A/N: Anything you recognize below is taken straight from GoF. I try my best to summarize or add my own voice to things because I hate copying directly from the book, but in some cases it is necessary.
June 24th, 1995
I'd launched myself past Ginny, Fred and George as if my body had been clicked in to auto-pilot. I was pushing students who had filtered in to the stairways out of my way, vaguely aware that I had knocked a small first year down. I heard Sirius say, "Molly, you keep a handle on Hollyn – don't let her come down to the field." He followed right on my heels as we frantically made our way down the stairs. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, we jumped the fence and landed on the moist grass below, rushing over to Harry who was clutching the lifeless body of Cedric Diggory.
We were cut off, however, by Minister Fudge, who was demanding that his Aurors keep a line of separation between spectators who had flooded the field, and the champions. Sirius was chest to chest with a particularly stern looking Auror, shouting "Martins, I am your superior! Let me pass! That's my son!"
"Technically," Martins said smugly. "I am your superior. Seniority doesn't count when you spent more time in Azkaban than you did on the force. You're not on duty right now anyway, and I have my orders from the Minister for Magic himself."
I pulled Sirius away from Martins, not needing him to end up in trouble on top of everything else. Our view was somewhat obstructed, but I did see that Dumbledore had made his way to Harry and was crouching, talking to him. I felt a surge of anger that Dumbledore was there with my kid, while Sirius and I were being held back by a wall of Aurors and other ministry officials. I saw Amos Diggory force his way through the wall of Aurors by sheer force of will, and I pulled on Sirius's arm leading him in that direction. We had to weave through the crowd, and by the time we had pushed past the Aurors, Harry was gone.
Amos was crouched over Cedric, sobbing. I had to avert my eyes in to Sirius's shoulder, the teenager's cold, lifeless eyes sparking a dread in me that I had never known before becoming a mother. Sirius wrapped his arm around me, distracted as he looked around for where Harry had gone.
"Dumbledore," He snapped, glaring down at Dumbledore who was still crouched next to Cedric. "Where is Harry?"
Dumbledore looked up, confused, as if he hadn't realized that Harry was gone. He looked around sharply identifying who was still left in the crowd. "It can't be?" He said, almost to himself.
Dumbledore stood sharply and said, "Minerva, Severus – with me."
"Where is he?" Sirius asked again, falling in to step behind Dumbledore who had already taken off at an extremely brisk pace for a man of his age. "Dumbledore! Where is Harry?"
There was a desperation to Sirius's tone that Dumbledore picked up on. "You two will wait in my office." He said it as if there was no way we would disagree with him – an order.
"Like hell we will!" Sirius roared, indignant.
"You are too emotional," Dumbledore explained patiently, though bluntly, nearing the castle doors. "You will act too rashly. You will wait in my office."
"I don't know who the fuck you think you're talking to – " Sirius said hotly, his temper in full force now.
I looked at Minerva, who's face was as white as a ghost. "You'll make sure he's safe?" I asked her, ignoring Dumbledore altogether.
"With my own life, if necessary," she pledged seriously.
"Okay," I said, nodding. "Sirius, we're going to wait in Dumbledore's office." We had reached the point where we would split off – Dumbledore getting off on the second floor, and Sirius and I continuing upstairs to Dumbledore's office on the seventh floor.
"Addison," Sirius protested, feebly.
"Go," I said sharply to Minerva and Severus, who had paused upon seeing our hesitation – Dumbledore, to his credit, was already halfway down the second floor corridor. Severus nodded once and turned on his heel, followed a moment later by Minerva.
I turned to Sirius, who was glaring after them with a look of longing on his face. "Sirius, I can't do anything to help Harry right now. My head is throbbing, I feel as though my entire body is made of lead, and I will kill whoever is behind all of this. And so would you – neither of us need to end up in Azkaban, right? Please – come upstairs with me; Minerva will make sure Harry is okay."
Sirius considered me for a moment, looking at the pleading expression on my face before relenting and turning the rest of the way up to the headmaster's office. We spent a couple of minutes going through all of the different candies that we knew, before the office finally opened up upon the shout of "Fudge Flies!"
Sirius stormed upstairs and sat down childishly in the armchair in front of Dumbledore's desk, tapping his foot anxiously. I paced around the room, subconsciously placing a hand on my stomach as though the baby could feel my comforting hold. The anxiety was overwhelming, but I knew that I had done the right thing. Harry didn't need Sirius and I barging in, hyped up on nerves and making him feel more upset than he already was. Sirius and I needed to calm down and wait for Harry, so that we could address him with a level head. If there was one thing Dumbledore was good at, it was keeping a level head in the middle of an emergency.
Finally, when I couldn't take the waiting anymore, I slid in to Sirius's lap and wrapped my arms around him. Sirius didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around my back and start rubbing consolingly. He leaned his head on my shoulder, kissing my bare shoulder once. I realized that I must have taken off my jacket and left it somewhere at some point. I shuddered, suddenly aware that I was freezing.
"He's okay," I said to Sirius. "I know he is."
"I know, love," Sirius agreed, holding me tighter. "I know he is, too."
We didn't say anything for a long time after that; only the gently squawking of Fawkes disturbed the almost serene silence, providing a comforting reminder that we were not alone. Finally, after what felt like several hours, we heard the sound of the staircase moving, indicating that someone was coming up. I stood up quickly, blood rushing to my head, and turned to stare at the door expectantly. Behind me, I heard Sirius do the same.
Harry came in first, followed by Dumbledore. I stood like a deer in headlights, shocked by the dazed expression on Harry's face. I didn't launch myself at him like I wanted to, instead taking him gently by the hand and leading him to the second armchair. Harry sat down shakily, his knees almost giving way beneath his lanky frame.
"Harry," Dumbledore began in a gentle voice, having sat down behind his desk. "I'm going to ask you to tell me what happened tonight."
"Surely, that can wait until tomorrow? Let the boy get some rest?" Sirius protested, looking between Harry and Dumbledore with a dumbstruck expression on his face.
Dumbledore looked at Harry with the most tender expression I had ever seen from him. "Harry, if I thought it would benefit you to put you into an enchanted sleep, where you would have no dreams, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, I feel that you have witnessed something tonight that will require immediate action, and I'm afraid we do not have that time to delay. Now tell me, please, what happened after you left that maze?"
Harry took off, talking non-stop for nearly the next fifteen minutes straight. When he said that the cup had been a portkey, I had gasped. When he said that Wormtail was waiting for him in the graveyard and killed Cedric, Sirius fell back in to his armchair shakily. When he said that Voldemort returned, my entire body turned to ice and I grasped desperately behind me for Sirius, who caught my hand in his own and pulled me down on to his lap.
"And then my wand connected with Voldemort's, and they connected through this…golden light?" Harry said slowly, looking to Dumbledore for answers.
"Priori Incantatum," Dumbledore said.
"The reverse spell effect?" Sirius asked.
"Yes."
"But why would that happen?" I asked.
"You see, Harry – you and Voldemort share a great many things. Your talent for speaking to snakes, for example, that you both grew up without your parents, and…the core of your wand. Your wands both contain a feather from the same phoenix – Fawkes, as a matter of fact. Ollivander let me know at once you bought your wand that you had bought the brother wand to Voldemort's."
"What does sharing a core with his wand have to do with anything?" Harry asked, confused.
"Wands were not meant to fight their brothers. When their owners force them to, a unique effect takes place; am I right in thinking you saw Cedric Diggory again tonight?"
"Yes! He came out of the wand, and then an old man, and Bertha Jorkins!"
"They came out of his wand?" Sirius asked, scrunching his nose at the thought.
"Yes – shadows of their former selves," Dumbledore confirmed.
"Cedric asked me to take his body back. And then…" Harry continued, almost shyly. "I saw my parents."
Dumbledore smiled kindly at Harry, what looked like pity shining in his eyes. "And what did these shadows do, Harry? After they spoke to you."
"My dad told me to run. That they would linger for a moment – and they did. They swarmed Voldemort and gave me the time to…the time to…reach Cedric" Harry said the last bit with a huge sigh, and I got up, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"That's enough," I demanded. "Harry has given you all that he can tonight. He needs rest now, Dumbledore."
"I agree," Dumbledore said. "To the hospital wing, Harry. I don't want you going back to the dormitories tonight."
"We'll go with you, son," Sirius said, getting up out of his own chair.
"I believe you will find the Weasleys waiting anxiously for you there," Dumbledore added, getting up and ushering us out of his office. We walked to the hospital wing in silence, Sirius guiding Harry with a hand on his shoulder. We entered the room to a squeal, and Molly rushing over to greet us. To my surprise, it was Dumbledore who held his hand up first and said, "Molly, I know that you are anxious to know what has happened, but Harry has just detailed the entire ordeal to Sirius, Addison and myself. I must ask that you not ask him any questions tonight, and allow him to get some sleep. Poppy!"
Madame Pomfrey came bustling out of her office, but said nothing upon seeing the look on Dumbledore's face. "A dreamless sleep potion, if you will. I have given my permission for Harry's friends and family to stay with him tonight." Madame Pomfrey nodded once and walked over to her potion cupboard. She came back not a minute later with a dark purple potion in a glass cup.
"Drink it all, that's a good lad," Madame Pomfrey said. "Sleep well, Potter."
Harry fell backwards almost instantly, asleep before his head hit the pillow. Dumbledore excused himself to go and speak with the Minister, and the rest of us settled down uncomfortably for the night. Sirius and I were sitting so close together we should have been sharing a chair. He was holding my hands, playing with my fingers absentmindedly as he started at Harry. Hollyn sat on my other side, gripping Ginny's hand in her own – it appeared that Voldemort's return had rendered an apology moot. Ron and Hermione sat at the foot of Harry's bed, with Molly and Bill across the bed from us. Fred and George had been standing against the wall, too anxious to sit it appeared.
The atmosphere was so heavy that when an angry bellow broke the silence, we all shook out of our stupor slowly, as though breaking through the surface of water and gaining our bearings again.
"Seriously, what do they think they are doing?" Molly sniffed, looking over her shoulder at the door to the hallway. "They're disturbing patients who need rest! Is that Minerva McGonagall?"
"Shhh," Sirius shushed her, getting up out of his seat in preparation.
McGonagall, Dumbledore, Snape and Fudge came storming in the hospital wing, McGonagall screaming at him in a voice so angry it took me by surprise – it turns out I had never actually seen her angry before.
"You are being incredibly close-minded and naïve, Minister," McGonagall shouted, her face turning an impressive shade of red.
"And you are being rash and gullible!" Fudge shouted back, spit flying out of his mouth.
"Minister," Dumbledore interrupted. "Do think logically – it all makes sense. Everything from Bertha Jorkins's disappearance until the events of tonight have been explained. Lord Voldemort has returned, and if we act now we have a good chance of stopping him."
"You can not honestly believe that…that…he's back, can you?" Fudge sputtered, his eyes jumping between everyone in front of him, as though waiting for someone to announce "April Fool's!"
"I do. Harry saw him return," Dumbledore said definitively.
"And you believe him? The boy is…disturbed, Dumbledore! He's having fits all over the castle! The boy is a parsletongue. A fact which you conveniently forgot to mention to me," Fudge said in a rude voice.
"You've been reading Rita Skeeter, Minister," Harry said from the bed, taking us all by surprise. None of us had realized that he was awake.
"I…well…I…" Fudge sputtered before he composed himself. "The boy had some crackpot story last year too, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black. And in second year, all of that business with the Chamber of Secrets. Absolutely hogwash."
Sirius looked ready to jump in, the expression on his face murderous, when Severus stepped forward roughly, pushing his sleeve up forcefully and shoving his arm in the Minister's face.
"See?" Severus gesturing to the Dark Mark, which was burning a dark black. "It's not as dark as it was an hour ago, when it burned black against my skin. As soon as it burned, we knew the Dark Lord was back – Karkaroff knew it too. Why do you think he fled? The Dark Lord would use the Dark Mark to call his followers to him – whenever we felt the mark burn, we were to apparate immediately to his side. He is back, Minister."
Fudge looked between Severus, Dumbledore and Harry wildly, his mouth open in a stupid gape. "He just can't be back."
"I assure you Minister, that he is. If you act now, you may be able to stop him before he makes any major inroads. First and foremost, you must remove Azkaban from the care of the dementors."
"Remove the dementors? You must be mad! Half of us only sleep soundly in our bed knowing that the dementors are protecting us from the criminals within Azkaban!" Fudge roared, spit flying out of his mouth again.
"And the other half sleep less soundly knowing that you have put Lord Voldemort's most fervent supporter's in the care of creatures who will join him the moment he asks them! You can not offer him what Voldemort can offer him, Cornelius. You will not keep them."
"That's for damn sure," Sirius interjected. "Those creatures will go wherever they can get the most death and despair – Voldemort and the Death Eaters look like a party to them."
"Your second step" Dumbledore continued, as though he had not heard Sirius. "must be to send an envoy to the giants. Extend the hand of friendship to them, before it is too late, or Voldemort will persuade them as he did before, that he alone wizards will give them their rights and freedom!"
"You – you cannot be serious! If the magical community got wind that I had approached the giants – people hate them! End of my career, Dumbledore."
"You are blinded," Dumbledore said, his own voice rising now – his eyes blazing with an aura of power. "By the love of the office you hold, Cornelius! You place too much importance, and you always have done, on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be! Your dementor has just destroyed the last remaining member of a pure-blood family as old as any – and see what that man chose to make of his life! I tell you now – take the steps that I have suggested, and you will be remembered, in office or out, as one of the bravest and greatest Minsters of Magic we have ever known. Fail to act – and history will remember you as the man who stepped aside and allowed Voldemort a second chance to destroy the world we have tried to rebuild!"
"Insane. Mad" Fudge sputtered, backing away from Dumbledore.
"If your determination to shut your eyes will carry you as far as this Cornelius, we have reached a parting of the ways. You must act as you feel fit. And I – I shall act as I see fit." Dumbledore said, much more calmly, surveying Fudge with striking eyes.
"Now see here, Dumbledore," Fudge said, wagging his finger at Dumbledore. "I've given you free reign always. I've had a lot of respect for you. I might not have agreed with some of your decisions, but I've kept quiet. But if you're going to work against me…"
"The only one against whom I intent to work, is Lord Voldemort. If you are against him, then we remain, Cornelius, on the same side." Dumbledore's eyes were no longer blazing, but he was looking at Fudge with eyes full of pity.
Fudge seemed to have no response to this, for he played with his bowler hat idlily before walking over to Harry and dropping a bag full of coins on to his bedside table. "Your winnings," he said stiffly. "There was supposed to be an award's ceremony…but…well."
With that, he turned and left the hospital wing to the roaring sound of silence. Dumbledore waited for the sound of Fudge's footsteps to disappear before he spoke.
"Molly," he said. "Am I right in thinking that I can count of you and Arthur?"
"Of course. Arthur has no allegiance to the Ministry – it is his love of muggle's that's held him back at the Ministry. Fudge doesn't think he has the proper temperament for a wizard," Molly sniffed, as though she thought little of Fudge's opinion.
"Good." Dumbledore nodded. "We must act at once, to gather those at the Ministry who are not quite as blind as the Minister. But we must be subtle about it!"
"I'm on it," Bill said, standing up. "I'll go to Dad right now." He kissed his mother on the cheek, clapped Harry on the shoulder and nodded to Sirius and I before quickly exiting the Hospital Wing.
Seeing Bill stand up, so willing to jump in to action – to jump in to a war – made me realize how serious this all was. Voldemort was back. And Bill, sweet Bill, who I still remembered wrestling Charlie at Hollyn's first birthday, was about to fight in a battle that I thought we had won when he was a baby. All of a sudden, I got nauseous – dizzy. I stumbled backwards in to a chair next to Hollyn, my knees weak. I felt weak, and feverish – complete dread filling my body from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
"Severus, you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready…if you are prepared." Severus nodded once. "Then go at once. Be careful." With a flip of his cloak, Severus was gone. Dumbledore turned his attention to Minerva. "Minerva, please bring Hagrid to my office at once – and if she will consent to it – Madame Maxime. Poppy, there is a house elf named Winky in the Defense Against the Dark Arts office – I think you will find her to be in considerable distress. Please do what you can for her and then bring her down to the kitchen. I believe Dobby will look out for her." The two women left, and if they were confused by their strange instructions, they didn't show it. I guess working for Dumbledore for so long, you got used to his idiosyncrasies and learned not to question him.
"Sirius, I assume we can count on you again?" Dumbledore asked, looking at Sirius.
"Of course." Sirius said.
"Then, I'll ask you to round up the old crew – Arabella Fig, Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin. Let them know what has happened." Sirius nodded and turned to look for me, seeming to have not noticed that I was no longer standing behind him. An icy cold grip of panic struck me at the thought of Sirius leaving – the same panic I used to feel every time he went on a mission. It was déjà vu so strong, it was as if I was physically transported back fourteen years.
"Addie?" Sirius asked, voice full of concern upon seeing my pale face. He came over to my side, feeling my forehead. "Are you sick? Do you have a fever."
"Don't go," I whispered.
"Addie, don't be ridiculous," Molly said from across the bed. "Sirius will be fine."
"Mom, are you okay? You're very pale," Hollyn asked, leaning forward in her chair to look at my face.
"Love, what's wrong? Talk to me?" Sirius kneeled down in front of me, his hands on my knees.
"Don't go," I repeated. "Please, don't go."
"Sweetheart, I have to. I have to do my part, you know that. I'll be home soon," Sirius said in a patient voice, his brow furrowed in confusion at my clinginess.
"Harry almost died tonight."
"I'm fine, Addie. I know that Sirius needs to do what he can," Harry said from the bed.
"Sirius, Harry almost died tonight," I repeated again. "Voldemort is back. We're at war again."
"I know, love. That's exactly why I need to go."
"I'm pregnant, Sirius," I whispered desperately. "And I can't do this on my own again."
Sirius stared at me in shock at my declaration – his expression matching everyone else's, sans Molly's. I watched the color drain out of his face, his mouth wide open.
It wasn't, however, Sirius who broke the silence, but Hollyn. "You won't be alone Mom. You have me." She grabbed my hand in hers, smiling at me with the confidence of a woman much older than her young age.
"Me too, Aunt Addie," Ginny assured me.
"And of course, dear, you know that I will be there with you every step of the way," Molly said, smiling at me kindly.
"That is wonderful news, Addison," Dumbledore said in a kindly voice. "I hope you do not find me rude but I have guests waiting in my office. Congratulations, Addison, Sirius." He strode out of the room, the atmosphere lightening with his absence.
I didn't care about any of that, although I was touched. I needed Sirius to tell me that everything was going to be okay – I needed Sirius to talk to me.
"Sirius?" I said hesitantly, looking at my abnormally pale husband. He turned his gaze to my own, his grey eyes shining with an emotion that I couldn't place.
"I…I have to go," he said suddenly, looking around as though he had just remembered where he was. "We don't have any time to lose. I have to go and warn the others."
He got up just as suddenly as he had spoken and strode from the room.
"Sirius!" Molly called after him, getting up out of her own chair. "Get back here!"
"Molly," I shook my head. "Let him go. This is how he deals when he's overwhelmed. Business first, feelings last."
"Well that was incredibly rude of him," Molly sniffed. Personally, I agreed. I was pretty hurt by the way he had handled it, but looking around, I realized I had more important things to take care of than my own feelings.
"No matter. Harry, take the rest of your potion and go back to sleep. You need it. Hollyn, Ginny – if you insist on staying here tonight, at least take a bed and get some rest. You both look exhausted. The rest of you, too. We all need to try to get some rest." Taking charge made me feel better. Like I had something to focus on other than the fact that on the very night Voldemort had returned, my husband had run away from his family to go and help the cause. While I loved that he was so intent on fighting the dark side, I had always worried that he put it before his family. When it was just me, it wasn't so bad – but now that he was a father, I worried about Hollyn and Harry feeling disregarded by him.
"You too, Mom," Hollyn said. "You and the baby need some rest." She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her to one of the beds next to Harry. She pushed me down into it. "I love you, Mom. Sirius will come around."
"I know, honey. I love you more." I kissed the top of her head, and pushed her in the direction of the bed next to me. "Go get some sleep."
June 25th, 1995
I had been home for an entire day with no sign of Sirius. After Molly and I had left the kids for their going away feast, she had brought me home and let me cry on her shoulder for a good hour. Finally, she said that she needed to get home to meet Arthur and speak to him about what had happened tonight.
After she left, I sat in the living room alone until the sun went down and the room was cast in darkness. I didn't turn on the lights, preferring to sit there in the dark, alone with my thoughts. I couldn't believe that after everything – him asking me for a baby, trying for months, being disappointed that we hadn't conceived – he had just left after I had told him, without saying anything to me. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. How dare he just walk out on me! What gave him the right?
I was furious, I decided. Furious at the good for nothing twat. I sat there, wishing I wasn't pregnant so I could open a bottle of wine. Although, I suppose if I weren't pregnant, I wouldn't need a bottle of wine. I glanced at the clock, noting that Sirius's hand still was set to "traveling". I rolled my eyes. How fucking hard was it to get in touch with three people?
The telltale crack of apparition broke the silence hours later. It was late – very late. I had fallen asleep on the couch. I sat up shakily. Sirius came in to the house through the back door.
"Kitten?" He called hesitantly.
"In here," I said back tonelessly. I sat all the way up, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. He came in to the room, holding a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers. I got a sudden chill, hating the distance between us already – hating how much awkwardness was lingering in the air.
"Hi, baby," he said quietly, taking a hesitant step towards me, the flowers crinkling in the quiet living room, the only sound besides our breathing. "How are you?"
My anger flared back up instantly at his pathetic attempt at small talk. "How am I?"
I mocked. "I don't know Sirius. Lord Voldemort tried to kill Harry yesterday, the Ministry is insisting that it never happened, and I told you I'm pregnant. And what did you do? DISAPPEARED FOR AN ENTIRE DAY, DOING MERLIN KNOWS WHAT!"
Sirius rushed over to me, throwing the flowers down on the coffee table. "Kitten, let me explain."
"No! What is there to explain?" I protested stubbornly, still shouting. "That when the going got tough, you left?"
"You're right. I did leave. And you know what? I HAD TO. I fucking had to leave!"
"You didn't have to! Why did you have to?"
"Because if I didn't leave, and feel like I was doing something productive I was going to fucking lose my mind!" Sirius said, shouting for the first time. "My kid saw Lord Voldemort return, and I couldn't protect him. My daughter is fucking twelve and she has to live in the kind of world that we fought to protect her from – and I can't protect her. And now you're pregnant, and I don't know if I can protect either of you! So I did what I had to do – something, anything tangible." Sirius had grabbed my hands in his own. "I am so sorry that I left you. But if I can't protect you, I had to do something. I can't protect you, Addie, and I am fucking terrified."
I was crying now, having started somewhere in the middle of his speech, hearing the anguish clearly in his voice. "I'm terrified too," I admitted. "But I can not do this alone again. Promise me that you won't leave me."
"I promise, love. I promise that I am here for you – and that I am going to do everything that I can to make sure that this baby –" He put his hand on my stomach. "Grows up in a world without Voldemort."
I put my hands over his on my stomach, looking his right in the eyes. "Most important? That she grows up in a world with her father."
Sirius nodded solemnly at me, getting up off of the ground and sitting down on the couch next to me. He laid down, pulling me against his chest as he did so. We lay like that, both of our hands cradling my still flat belly, while we let the weight of the last couple of days settle around our shoulders.
