This mama is so mentally shot that writing has been hard to do. Between a son who doesn't like to sleep through the night and the wiggling of our soon to be born bundle, I have been having trouble sleeping. I have managed some ZZZ's the last couple nights and fought tooth and nail to get this put together for you, though, so here it is!

TRIGGER WARNING: There is some abuse in here, nothing too explicit, but please be careful if that is something you worry about reading.

ABT4Life: I have not, but I have a friend and SIN who both rave about it, so it is on my ever expanding list of books to read in the future.

Savwafair: I know it feels a little overdone to have a guy 'heal' the heroine and make her trust again, but the way you predicted it is not quite the way it works out. Lucy had made substantial progress on her own. I have some similar experiences, and I used that to help me with that part of her story. She was not raped, but she was used. It's mentioned a few times how hard Loke had to work at being her friend, and that was the part that I was using to hint at it. I hope this part will clear up the rest. ALSO, I like your Flynn Rider prediction, but you're not quite there yet.

As always, thanks for all the love and happy reading!


Loke's fists clenched but it was the only outward sign that he had heard Lucy's words. She was still staring at Natsu's gift so she didn't seem to notice, especially through the tears in her eyes.

For his own sake, when he'd confronted them after they'd freaked Lucy out at his restaurant, he had kept from looking through their memories for what they'd done to her. He'd asked enough questions to figure out just how terrible they were before he taught them a lesson, wiped their memories of her and sent them on their way. He didn't care if their former gang came after them; as far as they were concerned, they were upstanding members of society who volunteered and spent time cutting grass for the elderly on Sundays.

He had known they did something terrible to her. Lucy was too strong to be taken down with words alone, but even hearing that one little statement to confirm their effect on her…

Before his imagination could run away with him, Loke stood to grab himself a cup of tea. "Why don't you sit before you tell me."

Lucy jerked as he spoke. She hadn't seen him stand, let alone come over to the counter next to her. When his words finally registered, she sighed and nodded. "That's probably a good idea."

When they were both seated at the table, Lucy set her cup aside in favor of holding the dragon. Loke watched her, certain he'd never seen the little dragon before. It obviously meant a lot to her, so he decided to try and use it to help get her talking. "Where is that from? I've never seen it before."

Lucy's hands tightened around it a little. "Natsu gave it to me." She looked at him in warning. "You're not allowed to take this, too. I will fight you tooth and nail if you try."

He leaned back, his hands raised. "I wasn't going to take it. It was part of my task to clean up your apartment of anything that might remind you of him. If I missed it, that's my fault, but it wouldn't do any good to take it away now."

"It wasn't here, it was at work." When he didn't say anything, she looked up and saw him squinting at the figure, his lips drawn in a line. She caught the flash of anger in his eyes before he looked up again.

"Guess I didn't think to look there," he said, and the smile he gave her didn't quite reach his eyes. "Are you ready to talk now? You still don't have to, you know. It doesn't affect my ability to do my job, so you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to," she said as firmly as she could. "I want you to understand."

"Understand what?" he asked.

She looked down at the little dragon again, avoiding his eyes. She'd never talked about it, ever, with anyone. She'd never told her father, she'd never told her friends, and she didn't count the letters she'd written to her mother. Those had eventually been burned, to make sure they were never read by anyone they shouldn't.

"Loke, do you… know how to read people? Like Natsu could?"

"Not quite." He took a sip of his tea. "Angels and demons can do a lot of the same magic, but we're better at different things. Demons specialize in the more manipulative magics, while angels are stronger with defensive spells, since our role is to protect. I do know how to read, but I can only read the conscious thoughts, where demons can access memories and feelings."

"So you could see those memories, if I thought about them?"

Loke looked uncomfortable but he nodded. "I could, yes."

Lucy swallowed audibly before saying, "I'd like to do it that way."


Zeref sighed as he ran his hands over his face. "I don't understand."

"He's destroying everything," Midnight said again. "One of the servants sent word that he keeps trying to go passed the bounds of the realm, and when he's pushed back, his anger increases. He's already destroyed everything but the castle and they're worried that won't stay standing much longer either."

The king stood up and went to look out the window. "In that realm's time, he's only been there a couple hours. He's proving to be more problematic than I thought." After a moment, he sighed. "Go speak with the butler. I'll bring the staff back here. I'd rather Natsu get his aggression out of his system without too much collateral damage. The staff out there have only just figured out how I like them to work while I'm around. I'd rather not have to start all over with a fresh batch."

"You got it."

When Midnight had left, Zeref glanced over at the calendar on the wall. He only need a few more days.

A few more days and he'd be able to have the heir returned to his realm and their plan could be put into action.


Loke looked around and found himself inside of a bakery. He knew he was looking through Lucy's eyes, but it always took a moment for him to get the feel of being in someone else's memories that way.

Lucy was just leaving a bakery when she bumped into someone. The collision caused her to drop her treat, but luckily not her laptop.

"I am so sorry!" she said as she looked up at the man.

"It's not a problem," the man said with a warm smile. He leaned down and picked up her bag. "It was my fault for getting distracted."

She smiled as she took the bag from him. "Distractions at their finest I suppose."

"And this one is particularly beautiful."

Lucy looked up and found him smiling down at her. When his meaning finally registered, she grew flustered. "Oh, I don't know about all that."

"I do," he said as he studied her. "I know beauty when I see it." With a chuckle, he moved out of her way. "I'm afraid it gets me into trouble often when I try to admire beautiful things while performing other tasks. It is worth it, however, with someone like you. You are a beauty I could spend many hours appreciating."

"Thank you," Lucy said as her cheeks heated.

He stuck out his hand. "The name's Rusty."

"Nice to meet you," she said, shaking his hand. "I'm Lucy."

Everything around Loke morphed for a moment, and then he was sitting across from the man at a table. There were no words, just feelings of being pampered and spoiled, and enjoying the unswerving attention from a good looking man.

This persisted through several visions, from picnics to movies, to a few dark memories that Lucy rushed through. Loke felt skin on skin and little satisfaction, but he couldn't say if it was a physical or emotional response. When the picture was clear again, he was walking with Rusty along the street on the opposite side of town from where Lucy currently lived.

"Are you sure?" Rusty asked. "I don't want to take you away if you're busy."

"I think it will be fun," Lucy said as she smiled up at him. "I've never been away for a trip before. Where are we going? The girls will ask."

"It's a surprise," he said, his eyes gleaming. "I hope you'll like it."

She squeezed his hand and rose up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "I'm sure I'll love anything you plan for me."

Once more the memory changed and Loke felt fear eclipse all other emotions as he looked around the shadowed room.

Rough palms squeezed her shins as her foot was strapped down to the table she was on. Someone heavy was sitting on top of her, holding her body and arms still as manacles were attached to her wrists. The cold metal bit into her skin when she tried to pull away, but she couldn't move far. Her throat, sore from trying to scream earlier, ached as she cried, begged in a hoarse voice to be released. She saw three people moving around her through the hood over her head, but none of them responded to her as they worked to retrain her.

Suddenly, she was yanked down the table, pulling her arms taunt above her head. They stopped when her butt hit her heels and the person above her secured a strap around her hips, holding her still.

She fought, as much as could, but there was nowhere for her to go. One of the people, a man she was sure, was giggling to himself. Once they had finished, the person above her checked her restraints once more before getting off her.

"That should do," he said in a deep voice. "The boss said to keep her here until he tells us it's time to release her."

"Finally," another man said. He giggled as he moved forward and ripped the front of her button down, exposing her skin to the cold air.

"What are you doing?" a woman's voice asked as the man was pushed away.

"What does it look like?" he snapped.

"The boss said she was to be left alone," the first man said again.

"What?! Oh come on, you can't tell me we strapped her to this table and I can't have a little fun?"

"Hades said hands off, except to feed her."

The second man argued for a while, but he finally gave up. "I guess we'll see," he growled as he left, slamming a door somewhere.

Loke was growling as the memory faded. If he had laid even one finger on Lucy again, he was going to find him and kill him.

Lucy seemed to get lost for a while, or maybe the memories from that room were just too similar. Loke heard dripping, probably from faucet, throughout the entire series. Hands, rough and soft, touched her, some more roughly than others. There was one set in particular that he could sense, always taunting and threatening.

He could sense Lucy's terror that he would violate her, despite his comrades warnings. A few times they moved forward to stop him, but towards the end, he could tell they had stopped caring. He had the feeling they had given up trying and were leaving his punishment to their boss if he followed through, but in the meantime didn't care to try and stop him.

Lucy's fear was worse then. Despite the taunts, she had felt some measure of safety with his comrades around, but at the end of her stay, she was rife with uneasiness and terror whenever he entered the room.

Despite the woman having rebuttoned her shirt with the few remaining buttons, Lucy felt unclean whenever he entered the room. Zancrow, she'd eventually figured out, was the one who scared her the most. The rest seemed to listen to their boss's orders, but he didn't care. He'd spent one of his visits telling her about the things he'd done at this table with others that had been there before her. She'd tried to drown out the images, but he'd been relentless with his stories, going into elaborate detail.

He was annoyed they'd put her on that table but were restraining him from the usual activities. Apparently the other table had been occupied, so they were forced to adapt.

There was one man who didn't say anything when he was in the room, and he never came near. Lucy wondered why, but never asked. As far as she knew, he was worse than Zancrow and by talking to him, she would be inviting something even worse on herself.

The light in the room changed, and Loke knew there was something different about this memory.

Lucy's hood had been removed that morning and a woman had tried to wash up her face and hair. She'd fought, of course, but the woman had managed to talk her down when she'd told her that she was being released. The woman had washed her arms, hands and feet, too, trying to make her presentable Lucy guessed.

Even somewhat clean, Lucy had been skeptical, especially when Zancrow had entered the room some time later, alone.

"Well you're looking better," he said as he approached her. Lucy wished she could move to avoid his touch, but it was impossible with the restraints. Not only that, being strapped down as she had, her joints and muscles were so sore and stiff, she wasn't sure she could have moved even if she wanted to.

He ran his hand up and down her leg as he leaned over her. "You know, you're much prettier than I thought you'd be after being stuck down here so long." He frowned, his eyes flashing with a crazed light as he studied her face. "It's not fair that they're keeping me from using this table to its fullest potential."

Lucy's heart began to beat frantically in her chest. She was all alone, with none of her other captors around. Even if they'd given up trying to stop him from touching her, their presence seemed to have been enough to keep him from taking things too far.

He'd hit her, pinched her, pulled on her hair, had even threatened to cut her once, but after hearing their 'boss's' order not to violate her, she'd felt reasonably assured he wouldn't.

Now that she could see him, though, she was glad she hadn't seen him sooner. The look in his eyes was wild, barely contained, and she could easily see him ignoring his orders to not touch her. Now that she'd seen him, she was even more surprised he hadn't.

"You know what?" He ran his hands up and down her shins as he stared at her, waiting for an answer. When she didn't say anything, he dug his fingers into her calves, making her gasp. "I asked a question. It's rude to ignore people, didn't your daddy ever teach you that?"

Tears filled her eyes, and she continued to hold her tongue. She didn't know what words would set him off, so she was willing to risk some pain in return for not saying the wrong thing.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I knew it," he said, disgusted. "We've been too nice to you."

The bruises on Lucy's body begged to differ but she didn't say anything as he tugged on her jeans. "You know what? You're going back today anyway, so there's no point in babying you so much anymore, is there? I think you need a healthy dose of fear before you leave. You know," he said, his grin widening. "So you know better than to disobey your father again."

Lucy's stomach sank. Her father had arranged for this? He had gotten so upset with her refusing to come home that he had her abducted and beaten?

"What are you talking about?" she asked, speaking for the first time in days.

"Zancrow, you're needed upstairs."

Lucy paled when she heard those words. She knew that voice.

Her eyes slammed closed.

No. No, she refused to believe she'd been tricked by him, too.

"Aw, come one," Zancrow whined. "I just wanted a little taste of what she has to offer! You seemed to be enjoying yourself-"

"You're needed upstairs. I can take over watching Lucy."

Zancrow whined a while longer, but Lucy didn't hear the words. She was too busy trying to breathe around the pain of her heart being shattered.

Rusty…

All this time, he'd just been using her, probably sent to keep an eye on her.

She should have known.

She'd liked him, loved him even. She'd given him everything she had and he'd used her. How could he? How could he have spent so long pretending to care about her and then subject her to these people?

When she opened her eyes, Rusty was leaning against the wall where she could see him. His hair was different and she suddenly realized that he was the one she'd seen through the hood that never spoke. He'd been there, every time Zancrow had hit her, every time Azuma had mocked her, and he'd said nothing…

"Why?" she asked.

He smiled at her, as though they were doing nothing more than having lunch. "Don't take it personally. I told you, I enjoy beauty. When we were given the job, it was only natural that I would ask to be the one to keep an eye on you."

Tears fell in streams from Lucy's eyes, making it hard to see him. "Why did you… have to do what you did? Why not just be my friend?"

"And give up the chance to be with a beauty like you? That would have been a waste." He frowned a little. "They say beauty is fleeting, so you have to enjoy it while you can. I can understand that. You're not nearly as pretty when you cry.

"Although, Zancrow was right about one thing." His smile grew cold. "It is a waste to not use this table for its intended purpose."

Loke pushed himself away, abruptly breaking his connection with Lucy. She fell forward a little as his hands stopped supporting her head, but she caught herself.

"I can't," Loke said, his anger causing him to glow. "I can't watch anymore."

Lucy watched him pace, fascinated by the light coming off of him, as she spoke. "He didn't rape me, Loke. The woman came downstairs and sent him away while she helped me get up so they could take me to my father. It turned out they had been sent to keep an eye on my and then retrieve me, but they figured out who I really was after they captured me and demanded more money from my father in exchange for my return."

She laughed humorlessly. "My father didn't even realize he was dealing with a gang when he hired them."

"But Magnolia doesn't have any gangs," Loke argued.

"They're not from Magnolia. I don't know where he found them, but they didn't live here. If they had, I would have moved as soon as I got away.

"I thought about it a lot, but…" She looked out the window, that little dragon still firmly in her grasp. "Even though I couldn't tell the girls what happened, I needed them to get better. I needed them around. I wouldn't have been able to be okay otherwise. I had to stay. This is where my home is. This is where my friends are." She looked up at him. "This is where I belong.

"Besides, after what happened, once I was better anyway, I went and confronted my father and he agreed to leave me alone. He tried to blame me at first, but eventually had to accept that he had been the one to put me in danger. I was getting by on my own and he was forced to accept that I was alright and he had to leave me be."

Loke continued to pace, his heart breaking for her. He should have killed them. Had he known all he knew now, he's not sure he would have allowed them to leave his restaurant. They'd harmed his charge. The thought was deplorable.

"But it's okay now." Lucy smiled at the little dragon. "Natsu took care of them."

He stopped moving. His feet just sputtered to a stop on their own, nearly causing him to fall over. "What do you mean?"

"I know he called you," she said. "I know you were trying to help him find them. He was weird after I came home, until after our trip to Aspen, and I know he was sleeping with me to try and ward off the nightmares, although I don't know how he knew I was going to have them.

"Shortly after we got back, he went back to his normal goofy self and I knew he'd taken care of the men I saw at your restaurant. I'm glad you helped him," she said as she looked up at him and smiled. "I don't know what he did, or how you figured out who they were, but I'm better knowing that they were punished in some way. Thank you, Loke."

He wanted to correct her. He wanted to use the truth to help put him back in her good graces. He wanted to tell her that he was the one that had punished them and that they no longer remembered anything about her, outside of the intense terror they would feel if they were to ever run into her again.

He was her protector, not Natsu.

He had taken care of the problem, not Natsu.

"You're welcome," he said instead.

He had messed up, a lot. Even if he'd had no choice, he wasn't going to ruin this for her. If it made her feel even a little bit better, he would allow Natsu to keep the credit.

And he understood now why he'd had so much trouble getting into her good graces when he'd met her. His mannerisms must have reminded her of Rusty. That she was able to be so civil with him, even now, was a miracle. She was even stronger than he gave her credit for. She'd hid it so well, dealt with it so well, that he hadn't even suspected. He should be ashamed for not figuring it out sooner.

He was more upset that he had to accept that Natsu had been good for her. He was too honest and had no poker face, not to mention he never lied. Lucy would have had no problem trusting him, even if he was a demon. Natsu was a rare breed, and Loke had to believe that his unique personality had been what allowed Lucy to loosen up as much as she had in the last couple months.

It was probably because of him that she'd even considered dating Taurus. One of the reasons he hadn't taken Taurus' plan seriously had been because he'd never known Lucy to date anyone, so he hadn't even entertained the thought that it would work. Even though a guardian angel's presence was naturally soothing and caused humans to trust them with little thought, Lucy had been different. How had he not been able to figure out why that was?

Lucy stood and came to hug him, the tears following shortly after as she remained in his embrace. "I trusted him, Loke. He was different, and not just because he wasn't human. He was honest. He was… he cared about me, in a way no one else ever has.

"I… I relied on him. He helped me come back out of my shell so I can make other friends. And try dating…"

She squeezed her eyes shut and dug her face into his shoulder. "But I can't see him again, can I?"

Loke had to swallow several times to clear his throat.

He didn't want to answer her. He didn't want to watch her break. He didn't want to cause that. He didn't want to be the reason for her tears.

Eventually, though, he had to speak.

"No," he whispered. "You can't."