March 27th, 1998
"Let's go!" Sirius screamed, glaring at his cousin. Narcissa stood, frozen in her corner, staring at her son and her dead husband.
"I…I…" Narcissa stuttered, her eyes wide.
"Come, Mother," Draco demanded, storming over to her and pulling her by the wrist over to Sirius. "We need to go before the Dark Lord gets here." Once we were all near each other, Sirius grabbed hold of my arm, and Dobby apparated us out of the Malfoy's drawing room.
We landed in the middle of a cozy living room, my knees unable to handle my weight and buckling beneath me. Dobby apparated away at once, not willing to spend any more time with the Malfoys than was absolutely necessary. Sirius caught me before I hit the ground, and I turned in his arms, launching myself at him. I was sobbing, all of the pain, fear, and loneliness that I had felt over the past several months coming out in waves of ugly tears. Sirius ran his fingers through my hair gently, shushing my tears and crushing me against him. He was crushing me; I was gasping for air, but I didn't care. I genuinely had thought I would never see him again – but here he was. In front of me, solid. Real. Sturdy.
"I can't believe you're here," I said, my voice shaking. My entire body was shaking, I realized. I nuzzled my face in to his chest, trying to get as close to him as I possibly could.
"I'm here. You're here. Holy shit, Addie, I thought I was never going to see you again," Sirius said, his chest rumbling against my cheek. "How are you? Are you okay? Of course, you're not okay – you're shaking like a leaf." So was he. We were both trembling from the after effects of the Cruciatus Curse. He led me over to a well-loved couch, and I refused to let go of his arm, pulling him down with me. I curled up against him, him wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I looked up at him, and he leaned down to kiss me softly, as though he was afraid that he would hurt me.
"Aunt Addie!" A voice came from the doorway. I lifted my head from Sirius's chest, and looked across the room. Draco and Narcissa were standing in the corner of the living room still, huddled next to each other, their faces pale and looking unsure of their place. It was Bill who had spoken, his eyes wide as he stared at me, sitting on, what I now presumed, to be his couch. "Malfoy?" He asked, noticing the blonde pair, his face falling in to confusion. He paled when he saw my face, scarred from Jase's curse and bleeding from Bellatrix's blade; it made his scars stand out vividly, the only remnants from his attack last year.
"Hi, Bill," I said weakly, laying my head back down on Sirius's chest. The effort of holding it up was excruciating. "Nice place."
"What are you doing here?" Bill asked, ignoring my comment.
"Sirius and the kids saved me," I said. "I've been in Malfoy Manor for the last…actually," I said, the thought just coming to me. "How long was I there?"
"Nine months," Sirius supplied, succinctly.
"Nine months? I missed nine months?" I asked, heartbroken. "Hollyn and Eliana? I missed so much! Do they hate me? Do you even know? Luna told me that you've been on the run? ON THE RUN? What is happening?" I was panicking – hyperventilating. A panic attack hitting me as I realized how little I knew. As I realized how angry I was at Sirius for leaving our girls. As I realized that my girls had no idea if I was even alive or not.
Bill shook his head at me. "Merlin, Addie. You were kidnapped and tortured for nine months – of course the kids don't hate you," He walked over to us, sitting down in the armchair next to the couch.
"Are they safe? Where are they?" I asked, desperate for information.
"Are you sure we should be talking about this, in present company?" Bill asked, shooting the Malfoys a glance over his shoulder.
Sirius scoffed. "I actually think Draco will be very interested to hear how our daughter is doing," Anger was radiating off of him in waves.
"Sit down," I said, gesturing to the loveseat that was unoccupied. Draco and Narcissa hesitantly crossed the room. "Where's Harry? I'm not looking forward to this meeting."
"Harry is upstairs, talking to Ollivander and Griphook. He was very insistent," Bill supplied.
"And Fleur?" I asked.
"Upstairs with…" He glanced at the Malfoys again.
"Yes?" I pressed. "Draco helped us escape – he killed Lucius. You can trust him."
"Wait, wait!" Bill exclaimed. "Lucius is dead? Draco's on our side? Tell me what the hell is going on!"
"Not until you tell me where my daughters are!" I insisted.
"Daughters?" Narcissa asked, startling all of us. "I thought you only had one – Hollyn, correct?"
"Eliana. Kept a secret from dear Aunt Bella," Draco said dismissively, looking intently on Bill. "Where's Hollyn? Is she somewhere safe?"
"How do you know about Eliana?" Bill asked, his confusion completely taking over. "I am so confused right now."
"Doesn't matter," I injected. There would be time to talk about all of this after I knew that my daughters were safe. "Where are they?"
"Addie, maybe we should explain –" Sirius said.
I felt my face flush – how could he care about anything other than finding out if our daughters were safe or not? "I don't give a fuck about anything but if our daughters are safe or not." I snapped.
"Eliana is upstairs, with Fleur," Bill said quickly, sensing the rising tension. "Hollyn is with Ginny and Mum – they're at Aunt Muriel's."
"Is it safe?" Draco asked insistently. "What kind of charms are protecting it?"
"Why do you – " Bill began.
"Why are they split up?" I asked. "I want to see them!"
"Kitten, can we please explain to you first?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know that I really care to understand why you decided to abandon your children and go on the run," I said rudely, any lingering affection and relief I felt at seeing him disappearing as I realized he had left our daughters. Which he had promised me to never do.
"Is Hollyn safe?" Draco asked again, becoming frustrated that he was being ignored.
"Draco," Narcissa said, putting a hand on his arm, trying to dissuade him from speaking.
"I WANT TO KNOW IF MY GIRLFRIEND IS SAFE OR NOT!" Draco exploded, throwing his mom's hand off. We all started talking at once – Narcissa trying to calm Draco down, Draco and I insisting that we wanted to know more about Hollyn, Bill insisting we explain, and Sirius insisting that they explain. It was pure chaos, our voices rising as we all tried to make ourselves heard.
"Girlfriend?" came an indignant voice from the hallway. In all of the confusion and all of us talking over one another, we hadn't noticed that the kids had joined us downstairs. I ignored them all however, looking past them to see Fleur had come downstairs as well…carrying my daughter.
"What the fuck is Malfoy doing here?" Ron snapped, his face turning a furious shade of red. He drew his wand, and Bill stood, a cautious hand reaching out to calm Ron. I turned my head back to Eliana; someone else could handle the upcoming pissing match.
She had grown so much in the last nine months. She was two years old now, so much bigger than she had been when I had last seen her. My eyes were magnets, unable to see or hear anything but her. I think Sirius was explaining to the kids what had happened at the Manor, quickly, but I tuned him out. I stood on my shaking legs, throwing Sirius's arm off as he attempted to force me back into my seat. Fleur, however, knew exactly what I wanted. She pushed through the throng of children, her golden hair flowing behind her and her bright blue eyes watering.
"'ere," she said, holding Eliana out to me gently. I took her, my heart falling as I felt how heavy she had gotten. Her dark hair had lightened to brown, the exact same shade as mine. Her eyes, however, were still Sirius's steel grey ones. She had my button nose and Sirius's bowed lips. She was beautiful – so much more beautiful than I even remembered.
"Hi baby," I choked, tears already falling down my cheeks. She turned her head, looking up at me with a small smile on her lips.
"Mama!" she exclaimed excitedly, burying her head in to my shoulder. I breathed a sigh of relief – she understood me. She remembered me.
I nuzzled my cheek against hers, her baby-soft skin the most wonderful thing I had felt in months. "That's right! That's right, baby. Oh, Mama missed you so much, yes I did."
"Hi there, Spud," Sirius said, taking her tiny toddler hand in to his.
"Don't touch her!" I snapped, holding her against my chest protectively. "You don't get to touch her, not when you abandoned her for no reason."
"I didn't leave her for no reason!" Sirius snapped sharply, heat flooding his eyes.
"And what the fuck could possibly be more important than staying and protecting your children?" I snapped back, turning to face off against him, ignoring the incredulous faces watching our rising screaming match. "What have you lot even been doing? Ignoring your responsibilities?"
"HUNTING HORCRUXES!" Sirius exploded. Eliana grabbed her hand back, turned her head in to my chest and started to cry.
I rubbed her back consolingly, glaring at Sirius through squinted eyes. "Explain," I demanded.
And he did – Harry, Hermione and Ron helping to fill in the blanks. I didn't let go of Eliana the entire time he spoke – well over an hour – but I did soften and let myself relax against him again.
Harry explained what Dumbledore and he had discussed during their private lessons last year – and how the night I had been kidnapped they had been out hunting a Horcrux. Draco jumped in at this point, at Ron's suspicious insistence, explaining his part in that night – how he had been tasked by Voldemort with killing Dumbledore, but how it had torn him apart. How he hadn't been able to do it in the end, a fact that Harry corroborated. Ron glared at him still, his eyes never leaving Draco's face and his back straight as he stood stiffly in the same spot as when he had arrived downstairs. Sirius explained how Harry had confided in him after I had been kidnapped, telling him about how Voldemort had six horcruxes that needed to be destroyed before he could be killed. How he had gone back and forth over what the right move was – should he stay with the girls, or go with the kids. The choice was made for him, however, at Bill and Fleur's wedding. They had been attacked, Kingsley's patronous giving them just a minute's notice. He had run to Hollyn immediately, but she had insisted that he go with Harry, promising that she would be alright. There had barely been time to think, and with her pushing him towards Harry, he had gone.
"I've regretted it since – no offense, Harry – and I miss her and Eliana terribly. It wasn't an easy choice, kitten. Harry needed me – Harry NEEDS me. Eliana has been safe here, with Bill and Fleur, and Hollyn was at Hogwarts. Remus told us before we had to leave Grimmauld Place – Molly and Arthur moved to Muriel's after the Burrow was attacked, but Muriel wouldn't let the baby come, so Fleur volunteered. Hollyn was never supposed to leave Hogwarts, and if she did she was supposed to come here, but I guess that it became too difficult to move her and unsafe at Hogwarts. Please, kitten – what would you have had me do? There was no right answer!" Sirius pleaded for me to understand.
My expression softened, and I gestured that he should continue with his story. He told us how they had originally gone back to Grimmauld Place – they'd been worried that with Dumbledore dying, the Fidelius Charm may have broken. But it hadn't, and they had been able to use the house as their home base while they attempted to hunt down horcruxes. And they'd found one.
"I knew that Regulus was on our side," I gasped, when they explained how they had realized the fake locket that Harry and Dumbledore had found in the cave had been planted by Sirius's own brother.
"You always said so," Sirius agreed quickly, relieved that I had calmed down. I'd passed Eliana to him somewhere around the group breaking in to the Ministry – with Sirius's insider knowledge, they'd been able to sneak in with little fanfare. Getting the locket off of Umbridge, however, had certainly been an ordeal.
They told me about how Yaxley had grabbed on to them as they disapparated, and had been brought inside the protections of the Fidelius Charm, so they had been forced to go on the run, camping in different remote places of the country for months. They continued telling me everything that had happened up until the time that Harry had activated the taboo and been captured by the Snatchers. We sat in silence for a moment as the weight of the story sat in the room as though the air had turned to lead.
I was just contemplating speaking, when Draco spoke. "I want to see Hollyn," he demanded, addressing Bill.
"We can't," Bill said. "Apparating is too dangerous."
"I don't care," Draco said stubbornly.
"Nobody here particularly gives a fuck what you want, Malfoy," Ron snapped. "We need to make a plan – what's next Harry? When are we leaving?"
"Leaving?" Fleur exclaimed. "You just got 'ere!"
"No, Ron's right," Sirius said. "We do need to get moving – we have to find and destroy three more horcruxes. We can't afford to delay."
Everyone broke out in to chatter, arguing with each other regarding what the best move was. If they weren't careful, they were going to wake Mr. Ollivander; not that anyone seemed to care.
"If you bring me Hollyn, I will help you get the horcrux out of Aunt Bella's vault." Although he whispered, he broke through the hum of conversation as though he had screamed.
"Draco!" Narcissa shushed him.
"You know what it is?" Harry asked skeptically, looking at Draco for the first time.
"I can only imagine that it's that damn cup," Draco sighed.
"Hufflepuff's cup?" Sirius asked.
Draco shrugged. "I guess. I never cared to look at it. It always made me feel…" he trailed off.
"Horribly sad?" Hermione supplied, in a small voice. Draco nodded, not making eye contact.
"We don't need him," Ron snapped. "We have Griphook!"
"Griphook will betray you faster than you can say Gringotts," Bill said seriously.
"It iz true," Fleur agreed. "Especially if you 'ave promised 'im something in return."
The trio looked at each other guiltily. Sirius sighed, and brought his hands up to rub his eyes. "What did you three do?" He asked, exasperatedly.
"…the…sword," Harry grimaced.
"Oh, Harry," I sighed. Harry would bargain away their only chance of destroying horcruxes, in his attempt to secure a horcrux. It was just the sort of hairbrained scheme James would have come up with. He would have insisted that he would figure something out later, despite the obvious hole in his plan.
"Like I said, all I want is to see my girlfriend, and I'll help you," Draco said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Please stop calling her that," Sirius snapped impatiently. He was in a foul mood, and I honestly couldn't blame him. Tonight alone, he had been tortured, watched someone die, had a fight with his wife, seen his daughter for the first time in months, and found out that his other daughter was dating a Malfoy.
Draco ignored Sirius. "Look, you guys are going to need me. The entire vault is hexed with a Geminio Charm – you'll all be buried alive if you try to enter. It won't affect me – I'm heir to the vault after all, so it's keyed to my magical signature," Draco pressed. "All I want is to see Hollyn. I need to make sure she's okay."
Nobody spoke. We all knew that he was right. He was our only chance at getting in and out of the vault without being captured. We would already have to sneak in to the vault – we couldn't afford to get trapped inside.
Finally, Harry nodded. "Okay, thanks, Malfoy. Bill – what do we need to do to get Hollyn here?"
"Harry!" Ron snapped. "We can't trust Malfoy. He'll sell us out the second he can."
"No, he won't," I said quietly. "He loves Hollyn. He'd never do anything to hurt someone she cares about."
"But, how do you know?" Ron pressed.
"Because…" I started, looking at Draco to make sure it was alright. He nodded, slightly, indicating that I could go ahead. "Because he killed his own father for threatening Sirius and I." That revelation to the kids resulted in the loudest silence I had ever experienced.
Finally, Hermione spoke. "Right. Well, I'd say that clears that up. So, Bill…Hollyn?"
Bill sighed. "I mean, we can bring her here. Merlin, I'm not looking forward to explaining to Mum about…really any of this."
"It'll be nice to see Ginny and Hollyn again," Dean said, quietly to Luna. I hadn't even noticed that they had come downstairs to join us.
"Ginny?" Harry asked, having heard him anyway. "Why would Ginny come?"
Dean chuckled. "Once she finds out you're here, you think anyone is going to be able to stop her?"
Harry's face fell, and he blanched. "No. No she can't know that I'm here. If she comes, she's going to want to help, and I can't have her in danger. Promise me Bill – promise you won't tell anyone that we're here."
"I can't show up there, demand Hollyn and not explain," Bill said.
"Well, Ginny can't know that I'm here," Harry said, stubbornly.
"Harry…" Hermione said hesitantly. "We need Hollyn. How do we get her here without Ginny finding out why?"
"I don't care. I can't do this, and protect her at the same time. She's too…"
"Impulsive," I supplied.
"I'll go," Sirius said quickly, cutting off the budding argument. "I'll run there as padfoot and tell them that we got separated, but that we got Addie back. I'll tell them that I had to get Addie out, brought her here, and that you three had to go somewhere else to escape. I can't apparate because I've never been there, but at least Bill won't have to go."
"I could go, and tell them the exact same story," Bill protested.
Ron snorted. "Bill, you couldn't lie to Mum. She'd see right through you. Remember when you tried to tell her that I had broken your first wand, when really you had fallen on it when you tried to jump off your broom onto Charlie's? She knew you were lying before you had even started speaking."
"Fair point. And Ginny would be worse. I'm the one who taught her how to lie to Mum…she knows my tell."
"Right," Sirius chuckled. "I'll go. I've lied to Molly hundreds of times before – she won't suspect a thing."
"How long will that take?" I asked. "I don't want you to go." My desire to see Hollyn again, to hold her and know that she was safe, was at odds with my desire to never allow Sirius from my sight again. It was really confusing – my emotions. I was happy to see him, mad that he had left the kids, relieved that he had saved me, scared that I was going to lose him. On top of being physically exhausted, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted as well. I just wanted to crawl in to a soft bed, and sleep for the next week.
"I know, kitten," he said. "If I had it my way, I would never let you go again. But if I leave right now, I should be back by morning."
"Do you know the way?" I asked.
"I'll be able to find it," he assured me. He stood up. "I'm going to leave right now. No time to waste."
"Oh, be careful, won't you, Sirius?" Hermione asked, biting her lip nervously.
"Don't do anything stupid," Bill added.
"What, me?" Sirius feigned innocent. "I've never done a stupid thing a day in my life."
"Don't you remember dropping my engagement ring in to the Black Lake?" I deadpanned.
"That was Remus's fault."
"Ha!" I laughed. "I knew that was the reason you were so wet that night!"
Sirius spluttered. "What I meant to say was…that's not fair! You tricked me in to admitting that!"
"You kept that a secret from me for over twenty years!"
"And you are still bringing it up, twenty years later! Merlin, woman, let it go!"
"Can you two ever be serious?" Harry snapped, though somewhat good-naturedly. I groaned, knowing what Sirius was going to say next.
"I'm always Sirius, Harry," he said with a stupid grin. I pulled him away from the group before he could say anything else stupid.
I walked him over to the door, hugging him tightly. I leaned up to kiss him deeply. "I love you," I said. "I am so mad at you. But I love you, and I need you to come back, so that we can make it through this war and have the biggest fight we have ever had."
"I love you," he chuckled. "I'd really rather skip that fight, if I'm being honest. But…I guess I'll just have to come back."
"After twenty years… you're not getting rid of me," I said, kissing him again.
"You're alright, though? Honestly?" He asked me quietly, looking at me with soft eyes.
I nodded. "I will be. We don't have time to talk about it all…I don't know if I'm even ready to talk about it. I…I don't know if I'll ever be ready, honestly," I said. I felt myself slipping, slipping off to that place that Sirius still sometimes fell off in to when he talked about his childhood or his time in Azkaban. The place where one could get lost inside their own mind; lost within their memories, hiding from the pain of their past. If I tried to talk about it, I would have to relive it – and I don't know if I could survive that. He squeezed me tightly, breaking me from my thoughts. With one last yearning look, he turned his back to me and shifted in to padfoot. He kissed my wrist once, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes, before barking his goodbye, turning and running off in to the darkness.
The next morning, I woke up early and sat in the living room all day, Eliana perched firmly on my lap or playing with blocks on the floor right in front of me. As morning turned to afternoon, Shell Cottage's inhabitants filtered in and out of the living room. Harry, Ron and Hermione spent their time down by the sea, sticking their feet in to the water and whispering among themselves, despite the strong wind that sent their hair flying. Ollivander and Griphook kept to their rooms, recuperating. Fleur tried to insist that I take her and Bill's bed, but I was too anxious to rest so I waved her off. I knew that I needed it – my entire body was protesting even the mildest of movements, the months in the dark and the months of torture having taken their toll on me, but any time I tried to close my eyes, I panicked that I could no longer see Eliana. I couldn't rest until my family was back under one roof. I couldn't rest until I could afford to turn my brain off for a couple of minutes.
Luna and Dean came downstairs after a while and sat quietly in armchairs across from the couch I had commandeered. I remembered, somewhat belatedly, that Dean was Ginny's ex-boyfriend – I remembered him from Flourish and Blotts last summer. At some point, he had gotten down on the ground and started to play with Eliana, her childish, gleeful squeals filling the living room and lightening the heavy mood. It felt out of place, her innocence, but I wouldn't begrudge her that.
"I have two baby sisters," Dean explained. "Twins. Just a little older than Eliana. I…miss them, terribly."
There was an awkward pause. After a couple of moments, Luna said brightly, "Father always says that twins attract wrackspurts…something to do with having eaten their triplet in the womb." Nobody spoke for the remainder of the afternoon, Luna happily reading a book that she had borrowed from Bill and Fleur's modest library.
As day turned to night, my anxiety turned to all out panic. I tried to sneak out, to apparate to Muriel's, but realized I didn't know the way. Bill refused, point-blank, when I asked him to go check.
"It's not safe! The less we can move around, the better. Your brother was nearly murdered when he left his safehouse to visit your dad after he was in an accident at work. We all agreed after that to only leave the safehouses in the case of an extreme emergency. We think the death eaters have a general idea of where each house is located. If Sirius was captured or killed – we'd know it by now. The best thing to do is wait for him. He's a big boy and he's been on the run before; he knows what he's doing," Bill sighed, running his hand down his face. Fleur perched behind him, running her hands down his back in a comforting way. "Besides, we don't want to give anything away that will convince Ginny that Harry's here. She can be quite…insistent when there's something she wants."
I conceded the point, but I blanched, realizing I hadn't even though to ask about my family beforehand. "Are they okay?"
"As far as we know. Fred and George have been staying with them, since Muriel kicked them out after their fourth explosion in her guest room, and they haven't said anything about them on their radio show." I nodded, weakly, wishing I could go see them. Or let them know I was okay. Or do anything to make this shitty situation any better. I settled for sending a patronous to them, letting them know that I was alive and safe. Lewis's owl patronous came back, letting me know that they loved me and were all safe.
We all went to sleep that night figuring that we would wake up to Sirius and Hollyn, having returned during the night. I settled fitfully on the couch, fighting sleep for as long as I could. I cuddled Eliana to me, her breathing slow and comforting. Eventually, I could resist no more, and I succumbed to the darkness.
But Sirius never returned. As days passed in to a week, I felt myself grow numb. One week turned in to two, and I went mute. I spent my days sitting on the couch, staring out the window at the sea. Surprisingly, most days I was joined by Malfoy, who sat equally quietly in an armchair, pretending to read a book. His mother, surprisingly, had taken quite well to Fleur, and the two women could be heard muttering in French in the kitchen. Fleur missed France, I think. She took to making traditional French dishes for dinner that week, which I only pretended to eat.
By the end of the third week, I was ready to imperius Bill and force him to take me to Muriel's. I walked in on him and Fleur whispering to each other in the kitchen, one night before dinner, determined to insist he take me to see my daughter. I raised my eyebrows at them, and Fleur glared at Bill furiously.
"Tell 'er," she demanded.
My heart sank as I expected the worst. "Tell me what?"
"Fred and George…reported that somebody was found…dead in the forests just a couple of miles from Muriel's house."
"I'm so sorry, Addie," Fleur said quietly. "They don't know who it was…"
"Harry's been trying to get Sirius to answer his two-way mirror, but…he hasn't answered."
