January 14th, 1996
Sirius was inconsolably angry. Moody had shown up minutes after Remus, with orders from Dumbledore to ensure Sirius and I remained in the house. It was good that he had; Sirius had erupted in fury when Remus had told us that it was his cousin, Bellatrix, plus another unidentified Death Eater, who had tracked down and killed Ellie and our niece. He'd been on the hunt for his shoes so that he could leave when Moody had walked into the entrance hallway, limping severely and a heavy frown marring his mangled face.
"No, Black, absolutely not. Dumbledore was very specific – he wants both of you in headquarters from now on. It's getting worse and worse out there, and with that bint on the loose, you know she's going to be after the whole family," Moody had said gruffly, physically restraining Sirius from storming out the front door to hunt his cousin down.
"Fuck off!" Sirius snarled. "You think I'm going to just sit here like a child after that?" He was thrashing wildly, trying to throw Moody off, but Moody was surprisingly strong for a man of his age. I guess years with the Aurors had made him accustomed to people trying to escape his hold, and he wasn't one to let his skills get rusty.
"You recklessly chasing her down is exactly what she wants, Padfoot," Remus said gently, holding my hand as I stood numbly in the corner. "Don't let her goad you."
"I don't give…" he shouted, still bucking wildly, "one rat's arse what she wants. I am going to fucking kill her."
"Sirius," I said quietly, speaking for the first time since Moody had arrived. He turned his head to glare at me.
"What Addison?" He asked pointedly, in an extremely sharp tone. He squirmed again in Moody's arms before turning his head back and shouting, "Moody I swear to Merlin, if you don't let me go!"
"Not until you've settled down," Moody barked. "I'll knock you out if I have to, but you're not going anywhere. Not on my watch."
"Well it's going to be BLOODY DIFFICULT TO KILL HER FROM INSIDE GRIMMAULD PLACE!" Sirius screamed, veins popping out of his neck due to the force with which he was shouting. He struggled again in desperation against Moody, who only tightened his grip with an impatient grunt.
"Sirius," I repeated again, slightly louder than I had last time.
"WHAT?" He shouted aggressively at me, completely losing his composure.
I flinched at his tone, and he immediately cooled off. Remus wrapped his arm around my back and shot Sirius a disbelieving look. "Now, Pads, let's calm down," he said, his arm protectively wrapped around me.
Sirius had stopped struggling now, standing limply with Moody's arm still wrapped around his neck in a choke hold. "You're right," Sirius admitted. "Sorry, kitten."
I ignored him. "Do you think she knows about the baby?" I asked, holding my belly as protectively as Remus was holding me. It was the first thing I had thought of upon hearing that Ellie had been attacked purposely. Bellatrix had targeted Ellie to send a message to Sirius and I; she was the weakest link out of all of us – the only one who wasn't always somehow protected. Lewis went from their protected house to the ministry and back. Sirius and I were always within Grimmauld Place; Dad's house was protected as well, and St. Mungo's was even better protected than the Ministry at this point. If Bellatrix had wanted to send us a message, Ellie was the one to attack. And we received the message, loud and clear – she was looking for us. We weren't safe. My heart was broken over the loss of my friend, but my bigger worry at the moment was the immediate safety of the family I could protect.
"No," Moody said immediately, stepping away from the now calmed Sirius. "No way. Only members of the Order know – you haven't been out in months."
"He's right," Sirius agreed. "The last time was when we move Harry, and you weren't even showing then. You didn't go to his trial, or to drop the kids off at Kings Cross. Every time you've been on guard duty you've been under Moody's invisibility cloak. There's no way she could know."
I nodded to myself, thinking if there had been a time when I had left Grimmauld Place since I had started showing, and realizing that Sirius was right. I hadn't wanted to be pulled in to the Ministry to be questioned about Sirius, so I had really tried to stay inside. It worked out in our favor that Sirius and I had been forced to quarantine for the last five months.
"Okay, alright," I said distracted, nodding absentmindedly. "Well, in that case – Hollyn and Harry are safe at Hogwarts, we're safe here, and Lewis and the kids will be safe at their cottage. I know Lewis put a ton of protective charms on the cottage at the beginning of Summer, so they should be fine…but maybe they won't be. Do you think we can do another Fidelius charm? I don't know who would be Secret Keeper, since we can't…"
"We're all going to be fine, kitten," Sirius said, walking over to me and pulling me out of Remus's arms and in to his own. I knew I had been babbling, and Sirius's touch shut me up immediately. I clung to him fiercely, my brain whirling in a thousand different directions.
"Moody, are you going to stay here for a while?" Remus asked, a determined look on his face.
"Yeah, figured I'd stay put. Make sure this lot doesn't do anything stupid," Moody said, pointing to us with his thumb.
"Okay, I'll be back," Remus nodded, not pausing to explain himself before walking out of the door.
February 23rd, 1996
Remus had come back, a month and a half ago, with Lewis, Max, and Louisa in tow. He had correctly assumed that keeping Sirius and I locked in Grimmauld Place while my family was even slightly unprotected, would drive us both insane and lead us to act recklessly. Luckily both my Dad and brother were more than happy to accept the protection of the Fidelius Charm, and promptly moved in. I knew that in our time of mourning, it was helping all of us to be together – a proper family.
Lewis had taken time off of work so that he could be with his children. Max was beginning to understand that his mother wasn't coming home, and had stopped asking about her, but Louisa still had no idea and could often be heard blathering, "mama" as she toddled around the house. Every time she did, Lewis's entire face went white and he looked as though he would never smile again; I always picked Louisa up and entertained her for a while when Lewis had one of these episodes.
All in all, he was taking it exceptionally well. At this point, Sirius and I were pros at losing people we loved, so we had taken it in stride and just continued to push forward. We'd sent a letter to Harry and Hollyn, letting them know what had happened. Sirius had reminded Harry that now was the time to learn to protect himself, and I had begun to agree with him more and more. Fuck Umbridge and her archaic views, Harry needed to know how to protect himself against the real danger – which was getting more and more prevalent with each day.
The same day Ellie had been murdered, Broderick Bode, a friend of Arthur's, had been found strangled in his bed. Dumbledore was sure that he was put under the imperius curse by the Death Eaters, attempting to use his knowledge of the Department of Mysteries to remove the prophecy. Despite Sirius and I's incessant pestering, he had still refused to tell us what the prophecy said, or why it was so important. It was infuriating, Dumbledore once again withholding information about Harry from Sirius and I. We knew how important it was, however, so we allowed Dumbledore to keep his secret – for now.
Lewis and I were sitting in the drawing room, reading the newspaper. Sirius was running around as padfoot, keeping Max and Louisa entertained. He rolled over, letting the kids jump on him; he licked their faces sloppily, causing both kids to giggle uncontrollably. I smiled at him fondly, loving how good Sirius was with the kids – they had been such a blessing for him, giving him something to entertain himself with and allowing him to get out of his own mind.
"Addie, have you seen this?" Lewis asked, holding out a copy of the Quibbler, which had come with his morning post.
"The Quibbler? That's the ruddy magazine that thinks Sirius is Stubby Boardman, right?" Sirius barked once playfully, his version of 'yes!'
"You'll want to see this one," Lewis swore, shaking the magazine at me to take. I took it from him, his finger marking the article that he wanted me to read.
My eyes scanned the title greedily, smiling in triumph upon realizing that Harry had given an interview – pride, actually. Smiling in pride at how brave and mature Harry had become in the last year. My eyes stuck on the name of the author of the article, and I chuckled sardonically. "Fucking Rita Skeeter," I said, still chuckling, my eyes roaming the rest of the article.
In an instant, Sirius had shifted back to his human form, much to the disappointment of the kids, and had strode over to me on the couch. "What's that bitc–" I shot him a warning look and he cut himself off. "Sorry, Lew," he said with a perfunctory glance at the kids, who were now chasing Kreacher around and trying to get him to let them dress him up. "What's she got to say now?"
Instead of answering, I wordlessly passed him the copy of the Quibbler, which I had quickly finished reading. Sirius read it quickly, letting out a whoop of appreciation when he reached the end. "That boy has got spunk," he said, grinning proudly. "James would be so proud of him."
"I know I could never have done something like that at his age," Lewis agreed. "Hell, I probably couldn't do something like that now. Addie got all of the bravery in the family."
"It's Mom's genes," I nodded. "You're all Dad."
"I hope that's a good thing," Dad said, poking his head through the door. I hadn't heard him come home – he had worked the overnight shift last night.
"Yes," I nodded. "The smart genes, I meant."
"Oh…cheers then!" Dad said jovially. "Right, well I'm off to bed. I'm knackered."
The next several weeks passed in much the same manner. I was extremely happy to have my family with me, especially as I got closer and closer to my due date. We all knew it wasn't permanent – we had all become more accustomed to the fact that Ellie was gone; the immediate panic I had felt had subsided. This was the world we lived in and we had to be cautious, but we also had to adjust. Soon, Lewis, Dad and the kids would go home, to resume their lives.
Exactly two months after Ellie and Carina's passing, we had another shock – my water breaking. I'd been getting out of the shower – taking a bath had become too difficult. With the size of my belly, once I got down, I couldn't get up without the help of my husband. At first, I hadn't really understood what was happening; I looked down dumbly for a whole thirty seconds, trying to comprehend what was running down my leg before I realized what it was.
"Sirius!" I called, in a slight panic. Sirius came bursting through the door, looking around wildly, probably thinking I had fallen. I'd known he'd been lurking outside the door – ever since my due date had come and passed, Sirius had never been more than a step away from me. It had been nice, being catered to hand and foot for the last couple of weeks.
"What, what is it?" He asked nervously, his eyes twitching around the room looking for trouble.
"The baby is coming," I said simply.
"Baby?" Sirius repeated stupidly.
"Yes, love, the baby. You know? Your baby? The one I've been pregnant with for the past nine months?" I said patiently, waiting for him to catch on.
"Coming now?" He was still standing there, an extraordinarily daft look on his exceptionally handsome face.
"Yes, my love, coming no – ow!" I cut myself off at the end, groaning in pain as my first contraction hit. It was so different from my last birth – I'd had contractions for hours before my water broke with Hollyn.
Sirius had rushed to my side upon my expression of pain, supporting me as I breathed through the contraction. Once I had felt my body untense, Sirius helped me walk over to the bed, lowering me carefully down. "I'll be right back," he assured me, having finally caught on that the baby was, in fact, on the way.
I breathed steadily as I waited, wincing as another small contraction rolled through my body. They were coming quickly, just about three minutes between my first and second contraction. The longer Sirius was gone, the more anxious I got. Dad was at St. Mungo's, and I knew Sirius had gone to get him, but my irrational brain was getting angry that he had left me alone for so long.
He was back not even a minute later, panting. "I sent Remus," he explained, struggling to catch his breath. "Should be back any minute."
I nodded, unable to speak due to the force of another contraction. He held my hand, pushing the sweaty hair out of my face. Once the contraction had stopped, he waved his wand, conjuring a glass of ice chips which he offered me. I accepted gratefully, glad that Sirius seemed to have read some sort of book to prepare himself for this.
Fifteen minutes later, Dad came in, with Remus following quickly behind. Upon seeing the state that I was in, Remus awkwardly said, "I'll just, wait outside, yeah?"
Nobody bothered answering him, my Dad getting straight in to examining me. "How long ago was your last contraction?" He asked.
"Minute and a half ago," Sirius answered, checking his watch to confirm.
"How far apart have they been coming?" Dad asked, checking to see how dilated I was.
"Every 2-3 minutes," Sirius answered. I was happy he was paying attention, because I was already so tired that I couldn't even tell my Dad when my own birthday was, let alone the frequency with which I was experiencing contractions.
"We'll be pushing soon," Dad confirmed, looking up at me from his seat at the bottom of the bed. "You ready, Addie?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," I chuckled weakly. I turned to look at Sirius, laying my head on the pillow. Although I was a hot, sweaty mess, he was looking at me as though I were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
He leaned down towards me, his lips inches from my cheek. "You've got this kitten," he said sweetly, pressing his lips to my cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too," I repeated.
It was the last nice thing I said that for several minutes. Towards the end, a steady stream of curse words was falling from my lips. "I hate you; I hate you; I hate you; I hate you!" I repeated as I pushed for the last time. Sirius kept his hand firmly in mine, and a steady stream of affirmations falling from his lips to combat my insults.
"You are doing so well, baby, one last push, come on!"
Hating his guts, I pushed hard one last time, feeling the pressure stop with a glorious relief. I laid my head back on the pillow, letting my body relax, and hearing the wonderful sound of my child crying for the first time.
I turned my head towards Sirius again, seeing that he was looking down towards my Dad, a look of absolute awe on his face. His eyes were shining with tears as he looked at his baby, his throat clenched with the obvious effort to quell his emotions. When he felt me looking, he turned towards me, pushing my hair off my forehead again and pressing a slew of kissed to my temple.
"I love you so much," he said reverently, looking at me with such admiration. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips, his hand still tenderly pushing my hair back.
Dad had finished cleaning the baby off, and had walked over towards us. He placed our child down in my arms. "Addie, Sirius, say hello to your daughter."
I looked down at my daughter, her tiny hands red and chapped, reaching out aimlessly. I started crying as I looked down at her beautiful face; I leaned down to press a kiss to her tiny forehead. Sirius had also leaned closer, reaching out a hand to coo at his daughter. She reached her tiny hand out again, having found her target. She wrapped her entire hand around Sirius's pointer finger; Sirius looked down at her as though he had never seen a baby before – then again, there was nothing like meeting your own baby for the first time.
Dad had given us a moment with our daughter uninterrupted before he spoke again. "Have you decided on a name?"
"No," I shook my head, but at the same time, Sirius said, "Yes." I looked at him questioningly. "Eliana Carina Black," he continued.
I looked at him oddly for a moment, my heart swelling with affection for him. He must have interpreted my look as displeasure with the name, because he sputtered quickly and backtracked. "I mean, I just thought…you know with what just happened…and Carina does fit in with the Black star theme…only if you like it…I'm open to whatever you want!"
I cut him off with a kiss, pouring all of the affection I was feeling in to it. "I love it," I assured him honestly. It was the most perfect name and the sweetest way to honor Ellie and Carina, taken from us way too soon.
"Would you like to hold her?" I asked Sirius. He nodded eagerly, holding his arms out to receive her. I passed her over to him, and he took her carefully, cradling her head gently. He looked down at her, his face shining with love and adoration.
"Hi baby," he said softly, bouncing her in his arms. "I'm your daddy. And that beautiful woman over there is your mommy. We love you so much, Eliana, and we are going to make sure that you never ever are scared or lonely or anything other than loved."
April 1st, 1996
Sirius and I were sitting in the drawing room two weeks later, Eliana snoozing in his arms peacefully, when we heard a loud crack come from the middle of the room. I flinched, looking at Eliana surreptitiously, hoping that the noise hadn't waked her out; we had just gotten her to quiet down fifteen minutes ago. Eliana, the perfect child that she was, slept on, oblivious to the new visitor standing in our living room.
"Dumbledore?" I asked shocked, standing from the couch where I had been knitting a baby blanket. Molly had spent some time teaching me during the last couple of weeks, and I had managed to catch on pretty well – I could never hope to knit sweaters like she could, but a simple blanket I could handle.
"Hello, Addison, Sirius. Having a good evening?" He said pleasantly, as though he had not just shown up unannounced in the middle of our living room.
"Just got the baby to sleep," Sirius said quietly, still cradling Eliana to his chest.
"Oh yes!" Dumbledore said, his eyes widening. "Congratulations again! You got my gift, I suppose?"
"Yes," I said quickly. "Thank you so much for the socks."
"I always find that you can never have enough socks, even as a baby," Dumbledore said in a whimsical voice, trailing off as he gazed in to the distance. "A beautiful name too, Eliana. I was sorry to hear of the passing of your sister-in-law. Still, the circle of life – I'm sure you'll find as Eliana grows that she exhibits many of the same characteristics Ellie did."
I nodded, not quite sure what to say to that. Sirius cleared his throat, and Dumbledore turned his blue gaze to him. "What are you doing here so late sir? Did we forget about a meeting?"
"No!" Dumbledore said exuberantly. "I am, as they say…on the run."
Sirius and I stared at him blankly, his jovial tone not matching the information he was giving us. Sirius's jaw had actually dropped. After almost a full minute of silence, during which time Dumbledore had taken a seat in the last vacant armchair in the room.
"Uhm…what's going on?" I said, finally.
"Harry's secret society has been discovered," Dumbledore answered casually.
"WHAT?" Sirius said sharply and immediately regretted it when Eliana woke up, screaming. "Shhh, shhh…" he said, trying to calm her. He stood up, bouncing her in his arms and he paced around the couch, his eyes never leaving Dumbledore's face. "What do you mean he was discovered? Is he okay? What did Umbridge do?"
"Harry is fine. One of the students who was a part of the order decided to confess to Umbridge what had been going on; Hermione Granger, however, seemed to have put a jinx on a piece of parchment that they all signed, as a sort of…insurance policy," Dumbledore said calmly.
"What did she do?" I asked eagerly, knowing how brilliant Hermione is.
"The student in question has rather large pustules across the whole of her forehead spelling out the word 'sneak'" Dumbledore answered in a neutral tone. I snorted, trying to stifle my laughter; the poor girl was a child after all.
Sirius however, wasting no time in barking out a laugh. "That girl is bloody brilliant!" He laughed, stopping in his tracks, Eliana balanced in his arms. "James would have loved her," he said, shaking his head in amazement.
"Umbridge and the Minister brought the girl upstairs, along with Harry, for questioning," Dumbledore continued, as though he had not heard Sirius.
"So, how much trouble is Harry in?" I sighed, fearing the worst. With the news I'd been getting from Hollyn, Ginny, and even the twins, I knew that Umbridge was nastier than the average school professor.
"None," Dumbledore said simply, bringing his hands up to examine his fingernails.
"But you just said that Umbridge caught him – this student told them everything?" Sirius asked, just as confused as I was.
"Once she was in front of Fudge, Kingsley was able to modify her memory so that she implied tonight was to be the first meeting – to be honest, the girl was too distraught over the state of her face to be too much of a help."
Eliana had stopped crying; her tiny face was nuzzled in to Sirius's chest, fast asleep again. Sirius put her down in the bassinette next to the couch, walking over to the couch I was sitting in and putting his arm around my shoulders. "That was smart thinking," he said. "Kingsley's always been sharp though."
"And then Umbridge pulled out the aforementioned hexed piece of parchment, and upon seeing the name – Dumbledore's Army, did you know? – I was able to convince Fudge that it had been my idea the whole time," Dumbledore said, folding his hands together and placing them in his lap.
"I bet he loved that," Sirius laughed.
"Well, he did try to tell me to…what's the phrase? Come quietly?" Dumbledore agreed, a gentle smile gracing his lips. "And obviously, as I am here, that did not go as he planned."
"So what's next?" I asked. "Wil you be staying here?"
"Oh, no, I couldn't impose on the two of you, and Eliana," Dumbledore said quickly. "I am simply waiting here for Fawkes to give me the all clear."
"Where will you go?" I asked, my brow furrowed.
"I will not be in hiding if that is what you mean. I'll be traveling, trying to get information. I will, of course, be accessible as always," he answered, looking towards the ceiling now, as though Fawkes was going to appear at any second.
It appeared that Dumbledore could sense when Fawkes was approaching, for he stood up suddenly, and said, "That's my signal," seconds before Fawkes actually dropped a feather out of thin air.
"Oh, stay the night," I protested, checking my watch. It was late – far too late to be out and about. Not even my dislike of Dumbledore would stop me from offering our hospitality at such an hour.
"I can't," Dumbledore said regretfully. "I must get moving. This time is crucial – I must take advantage of every moment I can, while I'm being kept from my school."
"Sir," Sirius said, standing up to say a proper goodbye. "Is Harry safe, at school with that hag?"
Dumbledore regarded Sirius seriously over his half half-moon spectacles for a moment before answering in a grave voice. "I think Harry is more capable than even we realize." With a final glance at the pair of us, Dumbledore disapparated into the unknown.
