle, grabbed the cup, and ran out the door, forgetting to pay.
Or did he forget to pay?
Splash!
That was the sound of paint hitting Jay in the back.
"GET BACK HERE AND PAY FOR YOUR COFFEE!" shouted the barista. She was armed with a bunch of water balloons filled with paint in stead of water.
Jay sighed, he would be getting away with free coffee this time. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a ten dollar bill, which he quickly folded into a paper airplane and threw towards the barista.
Paint or no paint, Jay was going to make that run on Dareth's mansion. It would be good practice for when he was going for a more serious robbery.
With his coffee in hand, he jogged the rest of the way to the mansion. Standing outside, he took note of where all the lights were on so he wouldn't run into any trouble.
"Mooooo."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! DON'T DISTURB ME I'M TRYING TO ROB THIS PLACE!" Jay clamped his hands over his mouth. Oops. Well, there was nothing he could do now, except maybe kill the cow that followed him and turn him into a steak. And a burger. And stuff it in some dough to make a cheap imitation of Mister Chen's puffy potstickers.
That was it! Jay knew how much Dareth loved those puffy potstickers. He was going to steal those from Dareth. And it would make dinner.
"Thanks, little- er, big cow!" he whispered.
"Mooooo."
Jay ran to the side of the mansion and started climbing up the walls. The best way to enter a house was through a second story window. Because what idiot would climb all the way up there?
He hung onto a ledge, and started to pry open a window when he heard a song play.
Jump up, kick back, whip around, and spin! And then you jump back do it again!
Jay's ringtone! Jay groaned. He'd forgotten to silence his phone. He fumbled for his phone in his satchel and checked who was calling him. It was Edna. Oh no, he had to answer or he would hear about it for the next week. He sighed and answered the phone.
"Hi, Edna, what's up?"
"Jay, honey, you left your new Starfarer poster at our workshop again," said Edna.
"Edna, for the last time, I don't leave the Starfarer posters on accident, Dad forced me to bring them with me to give to you." Jay's grip almost slipped and he let out a cry.
"Are you okay? What was that?"
Jay stuck his phone between his head and his shoulder and hoisted himself up onto the roof so he wasn't in danger of falling any second. "Oh, nothing, I just stubbed my toe."
"Okay, well, come by tomorrow and you can pick up that poster, I'll make you some cookies!"
"Edna, you can keep the posters." Jay needed to end this call or his cover would be blown. "Oh no, my, uh, teacher's cousin is calling me, I've gotta pick this up, bye!" He ended the call after Edna had said goodbye, too.
"Phew, good thing I didn't get caught," he whispered to himself. He pried open the window and slipped in.
He quietly made his way to the kitchen, hiding in the shadows. In the hallway leading to the kitchen, Jay caught sight of a big poster of a new movie that his dad and another actor called Morro were starring in. The Onnceller. Morro was playing the lead villain, the Onneceller. His dad, naturally, was playing the lead hero, Theodore Wagons.
Jay did not like the sound of that movie.
Once he made it to the kitchen, he started looking around for all the puffy potstickers. He knew that he would have some, Dareth was famous for always having puffy potstickers at hand. When he was searching the fridge, someone came into the room.
"Who are you?" he asked. Oh, it was the butler, Buttler.
"Um… security guard?" said Jay. He was tired and holding a coffee, surely nothing would go wrong.
"Oh, good. Be on the lookout. We heard someone scream that they were going to rob this house outside, and we believe it might be Blackout. For some reason he keeps targeting us. And he doesn't even take anything of value! Once he stole all the toothbrushes and rubber ducks! Everyone had bad breath for days! And I lost my precious Wubby Bubbles!" Tears started to well in Buttler's eyes. "Showering was never the same again."
Wubby Bubbles was currently sitting on a shelf in Jay's room where he kept his favorite things that he stole.
"Okay, sir." said Jay.
"Oh, and reminder, no coffee on duty. I know, it's ridiculous, but one time a security guard got high on caffeine and accidentally blew up the front lawn." Buttler turned and left.
Jay looked around in the kitchen a little more until he found the puffy potstickers. He mad his way to the front door and ran back towards his car. He had been running for less than a minute before he heard Dareth scream.
"NOOOO! I NEED MY PUFFY POTSTICKERS!"
Jay took a bite out of one of the ones in his bag. Delicious. He could see why Dareth loved them so much. But he would always prefer pizza.
