I am not supposed to feel this way.

That is what I think when I am alone. I am not supposed to have these feelings, I am a child born of the earth and blessed by the gods. It was by the divine grace of someone else that I even exist today. I was raised to be a warrior, to have no fear, to be the best, to lead my fellow Amazons against the gates of Tartarus.

It was not even supposed to be this way. It was by sheer accident that the aircraft crashed on Paradise Island, and it was by the consequence-free curiosity of a young headstrong teenager investigating the wreckage and its strange passenger that I even got to where I am now.

"Curiosity got the cat", I smiled to myself, thinking of Bruce and Selina's unique relationship. As far as I am concerned it is the epitome of what Man's world would call a 'dysfunctional situation'. However, I am one to talk. It was not supposed to be like this, I was not supposed to feel the way I do about him. I am a a warrior, I am a diplomat, a force directed by the divine, and yet I am still a woman, a woman in love with a man who does not love her back. It is the style of the films in the world of the patriarch, the damsel in distress worried if the high school jock likes her or not. It is pathetic, I am not eighteen and naive anymore. I am a woman and I am in love, I should be able to just tell him.

Why is it so hard?

Kal-El. My Superman. My weakness. So many dreams and sleepless nights...

Did I ever tell you that I ruined it? Our only chance to be together. He would probably tell you he did, him and that damned Kansas charm, always so selfless, so noble. Why could he not be just another chauvinistic salivating barbarian who I could easily dismiss when he looked at my chest. Why did he have to always look into my eyes? Why could I not look away? His striking eyes made me believe he was a child of Poseidon the moment I saw him, but it was his gentleness and carefree spirit that made me know he could not have the blood of one of my gods...he was nothing like any of them. He managed to shame even the Olympian Pantheon, not for his handsome face or chiseled features, but because somehow the farm boy had more heart and kindness in him than all of the divine combined. I have faith in him.

He was always frustrated by his given title of Superman, in fact I do not believe I have ever heard him refer to himself by that mantle. The celluloid films shout out in my ears 'This looks like a job for Superman!' But in my heart all I see is Clark floating there and quietly whispering "It's why I'm here".

We had barely known eachother when he swooped in and kissed me for the first time. Myself, still the naive mythical princess, Him, the starstruck bashful child of the stars. We were in our youth, and he took a moment to just be a boy and kiss a girl that he liked. It lasted all of a few seconds, my eyes wide and pupils dilated both with shock and several emotions that I still do not understand to this day. Then he pulled away and like a child who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, placed his hand on the back of his neck and started stumbling over his words, about how "Maybe it was better if we stay friends". I remember silence and then tripping over my own words as I agreed. In all the moments I have heard him speak since then, I have never again heard his tone waver like it did in that instance. Why could I not understand then? We were both naive, but I should have tried to savor it. I have played it over in my head time and time again, and it still frustrates me. He was a fool. I am a fool.

Kal knows me to have love in my heart for the world, and to have hope like him for a better tomorrow...but that is not all I want. I am a woman. I am a woman in love with a man who only sees her as his best friend. We spent one thousand years in Asgard together, fighting side by side, and he still never took the moment to share with me. I want my moment, I want my chance. I am an Amazon and I will take what I want when it is given to me. There it is, the anger at this whole situation, all this power in my hands, the strength to bend steel like paper, to flatten a mountain with my foot, and all of it useless to me right now. All of the gifts given to me and no practical use for them. I am not even sure if Kal sees me as a woman anymore. I am the best friend, the teammate, the warrior at his flank, and he at mine. Why is it so hard?

I am Diana. Wonder Woman. The Amazon Princess...and I am in love.

I am not supposed to feel this way and I have never felt so lost.